Sex writing panel today at UCLA, LA Times Festival of Books and Coco de Mer lust

I went to the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books
I'm impressed that there are signs all over to use the hashtag #latfob on Twitter and to log in on Foursquare:



I really enjoyed AWP, and BEA is my favorite part of the year, but there is really something to be said for a festival that is so welcoming of anyone. You don't need special knowledge of the authors, don't have to be up on all the latest literature. The room was packed for Memoir: All The Single Ladies yesterday, featuring Amy Alkon (I See Rude People), Julie Klausner (I Don't Care About Your Band), Giulia Melucci (I Loved, I Lost, I Made Spaghetti, which has a blurb by Mario Batali!) and Sascha Rothchild, whose memoir How To Get Divorced by 30: My Misguided Attempt at a Starter Marriage I bought and am enjoying. (She signed it, "Congrats on avoiding these steps!") I live Tweeted a lot of it so won't recap it all now.

From the Facebook invite I made, but apparently John Freeman is stranded by ash, sadly. Just go to the Ticketmaster booth at UCLA and tickets are totally free, no service charge. Love that. Panel is today, April 25, 3-4 pm. After, I'll be signing copies of The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories.

Panel at LA Times Festival of Books. Code: 2034. Moderated by Rachel Resnick (Love Junkie). Panelists: Susie Bright (Bitten, X: The Erotic Treasury), Rachel Kramer Bussel (Please, Sir), Stephen Elliott (The Adderall Diaries), John Freeman (editor, Granta). Free but must get ticket. See http://events.latimes.com/festivalofbooks/program-schedule/sunday-panels/#franz for more information.

Speaking of Granta, I swooned over the entirety of New York's Coco de Mer store at their sex issue release party. See all my photos here. Follow @Cocodemerusa on Twitter for special events and news.




Yes, Sir and Spanked were in the most gorgeous displays I've ever seen, complete with beautiful paddles.


Rulers, all the better to spank you with my dear...




I'd be hard pressed not to want to lick anyone wearing this stuff! It comes in an elegant bag with a risque quote on it and smells like coconut and fig and is meant to be for the bath but you can just wear it and smell edible all the time!


pussy lover plate

FREE copy of Best Sex Writing 2008 to first 10 Best Sex Writing 2010 pre-orders

Yes, it's true...the first 10 people to pre-order Best Sex Writing 2010 from any venue (which will be available in mid-December) will get a FREE copy of Best Sex Writing 2008 directly from me (US addresses only). Best Sex Writing 2009 was the winner of the IPPY Award for Best Sex/Relationships Book this year. Find out about all the editions at www.bestsexwriting.com - just forward your receipt to rachel at bestsexwriting.com - I'll post once the 10 winners are secured and we will have plenty of video interviews and Q&As with the contributors.

Best Sex Writing 2010

Foreword by Esther Perel
Introduction: My Favorite Sexual Outlaws by Rachel Kramer Bussel (click to read)

The Girl Who Only Sometimes Said No Diana Joseph
Secrets of the Phallus: Why is the Penis Shaped Like That? Jesse Bering
The Vagina Dialogues Johanna Gohmann
Sex Laws That Can Really Screw You Ellen Friedrichs
What Really Turns Men On John DeVore
It’s a Shame About Ray by Kirk Read
BDSM and Playing with Race Mollena Williams
Remembering Pubic Hair Paul Krassner
Sexual Outlaw Betty Dodson
Go Thin or Bust: How Berkeley’s Mayer Laboratories won the battle of the thin condoms Rachel Swan
‘Sex Surrogates’ put personal touch on therapy Brian Alexander
What’s The Matter With Teen Sexting? Judith Levine
The Anatomy of An Affair Michelle Perrot
The Portal Janet Hardy
Bite Me! (Or Don’t) Christine Seifert
Hot. Digital. Sexual. Underground. David Black
Loving Lesbians by William Georgiades
Lust and Lechery in Eight Pages: The Story of the Tijuana Bibles Chris Hall
The Trouble With Safe Sex Seth Michael Donsky
Piece of Ass Monica Shores
The Future of Sex Ed Violet Blue
A Cunning Linguist John Thursday
SWL(actating) F Seeks Sex With No Strings Attached Rachel Sarah
Toward a Performance Model of Sex Thomas MacAulay Millar
The Client Voyeur debauchette

