Email: rachelkramerbussel at gmail.com



 

Lusty Lady

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Watch my first and favorite book trailer for Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Get Spanked in print and ebook

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Sex and depression interview for Elle - Mental Health Awareness Month

For my weekly Elle.com sex interview, I focused on sex and depression. While it's not the place for it in the interview, I can say that I've dealt with depression and it's certainly affected my relationships, all the more so my current one because I live with my partner, and it's something I know many other women struggle with. I'm looking to interview more women (anonymously, unless you want to use your name) about their sex and dating lives, about anything and everything related to sex, whether you're partnered or single. So far I've talked to women about everything from polyamory to BDSM to sex after childbirth to sexual fantasies and affairs. You can email me at ellesexstories at gmail.com and tell me a little more about yourself and what you'd want to discuss in the interview.

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Monday, April 18, 2016

What it's like to be married and having an affair with an ex

That's the subject of one of my recent Elle.com Love, Actually interviews.

elleaffair

I'm sharing this because I'm looking for more women to interview anonymously about your sex and dating lives. If that's you or someone you know, please get in touch or pass along the above link or this post. I would especially like to talk to a woman who's dating someone at least 15 years younger or older than her, but as you can see from the topics below, I'm looking for all sorts of women to profile for this series, and I will repeat again that you can be completely anonymous. I've changed everyone's name except one who allowed me to keep her first name. Who am I looking to talk to? You can be a virgin or a woman who has sex with someone different every night, as long as you're willing to let me ask you some very personal questions about what that experience is like; I'm looking to interview women from age 18 into their eighties and nineties of all sexual orientations, those in relationships and those who aren't. Email me at ellesexstories at gmail.com and tell me a little about yourself and what you'd want to discuss. Here are the interviews I've done so far:

How sexual assault affected a married woman's sex life

A wife having an affair with her more well-endowed ex

Three weeks after giving birth, she's ready for sex

Life as a disabled single woman who's actively dating

A wife confesses to her husband that she's a BDSM submissive and wants him to dominate her

What it's like to have a spouse who's transitioning

Sex in an open marriage

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Wednesday, October 07, 2015

My Washington Post essay on why I don't want to get married

My essay "I love my boyfriend, but I never want to get married" is up today at The Washington Post's Solo-ish section. The title pretty much tells you what it's about. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope you'll check it out. Yes, I'm pushing myself to pitch new markets and kick my own ass in light of the end of my weekly column, and so far, it's working.

waponotmarried

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Tuesday, February 03, 2015

Why I'm over engagements as signs of winning at life

Or, "Why Marriages Cannot Be End Goals (And The Ways We Still Convince Women They Are)", my latest essay at Thought Catalog. Yes, I've been writing a lot lately - another article will probably publish tonight and I'm researching and interviewing away. What's funny is that even though I am not a fan of the marriage industrial complex, I am as sappy and romantic as a person can get.

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Thursday, July 10, 2014

Because I love writing about my breasts

Updated July 18 (from my new laptop, the Blogger iPhone app is clearly not the best, or I'm not the best at using it.

My laptop is dying a slow death, which I discovered on my flight Monday to Martha's Vineyard, so I until I get to the Apple store or get a Chromebook replacement, I'm doing most things on my iPhone, including this post, my first time using the Blogger iPhone app. I wrote about why my breasts or any woman's shouldn't be a threat to your marriage for a site I adore, Role Reboot.

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Monday, February 04, 2013

A free bisexual erotica story: "The Secret to a Happy Marriage"

Bisexuality often plays a role in my stories, whether the word itself is used or not, whether the characters identify as "bisexual" or not, in part because I'm bisexual, and in part because I think it's a way to complicate and enhance a short story. Below is my story "The Secret to a Happy Marriage," and in return for this free story, I'd love it if you'd like my book Twice the Pleasure: Bisexual Women's Erotica on Amazon and help me get to 100 likes. I'll be posting excerpts from that book and more about bisexual erotica generally, and I am hoping this book does well enough to allow me to publish more bi books. Thank you!

