Erotica audiobooks: Listen to me now at Audible!

Cleis Press and Audible.com have paired up to bring you audio erotica! Several of my anthologies, as well as some anthologies featuring my stories, are now available for your listening pleasure. Below are links to Amazon, and you can also buy directly from Audible. I haven't heard them yet but think this is a very cool new way of getting erotica out there. If there are more, I'll link to them.

He's on Top: Erotic Stories of Male Dominance and Female Submission

She's on Top: Erotic Stories of Female Dominance and Male Submission

Orgasmic: Erotica for Women

Passion: Erotic Romance for Women

Hide and Seek: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists

Best Sex Writing 2010

Bust reviews Best Sex Writing 2010

Bust reviewed Best Sex Writing 2010 and here's what they had to say:

The third annual edition of Best Sex Writing, edited by notable sex expert Rachel Kramer Bussel, bills itself as a “thinking person’s sex book.” And with essays covering ground from the personal to the historical to the medical (with hardly any writing and bosom-heaving at all) it seems an apt description. In a book about the world’s oldest subject, a few ideas feel fresh, such as John DeVore’s groundbreakingly sexy willingness to admit that model-obsessed male culture has whitewashed the messiness of human desire, and Betty Dodson’s fear that all her feminist sex education has irradiated her erotic life of primal raunch. There’s just a dab here of the overly PC prose that often plagues sex-positive writing with a cringeworthy earnestness, but voices like that of hilariously blunt Diana Joseph, who writes about hearing her son refer to a female peer as a slut, make this collection worth the asking price.



Order Best Sex Writing 2010 from:



Amazon.com



Kindle edition



Cleis Press

Congratulations to IPPY Award finalists Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories and Best Sex Writing 2010

I'm thrilled to announce that two of my books are finalists for the 2010 IPPY (Independent Publisher) Awards, to be announced during BEA. Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories (click to watch sexy book trailer and read introduction) is a finalist in the erotica category, and Best Sex Writing 2010 is a finalist in the Sexuality category. Congratulations to all the finalists, especially my fellow Cleis Press editor Violet Blue on her erotica anthology category finalist Sweet Love: Erotic Fantasies for Couples.







Last year, I won 3 gold medals at the IPPYs: Best Sex Writing 2009 won the gold in the sexuality category, and Tasting Him: Oral Sex Stories and Tasting Her: Oral Sex Stories tied for the gold in erotica!

Minneapolis book party tonight!

The only book party there will likely be for this book. Join us! More information about the book, like the introduction, can be found here.

I'll be reading Kirk Read's most excellent essay "It's a Shame About Ray." Yes, Lemonheads fans should come too.

March 2, 5:30-7:30
Best Sex Writing 2010 book party
Join Best Sex Writing 2010 editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and local contributor Diana Joseph, author of the memoir I’m Sorry You Feel That Way, for a reading and book party. The book collects the best sex journalism and essays of the year on topics ranging from teen sexting to penis size to the world's thinnest condoms to voyeurism, swinging, Tijuana bibles, sex work, crazy sex laws and Twilight as "abstinence porn," all centered on the them of sexual outlaws. Co-sponsored by Smitten Kitten; books will be available for sale and sex toys will be raffled off. Music by erotic bluegrass band Courtney McClean and The Dirty Curls; free cupcakes by Cake Eater Bakery in mint cookies and cream, white chocolate butterscotch and Elvis (peanut butter/banana/bacon).
Bedlam Theatre, 1501 S. 6th St., Minneapolis
612-341-1038

Big thanks to local paper Vita.mn for this writeup:

Snapshots from Seattle

No way to fully capture the trip (or rather, trips), plus I have less than 48 hours at home before going to Minneapolis (NOT a smart move in any way on my part, and I'd cancel if I weren't doing a fantabulous book party on Tuesday night that better be crowded for the free music/sex toys/cupcakes). I just don't travel that well, not for such extended periods. I had fun, but ate too much and was a bit mopey and didn't write. Working on changing that, starting now.



You can now get autographed copies of Best Sex Writing 2010 at Powell's in Portland by mail order or in the store, and at Elliott Bay in Seattle.

Saw this on my way to Elliott Bay on Tuesday:



After a day full of cupcakes, I ate at Barrio in Capitol Hill and it was AMAZING:


Taquitos


Queso fundido


Calamari


Goofing off (with a little help from iPhone app The Best Camera) with Carrie of Bella Cupcake Couture, who was my tour guide, and Jody Hall, owner of Cupcake Royale, who's done, you know, a few little things like be invited to the White House to talk about health care. Such amazing people and if I lived in Seattle, you'd see me with my laptop at Cupcake Royale's Capitol Hill outpost A LOT.

They gave me a t-shirt that says "Rock out with your cupcake out." Then I bought one for my baby cousin.


Trophy Cupcakes not only made the amazing cupcakes with my face on them but also hosted a cupcake meetup yesterday that was well-attended, fun, and gave us some insider scoop on running a Seattle cupcake business. And fed us with s'mores cupcakes that had a graham cracker bottom! This frosting was seriously to die for. Marshmallowtastic.

At Bluebottle Art Gallery, to be owned April 1st by my friend Jessie Oleson of Cakespy, I not only got some Matthew Porter monkey magnets but lusted after this painting called "Miss Petits Gâteaux" of a topless girl with cupcakes by Julie West, whose work I now covet.


