Email: rachelkramerbussel at


Lusty Lady

Watch my first and favorite book trailer for Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Get Spanked in print and ebook

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Flickr testing

After being delivered to the wrong floor, I finally got my crazy
delicious cucakes from Provo's The Sweet Tooth Fairy. Testing my
umpteenth Flickr account. New Year's resolution is to sustain a safe
search Flickr pro account. I have way too many of themand being
moderated SUCKS.

As seen on Hanover at 4:28

John DeVore says blowjobs are overrated

John DeVore, a very funny, smart guy who used to cohost the fabulous DeVore and Diana Show on Maxim Sirius Radio.

He writes this column for The Frisky that is so honest about his take on sex and dating and every time I'm like, "I wish more guys could be as open as that." Seriously. It's called Mind of Man and you should read it. (And yes, I write for and link to The Frisky a lot, but I was a reader before I was a writer for them, and I keep going back because they kick ass. The editors are giving their New Year's Resolutions - funnily enough, one is, no more blowjobs - and they just consistently have kickass content that I'm sad I don't have time to read all of.)

Take his latest, Mouth Love is Meh, which I feel the need to quote extensively but you should SO check out the whole thing. Like, how many guys are gonna stand up and say, "I'm not into blowjobs?" Now, this may be hypocritical of me because I have written that such a man is a dealbreaker for me. But I don't think it's hypocritical, because everyone has their preferences and their interests. I was saying that particular stance was a dealbreaker for me. My point here though is that I love John's writing, and if I get the chance to edit another edition of Best Sex Writing, it's going on the shortlist.

It feels good, sure. But not that good. I can’t get off if she’s all the way down there. I need her eyes, her mouth, her words, to really achieve anything that can reasonably be defined as sexual satisfaction. For the record, feeling sexually “satisfied” is very underrated. That deeply comforting post-coital buzz that can only come when one’s appetite is blissfully sated.

Am I the only dude who feels this way? I mean, I think I am. There are plenty of women who dislike men going down on them, which is something I enjoy doing. That might be hypocritical, but it just is. I don’t really have a sweet tooth, but I enjoy making a mean chocolate pecan pie. There are other things I’d rather do with a lover than getting a “knobber.”

I know what you’re thinking. That this is some clever, douche-tastic ploy to
get a blow job. Women are aloof and bashful when it comes to their sexual egos, unlike men. Yes, it’s an example of the unfairness of gender politics. Women are embarrassed by their desires; men flaunt them. But women have huge egos when it comes to pleasing their men. I floated my thoughts for this column past a female friend of mine, that I thought blow jobs were overrated, and her half-joking instinctual response was, “Well, I’ll show you.”

Every woman I have dated has come to the table with her own trademarked methods: some of them the result of experience, some of them experiments to be tossed aside or added to their internal, carnal repertoire. It’s hilarious and utterly endearing. They’ve shown off double-fist techniques, road-tested tongue twirls, tried different rhythms. Some ignore the testicles, some are all about them. I knew a chick who sincerely
loved to give head. Her choreography was a well-timed ballet of strokes, deep-throating, tickling, and unparalleled tongue acrobatics. You know that trashy trick when a woman ties a cherry stem into a knot with her mouth? This woman could eat a ball of paper and spit out an origami swan.

I am not criticizing motives here. It is good, and it is right to want to please the person you’re hooking up with. I think men have become more aggressive about giving women head because we’re tired of not being able to satisfy you with penetrative sex. We want to get you off. Nothing is hotter in the known universe than being able to give a woman an eyeball-spinning orgasm. I’m not a jerk about receiving; as a pre-game trifle, it can be fun. But I keep returning to the idea that it is strangely impersonal. There’s not enough give and take, back and forth, and the sweaty exchange of human energies is the entire point, the fun of it all.

Keep reading "Mouth Love is Meh"

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Stephen Elliott in purple fishnets

Because why not? This photo is from Alison Tyler's blog and is of Sex for America editor and noted author Stephen Elliott in purple fishnets (I love fishnets!). Enjoy!

Oh, and be sure to also visit Stephen's awesome site The Rumpus, which I hope to contribute to in 2009, for everything from what high heels say about sex, style, politics and power to a review of The Wrestler and much, much more.

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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Am I "The Sluttiest Girl in the Room?"

or the blogosphere? Check out my latest Dating Drama column at The Frisky, "The Sluttiest Girl in the Room"

What’s funny is that I accidentally typed “The Sluttiest Girl in the World” and had that up the whole column and had to go back and change it. Or are there no accidents? Please read/comment/link/Digg/etc. I forgot we can’t curse at The Frisky, but I’m sure you’ll know that was supposed to say “fuck buddies.” I am finding I really like writing about dating and relationships as opposed to sex sex sex. Not to worry, though, I will have some sexiness (I hope) to detail in 2009. And it's not so much about how "slutty" I am compared to other girls, but that feeling of not being able to make a new start. But anyway, read it yourself.

It’s one thing to smile a little to yourself as you stand in a bookstore and run your fingers over the name of someone you’ve bedded or whisper to your friend at a party about your mutual friend who you were once #### buddies with, but it’s another to be constantly reminded that you’ve gotten around.

I don’t regret sleeping with the people that I have (though many I wouldn’t repeat). You learn from bad sex, missed communication, broken hearts, ignoring red flags. But at 33, I’m looking for different stuff from my dates than I was at 23, or even 31. That’s the part that’s hardest to convey to Google. I loved feeling open and carefree enough to say yes to a woman who propositioned me for a threesome via email, or having dirty hotel sex with my porn director friend, or hooking up with a hot Costa Rican stranger in the Atlanta airport when we were both stranded there overnight, but I don’t want those to be the only things someone new remembers about me.

Keep reading

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We talked last night. I was sitting in Batch, chatting with Pichet Ong, who I’ve gotten over being too starstruck about (still a little, which is funny cause I hardly know who most bigtime chefs are). He’s just so friendly and interested in both people and food. Plus Batch has wifi! I’m gonna be a fixture there.

But anyway, by “we” I meant me and J. We hadn’t talked in a while, in part cause of timing and traveling and in part I guess cause it’s easier, easier to move into the present and future when you’re not so intimately connected to the past. Because I sortof jokingly said that my grandmother invited him to Martha’s Vineyard next summer, and all of a sudden I could picture him there so easily. He’d probably like it more than I do, being more of a water person.