The Secret to a Happy Marriage
by Rachel Kramer Bussel

If people ask me why I always seem to have a smile on my face, glowing skin, and a spring in my step, I simply wink and toss off something about a healthy diet and plenty of exercise. Rarely do I divulge the real secret to my rosy cheeks and bouncy personality, and even more rarely do I let on why my husband Larry and I have had such a long and happy marriage. Somehow, for a mother of two who lives in the suburbs, who’s part of her neighborhood watch and bakes cookies every weekend, it just wouldn’t be seemly to let everyone know that the extra-special ingredient to my recipe for long-term bliss is to mix things up in the bedroom. And by that I don’t just mean adding a sex toy here or pair of crotchless panties there, though we get up to plenty of naughty play behind closed doors.

No, what I mean is that once a month, like clockwork, Larry and I visit our local swingers’ club. There, we let loose, living out every fantasy we’ve ever had⎯and some that only occur to us on the spot. There, I’ve been spanked, flogged, bound and gagged. I’ve eaten pussy, shared cocksucking duty, been filmed doing fire play, gotten double-teamed while my wrists were tied behind my back, and come so hard I’ve screamed out loud⎯all while my husband watches. Our only rule is that when we go there, we don’t fuck or play with each other. We share enough adventures together at home, so what makes it fun is for us to seek out new partners, or sometimes old ones who really turn us on. I love watching him with his mouth buried between another woman’s legs, lost in the exquisite ecstasy of tasting her juices. Sometimes another woman sucks his dick while he does so, but most of the time, I only catch the tail end, because I’m so busy having my own fun.

Last weekend was particularly memorable. One of the most popular couples who frequent the club are Beth and Katie. Yes, they’re two women, one blonde (Katie), one brunette (Beth), both bi and beautiful and bouncy. In their early twenties, they’d turn heads even if they weren’t a couple, but when they’re walking around naked or simply wearing skimpy g-strings, stopping every few seconds to make out, you can imagine they make countless dicks hard and pussies wet pretty much spontaneously. They know just what effect they have on everyone who enters the club, and they lap it right up. They’re complete exhibitionists and always wind up going above and beyond the call of naked duty. They won’t just tie each other up and fuck; they’ll use gorgeous, expensive silky red rope, with Beth, the more dominant of the pair, running it between Katie’s pussy lips and making her breasts pop out. When Beth sucks on Katie’s nipples, she makes sure to grab one between her teeth and tug, or twist a nub between her fingers and twirl it around and around so anyone looking on can get the full effect. One time they set up a little corner “booth” where they took turns bending over for anyone who chose to spank them with their choice of implements. They bring a huge toy bag that sometimes has a video camera, and they’ve been known to get someone to tape them fucking, then gift the cameraman or woman with the tape, like a naughty goodie bag prize.

Sometimes they come and are incredible teases, choosing only to entwine their bodies against each other while everyone else looks on lustfully. Even the women who swear up and down they only love cock get horny when they see Beth and Katie. There’s just something infectious about their youth and beauty and openness about sex. They’re also truly tender to each other even amidst the wildest sex acts. One time, Beth kissed Katie passionately while she was sandwiched between two guys, one’s cock in her pussy, one in her ass. Beth tends to prefer girls but Katie’s more of the wild child, and neither seems to ever get jealous.

Larry’s told me that he’s jerked off to the idea of the two of them having their way with him, tying him up and gagging him, then taking turns sitting on his cock for mere moments, enough to keep him rock-hard, but unable to get off as they played musical chairs in front of him. We’ve certainly fantasized about the girls countless times in bed. I’ve always said that I wanted to lick both their pussies at once. I’ve watched them get head and heard their cries from clear across the room, salivating with envy over the lucky tongue that got to be slammed inside those delicious lips. The main thing to know about Beth and Katie is that they never accepted come-ons; they always had to be the aggressors, the ones inviting others into their private erotic dance.

All of a sudden, here was my chance, The girls were particularly impressed with my new nipple rings, twin silver ovals with little beads on the ends that Larry had gotten me for our anniversary. I’d been letting them heal, and last time had kept my top on, creating an air of mystery. Some had thought I’d gotten my boobs done, while others picked sunburn as the cause for my sudden bashfulness. I just kept them guessing, and at home savored Larry’s teeth tugging on the hoops when I was finally allowed to utilize them to full effect. Now, they were making their public debut, to much applause and public speculation. My nipples had never been as sensitive, and when Katie giggled and said she wanted to taste my new toys for herself, I smiled and said, “Be my guest.” Really I was her guest, a visitor to her glorious lesbian playground as Beth stood behind me, letting me lean my head back onto her shoulder while she kissed the nape of my neck and whispered in my ear about what a dirty girl I was. Her words themselves weren’t anything special, but coming from her lips, with her bare breasts pressed against my back, they almost made my knees buckle.

