Oral pleasure: Blowjob kings and queens in my new sex column

My working title for this latest Philadelphia City Paper sex column was "Pleasure In My Mouth: Talking To Blowjob Kings and Queens," which, as you'll see, got changed to "When it comes to sex, don't tell me where to get pleasure". I still like my original so I'm using it here (blog editorial power, yay!). But the point was that in mainstream writing, "blowjob" is all too often equated with women delivering them to men, often just to please them, and I wanted to explore other configurations. Thank you to Raul Queue for a gay male perspective on blowjobs (or as he calls them, "blowjoys") and Sophie Delancey of TheArtofBlowjob.com, who I've quoted before, because I don't want to always be talking about my own sexual favorites.

If you like it, I'd really appreciate you sharing it or liking it at the top of the column. I'm working on columns about topics that are a little more off the beaten path, and welcome column suggestions at rachelkb at gmail.com with "City Paper" in the subject line. I can't promise I'll cover it, but I'm definitely on the hunt for topics I hadn't previously considered.

And I'd be remiss if I didn't also let you know that if you want to read fictional accounts of blowjobs, I've got two great erotica books for you (and a special November BOGO sale where if you buy any of my books from any store, online or off, I'll send you my ebook Sex & Cupcakes: A Juicy Collection of Essays free!).


Going Down: Oral Sex Stories (all kinds of oral fun)
Amazon
Bn.com
Kindle ebook edition
Nook ebook edition
Powell's Books-A-Million
IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore)
Cleis Press
Audible audiobook


Tasting Him: Oral Sex Stories (blowjobs, blowjobs, blowjobs, basically!)

Amazon
Bn.com
Kindle ebook edition
Nook ebook edition
Powell's
Books-A-Million
IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore)
Cleis Press
Audible audiobook

3 oral sex erotica anthologies

For fans of oral sex and hot stories, here are my 3 erotica anthologies on the topic, all in one handy place. I'm putting together my syllabus for my three-hour CatalystCon erotica writing workshop March 14th in Arlington, Virginia and "Queen of Sheba" by Jen Cross from Tasting Her is on the recommended reading list! It's such a wonderful story, one I don't mind rereading over and over because I get something new out of it each time. "Tony Tempo" by Tsaurah Litzky is one of the best portrayals of an older person enjoying sex I've read, and "Prego" by Alison Tyler is about, yes, Prego sauce, and would have fit perfectly in my Bon Appetit food porn roundup. Going Down has the most variety of the three in terms of sex acts and plenty of queer stories, as well as the excellent transgender erotica story "Sucking Casey's Cock" by Shanna Germain, but they are all creative and varied. You can also get an aural sex fix by listening to free samples of each at Audible: Tasting Him, Tasting Her and Going Down.


Tasting Him: Oral Sex Stories

From a distinctly female perspective, lovers — committed and otherwise — explore the many ways oral sex can be an act of love, tenderness, and devotion, or a pure and unabashed sexual act. Readers will revel in the emotion and sensuality of this collection of stories, written by some of today's top erotica writers with the aim of creating full arousal.

Table of contents:

Introduction: The Power and Pleasure of Cocksucking
Gloss by Rachel Kramer Bussel
A Treatise of Human Nature by Robert Peregrine
Quite a Mouthful: Confessions of a Sweet Cocksucker by Tish Andersen
This Just In by Heidi Champa
Blessed Benediction by Radclyffe
How I Learned to Give Good Head by Amanda Earl
Without Eyes by Terri Pray
Tony Tempo by Tsaurah Litzky
A Tongue is Just a Tongue by Michelle Robinson
It’s a Wonderful Blowjob by Simon Sheppard Down on the Beach by Alessia Brio
Getting Used to It by Tenille Brown
Cocksucker by Lori Selke
Prego by Alison Tyler
Equanimity Unbounded by Craig J. Sorensen
Fellatio: A Love Story by Scarlett French
Logic by Jacqueline Applebee
Frosted by Kristina Wright
Long Relief by T. Hitman
Open Wide by Marina Saint
Sketch of a Suckoff by Thomas S. Roche
Sculpted by Shanna Germain
After Dinner Mint by Donna George Storey