We didn’t talk about anything too seriousæholidays, New Year’s, family, snow. Then I got off the phone and floated through the Village to Union Square. It reminded me of umpteen late-night, going to bed conversations we had this last year and it made it harder. I’m making a huge effort to do new things, to fall in love with New York City again. I ate a dosa at Hampton Chutney and then wound up at a Starbucks where I met someone who’d been at my chess meetup the week before. I went to the food safari and made a new friend and then we went to say hello to an old friends. I’ve been trying to shake myself out of the ruts I’ve fallen into, because I can either be very outgoing or hole up in my apartment for days on end.

I went on a date, a very sweet one, that could be considered a first or second date, depending. It’s not really like that, cause we’re friends, but it felt good, like that’s what I’m supposed to be doing. Over the holidays I heard from 3 exes, one of whom made my breath catch when I saw the message on my phone; I think his name will always do that. One isn’t really an ex, more like someone I had some dates with, but the other two, pretty much whenever I hear from them, I relive our entire relationship in the course of a minute or two in my mind. It’s sweet and disconcerting in equal measures.

I think the hardest part of putting this relationship firmly in its 2008 place and not trying to drag it into 2009 is how to deal with all the things I want to tell him, things that would matter to no one else, things that are our things. It’s not that I don’t want to have that with someone else, I do, and suddenly there are potential people here, there and everywhere. I guess I just don’t want to be making some grave mistake, and I also don’t know how to just be his friend. That word is so fucking loaded, so weak and bland, like “nice,” to describe it everything I feel for him. It’s ironic/funny/whatever that I wanted to break up because I hated being sad all the time, hated feeling lonely even when I had someone I loved and vice versa, and yet I still feel that way more often than I’d like. I feel like the end of the year is a time to make grand pronouncements and life plans, and more and more I’m stuck in some emotional limbo land where I have no idea what the right decisions are. Maybe, most annoyingly, there isn’t one single right decision, or rather, I’m not the one meant to make it.


Sign up for my newsletter, and why my virtual assistant rocks

I'm not sure if you know this, but I have a monthly newsletter. I've had it for a while but the monthly part's been iffy, until now. Why? Because this year I did one of the best things ever and hired my awesome virtual assistant, Inara. She is super speedy, helpful, and smart and has helped me with all sorts of projects. My main problem now is getting myself to delegate work to her.

What's she done for me? Research, like finding My Postcard Printing, which has super cheap prices, and looking up things like romance bookstores and sex-related blogs. She's helped me with spreadsheets, email forwarding, my mailing list, book promotion, and other projects and is fast, professional, affordable and awesome.

So anyway, sign up for my newsletter if you want to keep up to date, next one goes out the week of January 5th:

Fill out your e-mail address
to receive the monthly RKB newsletter!

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Monday, December 29, 2008

Batch rocks part 2

Cranberry coconut cupcakes! Tart fresh cranberry filling, a sweet (for
Batch) cake and coconut frosting. I feel like I lack the words to
properly describe these. Pichet Ong is telling us to add Batch on
Facebook - will add link soon, am on my iPhone.

Guest blogging at Jewcy next week

I'll be guest blogging at Jewcy next week, as will Stephanie Klein, author of Moose: A Memoir of Fat Camp.

Not sure yet what I'll be posting about; they've given me free reign and I've been reading a LOT of great stuff. Any ideas, let me know at rachelravenous at - I'll post the links here each day next week.

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Interesting packaging for Nerve: The First Ten Years

My copy of the book Nerve: The First Ten Years (Chronicle Books) came in the mail today, in very interesting wrapping. The publicist told me they've had some concerns over the book getting stolen because of it - it was sent in see-through bubble wrap...with a (Trojan) condom and (Good Vibrations) lube! You can also check out the content online and vote for your favorite pieces. It has work by tons of artists and writers like Kevin Keck (on handjobs) and Em & Lo and others, and I'm looking forward to checking it out further (contributor J.L. Scott reads from the book Thursday, January 15th at In The Flesh).

Unique mailing for Nerve: The First Ten Years

Free condom and lube in my copy of Nerve: The First Ten Years

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Sunday, December 28, 2008

Tapioca dessert in cupcake cups

I just had yummy baked kale and skirt steak.

Cupcake lookalikes

Lemon curd tarts - I missed the pound cake, it went fast.

Cathy Erway's pie demo

At the Photojojo food safari. Surrounded by demos, including pumpkin

Making like a food blogger at the Photojojo food safari

I kindof have no idea what is going on at the Photojojo food safari in
Williamsburg, where they are making strudel, pound cake, wontons,
blackened kale and other goodness. My friend Melissa Sands from Fork
This ( is here and random foodblogger and
photographer types.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Too true

Too true
Originally uploaded by Rachel Kramer Bussel
Although mostly I'm just the queen of the Google news alert.

VPILF t-shirt

VPILF t-shirt
Originally uploaded by Rachel Kramer Bussel
As seen at Danbury Mall.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

E-books and other musings

As it turns out, there is internet access at my grandmother's in Danbury, which obviously means I am catching up on so much blog and newspaper reading, including the New York Times piece about e-books, which reads in part:

So far, publishers like HarperCollins, Random House and Simon & Schuster say that sales of e-books for any device — including simple laptop downloads — constitute less than 1 percent of total book sales. But there are signs of momentum. The publishers say sales of e-books have tripled or quadrupled in the last year.

Amazon’s Kindle version of “The Story of Edgar Sawtelle” by David Wroblewski, a best seller recommended by Ms. Winfrey’s book club, now represents 20 percent of total Amazon sales of the book, according to Brian Murray, chief executive of HarperCollins Publishers Worldwide.

The Kindle version of the book, which can be downloaded by the device itself through its wireless modem, costs $9.99 in the Amazon Kindle store. The Reader version costs $11.99 from Sony’s e-book library, accessible from an Internet-connected computer.

Even authors who were once wary of selling their work in bits and bytes are coming around. After some initial hesitation, authors like Danielle Steel and John Grisham are soon expected to add their titles to the e-book catalog, their agents say.

“E-books will become the go-to-first format for an ever-expanding group of readers who are newly discovering how much they enjoy reading books on a screen,” said Markus Dohle, chief executive of Random House, the world’s largest publisher of consumer books.

Nobody knows how much consumer habits will shift. Some of the most committed bibliophiles maintain an almost fetishistic devotion to the physical book. But the technology may have more appeal for particular kinds of people, like those who are the heaviest readers.

Recently, I bought some of my first e-books, one of Violet Blue's, as well as 2 by Megan Hart (if you buy Layover by December 29th, you can win a copy of her latest novel Stranger) and one by Jenesi Ash (these were from Harlequin's Spice Briefs program, yet another goal along with Black Lace on my writerly dream list). There was one point where I had some extra cash (ha!) and was going to buy a Kindle and was told to wait, so I did. I am also inundated with physical books, most of which I get for free, to review or consider or from friends, or I get from the library and some I do in fact buy cause I just cannot wait to read them. Finding time to read all the books I want to read is my main issue when it comes to reading.