There was a lot of being tired/nauseous/emotionally overwhelmed/missing people in hotel rooms, thinking about the past and the present and the future, thinking about both the book A Spy in the House of Love and the reality.


The view around 6 am looked like this from my room at the Westin.


I pack heavy stuff.


You might've heard...it's snowing in New York. My friend Heidi likened it to powdered sugar. I'm so thrilled to be back.

Great Best Sex Writing 2010 review at Examiner.com

I'm at the Apple Store so no time to format this correctly, but do see the entire great review of Best Sex Writing 2010 at Examiner.com:

Best Sex ventures into some spicy arenas. There’s the story of the sex worker who finds herself hot and bothered by an anonymous and handsome stranger whom she describes in, ‘Client voyeur.’ About her customer, a man with a strange fetish, the author writes, "He approached me, but I kept my eyes averted, taking him in through my peripheral vision. He walked toward me and moved his hands near my waist, pausing for a moment before drawing them back, and the anticipation, the frustration was excruciating…My heart was pounding, and I as thinking, Just touch me. His attention and the retrained sexual energy had me desperate for physical contact…I’d slowly let go of my resistance, transformed from defensive affectation to open, raw lust…I stood there, half naked, waiting, throbbing.”

Many essays deserve particular recognition for pushing the envelope. There is, ‘The anatomy of an affair,’ in which the essayist, writing under the pseudonym, Michelle Perrot, describes in snarly detail her desire to have, “rough sex. Dirty, spit in his mouth sex..the kind …where afterward you can’t move. And the bottom line is that I don’t want that kind of sex with my husband, this man I love.” Janet Hardy takes a good hard look at her sexuality and her vagina in ‘The portal,’ explaining that despite having had girlfriends, she finds herself also liking men. “And since they don’t have [vaginas], we use mine,” she writes.

It’s impossible to highlight every essay in this collection, each of which stands strongly alone, but together they paint a deeper, more colorful and diverse picture of our base natures. For those who worry that there isn’t enough vanilla to warrant reading Best Sex, rest assured there is something here even for the demure. John DeVore writes a delicious ode to desire, sensuality and women with curves in ‘What really turns men on.’ (Women with curves make my junk bark. There is something so shockingly vulnerable, feminine, and grounded about a woman with back, hips, a lil' paunch...sensuality is a time machine that slows things down so you can greedily savor every nanosecond.") And Paul Krassner reminds us that not all genitals look like they belong to a porn star...nor should they in his essay, ‘Remembering pubic hair.’ ("My own resistance to the plethora of bald p*ssies stems from my preadolescent days when pubic hair was such a big taboo that I became obsessed with it."

First Best Sex Writing 2010 reading, Eugene, Oregon

We had a lovely reception last night at Tsunami Books in Eugene, Oregon, where I read the introduction to Best Sex Writing 2010, Janet Hardy read "The Portal" about cunts, I read Kirk Read's AMAZING essay "It's a Shame About Ray" and Kerry Cohen read her essay "The Anatomy of An Affair" and talked about her now-open marriage. We had a Q&A following the reading that covered everything from sexual outlaws to The Vagina Monologues and sexuality and morality. We had a pretty good crowd because of the Eugene Weekly review -fingers crossed for good turnouts tonight in Portland and tomorrow in Seattle. I don't think most readings feature free cupcakes plus we're a pretty feisty, powerful group.

Photos:


Loose Girl author Kerry Cohen, The Ethical Slut co-author Janet Hardy and me





February 22, 7:30-8:30 pm

Best Sex Writing 2010 reading
Featuring editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and contributors Kerry Cohen, writing as Michelle Perrot, reading from "Anatomy of an Affair," about the affair she plans to have and the difference between married sex and an affair, and Janet Hardy, reading from "The Portal," about cunts and their relationship to sexuality. FREE and free cupcakes!
Powell's Books
1005 W. Burnside, Portland, Oregon
Info: 503-228-4651

February 23, 7:00 pm

Best Sex Writing 2010 reading
Featuring editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and contributors Kerry Cohen, writing as Michelle Perrot, reading from "Anatomy of an Affair," about the affair she plans to have and the difference between married sex and an affair, and Janet Hardy, reading from "The Portal," about cunts and their relationship to sexuality. Free and free custom cupcakes from Trophy Cupcakes.
Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 South Main Street, Seattle, WA 98104

Affair sex vs. married sex from "Anatomy of an Affair" by Kerry Cohen

Hear Kerry Cohen (writing as Michelle Perrot) read from this piece and talk about the aftermath tonight, tomorrow and Tuesday in Eugene, Portland and Seattle. I'll post my Q&A with her ASAP because it's fascinating and I'm SO proud to have published this original, not-seen-anywhere-else piece in Best Sex Writing 2010. I hope we get a big showing from poly people because I think outspoken, proud people who are willing to grapple publicly with what it means to reject our fucked up culture of compulsory monogamy are truly sexual outlaws, which is the theme of the anthology. Actually, scratch that - it's the general public who needs to hear voices like Kerry's, to understand that you can be married, be a good mom, be a smart, savvy person and still opt out of monogamy and (OMG!) be happy.