Buy from:

Amazon

Kindle (ebook)

Bn.com

Nook (ebook)

Powell's

Books-A-Million

IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore)

iBooks

Google Play

Audible audiobook (click through for free sample listen)

Cleis Press


Tasting Her: Oral Sex Stories

The primal sense of taking in the essence, taste, smell, and sexy up-closeness of a lover is a powerful aphrodisiac that affects one physically, mentally, and emotionally. Once this special connection is made, the heat of desire, passion, and lust focus before one's eyes and tie arousal directly to them. Tasting Her explores the ultimate joys of oral sex from a distinctly male point of view.

Table of contents:

Introduction: Reading Her Lips
Cavanaugh’s Ridge Jeremy Edwards
Snatch Donna George Storey
Teaching Teresa Gwen Masters
Queen of Sheba Jen Cross
Suspension Craig J. Sorensen
Kiss the Cook Giselle Renarde
Happy Hours Adelaide Clark
Spill Alison Tyler
Rain Check Emerald
Treatment for a Tongue Job Thomas S. Roche
The Goth Chick Lisette Ashton
The Vitality of Youth Joanna Christine
Cunnilingus 101 Rachel Kramer Bussel
Read Her Lips Stan Kent
Down There Julia Moore
To the Point Rita Winchester
Hold On, I’m Coming Kristina Wright
Dropping the Hint Drew James Dyer
Pause Sommer Marsden
All about the Girls Shanna Germain
The Dominance of the Tongue Teresa Noelle Roberts


Buy from:

Amazon

Kindle edition (ebook)

Barnes & Noble

Nook (ebook)

Powells

Books-a-Million

iBooks

Google Play

Audible ebook edition (click through for free sample listen)

Cleis Press


Going Down: Oral Sex Stories

When you look back on the best sex you ever had, oral sex will no doubt be a part of the picture. Rachel Kramer Bussel is back with more lip-smackingly superb oral sex erotica for everyone with Going Down. Taking in the essence, taste, smell, and sexy up-closeness of a lover is a powerful aphrodisiac that affects one physically, mentally, and emotionally. Once you have your lover in your mouth, the heat of desire, passion, and lust focus, tying your arousal directly to them. These fictive fellatio stories, sizzling 69ings, and talented tonguing give readers lots of new ideas to try at home. In Going Down, lovers give, receive, and explore the many ways oral sex can be an act of love, tenderness, devotion, or pure sexual joy. Just sit back and enjoy this sexy read of explicit stories to get you hot and bothered with more than a mouthful.

Table of contents:

Pretty Dull Charlotte Stein
Milk Moustache Jacqueline Applebee
Lavender Cynthia Hamilton
Etiquette Sylvia Lowry
Stacked Logan Zachary
Sucking Casey’s Cock Shanna Germain
Getting Something Out of It Annabeth Leong
Bubble Dance Jeremy Edwards
Seriously Jeanette Grey
Shuck It Dusty Horn
Dover to Victoria Station Roxy Rogers
Blush Mary Borsellino
Clean/Dirty Lucy Felthouse
Trimming Tenille Brown
Your Body Is a Temple Neil Gavriel
New Additions Rachel Kramer Bussel
Do You Speak French? Chrissie Bentley
Close Your Eyes Viktoria Michaelis
Snow Job A. M. Hartnett
The Perfect Shade Elizabeth Coldwell
The Thousand and One Ways Graydancer
Buy from:

Amazon

Kindle (ebook)

Bn.com

Nook (ebook)

Powell's

Books-A-Million

IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore)

iBooks

Google Play

Audible audiobook (click through for free sample listen)

Cleis Press

My oral sex and Prince Albert genital piercing story "New Additions" in Going Down

My story "New Additions" is my contribution to my about-to-be-published (like any day) anthology Going Down: Oral Sex Stories. It's not true, but it is inspired by a long-ago night at a Brooklyn bar that I think no longer exists, and a certain piercing. Here's a sneak peek:

New Additions
Rachel Kramer Bussel

“You have to see Derek’s cock,” Rosie whispered into my ear as soon as I sat down next to her in the booth at our local bar. He was up at the bar, and I checked out his faded jeans, the frayed denim showing off what I knew was his firm ass from afternoons around their apartment building’s communal pool.