But I'm glad that more and more of my Cleis titles are being released on Kindle, such as Best Sex Writing 2009. For erotica especially, I think e-books are a great format, though it's hard for me to truly talk about the format without having used it myself.

I have absolutely no clue how the 2 e-books I edited for Ravenous Romance will do, so like with all the others, am just waiting and seeing (The Lust Chronicles is available now, Sex and Music should be out next month, both with authors who aren't the usual erotica suspects, many are Twitter users and bloggers). I will always probably favor print, because I love bookstores. I love wandering their aisles, seeing what catches my eye, sitting down with a few books and seeing which one I must own that minute. In Austin, I spent over an hour wandering around BookPeople, admiring the vast and quirky selection, the fact that you could get a massage, the card selection, and simply the human input there. I hear about most of the books I read from online sources, but there's nothing quite like browsing to discover that book by the woman who came to your reading, or that memoir you've been wanting to read, or whatever. I don't think I will ever become a dedicated e-book over paper book reader, but that doesn't mean I don't think my books should be available in both formats.

Mostly I'm just trying to figure out where to go next, if there is a place for me to go next, in publishing. I'm honored that I haven't worn out my welcome at Cleis this year, that they still want to work with me, and I hope to continue to find ways to promote my books that don't cost tons of money, like blogging about hotel sex and the mile high club. I obviously don't make a living from books, and doubt I ever will, and am not even sure I'd ever want to. But I do want to maximize what I can do within erotica even as I explore other things I want to write about. I hope to have news about 2 non-fiction books in 2009, one of which it feels like I've been pitching forever and a day, the other I know could work, I just need to dedicate myself to. But mostly I'm just taking things as they come and trying to learn from authors I admire, like Megan Hart, who writes these killer novels for Harlequin Spice (I am not just saying that cause she advertises here) and memoirists like Rachel Resnick and Gail Konop Baker and Mary Pols, all of whom wowed me with their books this year. That is the real kind of writing I want to do, that I hope I have it in me to do, in both my weekly column and elsewhere.

Now we're off to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, thankfully dragging me away from the Internets for a little while (I'll be back though!).

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Happy Holidays, off to Connecticut!

Happy Holidays everyone! I will have a, uh, late gift giving/Hannukah gift guide hopefully on Friday, but will be offline save for my iPhone until then, visiting my grandmother in Danbury, Connecticut. I've had a nerdy week full of trivia and chess playing and am trying to finish both work and fun book reading by the new year, though I think some of my TBR books will have to extend into 2009. That's about it, but I wanted to share this photo by Stacie Joy of me and my friend Sloane Miller from last week's In The Flesh, just cause I think it's cute. More here (yes, Flickr blocked them, but those first few pages are all 100% extremely safe for anyone and everything).

Sloane Miller and Rachel Kramer Bussel at True Sex Confessions Night at In The Flesh Reading Series

Monday, December 22, 2008

What I Learned from My Last Relationship

My latest Dating Drama column for The Frisky is about What I Learned from My Last Relationship.

What to say about that...not too much really. We talk, a little, and I'm trying to get out and go to old and new social events. Not that easy when I want to stay home and make casseroles (last night's was the tater tot turkey one - yum!) and watch Entourage and read YA novels. Much as I'm glad not to be buried in snow, I kindof wish I were at his family's cabin. They were so welcoming to me and I think that too made me wish I could kindof leap over our issues and join their family, but twas not to be. I think in addition to what I wrote in the column, it taught me that I'm not wedded to NYC. In some ways, I'm limited in that I don't drive and don't have a great desire to start, but I am definitely willing to explore other potential cities. The chances of me getting a job in one...probably slim, but I didn't really get that far. I have a lot to do before I could even possibly get to that point, and that's what I hope to get done this winter, along with, fingers crossed, dating. I feel like there's not all that much control I have over the dating arena of my life so I'm just kindof waiting and seeing.

Oh, and all my stressing over the Oxford thing - I found out that while it's flattering, it wasn't just me they asked, it was Carol Queen, Joani Blank, Susie Bright...who knows who else? So I don't feel quite as bad about rushing off there, plus I would realistically need more than 2 months' notice for that. I am supposed to go to Italy in May for a week to visit my mom before she moves back to the States. I've never been, and I've been dragging my feet about going, but it looks like it's going to happen, though trying to think about that right now gives me a headache. I'm trying to get January, February and March sorted out the best I can, which means finally setting up my 2009 cupcake wall calendar. I may have an iPhone, but I'm still a hard copy calendar user.

I did write a little this weekend, but a very little, and it was slowgoing. I think my erotica-writing days are nearing their end and my brain wants me to focus on what I really am meant to be doing, non-fiction. There's a book project that I know I can sell if I just get off my ass and do the necessary research, but it's scary. It's about bisexuality and it's actually quite fascinating and I have many great interviewees, but then I start to second guess myself, as I do about a lot of things. It goes back to that whole not wanting to be pigeonholed thing, and also unsureness about whether I can do justice to my topic, but I want to try.

All I really seem to write lately are to do lists, endless ones that litter my bags, my floor, every nook and cranny. I look at them, but really I look past them. I know David Allen has a new book out, but I never really got down with Getting Things Done. There's a funny article in the new Wired comparing 3 time management books, but that's for full-time freelancers. It's not even so much time management, when you have a FT job and do other things, as creativity management, balancing the big ideas with having the time to actually work on them, with jotting down notes and reminders but also finding the energy to get to them. Rachel Resnick wrote in her book about hypergrafia, and I was like, will I ever get that compulsion to write, everything else be damned? I am very excited to bid good riddance to 2008, but at the same time, it reminds me of how much I didn't accomplish, and trying to balance starting the new year off right with making amends for the old one, well, sometimes it overwhelms me. But I'm just taking things one day at a time, happy if I can eke out an idea here, a set of interview questions there.

For my next column I actually need interviewees by Saturday - it's about trying to date when you've dated heavily in the other person's social circles. How do you handle that, like dating or hooking up with someone whose friend you've been involved with in the past? Or do you consider your ex's friends off limits? Email me at rachelravenous at

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Sunday, December 21, 2008

Away from the holiday crowds, New York is still beautiful

I stepped outside the library and this is what I saw.

Kicking myself, repeatedly, or the great irony that is my life

I just agreed to move the Susie Bright reading from January 15th to February 19th, mostly because I didn't really have a choice. And then I get invited to debate at Oxford! reality, it probably would have been too expensive and used up too many vacation days, but still, I would in a heartbeat have looked into flights and had a guest host, were I not having Susie Bright come to read at In The Flesh.