And Katie, who I’d gotten used to think of as mostly a bottom, pounced on my rings like they were candy. I reached behind me, gripping Beth’s hips as she bit into my neck while Katie stared up at me as she took one ring between her teeth and began tugging. “Oh yeah, I like that,” I said, staring back at Katie, hoping my husband was watching every second. My nipples were on fire, as were my cheeks, flaming bright red I was sure. I’d been watched before, but when I dared draw my gaze from Katie’s wicked mouth, I saw so many familiar faces glued on me, many of them with accompanying hands jerking on cocks or sliding along slick pussies.

“How’s Katie doing, Angela?” Beth asked, her fingers finding ways to pinch my back, my stomach, my ass.

Katie’s tongue slithered out to lick my hard pink flesh, flicking at the ring in the process. I watched her lap at one nipple while her other hand twisted my areola. “Very good, Beth. Perfect, actually,” I said, then sucked in air between my teeth as Beth’s fingers found the entrance to my sex. She stroked me there, so lightly I wanted to scream, playing with my wetness but not making any move to enter me. Katie’s mouth got more intense, her lips fastening around the ring and pulling upward while her other hand started lightly slapping at my other breast. I was panting by then, short, shallow, in and out breaths that pushed me closer to the edge of orgasm.

They kept me there at that high peak, but neither tried to push me over. Abruptly, Beth slithered out from behind me, forcing me to stand up straight, and pulled her girlfriend away. I saw them whispering, then looked down and saw my erect nipples with their adornments hanging perfectly off each end. I heard a laugh come from Katie’s lips and stood up straighter.

“We don’t think you’re quite ready to get fucked,” said Beth, reporting back. “Do you?”

It was a trick question if ever there was one, because I was so beyond ready to get fucked. “Your wish is my command,” I said to Beth, because it was the truth. Tonight, she knew what was best for me, more than I or Larry or anyone else in the horny room.

“Good. Then shut your eyes,” she said. The next thing I knew, a blindfold was placed over them. “Turn around and put your hands over your head.” I did as she said, feeling my pussy tighten as I followed her order. Then hands were pushing me hard against the wall. My pierced nipples met the hard, flat surface, the zing of pain racing through my body before settling into a dull thtrob.

“Spread your legs,” came Beth’s next order. I did, only to feel them spread further for me by her hands. Then someone was between my legs, pinching my labia. I’d never really thought of my pussy lips as sources of sexual pleasure; that was for my clit, and for inside. But soon something was being clamped to each lip, toward the top, near my clit. I heard a tinkling, like bells, then laughter. “Now if you move, your pussy’s going to jingle,” said Beth, raking her claw-like nails down the back of my neck. I shuddered, and sure enough, the bells hanging from my cunt gave off their own sound. “Those are really meant to go on a girl’s nipples, but yours are otherwise occupied,” said Beth.

“But that’s just the beginning.” Because of the blindfold, all my senses were focused on what I could hear and feel, along with the anticipation of what mysterious torture awaited me. I found out very soon, when the stroke of a flogger struck my upper back, hard. Normally, it wouldn’t have hurt so much as thudded, like an extra-strong backrub, but because of the heat emanating from my nipples, the pressure of the flogger pushed me further against the wall. Then, a pause, and something struck my ass. It was sharp and focused, and felt like a riding crop. I trembled, then whimpered. The crop made my pussy tingle.

Then came both the flogger and crop at once, one pounding deep into my upper back, one sizzling against my ass. I knew both women were lashing out at me, and was sure that anyone who hadn’t been watching before was doing so now. The blows against my back were loud, drowning out my whimpers as the heat in my chest suffused my body. The crop, along with the clamps on my labia, were what really pushed me over the edge. “Yes,” I cried out, loudly, as the instruments barreled against my skin. They kept striking me over and over until my whole body tingled like you do when you’ve just come into a warm room from a freezing outdoor day, only on the edge of orgasm.