I’d never seen it in person, but I’d heard all about it and seen a photo of it in one of Rosie’s overeager moments. They are a model couple, and her regaling me with their sexual exploits keeps my workaholic life interesting when I have the occasional dry spell. “What do you mean?” I whispered back, smiling as she placed her hand on my knee. We have a touchy-feely friendship, one that sometimes is a little more on the touchy side. Sometimes we’re best friends who can never get enough gossip, and sometimes we’re so hot for each other that she banishes Derek from the bedroom and we toss each other around and go to town. We’ve danced around the idea of having a threesome, but so far it’s only been talk. “Go ask him. Tell him I said to show it to you.” She raised her finely penciled-in brown eyebrows, as if daring me. I grinned back at her, because I can never resist a dare, which is how the two of us have done things like skinny-dip in multiple hotel pools, upload topless photos of each other to various websites and, once, snorted lines of coke off a B-list celebrity’s cock. It’s not that I’m normally so buttoned-up, but being around her makes me feel like we’re facing our very last day on earth and not living it to its fullest would be a crime. She’s her own kind of drug, and I know when I go out with her there’s no point in saying no. I could, of course, and she’d accept my limits, but when I get together with Rosie, I know that I don’t want to have any limits.

So I stood up, my sheer gray tank top not doing much to disguise my white bra strap. My heels were my true concession to fashion, and my skintight jeans pressing against my pussy made it feel as if I wasn’t wearing panties. The denim sliding against my wet lips made the few steps more fun than they should have been. I sauntered up to the bar just as the bartender poured three glowing blue beverages into martini glasses. “I vant to see your cock,” I said in a poor mockery of a Dracula German accent.

“You want to suck my cock?” he asked, turning around and beaming heat right at me. There’s been a spark between Derek and me since he and Rosie started dating, one we’ve never deliberately discussed, preferring instead to let its glow fuel our separate endeavors. “I don’t know,” I said, letting my voice go soft and sex kitten. “I was just told I’m supposed to see it. What’d you do to it?”

“She didn’t tell you, huh?” he asked, tossing bills onto the bar before raising one of the glasses and bringing it to my lips. His blue eyes, framed by lush, elegant supermodel-worthy lashes, were on me, as I parted my lips and let him pour some of the liquid down my throat.

“I guess not.” I waited for him to share his secret, but he just kept pouring, and I had to swallow in a certain way so as not to let the blue dribble down my throat.

“Shall we?” he asked, grabbing my hand and leading me toward the unisex bathroom. This bar specialized in drinks that start at fifteen dollars, in red-velvet-lined banquettes that were easy to cozy up against.

I took a peek back at Rosie, who smiled at me as I entered the bathroom with Derek. This was something new for all of us, and if they were willing to go with it, so was I.

Read the whole thing in Going Down: Oral Sex Stories.It'll be out this month and you can pre-order it at: Amazon

Kindle (ebook) (pre-order now, on sale May 1)

Bn.com

Nook (ebook) (pre-order now, on sale May 1)

Powell's

Books-A-Million

IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore)

Cleis Press

"Where Have All The Blowjobs Gone?" I respond to Esquire

Over at Open Salon, I've written "Where Have All The Blowjobs Gone? Why Esquire is Wrong" (I would have added "About The Death of Fellatio" but I didn't have room in my title.) Check it out and if you like it I'd love if you'd click "rate" at the top, comment and pass it on!

I'm looking forward to watching this

I don't watch porn very often, but last week while traveling this caught my eye, and magically, Vivid Ed sent it to me before I could buy it. Will definitely blog my review of Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio. As you may know, since I edited the IPPY-award winning Tasting Him: Oral Sex Stories, I have an interest in the topic.