From "Anatomy of an Affair" by Kerry Cohen:

I don’t want 1950s-style advice about “date nights” and lingerie and role-playing. I don’t want to “spice up my marriage.” I want rough sex. Dirty, spit in his mouth sex. Wet, disgusting, nasty talk about pussies and cum and fuck-me sex. The kind of hate fucking where afterward you can’t move. And the bottom line is that I don’t want that kind of sex with my husband, this man I love.

For a number of years, of course, I assumed I would forgo this sort of sex. It was worth it to keep my marriage intact. Marriage is about compromise. It’s about some degree of sacrifice. Honestly, if what I would have to sacrifice were something other than the sort of sex that most fills me, I’d be happy to oblige. But sexual desire is so intensely personal, so completely something you don’t control. I can’t just decide that I will no longer crave that sort of sex, and our desires don’t always fit well with the monogamy our culture demands.

The running psychological theory is that we eroticize what has shamed, hurt, or frightened us, that our “lovemap cartographic systems,” as described by John Money, the famous John Hopkins psychologist, are learned. If that’s true, it could be argued that I spent my childhood feeling helpless, unable to control the ways in which my parents emotionally wounded me. As the years went by I tried to control the world where it felt out of control. I pursued men vigorously. I yelled at them when they hurt me, tried to force them into being who I wanted them to be. These were the men I had the best sex with, the ones who wanted to make clear who was really in charge once we got in the bedroom, the kind who made me go blind mid-orgasm, who told me my pussy was so wet and their cocks were aching with need for me, who smacked my ass while we did it from behind. These were the kind of men I never would have married. I wanted to get married, to share my life with someone.

I chose my husband because he was not one of these men.

Read the entire essay in Best Sex Writing 2010, which is for sale from publisher Cleis Press and:




Indiebound



Amazon.com



Bn.com



Powells

Portland, I heart you

Portland has been nonstop - stayed at Hyatt Place, because I was antsy about coming to a residential neighborhood at 1 am sans phone, and had a lovely time. For $85 I got a giant room with couch and bed and there was a pool - obviously if I forgot my phone I didn't think to bring a bathing suit, but anyway, then I took the light rail to the Apple Store, got a new phone that is so fancy I barely know what to do with it, went to Saint Cupcake for a meetup, hung out with my friend Douglas who showed me some of the many food carts in Portland and we caught up.


Hello Kitty greeted me in the mall (I am a Jersey Girl at heart so of course my first stop was in a mall to get a new phone)

Then my friend Irena picked me up - I spent almost all of the summer of 1999 hanging out with her and her then-girlfriend having the time of our lives. Now she lives in a house that reminds me of a friend's in Silverlake, completely with cute little dog and guest room and we go to catch up and hang out with her wife and talk baby names, good (and bad) tattoos, cupcakes and life. And eat at Mio Sushi, where I was introduced to sushi pizza! Yum.



Tonight our pro-affair, pro-cunt sexual outlaw Best Sex Writing 2010 mini book tour with me, Kerry Cohen (Loose Girl) and Janet Hardy (The Ethical Slut) hits Tsunami Books in Eugene from 7-8, Monday night we're at Powell's on Burnside at 7:30 in Portland and Elliott Bay in Seattle at 7 on Tuesday (the latter 2 with free cupcakes). You don't want to miss it, I promise. I'll be talking about the book and what I think it means to be a "sexual outlaw."


Loose Girl author Kerry Cohen ("Anatomy of an Affair")


The Ethical Slut co-author Janet Hardy ("The Portal")

Press!

Eugene Weekly reviews Best Sex Writing 2010 and plugs Sunday night's reading with me, Kerry Cohen (aka Michelle Perrot) and Janet Hardy!

The fury comes in specifically in one of the strongest non-personal pieces, Judith Levine’s brilliant “What’s the Matter with Teen Sexting?” Hey! That’s a great damn question! Why are (some) adults so freaked out about teen sexuality? How could anyone prosecute kids as sex offenders for sending nude photos of themselves to their friends or partners?

Well, perhaps it’s because they never read Thomas MacAulay Millar’s “Toward a Performance Model of Sex,” which takes the women’s sexuality=cow milk equivalence and knocks it back into the Pandora’s box of misogyny. Admittedly, Millar’s is a long, meandering, top-heavy argument that spends too long with the buildup and not enough time at the climax, but combined with Ellen Friedrichs’ “Sex Laws That Can Really Screw You,” the essay provides a powerful backing for reconceptualizing sexual agency.

In between these more reported, factual pieces come the first-person experience snippets. Some of these, like Perrot’s, are both literary and erotic; some of them, like Diana Joseph’s “The Girl Who Only Sometimes Said No” and Kirk Read’s “It’s a Shame About Ray,” contain moving portraits of their writers or the people closest to them. Joseph’s piece in particular illustrates sensitive, painful clashes between parent and child, between different conceptualizations of female sexuality, between the mom’s experiences of a sexual life and the junior-high-aged son’s callous dismissal of girls’ ability to define themselves. “The Girl Who Only Sometimes Said No” leads the book, and it’s gorgeous; few of the following pieces live up to its promise, and some are flat-out poorly written even if the information contained in them has value in a society that doesn’t really understand how to talk about sex and sexuality.

Brooklyn Ink podcast takes you inside my erotic writing workshops at Shag in Brooklyn - if you're on the fence about attending, listen to this. I have 2 more (see previous post), February 27 and March 6. Students get high priority with my anthologies - I'm about to announce two more which there'll be lots of spots in. Plus I'm bringing cupcakes. The last 2 workshops have been small but fascinating.

