Online dating interview at Elle.com: How a queer, kinky single woman uses Tinder, OkCupid and FetLife

This week at Elle.com, I interviewed a single woman who's also queer and kinky about how she uses dating apps and sites like Tinder, OkCupid and FetLife to find people, as well as about coming out, her first girlfriend, dating genderqueer people and taking dating advice from Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari.



Read the full Love, Actually interview archives here and if you're a woman interested in being interviewed anonymously, please email me at ellesexstories at gmail.com and tell me a little about yourself and what you'd like to talk about for Elle.com.

Bisexual erotica ebook readers, Twice the Pleasure is $1.99 through December 4th

Guess what? Cleis Press has put my anthology Twice the Pleasure: Bisexual Women's Erotica on sale for ebook readers for just $1.99 through December 4th. Read more information about the book below, or if you saw "bisexual erotica" and were all "I want that!" you can buy it instantly using the links below.

Kindle

Nook

Google Play

iBooks

Kobo



Hot Bi Babes: A "Both/And" Approach to Bisexual Sex by Rachel Kramer Bussel

Woody Allen once famously said, "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." As a bisexual woman, I can attest that this is not necessarily true. Bisexuality is more than just a math equation, and cannot be so easily categorized or summarized. Identifying as bi, or being attracted to or engaging in sex with a variety of genders, or whatever version of something approximating those states of being, is the theme of this anthology, and in many ways, the term is actually a lot broader than that dual opportunity. This is not a book about choosing "either/or," male or female, or simply one of each. It's not about narrowing gender down to one size fits all, but about expanding our options, to a "both/and" approach to how we view and cultivate our sexuality. It's a welcoming, inclusive definition that welcomes all comers—pun fully intended. I wanted this book, while fictional and focused on the erotic aspects of bisexual women's lives, to explore as wide a swatch of "bisexual" as possible. That means that some of the best stories here don't mention the word "bisexual" at all; they don't have to, because their bi angle, their queerness, is embedded—and bedded—in the story. The characters are living it, rather than identifying with it; the sexual exploration and attraction, the experience and movement, are more important than what anyone wants to call it.

The large majority of the submissions I received for this book were about women having sex with women, which makes sense in the context of a culture that still privileges heterosexual identity over any other kind. Even in an era of so-called lesbian and bisexual chic, there's still plenty of discomfort with the fluidity with which many women view their sexuality. Shifting away from a purely heterosexual mindset forces women to grapple with the ways we differ from mainstream society, even one that is becoming much more open and knowledgeable about the varieties of queer life. The first time we dare to dip our toes—or other bodies parts—into the world of sex with other women is often momentous. Many of us will find the character of Laura, in Nicole Wolfe's opening story, "1% Adaptable," familiar. Laura at first protests Marie's advances, warning her that she's not gay, not bi, until she listens to her body and follows its yearnings. "Laura was shocked that the kiss had surprised her, considering what had just happened between her legs. She let her lips caress Marie’s. She dared to let her tongue out to play. She risked letting her hands tickle Marie’s hips and backside," Wolfe writes. But I didn't want this to simply be a first-time bicurious tentative collection, but a robust one exploring the intimacy of life as a woman interested in men and women.

That's why I wanted stories that asked questions like the ones in Jacqueline Applebee's closing tale, "What I Want, What I Need," when she writes, "I’d been out as a lesbian since I was twenty-three. Why was I suddenly spending time with a straight man? Why was I enjoying it so much? Had I really been a lesbian at all, or had I been lying to myself for the past twenty years?" There are girlfriends and wives, husbands and boyfriends, first dates, threesomes and much more here. There's daring and adventure, women taking risks by stepping outside their comfort zones, whether it's by surrendering to a bodyguard in "The State" by Tahira Iqbal or confronting "The Wife" of a male lover in Kay Jaybee's story, only to be confronted right back. The women you'll read about are attracted to strong women like "The Robber Girl" in Lori Selke's story, and men who surprise them with their sensitivity, such as in my story, "A Little Fun."

There's also kink, if that's what you're looking for. In Cheryl B.'s "The Break," spanking becomes a way for two exes to reconnect and revive the passion between them, while Sinclair Sexsmith takes us inside a gay bar and then home with a boy her protagonist has met there, one who may or may not know her true gender, in "Right Red Flagging." The protagonist of "Seduction Dance," D., is under the watchful eye of her master when she finds a new female plaything for her to command and seduce. Gender is played with, fucked with, and grappled with as well in Giselle Renarde's "Glitter in the Gutter," in which the female partner of a male crossdresser encourages his interest when he fears he's crossed a line and doesn't want to live in the new, judgmental world he's stepped into. Aimee Pearl writes in "Meeting at the Hole in the Wall, "Chivalry is dead, and I want to writhe naked on its grave."

These are celebratory, sexy stories, but, all apologies to Mr. Allen, they are more complex than a view of bisexual simply as "twice as much" offers. I like to think of them as "both/and" stories that, collectively, offer a look at the ways bisexuality, queerness, and lesbianism affect us while recognizing that there's no monolithic "typical bisexual." We are multifaceted, full of desires that can't be contained into a single, simplistic category. We are hungry, horny, mischievous, naughty, provocative, and, yes, curious. We may think we know what we want, only to keep on surprising ourselves just when we think we have it all figured out. We are open to a wide range of sexual possibilities, whether they exist in our heads or beyond. I hope you'll enjoy the 23 stories presented here, and that they serve as erotic catalysts, no matter how you identify.

Table of Contents

What it's like to be a bisexual woman in my new DAME column Shameless Sex

I started a second sex column which debuted at one of my favorite sites, DAME, on Wednesday. It's called Shameless Sex and the first column is called "Why don't people take bisexuality seriously?" Salon just reprinted with the title, "Yes, bisexuality is real."



Please note: DAME is a women's site so I focused on women's experiences, and yes, there is a lot more to bisexuality than I could fit in one column. The good news? I'll be there every other Wednesday and have some great topics coming up, so if you have a suggestion for me for the column, which will be focused on women and sex pretty broadly, email me at rachelkb at gmail.com with "DAME" in the subject line. Also, I quoted some awesome women, so thank you Dorianne Emmerton, Amy Andre and Allison Moon.

I open the column with some lines from Desiree Akhavan's excellent new indie film Appropriate Behavior with a bisexual protagonist (Akhavan wrote, directed and stars in it!), which I encourage you to watch now on iTunes. It had some hilarious lines and just an interesting story line. It was zany but had a heart and dealt with a bisexual woman's drama without being sensationalistic. Here's a great clip of Akhavan interviewed by Janet Mock on her new show So POPular. Here's the trailer:

$2.99 Kindle erotica ebook sale on Fast Girls and Crossdressing

I love when my books go on sale, especially a book like Crossdressing: Erotic Stories that I am very proud of and I think says a lot about queer identities (and even straight ones that don't conform to our culture's ideas about what heterosexuality should look like) but are out of print (publishing powers that be, I'd love it to come back in print after all these years!). For now, though, it's only $2.99 on Kindle through October 31, as is Fast Girls: Erotica for Women on Kindle. Both are ones I highly recommend. More info below on each. And both Crossdressing and Fast Girls are available as Audible audiobooks, both narrated by Lucy Malone!


Fast Girls: Erotica for Women (click here to watch me naked in a bubble bath in the book trailer)

Official blurb, table of contents and introduction:

Fast girls don’t mind being the girl everyone is talking about, as long as all eyes are focused their way. They are wanton, daring, shameless, and bold. Fast Girls celebrates the girl with a reputation, the girl who goes all the way, and the girl who doesn't know how to say "no." Featuring writing by Tristan Taormino, Kayla Perrin, Donna George Storey, D. L. King, Kristina Wright, Saskia Walker, Jacqueline Applebee, Tess Danesi, and others, Fast Girls is a racy, provocative collection of erotica by the cream of the crop of female erotica writers. They take readers on unexpected journeys, from a bedroom with every toy imaginable to a sex club, a communal shower, on set with a personal porn star, and more. These characters revel in their sexual excesses, boldly doing what others only dream about. Race through Fast Girls once, and you will come back again and again.

Table of contents:

Introduction: Fast Is a (Sexy) State of Mind

Temptation Kayla Perrin
Waxing Eloquent Donna George Storey
Five-Minute Porn Star Jacqueline Applebee
Winter, Summer Tristan Taormino
Playing the Market Angela Caperton
Panther Suzanne V. Slate
Communal Saskia Walker
Fireworks Lolita Lopez
Flash! Andrea Dale
Waiting for Beethoven Susie Hara
Confessions of a Kinky Shopaholic Jennifer Peters
Let’s Dance D. L. King
That Girl Cherry Bomb
Oz Isabelle Gray
Married Life Charlotte Stein
Princess Elizabeth Coldwell
Chasing Danger Kristina Wright
Whore Complex Rachel Kramer Bussel
Lessons, Slow and Painful Tess Danesi
Speed Bumps Tenille Brown

Introduction: Fast Is a (Sexy) State of Mind

I like the fast girls best/they do whatever they wanna do.—Sarge, “Fast Girls”

I named this book after a song called “Fast Girls” by an indie pop/rock band called Sarge*. That song is a feisty, punk-rock ode to a hot girl who is captivating in all kinds of ways.