I guess there is always an upside and a downside, the upside of moving the date being that the fabulous Marcelle Manhattan can now read her work immortalizing In The Flesh. Another downside is that I cannot have Live Nude Girl author Kathleen Rooney, who happens to be in town that night. Obviously, I realize that there are worse choices to have in the world, but for a girl who likes to say yes to everything, it pains me to have to turn down an honor like this, because the fact is, it likely won't come again.

Who knows what might have happened if I'd gotten this a month ago? I think I would have just gone for it, practicalities be damned. I'll get over it, and it's still an honor, and I also am a horrible debater, so I will look at the bright side, which is that I still get to host the one and only Susie Bright at my reading series. Part of me is tempted to give the reins over to Susie and just go, but then I'd be shirking my duties on that end and again, I have a job and bills and all that. Just wanted to share this since it certainly doesn't happen every day. When I went to London last New Year's, I went to Coffee, Cake and Kink and Sh! which both stocked my books and were very kind, and I have it on my "list of things I want to do someday" to go back and read, plus one of my Cleis publishers is there (I managed to be an idiot and miss meeting her at the Tate Modern on that visit).

Anyway, all of that is outside my control. I realize I couldn't have known this invitation was coming, but I feel like this is karma or whatever informing me to stand up for myself in the future and not kowtow to any random publisher's (or whoever's) requests. Well, aside from the fact that I'm not going to work with publishers directly, only authors, for In The Flesh anymore, I think that is good advice, part of my Big Life Lesson this year in standing up for myself (more on that later). And it's not anyone's fault, in the end, just fate I guess that these two events, both about female sexuality, to a large degree, fall on the same date so so far away from one another.

The letter I just received from the president of the Oxford Union:

Dear Ms. Bussel,

I am writing as President of the Oxford Union to invite you to speak in a debate which I am hosting on Thursday 19th February. The proposed motion is:


Whatever one thinks of sexual promiscuity it is undeniable that there remains a manifest discrepancy in our attitudes toward male (encouraged with positive terms such as “player”) and female sexuality (condemned with derogatory terms such as “slut”). To many feminist thinkers, therefore, it is a virtue for women to reclaim the legitimacy of female sexuality and stand proud of their sex lives. To some, however, casual sex between many partners is yet another example of the subjugation of women by men. Others would argue that promiscuity, whether among men or women, is inherently immoral and a key factor in the degradation of our society. Is the continued stigmatisation of the sexually promiscuous a sign that we remain repressed as a nation, and should we step back and appreciate the virtues of free love? Or is promiscuity an evil that
should continue to be scorned and vilified?

As you may be aware, the Oxford Union enjoys a reputation as the world’s oldest and most famous student debating society. Over the years, it has gained a reputation as the most prominent debating platform outside Westminster and contains the world’s oldest purpose-built debating chamber. Throughout our 180 year history, we have regularly hosted high-profile international figures here in Oxford to discuss contemporary and controversial issues. We are proud to be able to count amongst our past guests Mother Theresa, Desmond Tutu, the Dalai Lama, Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter, Michael Jackson and Her Majesty the Queen to name but a few. Last term alone, for example, we were lucky enough to host the US Secretary of Homeland Security, Michael Chertoff, along with the leader of the British opposition party, David Cameron. We would be delighted to be able to add you to the long list of pre-eminent speakers who have visited this prestigious society.

The evening usually starts with a drinks reception at 6.30pm, followed by dinner and the debate, which begins at 8.30pm. Should you require any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me by e-mail: xxx@xxx, by mobile telephone: xxx or by
using the details at the foot of this letter.

At any rate, I can guarantee you unstinting hospitality and the warmest reception in Oxford. The Society would, naturally, be happy to cover your domestic travel expenses, as well as hosting you at the dinner preceding the event, the drinks reception afterwards and providing accommodation if required.

It would be an absolute pleasure to welcome you to the Union for this debate and I very much look forward to hearing from you soon.

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Saturday, December 20, 2008

Instead of MoMA

Twanna and her friend Sarah and I tried to go to MoMA today to see the
Van Gogg exhibit but were thwarted because it was sold out. We're
going to try again New Year's weekend.

I returned some library books and took our Susanna Sonnenberg's memoir
Her Last Death. Gonna read this and some other books at the
library after my soup. I am still on the hunt for the perfect NYC
cafe, with wifi, good tea, a bathroom and cozy atmosphere.

Friday, December 19, 2008


This week has really kicked my ass, all the more because I just saw that yesterday's post that I thought went through, um, didn't. Well, whatever now, but I was excited that the New York Times UrbanEye wrote up In The Flesh. So did Meredith Bryan at The New York Observer. I'm really grateful for the coverage, especially as I know the time has come to end it, and I just can't seem to pull the plug.

I will figure it out though, because I think the toll it takes is a bit too much for me to handle. Don't get me wrong, it's always inspiring, and getting to hang with the likes of Rachel Resnick and Christen Clifford and their smart friends and feel like a peer was delightful. I just don't think I have what it takes to be a host, to hustle like that, to rebook things at the last minute. It's a little too much for no reward, you know? That sounds crass, perhaps, but it's true. I want things to matter, to be moving me forward, propelling me. I hate the feeling of stagnation or, worse, regression. I have the next few months planned and then will reassess. Part of me really hopes I'll be far gone from New York by then, or just in a better kind of New York, a better one for me.

I'm way too emotionally spent to break down the evening - you can relive it on YouTube soon, promise.

This weekend I have a lot of work to do, some of which I look forward to, some not so much though lately any baby step I take, I feel proud of. That's how far I've devolved, that sening an email seems like a major life accomplishment. I don't seem to quite know to finish things anymore, how to get them done, how to not let every opportunity slip out of my grasp - or more like, how to even try to grasp at all. At least, that's how it feels on a Friday night with too many items on the endless lists unchecked.

In the meantime, I have lots of books, and that's what I need right now. Parties, not so much. I'm loving Benoit Denizet-Lewis's book America Anonymous and will probably read that before I tackle:

booking January 15th's In The Flesh - it's been longer than I can remember that I didn't have the next month's reading all booked. Thanks to Chronicle Books deciding to, oh, lay off a bunch of their workforce, including, very sadly, publicist Darcy Cohan, and then changing Susie Bright's NYC date, I now have that month to fill, but I'll figure it out. At least I know no matter how cold it is February 19th, we'll have a full house.

writing an erotica story about Rapunzel

reading two books to review for Penthouse

Reading Amber Dawn's anthology Fist of the Spider Woman so I can blurb it

Other stuff that's even more boring than the above!

