Email: rachelkramerbussel at gmail.com



 

Lusty Lady

BLOG OF RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL
Watch me talk about my debut as an author, Sex & Cupcakes: A Juicy Collection of Essays, in this Q&A with my publisher Thought Catalog Books

Monday, February 15, 2010

Men love sex, women hate blowjobs, news at 11

Here's what Lisa Rinna said in a recent interview at Momlogic

There's one more thing I want to add about sex: Men love it. They love to get pleasure. It's really that simple. If you want to make your partner happy, then go there! Go there a lot. I'm telling you: Not only will you get whatever you want, you'll almost always have a happy man on your hands (so to speak). I know that giving oral sex turns a lot of you off, but you can get creative with your hands, too, ladies. It's quick and easy; just add a little lotion and voila: happy man! Trust me, it will change your relationship and your life!

Why is it that it's so so often portrayed in mainstream and women's media that giving head is such a turnoff? Why, too, that if that's so, women are just encouraged to do it anyway. I'm not denying that men love sex, but geez...women do too. It's insulting to me both as a woman and a person who loves, in a word, cocksucking, that this is such a common assumption.

It's not that I think all women should share my enthusiasm but it just seems like if we were encouraging, say, men to get involved in making blowjobs more pleasurable for their women and women finding ways to get off, like using a vibrator on themselves while it's going on, their be more happy blowers and blowees.



I'd like to share a tiny snippet from the story "Fellatio: A Love Story" by Scarlett French in my anthology Tasting Him: Oral Sex Stories, which, along with the companion volume Tasting Her, won the 2009 Independent Publisher Award for Erotica, because it perfectly dramatizes the woman who is afraid/mistrustful of/dislikes oral sex, yet comes around, as it were:

Fellatio: A Love Story
Scarlett French

He never asked me to go down on him, not once, even though I know he loved it. He knew how I felt, knew I couldn’t, knew that the messages I’d picked up from porn were that men thought Yeah, suck it bitch. I think I’d even heard those very words usedæand that was in some stupid mainstream film. It wasn’t that I’d had a bad experience, it was simply about the messages I’d picked up from popular culture. We had talked about it. He told me that if a man is disrespectful in his thoughts toward his partner during a blow job, then he’s disrespectful in his thoughts during the missionary position. He told me it’s about the man, not the act. It was a logical argument and I agreed with him in principle but it didn’t change how I felt. So he never asked, never hinted, and he never scrimped on going down on me.

And it was because he never asked, never hinted, and never scrimped, that two years later I found myself in a bookshop one Friday night, holding Violet Blue’s
Ultimate Guide to Fellatio, skimming its contents. You’ve got to understand two things about me: one, I try to be a fair person, and two, I’m contrary. So, because he kept giving to me all that time, and because he never once tried to make me do what I didn’t want to do, I found myself wanting to confront my negativity about blow jobs. And because these things proved his respect and love for me, I found myself buying that book.

Then later:

His eyes widened as my face approached his hard member. I brought my tongue out slowly and licked my lips deliberately before making that first contact with his shaft. The skin was soft on my tongue. I liked the way it felt. I licked all the way up from the base to the tip. It didn’t taste bad at all, not even the precome, and I’d always been squeamish about tasting come. I kept my tongue out, curved it, and pushed it down the shaft again, then back up. He made a strange sound that was somewhere between a whimper and a growl. His eyes rolled back a bit and I felt a surge of excitement ripple through me. I encircled the head with swirling licks until I felt myself wanting to take his whole cock in my mouthæmuch like when I wanted him in my cunt so bad I’d physically ache. To my surprise, it was with that same urgency, that same desire. I licked the whole shaft, covering it with my saliva. Then I smiled at him, licked my lips, and kept my eyes on his as best I could as I sunk my mouth down over his whole cock, devouring it from tip to base. As I took him all the way into my mouth I felt my pussy surge with wetness, my muscles clenching involuntarily. I breathed through the gag reflex when I felt the tip of his cock in the back of my throat and pushed a little farther still, to get all of him inside my mouth. He moaned from in his gut and his face took on a beatific expression. “Mmmm,” I mumbled, my mouth absolutely full of his cock. I knew the sound would cause subtle vibrations against him, but I also wanted him to know that I liked what I was doing.

If you'd like to check out Violet Blue's oral sex tips on her website, and/or buy her book The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio.

From Violet Blue's description of the book:

In The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio learn an exhaustive catalogue of tips, tricks and techniques with which you can cultivate your own mind-blowing technique. New to fellatio, or want your lover to try it? I provide practical advice for the real world. Find thorough explanations of pleasure-based anatomy and how to get yourself off when your mouth is, er, full. An entire chapter is devoted to the art of “deep throat,” the technique of completely swallowing a man, with solutions to overcoming the gag reflex — and what to do once you’ve got him all the way in. Take your oral techniques further with sexy fellatio games, putting a condom on with your mouth, rimming a man, using oral sex in roleplay and power exchange, how to have a fellatio threesome, dealing with jaw cramp, and more.

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1 Comments:

At February 15, 2010, Anonymous Swedish Lover said...

Ummm... may I just say that I LOVE this blog! I am a married man and I have had my fair share of women go down on me, but my wife doesn't seem to be down with that, so to speak. I need to get her to read that book it looks like.

 

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