My events: Portland, Eugene, Seattle, NYC, Minneapolis

Sorry if these are out of order - I'm in Portland, off to the Apple Store to buy a new iPhone. Yes, that's how the last few days have been. It's probably in my apartment but I went to work, went back home to look for it, couldn't find it and almost missed my plane...which was then delayed by 2 hours thanks to JetBlue so I made it. Follow along in real time once I get a new phone on Twitter.

Cupcakes Take the Cake Meetup
Saturday, February 20, 2-4 pm
Saint Cupcake
407 nw 17th ave @ flanders
portland oregon 97209
503-473-8760
Note: Special discount rate just for us. Say you're part of the cupcake meetup and you'll get dots for $1 for dots and full-size cupcakes for $2 each.

Cupcakes Take the Cake Meetup
Thursday, February 25, 6-8 pm
Trophy Cupcakes (Wallingford Center)
1815 N. 45th Street, Suite 209
Seattle, Washington
206-632-7020
This one even has a Facebook page.

Cupcakes Take the Cake Meetup
Sunday, February 28, 3-5 pm
Cupcake
3338 University Ave. SE.
Minneapolis, MN 55414
612-378-4818

Note: Seattle reading starts at 7, not 7:30. Be there for the Trophy Cupcakes cupcakes with my photo on them!!!

February 21, 6-7 pm

Reading from Best Sex Writing 2010 (Cleis Press)
featuring editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and contributors Kerry Cohen, writing as Michelle Perrot, reading from "Anatomy of an Affair," about the affair she plans to have and the difference between married sex and an affair, and Janet Hardy, reading from "The Portal," about cunts and their relationship to sexuality. FREE.

Tsunami Books
2585 Willamette Street, Eugene, OR 97405-3132

Info: 541-345-8986

February 22, 7:30-8:30 pm

Reading from Best Sex Writing 2010 (Cleis Press)
featuring editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and contributors Kerry Cohen, writing as Michelle Perrot, reading from "Anatomy of an Affair," about the affair she plans to have and the difference between married sex and an affair, and Janet Hardy, reading from "The Portal," about cunts and their relationship to sexuality. FREE and free cupcakes!

Powell's Books
1005 W. Burnside, Portland, Oregon

Info: 503-228-4651

February 23, 7:00 pm

Best Sex Writing 2010 reading


Featuring editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and contributors Kerry Cohen, writing as Michelle Perrot, reading from "Anatomy of an Affair," about the affair she plans to have and the difference between married sex and an affair, and Janet Hardy, reading from "The Portal," about cunts and their relationship to sexuality. FREE.

Elliott Bay Book Company
101 South Main Street, Seattle, WA 98104

February 27, 2-4 pm
Erotic Writing Workshop Taught by Rachel Kramer Bussel
Shag, 108 Roebling (at N. 6th), Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Acclaimed erotica author and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel (Bottoms Up, Spanked, Peep Show, The Mile High Club) teaches an erotic writing workshop covering characterization, point of view, selling your work and more. Bring pen/paper or laptop for in-class exercises. Includes handouts and free cupcakes.
Admission: $20
Info: 347-721-3302
Email: weloveshag@gmail.com
URL: http://www.weloveshag.com

March 2, 5:30 pm - 7:30 pm

Best Sex Writing 2010 book party

Join Best Sex Writing 2010 editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and local contributor Diana Joseph, author of I’m Sorry You Feel That Way, for a reading and book party. The book collects the best sex journalism and essays of the year on topics ranging from teen sexting to penis size to the world's thinnest condoms to voyeurism, swinging, Tijuana bibles, sex work, crazy sex laws and Twilight as "abstinence porn," all centered on the them of sexual outlaws. Co-sponsored by Smitten Kitten; books will be available for sale and sex toys will be raffled off. Music by erotic bluegrass band Courtney McClean and The Dirty Curls; free cupcakes by Cake Eater Bakery.

Bedlam Theatre
1501 S. 6th St., Minneapolis

March 6, 2-4 pm
Erotic Writing Workshop Taught by Rachel Kramer Bussel
Shag, 108 Roebling (at N. 6th), Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Acclaimed erotica author and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel (Bottoms Up, Spanked, Peep Show, The Mile High Club) teaches an erotic writing workshop covering characterization, point of view, selling your work and more. Bring pen/paper or laptop for in-class exercises. Includes handouts and free cupcakes.
Admission: $20
Info: 347-721-3302
Email: weloveshag@gmail.com
URL: http://www.weloveshag.com

Portland, Oregon cupcake meetup and sex reading

I'm prepping for my mini book tour for Best Sex Writing 2010 in addition to party hopping, restaurant-going, fiction writing and erotica teaching. And my job and the gym and everything else!

This just in:

I just spoke with the staff over at Saint Cupcake and we're set to have a very informal meetup there on Saturday, February 20th from 2 to 4 pm. Cupcakes Take the Cake will buy the first dozen cupcakes, and after that it will be a cash bar (everyone buys their own cupcakes).

I'll try to get there early and save us some seats since they don't take reservations!

If you have questions, email me at cupcakestakethecake at gmail.com - and I am doing a Seattle meetup at Trophy Cupcakes on the evening of February 25th, details TK as to time and which location.