Best Sex Writing 2008

Introduction: One Little Word, Infinite Interpretations (click to read)

Big Mouth Strikes Again: An Oral Report • Rachel Shukert
Double Your Panic • Kevin Keck
Battle of the Sexless • Ashlea Halpern
Kink.com and Porn Hysteria: The Lie of Unbiased Reporting • Violet Blue
The Prince of Porn and the Junk-Food Queen from Insatiable • Gael Greene
Tough Love • Kelly Rouba
Dirty Old Women • Ariel Levy
Stalking the Stalkers • Kelly Kyrik
Sex in Iran • Pari Esfandiari and Richard Buskin
Surface Tensions • Jen Cross
Sex and the Single Septuagenarian • Liz Langley
The Pink Ghetto (A Four-Part Series) • Lux Nightmare and Melissa Gira
To Have or Have Not: Sex on the Wedding Night • Jill Eisenstadt
How Insensitive • Paul Festa
The Study of Sex • Amy Andre
Dangerous Dildos • Tristan Taormino
Absolut Nude • Miriam Datskovsky
The Hung List from Hung: A Meditation on the Measure of Black Men in America • Scott Poulson-Bryant
The Glass Closet • Michael Musto
Menstruation: Porn’s Last Taboo • Trixie Fontaine
Buying Obedience: My Visit to a Pro Submissive • Greta Christina

2 books for the price of one if you act fast

As those who read my latest newsletter know, I'm having a little recession special...if you are one of the first ten people to pre-order or buy Best Sex Writing 2010 I will send you a FREE copy of Best Sex Writing 2008, featuring Gael Greene, Michael Musto, Rachel Shukert, Violet Blue and more.



Just send your receipt to rachelkb at gmail.com - if it's a brick and mortar store, you can send it to me at Prince St. Station, PO Box 39, New York, NY 10012.

Readings for Best Sex Writing 2010 will take place in Portland (February 22nd) and New York, Minneapolis and San Francico (dates TBA). I'm so excited about this book.

10 page article on Best Sex Writing 2008

Check out this amazing 10-page story on Best Sex Writing 2008, featuring interviews with me, Gael Greene, Michael Musto, Greta Christina, and other contributors. As appeared in First City Magazine, New Delhi, India. Visit their blog at www.firstcitydelhi.blogspot.com

San Francisco Best Sex Writing 2008 reading tonight and MUST READ "Ugly Violet" column

Best Sex Writing 2008 Reading
Thursday, March 27, 7 pm
Best Sex Writing 2008 features the best writing from across the sexual spectrum. Hear contributors talk about sex in academia, mainstream porn reporting, hiring a professional submissive, sexual abuse and butch/femme, circumcision, and working in the field of sex. Hosted by Carol Queen, with contributors Amy Andre ("The Study of Sex"), Violet Blue ("Kink.com and Porn Hysteria"), Jen Cross ("Surface Tensions"), Paul Festa ("How Insensitive"), and Melissa Gira ("The Pink Ghetto"). Read more about the book and interviews with contributors at http://bestsexwriting2008.wordpress.com
At the Center for Sex and Culture (http://www.sexandculture.org), 1519 Mission St. (between 11th and South Van Ness), San Francisco
Free (donation requested)




I interviewed the amazing Violet Blue for the Best Sex Writing 2008 blog. Also, you MUST read her latest San Francisco Chronicle column "Ugly Violet," about how women are treated (and denigrated and sexualized and all that bullshit) online. It's brilliant.

What prompted your piece "Kink.com and Porn Hysteria: The Lie of Unbiased Reporting?" I know you were reacting to articles about Kink.com specifically, but how long had you been noticing this trend of unbiased reporting?

I write for the SF Chronicle; I'm their sex columnist. and on the same day my column ran "Open Source Sex" I had an interview with sex-positive alt porn director Eon McKai up. it was a great interview that showed the breaking down of porn's redundant gender and physical stereotypes, the sex-positivity and inclusiveness of modern sex attitudes into the mainstream (which had been going on for a while, I was just drawing attention to the newest wave of it). porn from the POV of the makers, not the critics who don't know what's really going on. that week, local BDSM empire (and all-inclusive, sex-positive, politically minded local porn company) Kink.com had purchased the SF Armory for its new studio location. the Chron's website bumped my column to the bottom of the page and ran a totally anti-porn, completely biased piece about a staged "protest" in front of the Armory -- many have said that even the number of protesters stated in the piece was incorrect and more than the few who showed up. the website showed photos of Kink employees who were there to wash the building and called them "protesters" (though later corrected their mistakes).