Anyway, my life is pretty dumb right now. Or at least, it feels that way, to put it extremely mildly cause I have this writer's block or whatever, which is why I've been sleepwalking through it the past few months. I am working on making it less dumb in 2009.

My new e-book and a story from Ravenous Romance

I will have more to say about my (mixed) thoughts on e-publisher Ravenous Romance later (it's on my endless, hateful to do list, which means in all likelihood I may not get to it til 2010, but we'll see).

For now, I wanted to share that they just released my e-book anthology The Lust Chronicles, one where most of the authors were culled from Twitter and elsewhere on the Internets. It's great to be able to publish new authors and friends and since I got my start in erotica land with true stories in my books Up All Night and later First-Timers, plus all those early true stories I wrote, I feel like it's fitting. Though I still have my fingers and toes crossed that the publishing fairies smile down on me in 2009 and someone green lights my proposal for my True Sex Confessions anthology! (A girl can dream...)

So here's the cover and Table of Contents for that:

The Lust Chronicles: the new cover I like

The Lust Chronicles

Edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel

Introduction – Truth is Sexier Than Fiction
Solo Sex – A Personal History by Zille Defeu
Luke Lushious by Lolita Wolf
Five’s Company by Mal Ross
Straight Seduced by Siren
First-Time Mistress by Rachel Kramer Bussel
Fedora by Jincey Lumpkin
Fairy Tale by Mia
Day at St. John’s by Heidi Champa
I Remember a Night at a Renaissance Faire by Sara Eileen
The Anticipation of Joy by Max Lagos
Flogger by Alysa Adams
Room 3025 by Maria M. Diaz
Three's Company For Two, Please by Val Strange
Letting Off Steam by Graydancer
Digital Manipulation by Alessia Brio
Sex in Dirty Places by Twanna A. Hines
The Consequences of Complaint by Alex M. Quinlan
Slow Dance by NookieNotes
Rocked Deep by Zaedryn Meade
Mile High Club by Devan Sagliani
Submit by Shanna Katz
Daredevil by Desiree
Kiss My Boots by Mollena “Mo” Williams
Notes on a Night in Bed by Jenna B.
Older Woman Appreciation by Mark Farley

Oh, and this is the cover they were going to give me that I was pretty horrified by. Thankfully, with e-publishers unlike print ones (coughHaworthAlysoncough), you can make your case, and I did, and they listened!

Also, my editor Lori Perkins has included my lesbian stripper shoe story, inspired by a particularly awesome pair I saw in St. Paul this summer, in her anthology Sex & Shoes, which is also only $4.99. Recession smut pricing, people!
Sex and Shoes anthology

Speaking of shoes, Stacie Joy took this photo of my new ones last night:

True Sex Confessions Night at In The Flesh Reading Series

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Thursday, December 18, 2008

Mini burger at Barmache

At dinner with five other women after In The Flesh. Yum.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Gawker's coming to In The Flesh - are you?

In The Flesh gets Gawked

Gawker's Sheila McClear (do yourself a favor and see her in her sexy lingerie photos here) wrote up Thursday's In The Flesh, and says she'll be there "with bells on."

Then Neal Boulton wrote in with:

"you forgot to mention that claire will have her hot girlfriend with her, and I will have my 21 year old boy toy with me and we will all be nude. :-) "

And did you know that former Governor Eliot Spitzer was also at Happy Ending Lounge, the home of In The Flesh, recently? Maybe I should have asked him to read!

Here are the details again (plus the Top 10 Reasons to Attend):

December 18th at 8 PM
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET, NYC (look for pink awning that says "health club")
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey or F/V to 2nd Avenue,
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676

Hear the latest round of our popular True Sex Confessions—and share one of your own! Featuring Rachel Resnick (author of the memoir Love Junkie), Neal Boulton (editor of, Kiki T. (astrosexologist for, playwright Christen Clifford (reading from (What I Know About) My Parents’ Sex Life), and blogger Rex Sorgatz ( Hosted and curated by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Dating Drama columnist,, Editor, Best Sex Writing 2009, Spanked). Audience members will have the chance to anonymously share their True Sex Confessions on index cards to be read aloud. Free candy and cupcakes will be served. Books will be for sale from Mobile Libris.

And I've upped the price to $125 cause I'm still without a videotaper, Found someone! and missing Sara Schaefer more by the second!

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Hot guy-guy group hug

This photo comes from a site where my books have been the target of a good deal of critique this year, Erotica Cover Watch. They just posted a group hug post with some hot man candy, seen above. And, well, I believe all publicity is good publicity and the thing I'm most concerned with with my book covers is not having dreadful horrible ones (read: Glamour Girls, Sexiest Soles), with in my experience mean - nobody buys them! Yes, that's right, I've seen nada in the weay of royalties and don't expect to from those books, and that's a shame. Glamour Girls was a Lammy finalist, but because the publisher told a completely horribly cover that in no way reflects the hot content inside, they shot themselves, and therefore me, in the foot.

I'm a wretched businesswoman, and this year I've been trying to learn lessons from what didn't sell and what did, and focus only on the latter. I used to believe in putting out books just because I was passionate about them, and I discovered the hard way that if I'm not passionate about them, money is irrelevant, and conversely, I am too in debt to do things that don't pay (another lesson learned this year). I think these are all valuable learning experiences, but they also make me look at book covers with perhaps a more jaded, or simply critical, eye. I will have more to say on effective book marketing and publicity (time provided, which lately is so iffy, the time seems to disappear the minute I start something), like the kind Thursday's In The Flesh reader Rachel Resnick, author of Love Junkie, has been doing, but for now, do check out Thomas Nelson CEO Michael Hyatt's take on book marketing.

But you win some, you lose some, and I got a Merkley??? photo for my Dirty Girls cover and endless hot ones from Cleis that I'm thrilled with. I'm concerned with the bottom line, though I do appreciate criticism when it's well-informed. You can go to Erotica Cover Watch and read and judge for yourselves.

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Monday, December 15, 2008

Announcing my SXSW "Nom Nom Nom: The Secrets of Successful Foodblogging" panel

Update: Of course as soon as I posted that, I found out my panel is on Tuesday, March 17th! Don't have a time yet, but will announce when I do...

I still don't have an exact date, but if you're going to SXSW Interactive, you do not want to miss my panel, "Nom Nom Nom: The Secrets of Successful Foodblogging." Yes, there will be free cupcakes from Austin bakeries, but check out my awesomely successful, talented, food porn and hunger pang creating panelists (more on them later). I love that I am so out of the loop I didn't even know Cathy has a book coming out late this year. I truly cannot wait.