I’m sure you know a girl like that. Or a woman. Or a lady. Or a butch. Or a femme. Or…you get the idea. She’s the kind of babe who takes no prisoners, who owns her life and her sexuality and not only doesn’t apologize for them, makes sure you notice her and what she’s all about.

Two definitions of “fast,” according to Merriam-Webster are “wild” or “sexually promiscuous,” and while that is the seed of what I was angling for here, I didn’t just want to read about slut after slut after slut. I wanted to read about women who in some way defy the conventional norms-whatever those are in this day and age. That doesn’t mean being shocking for shock’s sake, but following their passion, seeking out what it is that they need to be truly pleasured.

What I love about these fast girls is that even as they are bold, daring and dynamic, they have a thing or two to learn about sex and themselves.

Consider Susie Hara’s fifty-one-year-old protagonist in “Waiting for Beethoven” as she gets it on with a younger man. In current pop culture terms, she’s the cougar, the aggressive older woman seeking her sexy prey. But she is actually nervous and uncertain, as well as aroused. “And now there was no point in telling him she wasn’t going to come when she could already feel a wave of pleasure rolling inside her, kind of a pre-coming feeling, but different than usual; she couldn’t really tell what was her clit and what were the walls inside her and what was contracting and what was releasing and then she realized she must be coming because her body had taken over and been taken over in this luscious finger symphony so she just gave in,” writes Hara, in a description of female orgasm that I think will be familiar to many.

In this book, fast is as much a state of mind as a state of motion. It’s not about trying to slut it up to impress anyone, but about finding what works for you. I was intrigued to find that playing with prostitution, or whoring, came up as a theme in many submissions, as did threesomes with one woman and two men. It makes sense that fast would be associated with women who mix cash and sex, as happens in Angela Caperton’s “Playing the Market,” where the new economy mixes with the world’s oldest profession. In my “Whore Complex,” whoredom is more a state of mind, a go-to fantasy that leaps from the bounds of dirty talk to real life with some unusual consequences. There’s also exhibitionism, such as in Jacqueline Applebee’s “Five-Minute Porn Star,” and submission–there’s a lot of very hot female submission and BDSM play in this book.

These girls are fast when they want to be…and slow at other times. They want to crack their lovers’ secret codes, find out what makes them tick, as happens in Charlotte Stein’s “Married Life.” I like this story because the wife is not just passively accepting her humdrum sex life, but she doesn’t want to have an affair or get a divorce. She wants her husband, the man she loves, but she wants him openly, honestly, freely and when they both give a little of themselves and bravely bare their souls, they find true happiness.

These girls don’t give it up for just anyone. Even the ones who get around have a reason for choosing their lovers, and it’s those reasons, those images, that resonate with me. Here’s Tristan Taormino in “Winter, Summer,” rhapsodizing about the woman she’s about to seduce (or perhaps, who’s about to seduce her is more accurate):

She’s the boy I have dreamed about and jerked off to too many times to count. The one who won’t leave my fantasies, who cruises me in my bedroom, who seduced me months ago in another lifetime with her voice, who plays pool and drinks beer, who grabs my ass in crowded bars just to fuck with my boundaries and catch me off guard, who makes my brain get wet and my pussy explode.

Exactly. Though there are women on the prowl here, women who go after younger men, women who pounce, women who pursue, there are others who are excited about being the object of another’s affection, lust and desire. For them, being fast means courting the man or woman (or more than one person) they are searching for.

These fast girls speak to me on many levels. I admire them, respect them, marvel at them, raise my eyebrows at them, want them. But most of all, I’m excited that they’ve broken free of whatever messages we all receive about how a woman is “supposed” to act and instead they are bent on acting however they damn well please. And that’s my personal definition of a fast, not to mention foxy, girl.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City


Crossdressing: Erotic Stories

Official description:

>From femmes who channel Marlene Dietrich in the sexiest of suits to men who love nothing more than the feel silky panties stretched tight against their skin, these characters boldly indulge their fantasies of being a girl — or a guy — for a night. Drag queens get dolled up for a night on the town, a dyke packs a special surprise beneath her dress, and a devoted husband puts his dress-up skills to the ultimate test in this seductive new collection.

And my intro along with the table of contents

Crossing Boundaries and Bending Genders

Crossdressing spans such a wide range of possibilities, erotic and otherwise, that the only thing we can safely say brings the mélange of its practitioners under one umbrella is that they dress (sometimes or all the time) in the clothing of another gender. In an age when gender is becoming increasingly fluid, deconstructed, questioned, and sometimes abandoned, we can begin to see the idea and reality of crossdressing in a new light.

This book focuses on the erotic pleasures of crossdressing, while also touching on the life-changing, mind-melting, earth-shifting experiences that can come from actively playing with one’s gender. For some characters, crossdressing means transgressing, transforming, subverting the rules to enter another body in order to enter another world, literally or figuratively. Sometimes it gives them permission to go where they’d be unwanted otherwise. For other characters, playing with their attire lets their minds create the fantasy creature they’ve always longed to be. It means acting, homecoming, freedom. Sometimes, it’s a fun, risqué adventure, a break from the ordinary, a chance to see what might happen if you slipped into a dress or suited up. Would you be the same person? Would you feel the same? Would you get turned on in the same way? These questions and more get tackled in Crossdressing, though the answers are as varied as we are.

When these characters don the clothes of another gender, or another gender role, they find not just their bodies but their minds altered in powerful ways. What was once forbidden is now acceptable⎯or maybe it’s still taboo but even hotter because of it. When they literally step into someone else’s shoes, their bodies, minds, and libidos can explore passions they might not dare voice otherwise. Whether it’s the bra, panties, and garter tucked away under the charcoal-gray business suit or the bound breasts flattened under a drag king’s snazzy attire, clothes, as more than one character here can attest, do “make the man”⎯or woman, though the person inside those clothes creates his or her power from within as well.

In Stephen Albrow’s “More Than Meets the Eye,” his businessman protagonist has a secret under his suit that’s his private treasure, until he chooses to share it: “My Brooks Brothers shirt is thick enough to cover up my white satin bra and garter belt, but not so thick that I can’t feel the garter belt’s lace trim as I run my fingertip over my abs. Just knowing this little bit of Suzy is there is enough to calm my nerves.” Part of his narrator’s delight is in fooling those around him. Yet revealing Suzy to her special lover is a bold thrill that yields untold rewards, and it’s this push-pull of discovery and secrecy, of flaunting and hiding, of male and female that makes the story come alive.

These stories are not just about crossing genders but about living with the duality of one within the other, mixed together, mingling—the experience of living as one changing how a person lives as the other. Ashley Laine, the sensual, seductive drag queen narrator of Tulsa Brown’s exquisitely rendered “Temporary,” reveals the fear that haunts her at being found out: “When his thick fingers began to creep under my panties, I edged away, afraid to ripple the surface of his fantasy.” Yet she proceeds, risking rejection for the joy of bringing that duality together into her erotic life. You can feel the shivers Rory delivers to her with the words “Oh, girl”—two simple but powerful words that encapsulate the crux of both Brown’s story and this collection as a whole. When these characters⎯men, women, and those in between or neither at all⎯are finally able to be recognized for their chosen selves, the thrill goes far beyond the sexual.

Yet sex, desire, lust, and longing are front and center throughout, even as more complex gender dynamics come into play. In Debra Hyde’s “Just Like a Boy,” we learn that simply turning oneself into a “boy” is not enough for her narrator. She longs to be the boy of her childhood dreams, not “an androgyne in boy’s clothes.” Yet her venture into male territory isn’t only for her but for her lover, Matthias, as well. Hyde draws out the tension in this dominant/submissive relationship, where power gets exerted in twisted, yet intriguing, ways.

The power of uniform gets invoked in Lisabet Sarai’s humorous “Beefeater,” in which a young British woman mocks family⎯and tradition⎯to dress in the garb of the Yeoman Warders guarding the Tower of London. The secrecy of her mission, combined with the defiant naughtiness of their endeavor, had me rooting for them with all the fervor of anyone who’s deliberately disobeyed, half-hoping to get punished.

Crossdressers themselves aren’t the only ones here with a tale to tell. In T. Hitman’s “Higher and Higher,” Pete pretends to be his naughty alter ego, Nate, when he hires Roni, a “dudette” who shows Pete a few tricks as she turns one, worshipping him in ways nobody else ever has. His internal dilemma, caught between sheer arousal and propriety, between who he thinks he should desire and who he actually does, gives us a peek into how those who lust after crossdressers of any variety also struggle to embrace their wants.

In Crossdressing, you’ll find men in panties, butches in dresses, girls looking like boys, drag queens, drag kings, and those who can’t be tidily summed up by their outer appearance. You’ll find men who want to be men, only prettier, and women who don’t have penis envy per se, but don’t always want to be the little lady. In short, you’ll find people across the sexual-orientation spectrum fucking with gender and gender roles⎯and simply fucking.