Men love sex, women hate blowjobs, news at 11

Here's what Lisa Rinna said in a recent interview at Momlogic

There's one more thing I want to add about sex: Men love it. They love to get pleasure. It's really that simple. If you want to make your partner happy, then go there! Go there a lot. I'm telling you: Not only will you get whatever you want, you'll almost always have a happy man on your hands (so to speak). I know that giving oral sex turns a lot of you off, but you can get creative with your hands, too, ladies. It's quick and easy; just add a little lotion and voila: happy man! Trust me, it will change your relationship and your life!

Why is it that it's so so often portrayed in mainstream and women's media that giving head is such a turnoff? Why, too, that if that's so, women are just encouraged to do it anyway. I'm not denying that men love sex, but geez...women do too. It's insulting to me both as a woman and a person who loves, in a word, cocksucking, that this is such a common assumption.

It's not that I think all women should share my enthusiasm but it just seems like if we were encouraging, say, men to get involved in making blowjobs more pleasurable for their women and women finding ways to get off, like using a vibrator on themselves while it's going on, their be more happy blowers and blowees.



I'd like to share a tiny snippet from the story "Fellatio: A Love Story" by Scarlett French in my anthology Tasting Him: Oral Sex Stories, which, along with the companion volume Tasting Her, won the 2009 Independent Publisher Award for Erotica, because it perfectly dramatizes the woman who is afraid/mistrustful of/dislikes oral sex, yet comes around, as it were:

Fellatio: A Love Story
Scarlett French

He never asked me to go down on him, not once, even though I know he loved it. He knew how I felt, knew I couldn’t, knew that the messages I’d picked up from porn were that men thought Yeah, suck it bitch. I think I’d even heard those very words usedæand that was in some stupid mainstream film. It wasn’t that I’d had a bad experience, it was simply about the messages I’d picked up from popular culture. We had talked about it. He told me that if a man is disrespectful in his thoughts toward his partner during a blow job, then he’s disrespectful in his thoughts during the missionary position. He told me it’s about the man, not the act. It was a logical argument and I agreed with him in principle but it didn’t change how I felt. So he never asked, never hinted, and he never scrimped on going down on me.

And it was because he never asked, never hinted, and never scrimped, that two years later I found myself in a bookshop one Friday night, holding Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fellatio, skimming its contents. You’ve got to understand two things about me: one, I try to be a fair person, and two, I’m contrary. So, because he kept giving to me all that time, and because he never once tried to make me do what I didn’t want to do, I found myself wanting to confront my negativity about blow jobs. And because these things proved his respect and love for me, I found myself buying that book.

Then later:

His eyes widened as my face approached his hard member. I brought my tongue out slowly and licked my lips deliberately before making that first contact with his shaft. The skin was soft on my tongue. I liked the way it felt. I licked all the way up from the base to the tip. It didn’t taste bad at all, not even the precome, and I’d always been squeamish about tasting come. I kept my tongue out, curved it, and pushed it down the shaft again, then back up. He made a strange sound that was somewhere between a whimper and a growl. His eyes rolled back a bit and I felt a surge of excitement ripple through me. I encircled the head with swirling licks until I felt myself wanting to take his whole cock in my mouthæmuch like when I wanted him in my cunt so bad I’d physically ache. To my surprise, it was with that same urgency, that same desire. I licked the whole shaft, covering it with my saliva. Then I smiled at him, licked my lips, and kept my eyes on his as best I could as I sunk my mouth down over his whole cock, devouring it from tip to base. As I took him all the way into my mouth I felt my pussy surge with wetness, my muscles clenching involuntarily. I breathed through the gag reflex when I felt the tip of his cock in the back of my throat and pushed a little farther still, to get all of him inside my mouth. He moaned from in his gut and his face took on a beatific expression. “Mmmm,” I mumbled, my mouth absolutely full of his cock. I knew the sound would cause subtle vibrations against him, but I also wanted him to know that I liked what I was doing.

If you'd like to check out Violet Blue's oral sex tips on her website, and/or buy her book The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio.