Then the room was still, and it felt to me like everyone was holding their breath, waiting, like me, to see what would happen next. I’ll tell you⎯one of the women (my money was on Beth), took the crop and began tapping it against my sex. Lightly, at first, the leather hit my slit, sometimes striking the bells. Then it came harder, and I banged my fists against the wall, so horny I could scream. “Yeah,” I heard behind me, then there were fingers tangled in my hair, then fingers being shoved in my mouth, then who knows how many hands on me. I found out later it was the girls and my friend Carlos, all touching and stroking and hitting me at once. When someone finally got around to fucking me with a huge dildo that stretched my pussy deliciously, I shuddered, my body craving every last inch of it. As I got mauled, I melted into my tormenters, my lovers, myself. I gave everything I had to my scene, and got back in return an orgasm that seemed to last for hours. Not literally, but long after we left the club, my pussy pulsed with that special feeling only a rock-your-world climax can bring.

Beth and Katie took me into the bathroom and wiped me down, kissing and licking any sore spots and telling me that ours was the hottest scene they’d ever had at the club. I don’t know if they were telling the truth, but for me, they gave my weekend⎯okay, my year⎯something to truly remember. And that’s my secret, one I’m happy to share if it’ll help one lucky lady unlock her own erotic dreams, as naughty as they may be. We’ve all got them, those yearnings that don’t simply go away because you’ve got a ring on your finger. I prefer to indulge my indecent thoughts, and will continue to do so, with a smile on my face.

You'll find 22 varied stories in Twice the Pleasure: Bisexual Women's Erotica, out from Cleis Press in March 2013! Stay tuned for excerpts.

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Sunday, December 04, 2011

Married people erotica, or hot champagne sex in my Best Erotic Romance story

The other day I discovered a review of my book /Best Bondage Erotica 2011 by Steve in Pennsylvania on Amazon that said:

Wished there were some stories from real couples in long-term monogamous relationships. Almost every story is kinky, disconnected sex. Empty and sad to someone like me in a good, loving marriage. Apparently, erotica doesn't exist for married couples. Unfortunate, because the stories here don't touch the excitement found in a committed, trusting relationship.



This incensed me, and I ranted on Tumblr about it. Then I started reading the new Kristina Wright anthology Best Erotic Romance, which I highly recommend, and found some pretty hot married sex in my story "Our Own Private Champagne Room," about a wife who's jealous of her husband's strip club past that she just found out about, and sets about creating the title setting, with, I think, some pretty hot results. And let me just say that I think even the kinkiest, filthiest sex can be about "lovemaking" in the sense of intimacy and connection; for me, it certainly has been, sometimes even more so than moments of what would more traditionally called "lovemaking." I'm so, so over both the division of "loving sex" and "casual sex" as well as "making love" and "fucking," not to mention the denigration of the latter, along with the bazillion other ways our culture is so damn prudish it makes me ashamed to live in it sometimes. Now, this person is totally entitled to their opinion and I wish them luck in their quest for married people erotica, but I'm over trying to engage someone like that, but I will engage you, if you're reading this.



From "Our Own Private Champagne Room" by me:

I put down the bottle and again climb up next to my husband, straddling him, and offer him a champagne-soaked nipple. He greedily takes it in his mouth. I reach for his hands and place them on my ass. He grabs me like he hasn't grabbed me in years. His lips, his hands, his cock presing up against me, are all reminders of what I want us to be like again. The fire didn't exactly go out, but it has fizzled, and only when I hear the roar release from his lips, then feel Derek tearing my nightie right down the middle, do I realize exactly how much I've missed it.

He doesn't say anything, doesn't try to reassure me with words. Instead he lifts me up, my legs wrapped around him, the wet filmy fabric clinging to me. He doesn't bring me to the bed, but instead slams me up against the wall. He keeps me pinned there while undoing his pants. "Is this what you want, Sarah? You want me right here, like this?"

"Yes, yes, yes," I cry when he shifts me just so and places the tip of his cock inside me. He is lighting the spark that is making our relationship explode, making it crackle and sizzle and burn the way it should have been all along. I know has he plunges inside me, holding me tight, his face buried in my neck, that no matter what happened in those champagne rooms, it was never like this. Derek pounds into me, overtaking me, and I cling to him, my thighs straining, my nails digging into his back.