At one point, looking at herself in the mirror, Brown’s drag queen says, “Some people might call this a fantasy, but it was my deepest truth.” Here you get hot fantasy, fiction, and the kind of truth that really matters, the kind that gets under our skin, under our clothes, under our disguises to a place that speaks to us deep in our erotic souls. Whatever you’re wearing right now (or not), I hope you’ll join me on this tour across stages real and imagined, where the limits of gender-bending are in the eyes of the beholder.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City
April 2007

Foreword by Veronica Vera
Introduction by Rachel Kramer Bussel

Temporary • Tulsa Brown
Just Like a Boy • Debra Hyde
Halloween • Helen Boyd
More Than Meets the Eye • Stephen Albrow
Tough Enough to Wear a Dress • Teresa Noelle Roberts
The Sweetheart of Sigma Queer • Simon Sheppard
Tori’s Secret • Andrea Miller
Like a Girl • Alison Tyler
Michelle, Ma Belle • Marcy Sheiner
Beefeater • Lisabet Sarai
Phone Fatale • Stan Kent
I Need a Man • Andrea Dale
A Cute Idea • Rachel Kramer Bussel
Higher and Higher • T. Hitman
Birthday Girl • Jason Rubis
The Princess on the Rock • Elspeth Potter
Down the Basement • Ryan Field
Some Things Never Change • Melinda Johnson

My interview with Julie Maroh, author of graphic novel Blue Is the Warmest Color

Blue Is the Warmest Color is a graphic novel, originally published in French and out this month from Arsenal Pulp Press, about two women who fall in love, and the movie version is getting a lot of buzz. I interviewed author and artist Julie Maroh at Salon about her artistic process, the sex scenes in the book, feminism, her message for queer youth and more. If you like the interview, I'd love it if you'd spread the word and like it on Facebook. I hope to have more author Q&As coming up soon too, because I'm reading lots of fascinating books.

Buy one get one free ebook offer extended through Monday March 25th at 11:59 pm EST

I decided to extend this offer through Monday night. 2 books for the price of one! I'm having another buy one, get one free ebook sale, since the first one with Serving Him went so well! Here's the deal: From midnight on Friday, March 22nd through 11:59 pm EST Monday March 25th, if you buy the Kindle ebook edition or Nook ebook edition of Twice the Pleasure: Bisexual Women's Erotica, I will send you any of my Kindle or Nook ebooks listed in this paragraph FREE, which includes the just-released ebook of Best Sex Writing 2013, featuring writers like Jonathan Lethem, guest judge Carol Queen, Patrick Califia, Amber Dawn, Madison Young and many others (more about that very soon). You tell me which one, I send it to you as a gift. What you need to do: Forward me your receipt with "BOGO" in the subject line for your purchase of the Nook or Kindle edition of Twice the Pleasure made between midnight March 22nd and 11:59 p.m. March 25th by 9 am EST Tuesday, March 26th and tell me these 3 things: which ebook you want, which format (Kindle or Nook), and what email address to send to (for Kindle, I cannot use an @kindle.com address to gift an ebook). Then I send it to you. I'd love it if you'd spread the word and if there's a book of mine you've been wanting to read, now you can get 2 for $9.99 (Kindle) or $10.68 (Nook) - no, I don't have a thing to do with ebook or online sales pricing. This greatly helps visibility with online stores, especially on Amazon as it can help get the book on their bestseller lists. If this goes well, I plan to do more BOGO ebook sales! Book pick options: Anything for You: Erotica for Kinky Couples, Serving Him: Sexy Stories of Submission, Instruments of Pleasure: Sex Toy Erotica, Caught Looking, Crossdressing, He's on Top, She's on Top, Yes, Sir, Yes, Ma'am, Please, Sir, Please, Ma'am, Rubber Sex, Spanked, Bottoms Up, Cheeky Spanking Stories, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, Going Down, Do Not Disturb, Suite Encounters, The Mile High Club, Peep Show, Fast Girls, Orgasmic, Smooth, Passion, Irresistible, Gotta Have It; 69 Stories of Sudden Sex, Surrender, Obsessed, Women in Lust, Hide and Seek Only You, Best Bondage Erotica 2001, Best Bondage Erotica 2012, Best Bondage Erotica 2013, Best Sex Writing 2008, Best Sex Writing 2009, Best Sex Writing 2010, Best Sex Writing 2012, Best Sex Writing 2013.



Introduction: Hot Bi Babes: A Both/And Approach to Bisexuality

1 Percent Adaptable Nicole Wolfe
The Wife Kay Jaybee
Operetta Jean Roberta
Lifeline Emerald
Goa Dena Hankins
The Robber Girl Lori Selke
The Adulterers Penelope Friday
Sunset Logan Belle
Break Cheryl B.
In the Mirror Valerie Alexander
Glitter in the Gutter Giselle Renarde
Seduction Dance Dorothy Freed
A Little Fun Rachel Kramer Bussel
Trinity Jordana Winters
Meeting at the Hole in the Wall Aimee Pearl
The State Tahira Iqbal
Strange Status Quo Salome Wilde
Walking the Walk Shanna Germain
ReGretable Circumstances Lane
Right-Red Flagging Sinclair Sexsmith
Page of Wands Cheyenne Blue
What I Want, What I Need Jacqueline Applebee

Introduction: Hot Bi Babes: A Both/And Approach to Bisexuality

Woody Allen once famously said, “Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” As a bisexual woman, I can attest that this is not necessarily true. Bisexuality is more than just a math equation and cannot be so easily categorized or summarized. Identifying as bi, or being attracted to or engaging in sex with a variety of genders, or whatever version of something approximating those states of being , is the theme of this anthology, and in many ways, the term is actually a lot broader than that dual opportunity. This is not a book about choosing either/or, male or female, or simply one of each. It’s not about narrowing gender down to one size fits all, but about expanding our options, to a both/and approach to how we view and cultivate our sexuality. It’s a welcoming, inclusive definition that welcomes all comers—pun fully intended.

I wanted this book, while fictional and focused on the erotic aspects of bisexual women’s lives, to explore as wide a swatch of “bisexual” as possible. That means that some of the best stories here don’t mention the word bisexual at all; they don’t have to, because their bi angle, their queerness, is embedded—and bedded—in the story. The characters are living it, rather than identifying with it; the sexual exploration and attraction, the experience and movement, are more important than what anyone wants to call it.

The large majority of the submissions I received for this book were about women having sex with women, which makes sense in the context of a culture that still privileges heterosexual identity over any other kind. Even in an era of so-called lesbian and bisexual chic, there’s still plenty of discomfort with the fluidity with which many women view their sexuality. Shifting away from a purely heterosexual mindset forces women to grapple with the ways we differ from mainstream society, even one that is becoming much more open and knowledgeable about the varieties of queer life. The first time we dare to dip our toes—or other body parts—into the world of sex with other women is often momentous. Many of us will find the character of Laura, in Nicole Wolfe’s opening story, “1 Percent Adaptable,” familiar. Laura at first protests Marie’s advances, warning her that she’s not gay, not bi, until she listens to her body and follows its yearnings. “Laura was shocked that the kiss had surprised her, considering what had just happened between her legs. She let her lips caress Marie’s. She dared to let her tongue out to play. She risked letting her hands tickle Marie’s hips and backside,” Wolfe writes.

But I didn’t want this to simply be a first-time bi-curious tentative collection, but a robust one exploring the intimacy of life as a woman interested in men and women. That’s why I wanted stories that asked questions like the ones in Jacqueline Applebee’s closing tale, “What I Want, What I Need:” “I’d been out as a lesbian since I was twenty-three. Why was I suddenly spending time with a straight man? Why was I enjoying it so much? Had I really been a lesbian at all, or had I been lying to myself for the past twenty years?”

There are girlfriends and wives, husbands and boyfriends, first dates, threesomes and much more here. There’s daring and adventure, women taking risks by stepping outside their comfort zones, whether it’s by surrendering to a bodyguard in “The State,” by Tahira Iqbal, or confronting “The Wife” of a male lover in Kay Jaybee’s story, only to be confronted right back. The women you’ll read about are attracted to strong women like “The Robber Girl” in Lori Selke’s story, and men who surprise them with their sensitivity, as in my story, “A Little Fun.”

There’s also kink, if that’s what you’re looking for. In Cheryl B.’s “The Break,” spanking becomes a way for two exes to reconnect and revive the passion between them, while Sinclair Sexsmith takes us inside a gay bar and then home with a boy her protagonist has met there, one who may or may not know her true gender, in “Right-Red Flagging.” The protagonist of “Seduction Dance” is under the watchful eye of her master when she finds a new female plaything for her to command and seduce. Gender is played with, fucked with, and grappled with as well in Giselle Renarde’s “Glitter in the Gutter,” in which the female partner of a male cross-dresser encourages his interest when he fears he’s crossed a line and doesn’t want to live in the new, judgmental world he’s stepped into. Aimee Pearl writes in “Meeting at the Hole in the Wall, “Chivalry is dead, and I want to writhe naked on its grave.”