From Violet Blue's description of the book:

In The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio learn an exhaustive catalogue of tips, tricks and techniques with which you can cultivate your own mind-blowing technique. New to fellatio, or want your lover to try it? I provide practical advice for the real world. Find thorough explanations of pleasure-based anatomy and how to get yourself off when your mouth is, er, full. An entire chapter is devoted to the art of “deep throat,” the technique of completely swallowing a man, with solutions to overcoming the gag reflex — and what to do once you’ve got him all the way in. Take your oral techniques further with sexy fellatio games, putting a condom on with your mouth, rimming a man, using oral sex in roleplay and power exchange, how to have a fellatio threesome, dealing with jaw cramp, and more.

John DeVore says blowjobs are overrated

John DeVore, a very funny, smart guy who used to cohost the fabulous DeVore and Diana Show on Maxim Sirius Radio.

He writes this column for The Frisky that is so honest about his take on sex and dating and every time I'm like, "I wish more guys could be as open as that." Seriously. It's called Mind of Man and you should read it. (And yes, I write for and link to The Frisky a lot, but I was a reader before I was a writer for them, and I keep going back because they kick ass. The editors are giving their New Year's Resolutions - funnily enough, one is, no more blowjobs - and they just consistently have kickass content that I'm sad I don't have time to read all of.)

Take his latest, Mouth Love is Meh, which I feel the need to quote extensively but you should SO check out the whole thing. Like, how many guys are gonna stand up and say, "I'm not into blowjobs?" Now, this may be hypocritical of me because I have written that such a man is a dealbreaker for me. But I don't think it's hypocritical, because everyone has their preferences and their interests. I was saying that particular stance was a dealbreaker for me. My point here though is that I love John's writing, and if I get the chance to edit another edition of Best Sex Writing, it's going on the shortlist.

It feels good, sure. But not that good. I can’t get off if she’s all the way down there. I need her eyes, her mouth, her words, to really achieve anything that can reasonably be defined as sexual satisfaction. For the record, feeling sexually “satisfied” is very underrated. That deeply comforting post-coital buzz that can only come when one’s appetite is blissfully sated.

Am I the only dude who feels this way? I mean, I think I am. There are plenty of women who dislike men going down on them, which is something I enjoy doing. That might be hypocritical, but it just is. I don’t really have a sweet tooth, but I enjoy making a mean chocolate pecan pie. There are other things I’d rather do with a lover than getting a “knobber.”

I know what you’re thinking. That this is some clever, douche-tastic ploy to get a blow job. Women are aloof and bashful when it comes to their sexual egos, unlike men. Yes, it’s an example of the unfairness of gender politics. Women are embarrassed by their desires; men flaunt them. But women have huge egos when it comes to pleasing their men. I floated my thoughts for this column past a female friend of mine, that I thought blow jobs were overrated, and her half-joking instinctual response was, “Well, I’ll show you.”

Every woman I have dated has come to the table with her own trademarked methods: some of them the result of experience, some of them experiments to be tossed aside or added to their internal, carnal repertoire. It’s hilarious and utterly endearing. They’ve shown off double-fist techniques, road-tested tongue twirls, tried different rhythms. Some ignore the testicles, some are all about them. I knew a chick who sincerely loved to give head. Her choreography was a well-timed ballet of strokes, deep-throating, tickling, and unparalleled tongue acrobatics. You know that trashy trick when a woman ties a cherry stem into a knot with her mouth? This woman could eat a ball of paper and spit out an origami swan.

I am not criticizing motives here. It is good, and it is right to want to please the person you’re hooking up with. I think men have become more aggressive about giving women head because we’re tired of not being able to satisfy you with penetrative sex. We want to get you off. Nothing is hotter in the known universe than being able to give a woman an eyeball-spinning orgasm. I’m not a jerk about receiving; as a pre-game trifle, it can be fun. But I keep returning to the idea that it is strangely impersonal. There’s not enough give and take, back and forth, and the sweaty exchange of human energies is the entire point, the fun of it all.

Keep reading "Mouth Love is Meh"