He is fucking me, that's the only way to describe this, yet in his its way, his fucking is lovemaking too. It's the kind of fucking a couple can engage in who knows that there is no one else they'd rather be with, so they can slam and rock and thrust and claw, scream and pound and yell and bite, and be assured that the other person wants every ounce of ferocious, almost violent energy they have to share. He doesn't say anything, not even my name, just growls into my ear, a sound that's so beautiful I start to cry a little when I come. He used to tell me not to cry, but now he knows that when it happens, it means I'm so overwhelmed with not just love and lust but destiny, rightness, perfection, that I can do nothing else. I squeeze him hard, and then I come again when he starts to fill me with his passion. He stops thrusting and simply lets himself be inside me, making me his and telling me he's mine.


And if you like erotic romance, do also check out my books Passion: Erotic Romance for Women and Obsessed: Erotic Romance for Women (and guess what? both my stories, "Five Senses" and "I Want to Hold Your Hand," respectively, have, yes, married couples having sex!).

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Monday, October 03, 2011

My latest article: "The Bold Single Bride Who Married Herself"

I don't think I posted this here - my latest piece for The Frisky is "The Bold Single Bride Who Married Herself" about my friend Desiree. Totally inspiring! Be sure to read it and click through to read her entire vows to herself. I'm taking a cue from her.

What would you do if you wound up single on what was to be one of the most special days of your life—your wedding day? My friend Desiree did something remarkable and revolutionary: instead of hiding away, she marched boldly into a proud new future, and in the process became an inspiration to me and, hopefully, some of you as well.

On a recent Sunday, when I would have been attending her wedding to a man, I stood on Bow Bridge in Central Park and witnessed Desiree get married—to herself. A circle of her friends surrounded her while her cousin officiated, reciting vows she had written for herself, which included the lines, “I will make my happiness a priority and forgive myself when I’m not perfect. I will trust myself and stand within the power of my own strength. I will love myself forever more, through good and bad, thick and thin, and for exactly who I am today. I promise I will never, ever, ever, settle for less than what my heart and soul desire.”


Read the whole thing

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Sunday, February 21, 2010

Affair sex vs. married sex from "Anatomy of an Affair" by Kerry Cohen

Hear Kerry Cohen (writing as Michelle Perrot) read from this piece and talk about the aftermath tonight, tomorrow and Tuesday in Eugene, Portland and Seattle. I'll post my Q&A with her ASAP because it's fascinating and I'm SO proud to have published this original, not-seen-anywhere-else piece in Best Sex Writing 2010. I hope we get a big showing from poly people because I think outspoken, proud people who are willing to grapple publicly with what it means to reject our fucked up culture of compulsory monogamy are truly sexual outlaws, which is the theme of the anthology. Actually, scratch that - it's the general public who needs to hear voices like Kerry's, to understand that you can be married, be a good mom, be a smart, savvy person and still opt out of monogamy and (OMG!) be happy.





From "Anatomy of an Affair" by Kerry Cohen:

I don’t want 1950s-style advice about “date nights” and lingerie and role-playing. I don’t want to “spice up my marriage.” I want rough sex. Dirty, spit in his mouth sex. Wet, disgusting, nasty talk about pussies and cum and fuck-me sex. The kind of hate fucking where afterward you can’t move. And the bottom line is that I don’t want that kind of sex with my husband, this man I love.

For a number of years, of course, I assumed I would forgo this sort of sex. It was worth it to keep my marriage intact. Marriage is about compromise. It’s about some degree of sacrifice. Honestly, if what I would have to sacrifice were something other than the sort of sex that most fills me, I’d be happy to oblige. But sexual desire is so intensely personal, so completely something you don’t control. I can’t just decide that I will no longer crave that sort of sex, and our desires don’t always fit well with the monogamy our culture demands.

The running psychological theory is that we eroticize what has shamed, hurt, or frightened us, that our “lovemap cartographic systems,” as described by John Money, the famous John Hopkins psychologist, are learned. If that’s true, it could be argued that I spent my childhood feeling helpless, unable to control the ways in which my parents emotionally wounded me. As the years went by I tried to control the world where it felt out of control. I pursued men vigorously. I yelled at them when they hurt me, tried to force them into being who I wanted them to be. These were the men I had the best sex with, the ones who wanted to make clear who was really in charge once we got in the bedroom, the kind who made me go blind mid-orgasm, who told me my pussy was so wet and their cocks were aching with need for me, who smacked my ass while we did it from behind. These were the kind of men I never would have married. I wanted to get married, to share my life with someone.

I chose my husband because he was not one of these men.