These are celebratory, sexy stories, but, all apologies to Mr. Allen, they are more complex than a view of bisexuality simply as “twice as much” to offer. I like to think of them as both/and stories that, collectively, offer a look at the ways bisexuality, queerness and lesbianism affect us while recognizing that there’s no monolithic typical bisexual. We are multifaceted, full of desires that can’t be contained in a single, simplistic category. We are hungry, horny, mischievous, naughty, provocative and, yes, curious. We may think we know what we want, only to keep on surprising ourselves just when we think we have it all figured out. We are open to a wide range of sexual possibilities, whether they exist in our heads or beyond.

I hope you’ll enjoy the twenty-two stories presented here, and that they serve as erotic catalysts, no matter how you identify.

Rachel Kramer Bussel

New York City

48 hour BOGO ebook sale March 22 and 23: buy Twice the Pleasure: Bisexual Women's Erotica and get any of my Cleis Press ebooks free!

BOGO offer extended: I'm having another buy one, get one free ebook sale, since the first one with Serving Him went so well! Here's the deal: From midnight on Friday, March 22nd through 11:59 pm EST Monday March 25th, if you buy the Kindle ebook edition or Nook ebook edition of Twice the Pleasure: Bisexual Women's Erotica, I will send you any of my Kindle or Nook ebooks listed in this paragraph FREE, which includes the just-released ebook of Best Sex Writing 2013, featuring writers like Jonathan Lethem, guest judge Carol Queen, Patrick Califia, Amber Dawn, Madison Young and many others (more about that very soon). You tell me which one, I send it to you as a gift. What you need to do: Forward me your receipt with "BOGO" in the subject line for your purchase of the Nook or Kindle edition of Twice the Pleasure made between midnight March 22nd and 11:59 p.m. March 25th by 9 am EST Tuesday, March 26th and tell me these 3 things: which ebook you want, which format (Kindle or Nook), and what email address to send to (for Kindle, I cannot use an @kindle.com address to gift an ebook). Then I send it to you. I'd love it if you'd spread the word and if there's a book of mine you've been wanting to read, now you can get 2 for $9.99 (Kindle) or $10.68 (Nook) - no, I don't have a thing to do with ebook or online sales pricing. This greatly helps visibility with online stores, especially on Amazon as it can help get the book on their bestseller lists. If this goes well, I plan to do more BOGO ebook sales! Book pick options: Anything for You: Erotica for Kinky Couples, Serving Him: Sexy Stories of Submission, Instruments of Pleasure: Sex Toy Erotica, Caught Looking, Crossdressing, He's on Top, She's on Top, Yes, Sir, Yes, Ma'am, Please, Sir, Please, Ma'am, Rubber Sex, Spanked, Bottoms Up, Cheeky Spanking Stories, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, Going Down, Do Not Disturb, Suite Encounters, The Mile High Club, Peep Show, Fast Girls, Orgasmic, Smooth, Passion, Irresistible, Gotta Have It; 69 Stories of Sudden Sex, Surrender, Obsessed, Women in Lust, Hide and Seek Only You, Best Bondage Erotica 2001, Best Bondage Erotica 2012, Best Bondage Erotica 2013, Best Sex Writing 2008, Best Sex Writing 2009, Best Sex Writing 2010, Best Sex Writing 2012, Best Sex Writing 2013.



Introduction: Hot Bi Babes: A Both/And Approach to Bisexuality

1 Percent Adaptable Nicole Wolfe
The Wife Kay Jaybee
Operetta Jean Roberta
Lifeline Emerald
Goa Dena Hankins
The Robber Girl Lori Selke
The Adulterers Penelope Friday
Sunset Logan Belle
Break Cheryl B.
In the Mirror Valerie Alexander
Glitter in the Gutter Giselle Renarde
Seduction Dance Dorothy Freed
A Little Fun Rachel Kramer Bussel
Trinity Jordana Winters
Meeting at the Hole in the Wall Aimee Pearl
The State Tahira Iqbal
Strange Status Quo Salome Wilde
Walking the Walk Shanna Germain
ReGretable Circumstances Lane
Right-Red Flagging Sinclair Sexsmith
Page of Wands Cheyenne Blue
What I Want, What I Need Jacqueline Applebee

Introduction: Hot Bi Babes: A Both/And Approach to Bisexuality

Woody Allen once famously said, “Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” As a bisexual woman, I can attest that this is not necessarily true. Bisexuality is more than just a math equation and cannot be so easily categorized or summarized. Identifying as bi, or being attracted to or engaging in sex with a variety of genders, or whatever version of something approximating those states of being , is the theme of this anthology, and in many ways, the term is actually a lot broader than that dual opportunity. This is not a book about choosing either/or, male or female, or simply one of each. It’s not about narrowing gender down to one size fits all, but about expanding our options, to a both/and approach to how we view and cultivate our sexuality. It’s a welcoming, inclusive definition that welcomes all comers—pun fully intended.

I wanted this book, while fictional and focused on the erotic aspects of bisexual women’s lives, to explore as wide a swatch of “bisexual” as possible. That means that some of the best stories here don’t mention the word bisexual at all; they don’t have to, because their bi angle, their queerness, is embedded—and bedded—in the story. The characters are living it, rather than identifying with it; the sexual exploration and attraction, the experience and movement, are more important than what anyone wants to call it.

The large majority of the submissions I received for this book were about women having sex with women, which makes sense in the context of a culture that still privileges heterosexual identity over any other kind. Even in an era of so-called lesbian and bisexual chic, there’s still plenty of discomfort with the fluidity with which many women view their sexuality. Shifting away from a purely heterosexual mindset forces women to grapple with the ways we differ from mainstream society, even one that is becoming much more open and knowledgeable about the varieties of queer life. The first time we dare to dip our toes—or other body parts—into the world of sex with other women is often momentous. Many of us will find the character of Laura, in Nicole Wolfe’s opening story, “1 Percent Adaptable,” familiar. Laura at first protests Marie’s advances, warning her that she’s not gay, not bi, until she listens to her body and follows its yearnings. “Laura was shocked that the kiss had surprised her, considering what had just happened between her legs. She let her lips caress Marie’s. She dared to let her tongue out to play. She risked letting her hands tickle Marie’s hips and backside,” Wolfe writes.

But I didn’t want this to simply be a first-time bi-curious tentative collection, but a robust one exploring the intimacy of life as a woman interested in men and women. That’s why I wanted stories that asked questions like the ones in Jacqueline Applebee’s closing tale, “What I Want, What I Need:” “I’d been out as a lesbian since I was twenty-three. Why was I suddenly spending time with a straight man? Why was I enjoying it so much? Had I really been a lesbian at all, or had I been lying to myself for the past twenty years?”

There are girlfriends and wives, husbands and boyfriends, first dates, threesomes and much more here. There’s daring and adventure, women taking risks by stepping outside their comfort zones, whether it’s by surrendering to a bodyguard in “The State,” by Tahira Iqbal, or confronting “The Wife” of a male lover in Kay Jaybee’s story, only to be confronted right back. The women you’ll read about are attracted to strong women like “The Robber Girl” in Lori Selke’s story, and men who surprise them with their sensitivity, as in my story, “A Little Fun.”

There’s also kink, if that’s what you’re looking for. In Cheryl B.’s “The Break,” spanking becomes a way for two exes to reconnect and revive the passion between them, while Sinclair Sexsmith takes us inside a gay bar and then home with a boy her protagonist has met there, one who may or may not know her true gender, in “Right-Red Flagging.” The protagonist of “Seduction Dance” is under the watchful eye of her master when she finds a new female plaything for her to command and seduce. Gender is played with, fucked with, and grappled with as well in Giselle Renarde’s “Glitter in the Gutter,” in which the female partner of a male cross-dresser encourages his interest when he fears he’s crossed a line and doesn’t want to live in the new, judgmental world he’s stepped into. Aimee Pearl writes in “Meeting at the Hole in the Wall, “Chivalry is dead, and I want to writhe naked on its grave.”

These are celebratory, sexy stories, but, all apologies to Mr. Allen, they are more complex than a view of bisexuality simply as “twice as much” to offer. I like to think of them as both/and stories that, collectively, offer a look at the ways bisexuality, queerness and lesbianism affect us while recognizing that there’s no monolithic typical bisexual. We are multifaceted, full of desires that can’t be contained in a single, simplistic category. We are hungry, horny, mischievous, naughty, provocative and, yes, curious. We may think we know what we want, only to keep on surprising ourselves just when we think we have it all figured out. We are open to a wide range of sexual possibilities, whether they exist in our heads or beyond.

I hope you’ll enjoy the twenty-two stories presented here, and that they serve as erotic catalysts, no matter how you identify.