I have discovered so many food blogs I'm now following through researching this panel and so many amazing resources that I hope to post more about in the coming months. I am looking forward to learning much from these talented folks! (Tip one: Buy your own domain name. Live and learn.)

Shauna James Ahern of Gluten-Free Girl

Zach Brooks of Midtown Lunch

Kalyn Denny of Kalyn's Kitchen

Cathy Erway of Not Eating Out in New York

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Why I'm Happy To Be Single

10 Reasons I'm Happy To Be Single is what my new Dating Drama column for The Frisky is about. And yes, one of them is cause I get to indulge in a little retail therapy.

Remember those gorgeous Objets d'Envy necklaces I told you about? Well, I had been on their site Saturday during the great garlic mac and cheese/peppermint cupcake/gossip session/sleepover that kept me up til 5 a.m. but didn't buy anything, and today I was rewarded by a coupon (holiday20) and free upgrade in shipping! I really can't wait to be all sparkly with them.

I hope that means my necklace will arrive in time to wear with my new dress on Thursday at In The Flesh. If you've been to In The Flesh and liked it, please tell your friends - the winter months are ones when we especially need people.

And I'm still desperate to find someone to tape it, pay is $100 to make 5 videos of 5 readers that basically look like this - two of them I need by Monday morning, the rest can wait til after Christmas - email rachelravenous at with some clips if you can do it, Thursday, 8-10 pm, Happy Ending Lounge, 302 Broome Street. Thanks!

We're also booking all sorts of things - you can win our Cupcakes Take the Cake video contest to come to the set of The Martha Stewart Show on January 14th, I'll be doing several Bay Area events, including readings for Best Sex Writing 2008 January 30th at Good Vibrations Berkeley and February 2nd at Booksmith, and I'm teaching erotic writing on February 12th at the 92nd Street Y Tribeca!

Thankfully after Thursday's reading though I get some much-needed downtime. I hope to even go on some dates, but who knows? I also have, oh, a good mountain of books waiting to be read.

So this is what we made from Emily Farris's awesome cookbook ">Casserole Crazy (based on her blog Casserole Crazy):

Garlic mac and cheese!

All I can say is, we were supposed to have some left over for breakfast and between when I went to sleep and woke up, it all got eaten!

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In The Flesh update/join the Facebook group!

Please Join the Facebook group for In The Flesh updates (you can join my personal monthly newsletter at my website - those go out at the beginning of each month and also have reminders.

Here are the 2009 In The Flesh dates:
January 15, February 19, March 19, April 16, May 21, June 19, July 17, August 21, September 18, October 16, November 20, December 18

So far all I know is February 19th is Susie Bright (rest of lineup to be announced), March 19th is Paula Derrow, editor of the fabulous sex essay collection Behind the Bedroom Door, rest of lineup TBA, and April 16 is Virgin Night, for first time authors and first time readers (newly published authors and those who’ve never read before, or never read erotica before). I definitely need "virgin" readers! Email me at rachelravenous at with a bio and writing sample of what you'd want to read.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Christmas peeps!

I'm shopping with my friend Gloria to make garlic mac and cheese from
Emily Farris's cookbook Casserole Crazy.

First time I'm seeing Christmas Peeps - too cute!

Susie Bright to read February 19th, NOT January 15th

Just a heads up - Susie Bright will now be reading at In The Flesh on February 19th with readers from X: The Erotic Treasury, NOT January 15th, so mark your calendars accordingly. I'll have both lineups for you very soon. In the meantime, there are still 10 red hot reasons to attend this Thursday's reading.

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Friday, December 12, 2008

Is Sex Better When You're in Love?

What do you think? It's for a future column at The Frisky (I actually have almost too many column ideas lately!). If you have something to say (preferably with an anecdote that illustrates it), email me at rachelravenous at and let me know if you want to be anonymous or not, along with your age and your story. Thanks!

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Beautiful necklaces to envy and covet

My friend Felicia Sullivan, author of the memoir The Sky Isn't Visible from Here, (for which she just penned the screenplay!) is awesome.

Last night I couldn't take my eyes off her glittering, gorgeous necklace. She wrote about the jewelry line from Objets d'Envy and has turned me into a fan. A necklace is going to be my holiday gift to, um, me!

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Christmas cookie bukkake in Portland

As you already know, I have a decided interest in bukkake. So I loved that Patrick Alan Coleman at Blogtown, PDX posted about Penny Arcade's Christmas cookie bukkake photo contest! Another reason to crazy heart Portland.

Christmas cookie bukkake

Christmas cookie bukkake

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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Want to earn $100 to tape In The Flesh?

My trusty camerawoman can't make In The Flesh on Thursday the 18th so...I need someone to do our YouTubing. Basically you need to be there from 7:45 to the end (around 10) and then make 5 videos (1 reader won't be taped) with basic info at the front so I can post them. Happy Ending Lounge, 302 Broome Street, NYC. And you get a drink ticket from me.

If you can do this and turn it around by Tuesday the 23rd, and preferably are a friend of a friend or come recommended by someone, that'd be awesome. Email me at rachelravenous at - I pay cash, usually day of but if I don't know you at all, I'll pay on delivery.

It's a Wonderful Orgasm indeed!

I'm thrilled that Violet Blue has chosen to include many of my books (Tasting Him, Tasting Her, Spanked and Dirty Girls) in her San Francisco Chronicle gift guide, called "It's a Wonderful Orgasm." (Love that title!)

I am working on a proper RKB gift guide with everything from gifts for your lover to gifts for little kids and grandparents. For now, I will highly recommend Violet's hot-off-the-press anthology Best Women's Erotica 2009, which I also plug in the January issue of Penthouse in the last minute gift guide. There's a story by Ms. Naughty called "Pasta with Blue Cheese and Anal," which is quite possibly the best erotica story title I've ever heard! Plus it has many of my favorite writers, like Elizabeth Coldwell and Donna George Storey and Vanessa Vaughn. Check it out!

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

My new ring

My new ring
Originally uploaded by Rachel Kramer Bussel
Got it in SF to cheer myself up.

Top 10 Reasons why you want to come to True Sex Confessions Night on December 1t8h

In The Flesh logo by Molly Crabapple

1. True! Sex! Confessions! I mean, doesn't that sound hot enough?

2. Free cupcakes! Free candy! Free chips! Free condoms (courtesy of Rachel Sarah)! Free hot sexy storytelling! (I can't promise the cupcakes will be from Kumquat Cupcakery like the ones below, but they will be yummy for sure.

3. Christen Clifford talks about her parents' sex life December 18th

It's kindof hard to squick me, but I must say, playwright Christen Clifford did with her one woman show (What I Know About) My Parents' Sex Life (or, Fuck Me Like It's 1945). You really must see the whole thing to fully absorb it, but she's gonna do a short excerpt from it for us!