Saint Cupcake
407 nw 17th ave @ flanders
portland oregon 97209



Best Sex Writing 2010 reading
February 22, 7:30-8:30 pm

Reading from Best Sex Writing 2010 (Cleis Press)
featuring editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and contributors Kerry Cohen (Loose Girl), writing as Michelle Perrot, reading from "Anatomy of an Affair," about the affair she plans to have and the difference between married sex and an affair, and Janet Hardy (The Ethical Slut), reading from "The Portal," about cunts and their relationship to sexuality. FREE and free cupcakes!
Powell's Books
1005 W. Burnside, Portland, Oregon
Info: 503-228-4651

Minneapolis Best Sex Writing 2010 book party, March 2nd

The first, and so far, only, book party for Best Sex Writing 2010. IF I can swing it I will do something similar in SF and NYC, but if not, at this point I so beyond don't care. I have other books to get ready for, but for now, we have a nice little 4-city tour (Eugene, Portland, Seattle and Minneapolis) cooked up. This one will be the most fun and I get to hang with my cupcake friends...if I make my flight. Obviously my big goal this year is to make ALL my flights.



March 2, 5:30-7:30 pm
Best Sex Writing 2010 book party
Join Best Sex Writing 2010 editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and local contributor Diana Joseph, author of I’m Sorry You Feel That Way, for a reading and book party. The book collects the best sex journalism and essays of the year on topics ranging from teen sexting to penis size to the world's thinnest condoms to voyeurism, swinging, Tijuana bibles, sex work, crazy sex laws and Twilight as "abstinence porn," all centered on the them of sexual outlaws. Co-sponsored by Smitten Kitten; books will be available for sale and sex toys will be raffled off. Music by erotic bluegrass band Courtney McClean and The Dirty Curls; free cupcakes by Cake Eater Bakery.
Bedlam Theatre, 1501 S. 6th St., Minneapolis
http://www.bedlamtheatre.org/

In case you missed it...

Jezebel reviewed Best Sex Writing 2010 and said, in part:

BDSM and Playing With Race," by Mollena Williams is as titillating in its violation of taboos as it is informative in its portrayal of the BDSM community...Another standout is Betty Dodson's "Sexual Outlaw," about her post-menopausal discovery of a lesbian S/M support group: it's both a powerful refutation of the notion that women over 50 aren't sexy, and a sexy exploration of the idea that fucking is all about power.

Introduction: My Favorite Sexual Outlaws by Rachel Kramer Bussel (read it here)

The Girl Who Only Sometimes Said No Diana Joseph
Secrets of the Phallus: Why is the Penis Shaped Like That? Jesse Bering
The Vagina Dialogues Johanna Gohmann
Sex Laws That Can Really Screw You Ellen Friedrichs
What Really Turns Men On John DeVore
It’s a Shame About Ray by Kirk Read
Race Play Mollena Williams
Remembering Pubic Hair Paul Krassner
Sexual Outlaw Betty Dodson
Go Thin or Bust: How Berkeley’s Mayer Laboratories won the battle of the thin condoms Rachel Swan
‘Sex Surrogates’ put personal touch on therapy Brian Alexander
What’s The Matter With Teen Sexting? Judith Levine
The Anatomy of An Affair Michelle Perrot
The Portal Janet Hardy
Bite Me! (Or Don’t) Christine Seifert
Hot. Digital. Sexual. Underground. David Black
Loving Lesbians by William Georgiades
Lust and Lechery in Eight Pages: The Story of the Tijuana Bibles Chris Hall
The Trouble With Safe Sex Seth Michael Donsky
Piece of Ass Monica Shores
The Future of Sex Ed Violet Blue
A Cunning Linguist John Thursday
SWL(actating) F Seeks Sex With No Strings Attached Rachel Sarah
Toward a Performance Model of Sex Thomas Macaulay Millar
The Client Voyeur debauchette

You can order Best Sex Writing 2010 from:

Indiebound

Amazon.com

Bn.com

Powells

Snail mail list

I’m creating a proper Excel spreadsheet for my snail mail list since I have so many postcards, for Best Sex Writing 2010, my boob casting at SHAG, and down the road Please, Sir and other hot covers. If you’d like to be on my list, send your address to rachelkb at gmail.com with “snail mail list” in the subject line. US only, and please note that the postcards are sent as is, so if you don’t want your mail carrier or whoever to see it, don’t sign up. Thanks!

FREE Best Sex Writing 2010 postcards now available

We just finished booking the Oregon Best Sex Writing 2010 events - Sunday, February 21st at Tsunami Books in Eugene (2585 Willamette Street) and Monday, February 22nd at 7:30 at Powell's Books in Portland (1005 W. Burnside,), both free, featuring Michelle Perrot ("Anatomy of an Affair") and Janet Hardy ("The Portal"). Plus Mollena Williams ("BDSM and Playing With Race") reads March 18th at BDSM Night at In The Flesh Reading Series. Hopefully there will also be a reading in New York around that time (with Betty Dodson!). Booking Seattle (post-Portland), Minneapolis (probably March), Salt Lake City (probably March), and San Francisco (??) too.

Want your FREE Best Sex Writing 2010 postcard? Send your US (sorry, US only) mailing address to bestsexwriting at gmail.com with "Postcard" in the subject line.



We just finalized the Table of Contents and WOW is this book going to be amazing!