the piece was so anti-porn, and especially anti-kink, I saw red. especially since Kink is one of the most incredible places to work -- they threat their employees better than any company I've seen (except for Google), the performers are treated with respect, paid really well, have hair and makeup people and are regarded as Olympic athletes. the cleanliness standards should be envied by every restaurant in San Francisco and copied by every porn company in the world. and the owner's mission is to demystify kinky sex, normalize it, and make the world a better place for all sexual outsiders for doing do. the Chron's hit piece disgusted me, the rest of mainstream media predictably followed suit, and I wrote a powerful response.

Read the whole interview

Sunshine, SAD, Miami photos, and a cupcake skirt

Yes, it's a random giant giraffe at Miami International Airport - I have no idea why it's there.


Did you know they made Hello Kitty humidifiers? Neither did I. Taken at Target.

I know that I have a whole blog dedicated to cupcakes and that many of you read it, but I couldn't resist sharing this amazing photo, especially after reading about a man choking to death on cupcakes. Also, Miami continues to be sunny and gorgeous and has helped me forget a bit of the stress and guilt I carry around all the time, though as amazing as the sun feels, I am ready to get home and get back to my responsibilities but am really glad I came. I've been hanging out with a super-fun 4-year-old who is totally sweet and has also helped remind me that I need to chill.

Last week was a rough week. Last Sunday I went to see a relative who's dying, and while I thought I'd been prepared, I really wasn't. I've seen sick people before, but never like that, and it threw me. She didn't recognize us and I didn't know what to say or do. Then there was uncertainty about whether all my readers could make it and much back and forth about who might be a good replacement, and that was really draining, on top of all the other stuff I'm working on and some other drama that happened on Thursday that I just wasn't expecting. Thursday night I got home from In The Flesh and just saw on my couch and bawled. It felt cathartic in its way, but I also felt really hopeless and was ready to quit running the reading series, which I still very well may do after this year. I'm not sure I'm very good at it, or if I am, whether the stress is worth it.

It's funny cause I actually haven't minded the winter; I was thrilled to wear my little purple bear hat, and plan to replace it soon, but I guess maybe SAD does affect me because just being somewhere where you don't have to bundle up and people are way more chill has made me calmer. I think last week it was just a combination of carrying around a lot of uncertainty about who was reading and just the general buildup of deadlines and never feeling like I'm doing enough. I'm still not, in the sense that I have several things that are overdue, but I'm making some headway and the next week or two should help get me back on track. I'm actually kindof glad that happened because it showed me how bad it's gotten, something I often fail to realize trudging through the day to day, and it helps me realize where I don't want to go again and if that means dropping the reading series, so be it. At the same time, I really enjoy the networking aspect of running it, of meeting new authors all the time, getting to share their work and the camaraderie, I just have to realize that I don't have to feed every person umpteen snacks and be so stressed about every little aspect of it, especially the parts I can't control.


View from where I stayed in downtown Miami, taken Sunday morning


Me at Books & Books with my new bag - duffel bag or purse? To be determined. I will say it's perfect for carry-on.

The reading at Books & Books was incredible; not only did 150 people show up, but the caliber of readers was incredible high and it was really varied and just incredible. Any pangs I had about not getting to be taped for Cinemax were forgotten. Yesterday I got the grand tour of South Beach and surroundings and we strolled along Lincoln Road and I heard about Herald Hunt, which I totally want to return for.

For those in New York, do check out another reading from Sex for America: Politically Inspired Erotica with editor Stephen Elliott and contributors Nick Flynn and Jonathan Ames tonight at The Museum of Sex. Even if you were there on Thursday for In The Flesh, they were so incredible that I'd go see them all again. Also, I'm editing Best Sex Writing 2009 which I am so thrilled about (click through for the call for submissions). I'm trying to get myself more on the non-fiction track and this vote of confidence from Cleis Press means a lot to me. I'd also love any recommendations for anything you read that might work for the book - send them to bestsexwriting2009 at gmail.com. I haven't made any official decisions, but I already have a few pieces on my wishlist. I think the biggest challenge last year was securing permissions, but now that I know the ropes, I have a better handle on that.