Rachel Kramer Bussel

New York City

Bisexual erotica BOGO in February 2013

A new month, a new BOGO (buy one, get one free) offer, this time for pre-orders of Twice the Pleasure: Bisexual Women's Erotica, which will be out in March and which I'm very excited about! It's my first bisexual erotica collection, and I hope has a little something for everyone. You can pre-order it for (as of today) $10.20 on Amazon and $9.99 on Bn.com . Yes, Kindle and Nook versions will be coming soon, but probably the links won't be up in time for this promotion (that is completely out of my control). So, if you are in the U.S. and pre-order it by February 28th for at 11:59 pm EST, you get your pick of the following of my books, free and autographed (to you or whoever you want): Anything for You, Best Bondage Erotica 2011, Best Bondage Erotica 2012, Best Bondage Erotica 2013, Best Sex Writing 2008, Best Sex Writing 2009, Best Sex Writing 2010, Best Sex Writing 2012, Bottoms Up, Caught Looking, Cheeky Spanking Stories, Do Not Disturb, Fast Girls, Going Down, Gotta Have It, He's on Top, Hide and Seek, Instruments of Pleasure: Sex Toy Erotica (ebook only), Irresistible, The Mile High Club, Obsessed, Only You, Orgasmic, Passion, Peep Show, Please, Ma'am, Please, Sir, Rubber Sex, She's on Top, Smooth, Spanked, Suite Encounters, Surrender, Tasting Her, Tasting Him, Women in Lust, Yes, Ma'am, Yes, Sir. Forward your Bn.com or Amazon.com receipt to biwomenantho at gmail.com with "BOGO" in the subject line and which book you want, your name and address (and if you want the book signed to someone else, their name). And if you want to do a tiny bit of good book karma, please Twice the Pleasure on Amazon (new copy coming soon!). For that you have my immense gratitude! No, I don't have the secret code to Amazon's algorithms, but I know the more likes you have, the better your book's chances of reaching a wider audience. I'm happy to like your book in return, just email me at biwomenantho at gmail.com - thanks!



Table of Contents

Introduction: Hot Bi Babes: A Both/And Approach to Bisexuality
1 Percent Adaptable Nicole Wolfe
The Wife Kay Jaybee
Operetta Jean Roberta
Lifeline Emerald
Goa Dena Hankins
The Robber Girl Lori Selke
The Adulterers Penelope Friday
Sunset Logan Belle
Break Cheryl B.
In the Mirror Valerie Alexander
Glitter in the Gutter Giselle Renarde
Seduction Dance Dorothy Freed
A Little Fun Rachel Kramer Bussel
Trinity Jordana Winters
Meeting at the Hole in the Wall Aimee Pearl
The State Tahira Iqbal
Strange Status Quo Salome Wilde
Walking the Walk Shanna Germain
ReGretable Circumstances
Lane Right-Red Flagging Sinclair Sexsmith
Page of Wands Cheyenne Blue
What I Want, What I Need Jacqueline Applebee

Introduction: Hot Bi Babes: A Both/And Approach to Bisexuality

Woody Allen once famously said, “Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” As a bisexual woman, I can attest that this is not necessarily true. Bisexuality is more than just a math equation and cannot be so easily categorized or summarized. Identifying as bi, or being attracted to or engaging in sex with a variety of genders, or whatever version of something approximating those states of being , is the theme of this anthology, and in many ways, the term is actually a lot broader than that dual opportunity. This is not a book about choosing either/or, male or female, or simply one of each. It’s not about narrowing gender down to one size fits all, but about expanding our options, to a both/and approach to how we view and cultivate our sexuality. It’s a welcoming, inclusive definition that welcomes all comers—pun fully intended.

I wanted this book, while fictional and focused on the erotic aspects of bisexual women’s lives, to explore as wide a swatch of “bisexual” as possible. That means that some of the best stories here don’t mention the word bisexual at all; they don’t have to, because their bi angle, their queerness, is embedded—and bedded—in the story. The characters are living it, rather than identifying with it; the sexual exploration and attraction, the experience and movement, are more important than what anyone wants to call it.

The large majority of the submissions I received for this book were about women having sex with women, which makes sense in the context of a culture that still privileges heterosexual identity over any other kind. Even in an era of so-called lesbian and bisexual chic, there’s still plenty of discomfort with the fluidity with which many women view their sexuality. Shifting away from a purely heterosexual mindset forces women to grapple with the ways we differ from mainstream society, even one that is becoming much more open and knowledgeable about the varieties of queer life. The first time we dare to dip our toes—or other body parts—into the world of sex with other women is often momentous. Many of us will find the character of Laura, in Nicole Wolfe’s opening story, “1 Percent Adaptable,” familiar. Laura at first protests Marie’s advances, warning her that she’s not gay, not bi, until she listens to her body and follows its yearnings. “Laura was shocked that the kiss had surprised her, considering what had just happened between her legs. She let her lips caress Marie’s. She dared to let her tongue out to play. She risked letting her hands tickle Marie’s hips and backside,” Wolfe writes.

But I didn’t want this to simply be a first-time bi-curious tentative collection, but a robust one exploring the intimacy of life as a woman interested in men and women. That’s why I wanted stories that asked questions like the ones in Jacqueline Applebee’s closing tale, “What I Want, What I Need:" “I’d been out as a lesbian since I was twenty-three. Why was I suddenly spending time with a straight man? Why was I enjoying it so much? Had I really been a lesbian at all, or had I been lying to myself for the past twenty years?”

There are girlfriends and wives, husbands and boyfriends, first dates, threesomes and much more here. There’s daring and adventure, women taking risks by stepping outside their comfort zones, whether it’s by surrendering to a bodyguard in “The State" by Tahira Iqbal or confronting “The Wife” of a male lover in Kay Jaybee’s story, only to be confronted right back. The women you’ll read about are attracted to strong women like “The Robber Girl” in Lori Selke’s story, and men who surprise them with their sensitivity, as in my story, “A Little Fun.” There’s also kink, if that’s what you’re looking for. In Cheryl B.’s “The Break,” spanking becomes a way for two exes to reconnect and revive the passion between them, while Sinclair Sexsmith takes us inside a gay bar and then home with a boy her protagonist has met there, one who may or may not know her true gender, in “Right-Red Flagging.” The protagonist of “Seduction Dance” is under the watchful eye of her master when she finds a new female plaything for her to command and seduce. Gender is played with, fucked with, and grappled with as well in Giselle Renarde’s “Glitter in the Gutter,” in which the female partner of a male cross-dresser encourages his interest when he fears he’s crossed a line and doesn’t want to live in the new, judgmental world he’s stepped into. Aimee Pearl writes in “Meeting at the Hole in the Wall, “Chivalry is dead, and I want to writhe naked on its grave.”

These are celebratory, sexy stories, but, all apologies to Mr. Allen, they are more complex than a view of bisexuality simply as “twice as much” to offer. I like to think of them as both/and stories that, collectively, offer a look at the ways bisexuality, queerness and lesbianism affect us while recognizing that there’s no monolithic typical bisexual. We are multifaceted, full of desires that can’t be contained in a single, simplistic category. We are hungry, horny, mischievous, naughty, provocative and, yes, curious. We may think we know what we want, only to keep on surprising ourselves just when we think we have it all figured out. We are open to a wide range of sexual possibilities, whether they exist in our heads or beyond.

I hope you’ll enjoy the twenty-two stories presented here, and that they serve as erotic catalysts, no matter how you identify.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City

Bisexual cupcake enthusiast interviewed at Autostraddle

Thank you so much to Chloe at the awesome, bookmark worthy queery smart sexy site Autostraddle for interviewing me for NSFW Sunday! This is how it starts: "." Read the whole thing!



From the interview:

Bondage specifically is a really interesting topic. First of all, you can incorporate so many different material items. You can pretty much tie someone up with anything, so as erotica, I think that’s interesting. And the other part — what I’m most interested in, both personally and in writing — is the psychological side. Bondage especially lends itself to writing about the kinds of reasons that people want to be restrained or want to restrain someone else. When people can do that really well, it speaks to people who are into bondage, but it also speaks to a wider meaning, because it taps into so much more than just our sexual side — it taps into ideas about power and giving up power and who you’re willing to do that for and why.

The Advocate calls Best Sex Writing 2012 a "must-read book"

Look what The Advocate said about Best Sex Writing 2012! I'm finalizing the West Coast tour dates very soon. Excited!

Best Sex Writing 2012 Edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, selected and introduced by Susie Bright This is no collection of erotic fiction but rather a presentation of year's most challenging and provocative nonfiction essays on all things sex. Bright writes in the foreword, "We're here to reveal the well-sharpened pitchforks of sexual hypocrisy," and the book does just that with sources as diverse as Salon, The Village Voice, Newsweek, and The Chronology of Water. Nearly every piece is excellent, but some are clearly heads above others: Thomas Roche's look at the biased science around anti–sex work studies, Camille Dodero's "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks," and gay former soldier Tim Elhajj's "An Unfortunate Discharge Early in My Naval Career" chief among them. A must-read book, regardless of what kind of sex you like. ($16, Cleis Press)

What readers are saying about Best Sex Writing 2012

The reviews are in and I figured I'd let you take their word for what's inside Best Sex Writing 2012 (click to read my introduction), aka the book of mine I'm most proud of and think is, ahem, the best. I know that's totally subject but I'm just super excited about this book and the readings we're planning - so far on tap are readings in Portland, Oregon and Seattle and San Francisco and NYC. Also stay tuned for more contributor videos (I'm working on those) and in non-Best Sex Writing news, I'll be in Milwaukee doing an erotic writing workshop February 9th.

And thanks to everyone who participated in the BOGO offer! Stay tuned for more special offers.