Introduction: My Favorite Sexual Outlaws by Rachel Kramer Bussel (scroll down to read)

The Girl Who Only Sometimes Said No Diana Joseph
Secrets of the Phallus: Why is the Penis Shaped Like That? Jesse Bering
The Vagina Dialogues Johanna Gohmann
Sex Laws That Can Really Screw You Ellen Friedrichs
What Really Turns Men On John DeVore
It’s a Shame About Ray by Kirk Read
BDSM and Playing with Race Mollena Williams
Remembering Pubic Hair Paul Krassner
Sexual Outlaw Betty Dodson
Go Thin or Bust: How Berkeley's Mayer Laboratories won the battle of the thin condoms Rachel Swan
‘Sex Surrogates’ put personal touch on therapy Brian Alexander
What’s The Matter With Teen Sexting? Judith Levine
The Anatomy of An Affair Michelle Perrot
The Portal Janet Hardy
Bite Me! (Or Don’t) Christine Seifert
Hot. Digital. Sexual. Underground. David Black
Loving Lesbians by William Georgiades
Lust and Lechery in Eight Pages: The Story of the Tijuana Bibles Chris Hall
The Trouble With Safe Sex Seth Michael Donsky
Piece of Ass Monica Shores
The Future of Sex Ed Violet Blue
A Cunning Linguist John Thursday
SWL(actating) F Seeks Sex With No Strings Attached Rachel Sarah
Toward a Performance Model of Sex Thomas MacAulay Millar
The Client Voyeur debauchette

Best Sex Writing 2010 Introduction: "My Favorite Sexual Outlaws"

If there is a theme to this year’s anthology, I’d like to think it’s one of being a sexual outlaw, echoing the title of Betty Dodson’s essay. Because it’s the outlaws who, I’d like to think, are getting the most out of sex. That’s not to say that we should all be off having unconventional sex for the sake of being an outlaw, but rather that instead of listening to and blindly adhering to the conventional wisdom about sex, we need to create our own.

We see this theme in the pieces here about sex work, which defy the “sex worker as victim” trope to evoke new ideas about sex work and the people who engage in it as well as those who purchase sex. In “It’s a Shame About Ray,” Kirk Read is actually the one left wanting, when his client, Ray, knows exactly what he wants, and gets it. Read is left a bit wistful, wishing Ray had occupied him for a full evening rather than a mere two hours. In many ways, debauchette experiences the same thing when she’s hired by a voyeur. “The intensity reminded me what it felt like to want, and not have. He hadn’t touched me, but in all the silence and focused attention, I’d slowly let go of my resistance, transformed from defensive affectation to open, raw lust,” she writes.

John DeVore, one of the few straight men writing a regular sex column (for TheFrisky.com), challenges his fellow males to fess up to not necessarily lusting after Megan Fox—or at least, not exclusively lusting after Megan Fox. Paul Krassner takes us back in time to an era when Brazilian bikini waxes weren’t the norm, lamenting the loss of pubic hair. For William Georgiades, stepping out of the straight male norm and into Northampton, Massachusetts, where “I soon found that the only people who were making sense to me were the die-hard gay grrrls.” He navigates the tension between being a straight man, a breeder, and falling for women who sometimes, maybe, wanted him, in “Loving Lesbians,” one of several essays here that defy our need to put labels neatly around sexuality. (Betty Dodson says it much more emphatically, giving herself this advice when it came to the dreaded “S/M” label: “Embrace the label to destroy its power over you.”)

One of the most cherished tropes about sex is that monogamy, and marriage, are what will make us happy. That the two are intertwined is a given even in an era when acts like BDSM and alternative sexualities are more accepted. That’s why a piece like “The Anatomy of an Affair” by Michelle Perrot (a pseudonym) is so powerful. She’s claiming her marriage and her sexual autonomy, stating:

I don’t want 1950s-style advice about “date nights” and lingerie and role-playing. I don’t want to “spice up my marriage.” I want rough sex. Dirty, spit in his mouth sex. Wet, disgusting, nasty talk about pussies and cum and fuck-me sex. The kind of hate fucking where afterward you can’t move. And the bottom line is that I don’t want that kind of sex with my husband, this man I love.

Each of these authors has inspired me to think about sex in a new way, to not accept the norms, whether it’s Diana Joseph defending her slutty self to both herself and her son, Judith Levine reassuring us that sexting is not the evil of teenage life it’s thought to be, or Rachel Sarah weighing in on the erotic allure of breastfeeding. Noted sex and tech expert Violet Blue schools us on where our country needs to go if our sex education is truly going to serve the people it needs to, while Jesse Bering giving us a science lesson all about cock (okay, he calls it the phallus or the penis, but cock is my personal favorite word for that particular body part).

Some of the pieces here may unnerve you: Mollena Williams’s extended meditation on “BDSM and Playing with Race” is thoughtful, honest, brave and at times, disturbing. I’ve included it because this is one of the most taboo topics, along with the realities of safer sex that Seth Michael Donsky uncovers. Williams calls humiliation a “delicate balancing act,” and while the specific type of race-based play she’s talking about takes that to an extreme, I think sex itself, and sexual fantasy, are so often very delicate balancing acts where we are trying to make sense of the insensible, or perhaps, the opposite, letting ourselves lose our senses only to find something that defies logic, sense, smarts, and instead stems from the body. “For me, humiliation is a broad-brush full-bore way for me to feel the worst of how I feel about myself, give it away to someone, and have them hold it. Once someone else holds it up for me, mirrors it back, shows me the depth of my own feelings, my self-deprecation, I can see it for what it is,” writes Williams.