4. Kiki T. reads a True Sex Confession December 18th

Kiki T., astrosexologist - maybe you can find her during the intermission and ask her to read your palm (and, like, buy her a drink while you're at it)

Here's what she said about me this week (I'm a Scorpio):

Negotiations with you and sweetie are going to get tough in many ways. Besides seeing another side to that someone you didn’t think could exist, it’ll also bring out a feeling inside of you that you hate. All in all, an emotionally stressful time that’ll have you needing to spend a lot of money on useless things.

5. Neal Boulton reads at True Sex Confessions Night December 18th

Don't you want to see for yourself why Gawker's always covering Neal Boulton? He was the recent subject of this Page Six Magazine profile (and his wife will be in the audience!). The bisexual editor of Bastard Life is sure to have something juicy to share!

6. Rex Sorgatz knows all about being microfamous, and about, well, the sex lives of the microfamous.

photo by Rachel Sklar via Flickr

7. Rachel Resnick reads at True Sex Confession December 18th

Rachel Resnick is the author of the new memoir Love Junkie, which I adored. You can read more about it at her site, including a Q&A with stuff like:

How do you know if you're a love junkie?

You can tell if you’re a love junkie if you meet someone new, and instead of a spark, you get the whole meteor shower. It’s like you’re shooting up that skin-tingling, electric feeling of love, right into your heart. And “love” wakes you up. Now this could maybe be a sign of chemistry between two people—if you’re healthy. But love junkies aren’t healthy. You’re a love junkie if you have a core of neediness and dependency that’s waiting to grasp onto someone. You want someone to rescue you, take care of you—the way your parents should have (and probably didn’t). You have a big gaping hole that the wind howls through, and that distorts our perceptions of the world and especially of the destructive lovers we choose.


Me! I am not sure exactly what I will share, since I've already read once about having sex without a condom, not to mention my airport hookup tale. I guess it's possible something crazy-hot will happen to me between now and then, but I doubt it. Right now, good money would be on my first caning, which happened on my last trip to London.

9. Mobile Libris will be on hand to sell books like these...and get them signed!

The Celestial Sexpot's Handbook
Cover of Love Junkie by Rachel Resnick

Spanked cover

(Best Sex Writing 2009, which you can read about in the post below, is hot off the press and I'm hoping to have a copy or two on hand.)

10. You can share your own true sex confession and I will read it out loud. I'll be passing out index cards on each table and you just write yours down and turn it in. It's a lot of fun and the craziest things come out of people's mouths!

So do yourself a favor and BE THERE!

December 18th at 8 PM
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET, NYC (look for pink awning that says "health club")
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey or F/V to 2nd Avenue,
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676

Hear the latest round of our popular True Sex Confessions—and share one of your own! Featuring Rachel Resnick (author of the memoir Love Junkie), Neal Boulton (editor of, Kiki T. (astrosexologist for, playwright Christen Clifford (reading from (What I Know About) My Parents’ Sex Life), and blogger Rex Sorgatz ( Hosted and curated by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Dating Drama columnist,, Editor, Best Sex Writing 2009, Spanked). Audience members will have the chance to anonymously share their True Sex Confessions on index cards to be read aloud. Free candy and cupcakes will be served. Books will be for sale from Mobile Libris.

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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Call for Submissions on gay marriage from Cleis Press

Just saw this poking around my publisher Cleis Press's site:

"A Movement Based on Love"
Call for Submissions on Gay and Lesbian Marriage

We at Cleis Press want to take positive action to raise awareness in the wake of the passage of Proposition 8 here in California. To that end, we are publishing a book (quickly!) to educate and inspire readers about this basic civil right. Our book will show many wonderful and moving examples of committed couples and enduring same-sex spouses and families.

Our aim is to send a powerful message to the public about this “movement based on love,” and to further galvanize what we see as the chief civil rights movement today. The proceeds will go to like-minded organizations, such as

We are requesting essays 3000 to 5000 words in length about your personal experiences of same-sex marriage. Did you have a church ceremony? Did the spouses have matching outfits? Was the whole family there? Were you able to legally marry at the time of your wedding? We want to hear from couples who have been through the legal roller coaster of gay and lesbian marriage.

Please send submissions by January 30, 2009 to:

Brenda Knight
Associate Publisher
Cleis Press & Viva Editions
bknight at

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Monday, December 08, 2008

Singledom and breakup sex

So, um, I'm single. I pretty much break it down in my new column about breakup sex. Dating Drama, indeed, no? It's complicated, which is still what my Facebook status says (I meant to include that in the column but I forgot).

And sorry (kinda) to be so shameless but...if you like my column, would love it if you'd repost/comment/rate it at The Frisky. I say that both because, yes, it looks good to my editors if people are talking about it, but also because I get so much out of the sharing and commentary, especially at that site. My unprotected sex column was hotly debated and trust me, I read every comment and keep them in mind, and am always on the lookout for future columns and interviewees. One topic I plan to tackle (suggested by a reader) is: Is Sex Better When You're in Love? And there's much more, since I'm writing weekly. Thank you!

A little update on my day...Flew in on the redeye (again, loved Virgin America and wish I could fly them all the time). Was bittersweet in many ways as I would have loved to stay a little longer. Have been kindof in a fog all day, but I had taken the day off and basked in the sun (and wind) a bit. Was nice to just have a day to chill, now I'm off to a wedding. There shall be photos I'm sure.

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Sunday, December 07, 2008

Bye San Francisco

It was indeed a whirlwind weekend. Too much to encapsulate on my
iPhone at SFO. I saw a Diego Rivera mural and ate burgers and bought a
pretty ring. I met some very cool people and got to see a bit of the
city I hadn't.

Ironically, though, on this visit, where I'm leaving kinda aorta
single, I really wish I had one more night.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Lunch at In-n-Out

We went to Fishermans Wharf and ate at In-n-Out and wandered around.
Food was yummy and it was a gorgeous day. Saw a Diego Rivera mural at
the San Francisco Art Institute and bought some art and there were
even cupcakes for sale.

I heart Virgin America

I'm off on a whirlwind San Francisco weekend, though under 48 hours is
just about perfect for me and that city. Agenda includes In-n-Out
Burger, my friend Phil's birthday dinner, chilling with my boyfriend
and the main event, CupcakeCamp2 ( Almost 1,500
cupcakes are slated to be there!

Making this decision was practically impossible but I hope I chose
well. Will be back for January 29th reading at Books Inc. with Susie

Friday, December 05, 2008

Win a copy of Bedding Down from contributor Kristina Wright

My friend and frequent contributor to my anthologies Kristina Wright is giving away a copy of Bedding Down on her blog! All you have to do is tell her your favorite winter memory.