But what I wanted to share were these reviews, which I think get at the heart of what the book's all about:

Five Stars - Fascinating, Engaging, Thorough, January 6, 2012
By mjims
This review is from: Best Sex Writing 2012: The State of Today's Sexual Culture (Paperback) The 2012 edition of "Best Sex Writing" is one of the most thorough compilations of journalistic writing I have ever encountered. Rachel Kramer Bussel and Susie Bright have done an excellent job of selecting pieces that address the year's most newsworthy events, as well as issues that I knew nothing about until I read this collection. Pieces that I was surprised to find in this collection (and are well worth reading) in particular were: a discussion of a ballot initiative to ban circumcision in San Francisco; a thorough examination of the John Ensign sex scandal, and the involvement of current presidential candidate Rick Santorum therein; an article comparing and seeking out the correct definitions of `premature ejaculation'; a fascination explanation of conflicting age of consent and child pornography laws. The list goes on and on. Also included are a large number of personal essays, both humorous and profound. Among them are an open letter to butch lesbians from the point of view of a femme, a touching treatment of sex at 66 years old, and a user's manual for a particularly complicated penis.

This collection is essential reading for anyone interested in the current state of the American sexual landscape. I cannot recommend it highly enough. It is worth reading cover to cover; every piece in this book has something to offer for the curious and open-minded.

Provacative, bold, and well-curated, January 5, 2012
By Victoria Bloom
This review is from: Best Sex Writing 2012: The State of Today's Sexual Culture (Paperback) Erotic writer and anthology megaeditor Rachel Bussel and smart-ass sex activist Susie Bright have pulled together an intelligent, spirited, and thought-provoking collection of political and personal essays about sex in America today that makes you want to read in a private place. Not because you are embarrassed to read a sex book in public or because you're going to be aroused, but because you're going to want to talk back out loud to the strong-voiced authors of these no holds barred commentaries, either to yell "Hell, yeah" (for me, that was Camille Dodero's "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks"), argue back with the author (Marty Klein's "Criminalizing Circumcision"), cry a little (Joan Price's "Grief, Resilience, and my 66th Birthday Gift"), or just giggle outrageously (Susie Bright's "Why Lying About Monogamy Matters"). Tough topics like rape, sex work, queerness, STIs, sex and the military, and statutory rape get unapologetic coverage here, and though you won't agree with everything you read here, you'll certainly find that each and every essayist has been eloquent about saying their piece. Overall, an excellent collection, and worthy of the title "Best Sex Writing". I'll follow this series in the future!

Intelligent and Satisfying Writing about Sex (At Last!), January 4, 2012
By Donna G. Storey "writer and Japan scholar"
It seems every headline you see online or in the grocery store is a sexual come-on, promising the top ten secrets for superstud bedroom techniques or the inside scoop on the latest Hollywood nanny sex scandal. Invariably these articles fail to deliver anything but shallow clichés, leaving me to wonder why I wasted my time. Best Sex Writing 2012 is different. I could barely put the book down, and its power still lingers. The articles always made me think and often brought me to tears. Just as promised, the editors' wide variety of offerings--from humorous to poignant to fiery truth-telling--brilliantly reflect the complexity of sexuality today. And like all the best writing, these articles allowed me to empathize with people whose experiences are different from my own, yet also realize that these issues directly impact me. Joan Price's powerful memoir about the vitality of sex in our later years should be an inspiration to us all as we grow older. Hugo Schwyzer's unforgettable piece on the male desire to be wanted brought a new understanding of how both sexes are deprived of full personhood in our current sexual climate--and resulted in a very touching conversation with my husband. The fascinating variety of male desire, the dangers of shoddy journalism, the horrifying injustice around sexuality in our legal system, it's all here. I could go on and on with examples, but I'll conclude by saying I was very, very glad I read this book and would recommend it highly to anyone craving a thoughtful, provocative treatment of sexuality in our time.

sexy, powerful, hilarious & thought-provoking, January 3, 2012
By J. Kelley (Macon, Georgia)
I could not get enough of this book: exceptional writing, intimate conversations, and mind-expanding viewpoints on familiar controversial topics. A lot of sex scandals break all the time ... we're used to them by now. But these stories explain how the emotional hype and judgment over sex scandals keeps everyone from exploring sexuality safely and pleasurably. And in between serious stories about political cover-ups, careless and criminal language used in reporting, and criminalizing teen sexuality, there are stories that make you laugh, smile, feel sexy and dream about how great sex can be. Adrian Colesberry's piece is NOT to be missed. And "Love Grenade" by Lidia Yuknavitch was probably the hottest story I've read all year.

This anthology opens the door for more honest discussions around sexuality -- if we could talk more about the emotions, laws & the gray areas of sexuality, it wouldn't be so easy to judge & criminalize any part of sex that scares people.

Impressive collection of the year's best, December 31, 2011
By Robert T Bakie
Typically, I'm much more of reader of stories of sex (erotica anthologies) than stories about sex, but I've really enjoyed Best Sex Writing 2012 as evidenced by last night's speed read through it.

I guess I like to focus on the happy side of sex, without worrying about how someone's hang-ups somewhere are making someone's else's life miserable and so on. That's a pretty short-sighted view, I'll admit, and this book has plenty of content that doesn't fit that view at all. From the funny and honest "Adrian's Penis: Care and Handling by Adrian Colesberry" to Rachel Kramer Bussel's story on Sexting, it covers a lot of ground. Some stuff I'd caught as the year went on and some I'd missed out entirely.

Basically, it's a great book if you're any kind of sex geek, which, apparently, I am. :)

Eye-catching, informative, funny, entertaining, and sexy...best writing indeed, December 29, 2011
By Sam Chupp "sambearpoet"
This review is from: Best Sex Writing 2012: The State of Today's Sexual Culture (Paperback) I tend to read collections such as this in a non-linear format, thumbing through the book until something catches my eye. Well, every piece featured in this book edited by Rachel Kramer Bussell and selected by Susie Bright has its own eye-catching hook. My empathy was aroused reading Amber Dawn's butch/femme memoir in "To All The Butches I Loved Between 1995 and 2005: An Open Letter about Selling Sex, Selling Out, and Soldiering On," realizing that I have heard similar regrets from vanilla, straight folk. The cold terror of a pre-Don't Ask, Don't Tell Navy was made clear in "An Unfortunate Discharge Early in my Naval Career" by Tim Elhajj - which just makes me even more glad for DADT's repeal. There are humorous pieces as well: Love Grenade by Lidia Yuknavitch made me laugh at its sheer honesty and ebuillience about young lesbian road trips, Adrian's Penis: Care and Handling by Adrian Colesberry was gentle and sweet and funny in a sympathetic manner. There are topical pieces, explications of complex subjects like elder sex and child pornography and writings of slices of life in the Latina Drag community and the New York Meat Packing District gay leather community.

I enjoyed reading the work of so many curated for my attention and I am now left wishing it were 2012 and I could start to read the best of 2013.

A sexy, cute and thoroughly engaging read!, December 29, 2011
By Patrick M. Whitehurst "Whitehurst"
This review is from: Best Sex Writing 2012: The State of Today's Sexual Culture (Paperback) Rachel Kramer Bussel gauges hot blood with the accuracy of a thermometer. She's edited more sexy anthologies than almost anyone in the erotic literary scene. And she proves herself a true queen of the sexual word with her non-fiction effort - a smart collaboration with famed erotic author and "sex politician" Susie Bright. Bright chose the journalistic stories collected in the volume and penned a laugh out loud introduction that helps set the tone of the book. "Best Sex Writing 2012" counts as a marker in the world's sexual evolution, indicating the flavor and tempo of the planet's lustful ambitions at this particular point in history. Containing a number of non-fiction stories, some humorous, some sad, many sexy, the book ramps up society's sexual discourse to a new level, beginning with Amanda Marcotte's take on the SlutWalk and ending with Kevin Sampsell's hilarious "Pottymouth," the collection covers everything from transgender latinas, political sex scandals, religion and sex, dating with STDs and much more. I thought it would take me at least a week, with a rum and Coke in hand, to read the book. Instead it took only two nights. Lots of hot fun here.



Order Best Sex Writing 2012:

Amazon

Kindle (out January 10th - pre-order now)

BN.com

Nook (out January 17th - pre-order now)

Powell's

Books-a-Million

IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore

Cleis Press

Sex Diary

This week's sex diary (details at the bottom on how to apply to be a diarist): "The Queer San Francisco Woman Having Group Sex in New York"

I loved that I saw the URL first in my "Hitachi Magic Wand" Google Alert!

Sample comment: "Is my vagina supposed to hurt after reading this?"

New column: "I'm Still Bisexual Even Though I'm Dating a Guy"

The more I type that column title, the more "duh" and obvious it sounds but still, it was something I felt was worth writing about. I'm always casting about for new column topics - one will definitely deal with Joan Price and her new book Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex and elder sexuality. Maybe I can find something in London to write about! Still working on my Weinergate kinky sexting essay which I might just blog instead of going through the pitching rigamarole.



