How chronic fatigue syndrome affects a woman's sex life

I'm very proud of my new Elle.com interview on sex and chronic fatigue syndrome. I did one on sex and depression and have been wanting to explore physical health in addition to mental health. I hope you'll check it out, especially if your life is affected by CFS, and if you're a woman interested in being profiled in this series or know someone who is, contact me at ellesexstories at gmail.com and tell me a little about yourself and what you'd want to focus on in the interview, which can cover any aspect of sex and dating (although I have a fair amount of polyamory and open relationship interviews at the moment). Thank you!

Why dating tech guys is the worst and Bay Area Peter Pan Syndrome at Elle.com

My latest sex interview for Elle.com is about dating in the Bay Area and men who don't want to grow up (my interviewee cooked dinner for a guy who left early to go have sex with someone else). I'm on the lookout for more women to interview! Some topics I'd like to discuss: sex and dating when you travel often for work, sex after abortion, sex while dealing with illness, any momentous sexual first times, your experience with female ejaculation, preferring sex toys over partner sex, and sex when you have a very specific fetish, but I'm open to pretty much anything else, especially subjects I haven't covered yet. Email me at ellesexstories at gmail.com and tell me about yourself and what you'd want to discuss and if you know any women who might be open to talking to me, please pass this on.

Online dating interview at Elle.com: How a queer, kinky single woman uses Tinder, OkCupid and FetLife

This week at Elle.com, I interviewed a single woman who's also queer and kinky about how she uses dating apps and sites like Tinder, OkCupid and FetLife to find people, as well as about coming out, her first girlfriend, dating genderqueer people and taking dating advice from Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari.



Read the full Love, Actually interview archives here and if you're a woman interested in being interviewed anonymously, please email me at ellesexstories at gmail.com and tell me a little about yourself and what you'd like to talk about for Elle.com.

Open marriage, abortion and using Tinder in new Elle.com interview

My latest interview for Elle.com is with a woman in an open marriage using Tinder. I'm always looking for women to interview for this series, so if you have an interesting sex/dating life and would be open to talking to me anonymously about it, email me at ellesexstories at gmail dot com - and please check out what I've covered so far to get a feel for what the interviews are like. This one touches on it, but I'm especially interested in talking to a woman about what sex is like after having an abortion.

Sex and depression interview for Elle - Mental Health Awareness Month

For my weekly Elle.com sex interview, I focused on sex and depression. While it's not the place for it in the interview, I can say that I've dealt with depression and it's certainly affected my relationships, all the more so my current one because I live with my partner, and it's something I know many other women struggle with. I'm looking to interview more women (anonymously, unless you want to use your name) about their sex and dating lives, about anything and everything related to sex, whether you're partnered or single. So far I've talked to women about everything from polyamory to BDSM to sex after childbirth to sexual fantasies and affairs. You can email me at ellesexstories at gmail.com and tell me a little more about yourself and what you'd want to discuss in the interview.

After divorcing at 55, she's having multiple orgasms and the best sex of her life

I was thrilled to get to conduct this interview about multiple orgasms at age 77, among other topics, for my Elle.com series Love, Actually, which so far has covered subjects like a swingers cruise, coming out to your husband as a submissive into BDSM, a spouse's gender transition, sexual desire after childbirth and dating while disabled.



I found my subject this week an inspiration and hope you will too. And no, it's not because she's having multiple orgasms (though I'm happy for her), but because I think her story exemplifies how your life can be going in one downward direction for a long time and then you can make positive changes and steer it in a better direction. Did this happen for her overnight? Of course not, but it did happen, and that's something I think we can all relate to and strive for, whether in the sexual arena or not. (That was my personal takeaway; the goal of these interviews isn't to be "inspiration" but simply to be honest, I just wanted to share why this week's resonated so much with me.)

I actually asked senior sex expert Joan Price if she could put out feelers to her network for women over 50 who'd talk to me and that's how this came about, and I'd love to profile more women over 50 (see below for other women I'd like to speak to for the series, which features anonymous women sharing what their sex and dating lives are really like).

Check out all the rest of these sex interviews and if you are a woman who wants to be profiled and has an interesting sex and/or dating life, please email me at ellesexstories at gmail dot com - I'm deliberately keeping that vague because if you think it's interesting, if there's a burning secret you have or something you frantically rush to discuss with your friends, I'd love to hear about it. Specifically, I'm looking to interview a single woman who's actively dating (whether sex is involved or not), a woman to talk about what sex is like after an abortion (and dating, if applicable), a woman with a specific fetish, a woman in a long distance relationship or one who travels frequently for work, a woman in a relationship with another woman, and a transgender woman. Those are a few of the types of women I want to interview, but by no means an exclusive list. And for anyone who's asking, why women? Well, Elle is a magazine geared toward women and this is for their website.

What it's like to talk about sex for a living (and the lowdown on a swingers cruise)

One of the best parts of my job is that I get to talk to people. I almost write "talk to people about sex," and that is definitely a large part of it, but just the talking to people, getting to know them, even when they are total strangers, feels like an incredible gift. My average day is spent alone in my house, except when I'm traveling, so getting to hop on the phone and have genuine discussions and feel like the person I'm talking to is processing and learning about themselves along the way is a major perk of what I do. That they are willing to go there with me, even when my questions may be awkward or uncomfortable or something they've never thought about makes me feel good about what I'm putting out into the world. When it comes to talking to them about sex, I'm all the more grateful for their openness, because often what we're discussing are things probably nobody else is asking so bluntly. Things like, "What makes this kind of sex you're having now better than sex you've had in the past?"

I've profiled people about their sex lives for over a decade for various publications, but with my new Elle.com sex and dating interview series Love, Actually, each week I get to go in depth with a woman about her sexual history and each time. I've learned both about how to be a better interviewer and come away with a newfound respect for the way these women analyze and talk about their most intimate selves. It's an honor, although I admit sometimes I feel awkward, and likely they do too, but what I've heard again and again is that they welcome getting to talk about these topics, whether having an affair or dating while disabled or sex after childbirth. In the process, I've learned quite a bit too. What I especially like about this series is that all I have to do is represent these women's individual stories. I'm not trying to tie them to a trend or make them stand in for every woman who's been in that situation. That's not what this column is about. It's about telling one woman's story, and trust me, they are fascinating.

The most recent interview is with a woman who went on a swingers cruise with her husband and that process set them off to be part of "the lifestyle" (the term swingers use to describe what they do). If you're curious about what happens on a swinging cruise and what "full swap" means, do check it out. Here's a snippet from the interview:

After the dance club closed, we all went to the 24-hour outdoor play area. There were beds spaced about every six feet with small tables between them. We all went to one bed and started by getting undressed and making out with our own partners. Soon I felt the woman's hand caressing my breast as I was kissing my husband. Then her husband, while still kissing her, started to finger me.

At one point my husband went to the restroom. While he was gone, the other guy went down on his wife while I kissed her and played with her breasts. Then we shifted and I went down on him while she went down on me. When my husband came back, he watched for a minute, then joined us.

You can read the full swinging profile here and if you're a woman with an interesting sex and/or dating life (single ladies are especially welcome!) and would be interested in being profiled anonymously, email me at ellesexstories at gmail.com and tell me a little bit about you.