Here's an excerpt from her novella "One Night in Winter," which opens Bedding Down:,

He worked the knots loose, but he wasn’t gentle about it. She heard a startling rip and was suddenly able to breathe. The relief at being free of the offending garment was countered with dismay.

“Did you have to be so rough?”

“There was a time,” he said, his fingers running up the length of her spine and making her shiver, “when you liked it rough.”

As if her body was detached from her brain, she found herself leaning into his touch. She knew she should pull away, demand he get out and make sure he didn’t touch her for the rest of the weekend, but… she couldn’t. Part of it was because she hadn’t been touched like this—slowly, sensually—in longer than she cared to remember. The other part was simple: as much as she loathed him, she had never been able to forget Derrick.

“You not only liked it rough, you begged for it,” he murmured in her ear as he caught up her long hair in his hand and gave it a firm tug. “Remember?”

She closed her eyes and gasped at the sensation that ran along her scalp and made her weak in the knees. “There are some things I’d rather forget,” she said, hearing the catch in her own voice.
“Not me,” he said. “I remember pulling your hair like this while I fucked you, so deep inside you I thought I’d died and gone to heaven and I didn’t give a damn.”

She couldn’t help herself, she whimpered and moved back against him. His erection was impossible to ignore through the thin material of her dress. She pressed her ass against him, feeling him hard and hot through the layers of clothing.
He groaned and tugged her hair hard. “A month with you wasn’t damn near enough.”

His words were like a splash of cold water in her face. She took a deep breath, reminded herself of why she was here, and pulled away, ignoring the sting in her scalp when he didn’t release her hair immediately. She met her gaze in the mirror and, galvanized, turned to face him—and her past.

“Things have changed, Derrick.”

He arched one cocky eyebrow. “Really?”

She raised her left hand, hating herself while also feeling relieved. “I’m the married one, this time. I take my vows seriously.”

He laughed in disbelief. “I have a hard time believing that the way you whimpered and rubbed against me just now.”

Despite a flush of embarrassment, she remained firm. “Believe it.”

He was staring past her, at her reflection in the mirror. “You’d be more convincing if your dress wasn’t unlaced down to your very sexy ass.”

She fumbled behind her, attempting to hold the fabric together, which only served to make the bodice of her dress slip. “Would you please get out of here?”

He opened his mouth as if to speak, then shook his head. “Whatever you say, Susannah. Just one thing—“


He dipped a finger into her cleavage, setting her skin on fire and causing her to gasp. With a tug of the silky fabric, he pulled her up against him until his erection was pressed at the juncture of her thighs. He stroked the swell of her breasts, rocking his pelvis against her, fucking her through their clothes. He moved his hands lower until his fingers grazed her hard nipples, leaving a trail of heat everywhere he touched her.

She pushed her breasts toward him, nearly out of her mind with desire and oblivious to the fact that her dress had fallen to her waist. Her eyes fluttered closed so she wouldn’t have to gaze at his hungry expression that she knew mirrored her own. Her nipples ached to be pinched and tugged, but he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction she craved; he touched her gently, teasingly.

Her barely controlled arousal flared again and her pulse raced, despite her good intentions. She moaned, and the sound echoed off the mirrored walls of the dressing room. She wrapped her fingers around his wrist and held him to her breast, silently pleading for more.

Read the rest in Bedding Down: A Collection of Winter Erotica

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I am not a sex educator. Pass it on.

I get the people will persist in calling you things that may or may not apply, but I am a writer. And, yes, an editor and a blogger. But one thing I am not and have never purported to be is a sex educator. Just because it's on Wikipedia doesn't mean it's true.

That being said, since my books never get reviewed there (but I hope some future projects will!), I'm thrilled to see my name mentioned in Publishers Weekly. But they are wrong on that count, sorry.

I will have more info on my Ravenous Romance e-book The Lust Chronicles (only $4.99!!) soon, probably next week, or hop on over to my Flickr account (and yes, I know it may be blocked, that's all Flickr, not me, just click through) and see the cover I hated and the one I lobbied for that is now the final cover, plus the Table of Contents.

I'm busy getting ready for my in-and-out trip to San Francisco. That just reminded me that I must make sure to get a burger at In-N-Out. Because I like hamburgers so much I even write erotica about them (and I used to be vegan!).

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Party prettiness

In a word, last night's Cupcakes Take the Cake party rocked. If you missed it, you missed a lot of cupcakes, an insane amount of raffle prizes, a super-packed White Rabbit, me having a drink, and much merriment. Seriously, it was awesome. Huge props to Nichelle Stephens for planning and promoting the whole thing in two weeks! DIY PR all the way - we got listed in Serious Eats, Grub Street, Time Out New York, and, yes, the fantabulous New York Times' UrbanEye newsletter. Join our Meetup group to find out what's happening next.

My cupcake of the day yesterday was an amazing Elvis cupcake (banana cake topped with peanut butter frosting and BACON!). Photos by Stacie Joy.

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Isn't every straight man obsessed with breats?

I almost wrote, isn't everyone? And obviously I'm joking. I know lots of straight guys who are as far from being boobisexuals as possible. As a girl who's, um, well-endowed, I find that fascinating, though in my personal life, I find it annoying. I'm into having my boobs played with, to put it mildly. I do respect it though. In general we tend to treat straight men as monolithic, all liking the exact same fictionalized all-Pamela Anderson world, all the time, and clearly there is great diversity when it comes to men's sexuality. If you do like breasts, straight man or not, check out the Flickr group Cleavage: The Beautiful Divide.

So I was intrigued by this new 32-page comic book The Man Who Loved Breasts by Robert Goodin, out from Top Shelf.

The Man Who Loved Breasts

from Brian Heater's review at The Daily Cross Hatch:

“The Man Who Loved Breasts” proves a surprisingly touching little story. Less fueled by sexual obsession than the title—and cover—might lead one to suspect, the titular man begins the story in a dead-end job typing promotional news letters for a vacuum and sewing company aimed at “housewives out in the suburbs.”

While the sexual overtones are certainly impossible to ignore, it’s the man’s genuine aesthetic affection for breasts combined with a distaste for his mundane employer that lead him to quit his job, experiment with alcoholism, and ultimately open up his own brassiere manufacturing company—all while pressing forth through a number of graphic montages that gleefully reestablish his—and, arguably, Goodin’s—appreciation for the aforementioned body part. The artist also readily embraces the time period in which the story is set, bringing into play the stodgy uniformity of the 50s and the liberating protests of the 60s, ultimately transcending the prurient nature of the story’s title.

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