Read the entire essay in Best Sex Writing 2010, which is for sale from publisher Cleis Press and:




Indiebound



Amazon.com



Bn.com



Powells

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Thursday, June 04, 2009

Remind me why do people want to get married?

via Publishers Marketplace:

June 2, 2009

Non-fiction:
Memoir

Journalist and former Larry King Live producer Carol Ross Joynt's INNOCENT SPOUSE, a story about marital secrets and financial infidelity that recounts the author's attempts to pick up the pieces of her shattered life when, after her husband's sudden death, she learns that he was under investigation by the IRS for tax fraud and, as his surviving spouse, she is responsible for repaying his debt of over $2.5 million, to Suzanne O'Neill at Crown, at auction, by Laney Katz Becker at Folio Literary Management (NA).

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Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Lusting after cover of Lily Burana's I Love a Man in Uniform

Strip City author Lily Burana's new memoir I Love a Man in Uniform: A Memoir of Love, War, and Other Battles hits bookstores April 14th from Weinstein Books. Can't wait to read it. Working on getting her to read again at In The Flesh. Love the cover.



And I'm not ashamed to say that I know that's also the release date for both Tori Spelling's second memoir Mommywood (Simon Spotlight Entertainment) and her mom Candy Spelling's memoir Stories from Candyland (St. Martin's), the latter of which landed in galley form on my desk today and I plan to take to jury duty with me! Oh, and Amazon's offering them as a promo deal:

Candy Spelling/Tori Spelling memoirs on Amazon

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Saturday, September 27, 2008

On my reading list: The Get-Your-Man-to-Marry-You Plan: Buying the Cow in the Age of Free Milk





I just got this book in the mail. The original title (with corresponding URL) was Buying The Cow in the Age of Free Milk, so even though the author on her blog rushes to defend that title, I think it’s interesting that in the final print version, the title is The Get-You-Man-to-Marry-You Plan: Buying the Cow in the Age of Free Milk.

I’ve actually been wanting to read it for a while, and maybe because I blogged about it, or just the magic of being a former sex columnist, it came to my p.o. box today. I will, indeed, withhold judgment until I read it, also keeping in mind that I’m not the target audience. I don’t want to get married (not that I would totally rule it out, I never say never) and am way more interested in buidling a stable home for my future children than anything else. In my ideal world, I’ll be in a happy relationship when I do so, but the truth is, the most likely scenario is me going the Rachel Sarah single mom route. But I don’t know. I do want to see what this author has to say, but think it’s interesting that still, the majority of dating and marriage books are geared towards women, in a very specific way, with the assumption that we want to get married, sooner rather than later. That we are the ones pushing for it, rather than the reverse, which I don’t always think is true.

Here's what Lori Uscher-Pines says on her site:

Second, the title is funny…meant to hark back to a time when your your grandmother- who fears the computer and thinks that you should wear a girdle- was young. When she was dating there were Jim Crow laws and a federal ban on birth control for God’s sake! The fact that some people take the title of the book so seriously and allow it to offend means that on some level they believe it is true. I chose this particular title for its old school ridiculousness and in fact, once you read the book you will see that I totally reinvent the expression “Why buy the cow…”and explain how it (in its modern interpretation) applies to life today. Anyway, why shouldn’t we have a bit of fun? A woman struggling to get a man to commit is in a very serious and heart-breaking situation that I understand and commiserate with. In this situation, it can’t hurt to laugh at the world. Also, although “feminism” can mean many different things, I actually think of the book as a feminist text that that someone like Betty Friedan would select for a nice, leisurely read on the can. I have a hyphenated name for God’s sake. How annoying is that? How dare you say I’m not a feminist!

Some of you have commented that any book that advocates tactics and games is horrible and you shouldn’t have to trick a man. What do you call putting on make-up, ladies? Life is all about tactics. When you put on lipstick in the morning you are in reality misrepresenting yourself. You are misleading the world into thinking that you are more attractive and younger than you really are- to get respect, to get laid, whatever. We use
tactics all the time to get what we want, and you are getting hung up on semantics. Also, I’m not suggesting that you trick a guy into anything. If you read the book you would see that it is all about getting a guy who would propose any way to just move a bit faster. The book isn’t about changing anyone’s mind; it is about getting your life moving on your own timetable. This is why reading a book prior to criticizing it is so useful.

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