In some ways, my embrace of bisexual is also about a rejection of heteronormativity, of all the parts of straightness that feel oppressive to me. Yes, there are privileges accorded to straight people, but I feel there are also burdens; it’s assumed that you want to get married and become a parent and be monogamous. Stepping outside any of those roles messes with the dominant culture’s plans for you. I’d like to think being part of the LGBT community has made me more open and empathetic, and showed me how people are, in fact, so much more than any label.

What’s interesting to me is that this title, bisexual, is important to me, It's something I feel I carry no matter who I’m dating, or not dating, whereas “poly” and “kinky” are not intrinsic parts of my identity. They are things I have been at various times in my life, or rather, my relationships have been. Bisexuality is different for me, perhaps because it feels more primal than either being poly or kinky — not that they need to be pitted against each other. I used to struggle with the word “bisexual” because it implies there are only two sexes or genders, which is not something I believe, but it’s a shorthand that, in general, works for me.

My bisexuality has also played itself out in almost all of my relationships in some form. Often the form it takes is in talking dirty, and sometimes it’s gone beyond that. One girlfriend, who was pretty much exclusively into women, indulged my interest in a male friend of ours with a threesome. With most of the straight men I’ve dated, not surprisingly, they’ve been interested in fantasizing aloud about me with another woman or hearing about my own fantasies. I certainly feel freer when I have a boyfriend sharing my fantasies about women, real or imagined, than I do about other men.

Read the whole column (and if you like it, I'd love it if you'd "like" it on Facebook at the top and/or tweet, blog, etc. - all that really helps!)

Check out the amazing lineup for Take Me There: Trans and Queer Erotica edited by Tristan Taormino

Editor Tristan Taormino posted the author lineup for her fall anthology Take Take Me There: Trans and Queer Erotica, and wrote:

In mainstream media, the erotic identities, sex lives, and fantasies of transgender and genderqueer people are often oversimplified, sensationalized, or invisible. Take Me There is an erotica collection unlike any other that celebrates the pleasure, heat, and diversity of transgender and genderqueer sexualities. The power of seeing and being seen is a central theme in the anthology; it’s not simply about passing or not passing (an idea often explored with transgender characters), but about being acknowledged and desired in a sexual context.

The book takes you from San Francisco to Israel, from heartache to lust, from stranger sex to a 10 year anniversary, from ballet shoes to butt plug bondage tables, from fumbling teenagers to leatherclad bears, from MTF and FTM—and in between and beyond.

This year and last I've hit a lot of stumbling blocks with my writing, and for a long time erotica was absolved from those blocks, but lately, that's not the case. I've had lots of books I wanted to submit to and just didn't get to finish my stories and that makes me disappointed. However, this story I'm very excited about and think it pushed me into new territory. I have another gay male erotica story coming out this fall, "Stripped," about, yes, a crossdressing stripper, but that one has some humor (and a little edge, since it's set at a frat party, and indeed is in the book Frat Boys). My point is, though, that "Punching Bag" isn't humorous; it's intense, and, I hope, powerful, the kind of story I want to keep writing, because to me BDSM is intense and powerful, no matter the gender of the people involved. I'll post another excerpt closer to the pub date, but for now, please do consider pre-ordering it. I'm linking to Amazon but you can pre-order it from any bookstore.

Here are the first two paragraphs of my story "Punching Bag:"

Kyle still wasn’t sure, two years in, if he liked punching or being punched better, on or off the ring. All he knew was that boxing made him feel alive, lit up, excited, manly…and had even when he was a woman. He’d started lurking around the gym when he’d been Kim, binding his breasts, mostly using the inert punching bags. He was afraid of hitting another woman, but he wouldn’t be afraid of hitting the block of muscle in a man’s chest. He didn’t even need anyone else, at first, to get that special high, one he’d never gotten from running or swimming or tennis.

There’s an energy to a boxing ring that he had never experienced in any other sport, not even wrestling. This was pure, raw aggression, tempered only by the rules of the game and sometimes not even that. It made grown men and women drop all pretense and simply get down to the business at hand, and he liked the way it sliced away every false veneer society put on his shoulders until it was just his mind and his fists, working in concert.



I’m proud and honored to be part of this book, not just because it features a who’s who of queer erotica, but because I feel like I tried something new for me and pushed myself with my trans male gay erotic boxing story “Punching Bag” and am very pleased with the result. This is one I will devour the minute I get my contributor copies! More on it closer to the pub date. Tristan published my very first erotica story, “Monica and Me” (as did Shar Rednour), and I will always remember and treasure that.

Tristan also wrote on Facebook that if this does well, there’s the possibility of turning it into a series, so please remember that when you are buying holiday gifts or looking for your next erotic book purchase. If you know you’ll want to read it, pre-ordering this book (or any book) helps get its numbers up and means wherever you pre-order it from knows there’s a fan base and is more likely to stock more of it!

Bluestockings' Sexy Pride Erotica reading was a success!

Many thanks to Brooke at Bluestockings for inviting me to read there. The store is awesome; there were so many books I coveted, but I settled on Ariel Schrag's amazing senior year of high school in comic form Likewise and a copy of $pread magazine.


I bought 100 mini cupcakes from Baked by Melissa for the reading and they were a huge hit, plus I heard about two new (to me) places to get cupcakes, in Queens and Brooklyn.


Bluestockings had a fabulous selection of my and the readers' books


Sinclair Sexsmith read hot poetry (and has a chapbook for sale)


Charlie Vazquez read a hot gay erotica story about street baseball from Fast Balls: Erotic Stories About America's Favorite Pastime


Kathleen Warnock read about old friends who share a very steamy phone call


Bevin Branlandingham read about fisting in the woods (sorry about the blurriness)

Thanks to everyone who came out!

I read my story "Fist First" from Up All Night: Adventures in Lesbian Sex, my very first book (and it shows) from back in 2004. I had brought two other potential stories, but when I saw the book there, I decided to read that. That story is pretty old, and took place in, I think, 2001, but still held up. One woman told me afterward that she related, which made me feel like it had done its job.

It was so strange to see it in the store. I don't blog about it much because I was very naïve and took a $1,000 flat fee from Alyson to co-edit the book with Stacy Bias (though in reality, I did almost all, if not all, the selecting and editing). It was presented to me as a done deal (Stacy had signed her contract that way). In retrospect, I'd be thousands of dollars better off had I taken no advance and asked for royalties, but I didn't know back then. I also have no idea how it's sold...because I don't get royalty statements, though a few years ago I had someone check on Bookscan and had heard via word of mouth that it was doing well.

The point is, I'm so glad I know better now, and that Cleis Press would never think of asking me to edit books for no royalties. (I do get royalties for my Alyson anthology First-Timers, and would on the Fetish Chest series of Ultimate Undies, Sexiest Soles and Secret Slaves...if anyone had bought them. Oh well.) That's why I like editing anthologies, because even if you mess up, there is always a next time, a chance to figure out what went wrong, sales or marketing or topic-wise, and do better.

And even though I only got that measly $1,000, having that book become a Lambda Literary Award finalist and just having it out there helped put me on the map as an erotica editor and get me other gigs, so in many ways, it was worth it, but is a shame and I wouldn't recommend anyone agree to those terms unless it's strictly a work-for-hire type thing, or you don't expect it to sell, or whatever. Also, having someone advise you in those situations (not necessarily an agent for $1,000, that also doesn't really make financial sense), but someone to look things over and point out anything you may have missed in the contract, is probably a good idea too. Said all in hindsight, of course.

I'm working on finalizing a date for a fall reading at WORD in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, and would love to teach Erotica 101 in NYC again, if I can find a host. I'm reading at Charlie Vazquez's PANIC! reading series at Nowhere Bar (14th Street between 1st and 2nd) on August 26th too.

100 free cupcakes at my Bluestockings reading TONIGHT!

photo by Stacie Joy

Tuesday, June 23, 7 pm - 8:30 pm, FREE!
SEXY PRIDE EROTICA READING
Erotica editor and author Rachel Kramer Bussel (First-Timers, Glamour Girls, Up All Night) brings you a very special sexy Pride reading!
100 mini cupcakes from Baked by Melissa (http://www.bakedbymelissa.net) will be served.

True stories and hot queer erotica from the city’s boldest, naughtiest writers. Featuring Bevin Branlandingham (Femmecast, Gayety), Sinclair Sexsmith (Sugarbutch.net), Charlie Vazquez (PANIC! reading series), Kathleen Warnock (Drunken! Careening! Writers!), Xan West (Hurts So Good, Best SM Erotica 2). Free cupcakes will be served and authors' books will be for sale.
Bluestockings Bookstore, 72 Allen Street, NYC
http://www.bluestockings.com
Email rachelkramerbussel at gmail.com if you have any questions.

100 free cupcakes at Tuesday's Sexy Pride Erotica Reading

photo by Stacie Joy

Tuesday, June 23, 7 pm - 8:30 pm, FREE!
SEXY PRIDE EROTICA READING
Erotica editor and author Rachel Kramer Bussel (First-Timers, Glamour Girls, Up All Night) brings you a very special sexy Pride reading!
100 mini cupcakes from Baked by Melissa (http://www.bakedbymelissa.net) will be served.

