Email: rachelkramerbussel at gmail.com



 

Lusty Lady

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Watch my first and favorite book trailer for Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Get Spanked in print and ebook

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Online dating interview at Elle.com: How a queer, kinky single woman uses Tinder, OkCupid and FetLife

This week at Elle.com, I interviewed a single woman who's also queer and kinky about how she uses dating apps and sites like Tinder, OkCupid and FetLife to find people, as well as about coming out, her first girlfriend, dating genderqueer people and taking dating advice from Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari.

ellequeerkinky

Read the full Love, Actually interview archives here and if you're a woman interested in being interviewed anonymously, please email me at ellesexstories at gmail.com and tell me a little about yourself and what you'd like to talk about for Elle.com.

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Thursday, September 04, 2014

Why I have so much respect for event planners

As I get ready to hop on a plane and start my biggest book tour ever, which will take me to Seattle, Portland (Oregon), Los Angeles, San Francisco, back to Portland (Oregon), then home before hitting Portland, Maine, home again and then Chicago and Milwaukee, totaling 7 writing workshops, 3 free readings, 2 panels and 1 library talk, I'm realizing how much respect I have for event planners. There is so much behind the scenes work that goes into planning these events, from booking them to promoting them online and via traditional media and social media, which is a daily, seemingly neverending part of it, to coordinating speakers, and then the day of last minute logistics, all without knowing if anyone will show up. Yes, I can see from Fetlife, for example, that 18 people say they're going to my free September 10th reading at She Bop in Portland, Oregon (and 44 have RSVPed on Facebook, including me, but I won't know until I get there how many of them actually do.

It's one of those things where you have to trust that you've done everything you can, then let go. I'm a control freak pretty much all the time, which is probably in part why I'm also a submissive when it comes to sex. I have a lot of trouble with the letting go thing, with not running an endless loop in my mind of "why didn't you..." It's also tough because some of these events (the workshops and library talk) I'll be paid for, but the others I won't make any money directly, though some have a book sale component (any sales of my books this quarter, I will receive royalties for in April 2015). So there's that element too. Plus weather, plus other events at the same time, plus...all the factors that go into whether someone stays home and binge watches Orange is the New Black, as I've been doing, or goes out for an evening of erotica.

I've been booking and promoting and hosting and organizing readings since the very first time I was published, for a Best Lesbian Erotica 2001 reading at Bluestockings in New York City. I believe I did another one for a book called Faster Pussycats that we had to reschedule just after 9/11, and I met people through those I'm still friends with. I've gotten at least one book deal because an editor saw me do a reading. I think audiences are truly hungry for erotica and so many new opportunities are open to writers that I want to share them at my workshops. I also think there's a momentum that builds from doing multiple events in a row, rather than just one-offs, both for me as the presenter and for potential audience members. But for the professional event planners like those at Save The Date, my hat's off to you! I'm still learning and growing and trying to do the very best I can do. Hope to see you on tour, and even if you can't make it, if you know anyone on the West Coast or who's attending CatalystCon or anyone near Portland, Maine, where my September 24th library talk is free, or Chicago or Milwaukee, please pass on the link to my website (note that I'm in the process of updating it, but the Portland Public Library event is now slated for 6:#0-8:30 pm on the 24th).

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Wednesday, August 27, 2014

See you in Seattle (twice)!

I'm looking forward to visiting Seattle and these two events and having a little time to walk around and explore Seattle. This tour will probably be my last book tour for a long while (though you never know!) so I am going to make the most of it.

If you know anyone who'd like a free erotica reading or may get something out of an erotica writing workshop, please let them know. Below are the Facebook and Fetlife links if you care to spread the word. A reminder: my September 9th erotica writing workshop is only $23 in advance (plus a small fee) or $30 at the door, so don't dawdle if you want to take it!

September 6th free erotica reading: Facebook and Fetlife

September 9th erotica writing workshop: Facebook and Fetlife

September 6, 3:30-4 pm
Free erotica reading in Seattle

Readings from The Big Book of Submission, The Big Book of Orgasms and Hungry for More with me and local contributors.
Center for Sex Positive Culture Annex, 1608 15th Ave W, Seattle, WA 98119

September 9, 7-9 pm
Erotica 101 writing workshop, Seattle

Professional erotica author and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, editor of over 50 anthologies such as The Big Book of Orgasms, Flying High and Best Bondage Erotica 2014, will take you through the ins and outs of modern erotic writing, from getting started, finding your voice, and incorporating your surroundings, pop culture, and personal experiences into your stories to crafting a range of characters and settings and submitting your work. In this supportive, welcoming workshop environment, you’ll learn how to write vividly about everyday scenarios as well as outlandish fantasies, and make them fit for particular publications in the thriving erotica market. This workshop will address the recent boom in erotica inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey, provide examples of well written erotica, and will include multiple writing exercises. You’ll be given a handout listing major markets and further reading suggestions. No previous writing experience required. Please bring laptop or pen and paper. 18+ with ID. $30 at the door/$23 in advance. Get tickets at Stranger Tickets.
Center for Sex Positive Culture Annex, 1608 15th Ave W, Seattle, WA 98119

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Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Sex column: Internet dating pros and cons

My latest sex column is up and it's about online dating:

When I first signed up for FetLife, I was shocked at the seemingly countless kinky choices I could list on my profile: wrestling, pin-ups, play rape, face sitting/smothering, distress. While technically it’s a social networking site, I’m including it here because lots of people use it for finding dates and hookups. Plus, those choices exemplify my problem with online dating in general: How do I sum up what I’m about, sexually or otherwise, in a few words?

I did mark off my favorites, such as bondage, breast/nipple torture, pain, pinching, spanking, talking dirty and vibrators—but really, how much does that tell you about me? I’d imagine not that much because even though I was given choices like being into or curious about these fetishes, or giving, receiving or watching, to me, that is just more than a stranger needs to know about my sexuality.

It’s certainly not something I’d discuss on a first date, and that’s why I only use FetLife for professional purposes. I’d be extremely dismayed if I did decide to sleep with a date and they just assumed they knew what made me tick because they’d read about me in such a limited form. I’m much more about the excitement of the slow reveal, à la a burlesque act.


Read the whole column at SexIs Magazine.

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Monday, March 29, 2010

Social networking sites and me

A few social networking sites where you can find me (I'm on many of them but some are for my friends, these I'll add anyone, cause I'm easy like that):

My Facebook fan page

In The Flesh Reading Series Facebook fan page

Twitter (@raquelita)

Twitter (@cupcakeblog)

Twitter (@InTheFleshNYC)

Fetlife (sorry, not sure how to link my profile, but I'm easy to find) - please note, I am NOT in any way on Fetlife for dating purposes, just for catching up with people and promoting my events/books.

Yelp (same here)

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