Each of these writers brings a powerful way of looking at sex to this book. I’d love to hear what you think and welcome your suggestions for future editions of Best Sex Writing—feel free to contact me at rachel@bestsexwriting.com and read more about the series and my guidelines at bestsexwriting.com.

I’d also like to add that some people have commented that the erotic covers on these books trick people into thinking there will be more arousing material than what’s actually inside. To me, though, as an ultimate voyeur, reading about other people’s turn-ons, unearthing their sexual secrets, seeing how the other halves live, is not just educational or entertainment. It enhances my sex life because it leads me to new possibilities. These authors, the smart, daring, provocative sexual outlaws, have taught me about biology, nonmonogamy, cybersex, and so much more. I hope these essays and articles speak to your brain, as well as other organs, and at the very least, clue you in that sex is a lot bigger, broader and more complicated than you ever expected.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City

It is available for pre-order from:

IndieBound

Amazon

Bn.com

Powell's

For now, please check out:

www.bestsexwriting.com - info on all the editions, including writing guidelines for Best Sex Writing 2011

Best Sex Writing 2009

Best Sex Writing 2008

An affair that doesn't involve Tiger Woods

As you may or may not know, the theme of Best Sex Writing 2010 is "Sexual Outlaws," taken from Betty Dodson's essay of the same name (click above to read the introduction) that's in the book. In a week when affairs, Tiger Woods' in this case, are omnipresent in the news, let's have a look at a wanted affair, one that nobody is going to have to usher a major public apology for because its author is claiming it happily, lustily, and intelligently before it happens.



Here's an excerpt from "Anatomy of an Affair" by Michelle Perrot - I will have more information from the author about this very hot topic. Media: Best Sex Writing 2010 review copies are available now. Email rachelkb at gmail.com or Brenda Knight at Cleis Press at bknight at cleispress.com with your publication and mailing address.

I don’t want 1950s-style advice about “date nights” and lingerie and role-playing. I don’t want to “spice up my marriage.” I want rough sex. Dirty, spit in his mouth sex. Wet, disgusting, nasty talk about pussies and cum and fuck-me sex. The kind of hate fucking where afterward you can’t move. And the bottom line is that I don’t want that kind of sex with my husband, this man I love.

For a number of years, of course, I assumed I would forgo this sort of sex. It was worth it to keep my marriage intact. Marriage is about compromise. It’s about some degree of sacrifice. Honestly, if what I would have to sacrifice were something other than the sort of sex that most fills me, I’d be happy to oblige. But sexual desire is so intensely personal, so completely something you don’t control. I can’t just decide that I will no longer crave that sort of sex, and our desires don’t always fit well with the monogamy our culture demands.

The running psychological theory is that we eroticize what has shamed, hurt, or frightened us, that our “lovemap cartographic systems,” as described by John Money, the famous John Hopkins psychologist, are learned. If that’s true, it could be argued that I spent my childhood feeling helpless, unable to control the ways in which my parents emotionally wounded me. As the years went by I tried to control the world where it felt out of control. I pursued men vigorously. I yelled at them when they hurt me, tried to force them into being who I wanted them to be. These were the men I had the best sex with, the ones who wanted to make clear who was really in charge once we got in the bedroom, the kind who made me go blind mid-orgasm, who told me my pussy was so wet and their cocks were aching with need for me, who smacked my ass while we did it from behind. These were the kind of men I never would have married. I wanted to get married, to share my life with someone.

I chose my husband because he was not one of these men.

Best Sex Writing 2010 will be in stores in about two weeks and we are finalizing the 6-city book tour now (New York, San Francisco, Eugene, Portland, Minneapolis and Salt Lake City, with other cities pending).

You can also read more at the Best Sex Writing 2010 blog.

Available from your local independent bookstore via IndieBound or:

Amazon

Bn.com

Powells

FREE copy of Best Sex Writing 2008 to first 10 Best Sex Writing 2010 pre-orders

Yes, it's true...the first 10 people to pre-order Best Sex Writing 2010 from any venue (which will be available in mid-December) will get a FREE copy of Best Sex Writing 2008 directly from me (US addresses only). Best Sex Writing 2009 was the winner of the IPPY Award for Best Sex/Relationships Book this year. Find out about all the editions at www.bestsexwriting.com - just forward your receipt to rachel at bestsexwriting.com - I'll post once the 10 winners are secured and we will have plenty of video interviews and Q&As with the contributors.