True stories and hot queer erotica from the city’s boldest, naughtiest writers. Featuring Bevin Branlandingham (Femmecast, Gayety), Sinclair Sexsmith (Sugarbutch.net), Charlie Vazquez (PANIC! reading series), Kathleen Warnock (Drunken! Careening! Writers!), Xan West (Hurts So Good, Best SM Erotica 2). Free cupcakes will be served and authors' books will be for sale.
Bluestockings Bookstore, 72 Allen Street, NYC
http://www.bluestockings.com
Email rachelkramerbussel at gmail.com if you have any questions.

Market cracking: Best Gay Erotica 2010

I couldn't be more excited to have a story coming out (ha!) in Best Gay Erotica 2010.

I will never forget seeing my very first anthology inclusion, in Best Lesbian Erotica 2001, in a bookstore. I teared up. It was very exciting. Almost ten years later, I am still trying to push myself as an erotica writer, to go new places with my stories, to go deeper, darker, less light, like that first one, "Monica and Me," more serious. Personal, sometimes, yes, but also so not about me at all, like this story. And breaking into new markets, like this, and Black Lace, means the world to me. It means I've evolved, that I'm not just writing the same story over and over again, which I feared I was doing for a while. I'm so honored to be included with such stellar company, and thank editor Richard Labonté and guest judge Blair Mastbaum for deeming my story "Better Late Than Never" (with a bisexual, or at least, divorced from a woman, protagonist) worthy of inclusion. I'll share a preview of my story closer to the pub date in December.

Here's the Table of Contents:

Foreword Richard Labonté

Introduction: Really, It’s All You, and All Natural Blair Mastbaum

Holiday from Love Hank Fenwick

The Hippie Down-Low Natty Soltesz

The Stray David May

I Wish Richard Hennebert

The Suburban Boy Simon Sheppard

“fifteen minutes naked” Jimmy Hamada

A Beautiful Face Robert Patrick

We Messed Around at the El Camino Motel Shane Allison

Cell 13 Tommy Lee “Doc” Boggs

Better Late Than Never Rachel Kramer Bussel

The Boy in the Middle Thom Wolf

Frazzled Trebor Healey

Under the Rushes David Holly

8 Beautiful Boys 8: The Follies Revisited Jamie Freeman

Smoke and Semen Jeff Mann

Colin and Gregory: 1956 Jonathan Kemp

The Bed from Craigslist Rob Wolfsham

The Stuffed Turkey Jan Vander Laenen

Mile Hi Hotel and must-read queer art/life in America blog

photo by Molly Landreth, used by permission, from Embodiment: A Portrait of Queer Life in America

How gorgeous is this photo? It's from a blog you must, must bookmark ASAP.

Molly Landreth and Amelia Tovey are touring America looking at queer life. I saw this and fell in love with the photo above, and Molly said I could post it. Then I looked at the actual post and saw it's the Mile Hi Hotel! How perfect - combining my love for hotels and the mile high club.

Here's how they describe their art project, Embodiment: A Portrait of Queer Life in America:

WE are 2 girls on the road for 1 month, creating a portrait of what it means to be GLBTTQ(Queer) in America today. To see portraits from the work in progress click HERE!
We're on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter!

And guess what? You can participate! Send them a postcard or a story - see the right-hand side of their blog for details. In the meantime, Molly, great photo - it makes me want to go there!

And if the name Landreth is familiar to you, I found this blog via of Kumquat Cupcakery on Twitter. I heart Kumquat. These are the mini cupcakes I tried yesterday at the beautiful Fort Greene flea market - peanut butter banana honey was amazing! See Cupcakes Take the Cake coverage of Kumquat Cupcakery.

Free sex toys at GLBT Erotica Night June 18th

All of the above sex toys, courtesy of Good Vibrations, will be given away, along with queer erotica from Cleis Press and e-book gift cards from Ravenous Romance.



IN THE FLESH EROTIC READING SERIES
3rd ANNUAL GLBT EROTICA NIGHT
June 18th at 8 PM (doors at 7; we recommend arriving by 7:30 for a seat)
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET, NYC
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey or F/V to 2nd Avenue, http://www.happyendinglounge.com)
Between Forsyth & Eldridge. Look for the hot pink awning that says "XIE HE Health Club."
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676
http://inthefleshreadingseries.blogspot.com

In The Flesh celebrates Pride with our 3rd annual GLBT Erotica Night! Featuring GO editor Diana Cage, comedian Kelli Dunham, and erotica writers Madlyn March, Kimberly “Q”, Rob Stephenson, and Xan West. Hosted and curated by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Glamour Girls, First-Timers, The Mile High Club). Free candy and cupcakes by Baked by Melissa will be served.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the country's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Susie Bright, Lily Burana, Jessica Cutler, Stephen Elliott, Valerie Frankel, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, Andy Horwitz, Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, Edith Layton, Logan Levkoff, Suzanne Portnoy, Sofia Quintero, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Dana Vachon, Veronica Vera, Susan Wright, Zane and many others. The series has gotten press attention from the New York Times’s UrbanEye, Escape (Hong Kong), Flavorpill, The L Magazine, New York Magazine, New York Observer, Philadelphia City Paper, Time Out New York, Gothamist, Nerve.com and Wonkette, and has been praised by Dr. Ruth.

Rachel Kramer Bussel is an author, editor, blogger and reading series host. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations and a former sex columnist for The Village Voice. She’s edited numerous anthologies, two of which (Up All Night and Glamour Girls) have been Lambda Literary Award finalists, most recently The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories, Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories, Best Sex Writing 2009, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, and Spanked. Her writing been published in publications such as Clean Sheets, Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, Fresh Yarn, Huffington Post, Mediabistro, Newsday, New York Post, San Francisco Chronicle, Tango, The Village Voice, and Time Out New York, and in over 100 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006. She has hosted In The Flesh since October 2005.
www.rachelkramerbussel.com

Diana Cage is the author of three hilarious books on sex and dating: Girl Meets Girl: A Dating Survival Guide, Box Lunch: The Layperson’s Guide to Cunnilingus, and Threeways: Fulfill Your Ultimate Fantasy. She is the former host of The Diana Cage Show on Sirius XM and still pops up on the radio a couple of times a month to give advice on sex and love to lonelyhearts everywhere. Her writing has appeared in countless journals, anthologies and magazines and she currently writes on sex and politics for Shewired and Velvetpark. She is featured in the Here! Television series Lesbian Sex and Sexuality, and is now trying to figure out what's left to write about.
www.dianacage.com

Kelli Dunham is a genderqueer Fresh Fruit award-winning comic, ex-nun and a Wisconsin farmgrrl gone very bad. She has two comedy CDs to her credit: I am NOT a 12 Year Old Boy and Almost Pretty and is the co-producer of Gayety, Brooklyn's experimental queer comedy cabaret. She is on the organizing board of the Butch Voices
(www.butchvoices.com) and is the author of four published books of light hearted nonfiction and a frequent contributor to humorous anthologies. She is currently touring Pudding Day, an irreverent one boi show about her partner's struggle with cancer. In June she is launching the first of episode of Queerhouse Rock, an animated parody of the 1970 kids' cartoon series Schoolhouse Rock. She has performed at the Risque strip club in Philadelphia, at numerous churches, Lacrosse Wisconsin Pride, and a livestock auction. She once taught a nun to masturbate. With great success.
www.kellidunham.com

Madlyn March is the pseudonym of a writer whose work has appeared in the anthology First-Timers, Black Table, AfterEllen, AfterElton, Complete Woman, The New York Post, Time Out New York, and others. Toni is based on a bully who once tortured her, but the sexual part is all wishful thinking.

Kimberly "Q" (aka The Lesbian Goddess) is the writer, creator and author of Orchids: African American Lesbian Erotica One Night Stands, Orchids II: Reality or Fantasy and her just released Lesbian Funk A Journey Into The Oblivion. She formed her company Women of Choice to signify the choices of life that we as women dare to explore with a mission to go beyond the realm of women's comfort zones and normalcy by providing them with exotic adventures, unexplained pleasures, new and exciting ideas and inexplicable desires. Her books are episodes presented to entice, entertain and broaden the thoughts, actions and creativity of the lesbian sexual experience.
www.womenofchoice.com

Rob Stephenson's novel Passes Through will be published by Fiction Collective 2 in Spring of 2010. His novella U will be published later that year by Rebel Satori Press : Queer Mojo. Rob and Mikael Karlsson have made a CD called dog, now available from Please MusicWorks. They are currently working on new music that will be part of the Terry Riley Remixed CD released later this year by Innova Recordings.

Xan West is the pseudonym of an NYC BDSM and sex educator and writer. Xan's work can be found in Best SM Erotica 2, Got A Minute?, Love at First Sting, Best Women's Erotica 2008 and 2009, Men on the Edge, Leathermen, Backdraft: Firemen Erotica, DADDIES, Frenzy, Best Gay Erotica 2009, and the upcoming Cruising for Bad Boys, Pleasure Bound, and Sextime. Xan's story, "First Time Since", printed in Hurts So Good, won honorable mention for the 2008 National Leather Association's John Preston Short Fiction Award. Xan wants to hear from you, and can be found at xanwest.livejournal.com/ or emailed at xan_west at yahoo.com.