Best Sex Writing 2010

Foreword by Esther Perel
Introduction: My Favorite Sexual Outlaws by Rachel Kramer Bussel (click to read)

The Girl Who Only Sometimes Said No Diana Joseph
Secrets of the Phallus: Why is the Penis Shaped Like That? Jesse Bering
The Vagina Dialogues Johanna Gohmann
Sex Laws That Can Really Screw You Ellen Friedrichs
What Really Turns Men On John DeVore
It’s a Shame About Ray by Kirk Read
BDSM and Playing with Race Mollena Williams
Remembering Pubic Hair Paul Krassner
Sexual Outlaw Betty Dodson
Go Thin or Bust: How Berkeley’s Mayer Laboratories won the battle of the thin condoms Rachel Swan
‘Sex Surrogates’ put personal touch on therapy Brian Alexander
What’s The Matter With Teen Sexting? Judith Levine
The Anatomy of An Affair Michelle Perrot
The Portal Janet Hardy
Bite Me! (Or Don’t) Christine Seifert
Hot. Digital. Sexual. Underground. David Black
Loving Lesbians by William Georgiades
Lust and Lechery in Eight Pages: The Story of the Tijuana Bibles Chris Hall
The Trouble With Safe Sex Seth Michael Donsky
Piece of Ass Monica Shores
The Future of Sex Ed Violet Blue
A Cunning Linguist John Thursday
SWL(actating) F Seeks Sex With No Strings Attached Rachel Sarah
Toward a Performance Model of Sex Thomas MacAulay Millar
The Client Voyeur debauchette

Best Sex Writing 2008

Introduction: One Little Word, Infinite Interpretations (click to read)

Big Mouth Strikes Again: An Oral Report • Rachel Shukert
Double Your Panic • Kevin Keck
Battle of the Sexless • Ashlea Halpern
Kink.com and Porn Hysteria: The Lie of Unbiased Reporting • Violet Blue
The Prince of Porn and the Junk-Food Queen from Insatiable • Gael Greene
Tough Love • Kelly Rouba
Dirty Old Women • Ariel Levy
Stalking the Stalkers • Kelly Kyrik
Sex in Iran • Pari Esfandiari and Richard Buskin
Surface Tensions • Jen Cross
Sex and the Single Septuagenarian • Liz Langley
The Pink Ghetto (A Four-Part Series) • Lux Nightmare and Melissa Gira
To Have or Have Not: Sex on the Wedding Night • Jill Eisenstadt
How Insensitive • Paul Festa
The Study of Sex • Amy Andre
Dangerous Dildos • Tristan Taormino
Absolut Nude • Miriam Datskovsky
The Hung List from Hung: A Meditation on the Measure of Black Men in America • Scott Poulson-Bryant
The Glass Closet • Michael Musto
Menstruation: Porn’s Last Taboo • Trixie Fontaine
Buying Obedience: My Visit to a Pro Submissive • Greta Christina

Twilight article in Best Sex Writing 2010 highlighted

Great early press for Christine Seifert's article "Bite Me! (Or Don't)" which I republished from Bitch in Best Sex Writing 2010 from Westminster College in Salt Lake City, Utah. It's a big cupcake city so maybe I should look into a reading there. (Yes, I know they spelled my name wrong.)

With teenage girls and middle-aged women alike waiting with bated breath for the premiere of New Moon this week, the announcement of Christy Seifert’s inclusion in Best Sex Writing 2010 couldn’t come at a better time. Not only has her article Bite Me! (Or Don’t) won her national acclaim, but it has elevated her as an expert on the ever-popular young adult book series known as Twilight.

Being recognized as one of the year’s best sex writers wasn’t exactly what this Westminster associate professor of communications had in mind when she wrote the article since it actually explores the sexiness of not having sex. Her piece delves into an analysis of a new sub-genre she coins “abstinence porn,” which is becoming increasing popular.

“The Twilight series has created a surprising new sub-genre of teen romance: It’s abstinence porn, sensational, erotic, and titillating,” said Seifert. “And in light of all the recent real-world attention on abstinence-only education, it’s surprising how successful this new genre is. Twilight actually convinces us that self-denial is hot.”

It’s this discussion of self-denial, as well as Edward and Bella’s abstinence from sex and biting that peaked Rachel Kramer Bussell’s attention when she decided to include Seifert in her newest anthology: Best Sex Writing 2010. Bussell describes the 25 authors included in her 2010 book as “sexual outlaws” – those who have inspired her to think about sex in a new way and not to accept the norms.

2 books for the price of one if you act fast

As those who read my latest newsletter know, I'm having a little recession special...if you are one of the first ten people to pre-order or buy Best Sex Writing 2010 I will send you a FREE copy of Best Sex Writing 2008, featuring Gael Greene, Michael Musto, Rachel Shukert, Violet Blue and more.



Just send your receipt to rachelkb at gmail.com - if it's a brick and mortar store, you can send it to me at Prince St. Station, PO Box 39, New York, NY 10012.

Readings for Best Sex Writing 2010 will take place in Portland (February 22nd) and New York, Minneapolis and San Francico (dates TBA). I'm so excited about this book.

Bestsexwriting.com launches

Everything you ever wanted to know about the Best Sex Writing series published by Cleis Press and (now) edited by me is now online at bestsexwriting.com - authors, if I don't ilnk to you or messed up your URL, email me at rachel at bestsexwriting.com

You can also find guidelines for the 2011 edition there. Major thanks to Brian Van for the web designing and putting up with my many requests. I'm so excited and told Brian tonight that if it's that easy, I should make more websites.

We'll be launching author video interviews very soon too, starting with the incredibly Diana Joseph, author of I'm Sorry You Feel That Way, of Mankato, Minnesota, who's reading this Thursday along with Susan Shapiro, Amy Sohn, Julie Metz, Joshua Lyon, Kerry Cohen and me at In The Flesh Reading Series. Her piece, which opens the 2010 edition, is from her book and is called "The Girl Who Only Sometimes Said No." It's amazing. She's the kind of honest, unapologetic mom I hope to be someday.