So back to cupcake craziness. This was made by Seattle's Trophy Cupcakes for Urban Unveiled. Trophy is also on Flickr with lots more fabulous cupcake photos (though, to be honest, none as fabulous as this one!).

Best Sex Writing 2008 party footage and Q&As at The Publishing Spot

My friend Jason Boog over at his excellent writing/publishing-themed website The Publishing Spot did a 5-part Q&A with me (last one's up tomorrow) and also has some footage from the Best Sex Writing 2008 party:



How to Build a Better Reading Public

How to go from short stories to a novel

How to cope with the stress of freelance life

How to write about sex without sounding like a spam email

Also, in separate but related news, Jezebel (a multiple Bloggie nominee!)has a great post up by Jessica Grose, with lots of debate in the comments, called "Shiksa Studies: Why Don't Jewish Women Get Any Pop Cultural Love?" and it includes an excerpt from my interview with Rachel Shukert about Jewish girls and blowjobs.



From Jezebel:

Radar is declaring, in its typically amusing and tongue-in-cheek fashion, that this year's hottest accessory for shiksas is a Jewish husband. You know what? Tongue-in-cheek or not, I'm over Jewish dudes getting all the love. You never hear about Jewish women being the hottest, well, anything; while Woody Allen is off bagging WASP goddesses Mariel Hemmingway and Diane Keaton in Manhattan, cultural stereotypes of female Jews show us to be fleshy, frumpy, sexless overbearing mothers with big noses and unruly hair. Rachel Shukert, the far from frumpy sex writer, thinks that "Jewish men have really had a large part in disseminating those [negative] stereotypes" of Jewish women.

Read the rest

Best Sex Writing 2008 party tonight! (and interview)

I'm still a bit under the weather - way better than before, but still waking up coughing/with my throat ticklish and just not right. Basically, it sucks but I am doing my best to fight it, mentally and physically. Am gonna be doing some major Dayquil/Nyquil this week and am still moving pretty slowly, but I'm getting there and hope to be fully better by next weekend.

Please come out tonight if you can, it's gonna be fun and I'm so thrilled to have these women reading with me!

Here's the first of a few interviews I've done about Best Sex Writing 2008, with Funky Brown Chick. We're also being interviewed tomorrow for a new website and for the Bat Segundo podcast. Also see the Best Sex Writing 2008 blog for contributor interviews and sex in the news roundups.



So please don't miss our reading and party, where there will also be cupcakes like the ones pictured below (those are peanut butter chocolate, there will also be strawberry cream cheese ones, free!):

BEST SEX WRITING 2008 BOOK RELEASE PARTY AND READING!
Tuesday, January 22, 7 pm - 9 pm
At Rapture Cafe, 200 Avenue A (between 12th and 13th), NYC, FREE
Featuring editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, Rachel Shukert ("Big Mouth Strikes Again: An Oral Report"), Lux Nightmare ("The Pink Ghetto"), Miriam Datskovsky ("Absolut Nude"), and Liz Langley ("Sex and the Single Septuagenarian"). Free cupcakes from Kumquat Cupcakery will be served, and books will be available for sale and signing.

Rachel Shukert on Jewish girls and blowjobs

Do read my awesome interview with Best Sex Writing 2008 contributor Rachel Shukert, pictured below, about Jewish girls and blowjobs.

January events! Derek and Romaine tonight, In The Flesh, Best Sex Writing, Erotic Love Letters

It's a busy month kicking off a busy year, filled with many deadlines and many events...here's what's on tap for January. I'll provide the February recap once these events are over, or you can always check my site's calendar (needs updating at the moment, sorry) or my RSS calendar on the left side of this blog. Lots of travel coming up, about one event per month for the next little while. There's also a Cupcakes Take the Cake Meetup this Saturday at Out of the Kitchen, and an event called Kiss and Tell on January 16th at Arena Studios that I don't have any more info on, but, uh, I'll be there!



Tonight (Thursday, January 10th), despite this evil cold, I'm going on the Derek and Romaine show on Sirius OutQ to talk about Best Sex Writing 2008. I will try not to steer the conversation too far into Romaine mommyland, but I may not be able to help myself. Speaking of which, there were soooo many adorable babies and little kids at the U.S. Embassy on Monday. Yes, obviously I was very jealous but I'm biding my time. 2010 or 2011 maybe? Then I can start becoming a baby factory (I definitely want more than one).

IN THE FLESH EROTIC READING SERIES
BLOGGER SEX NIGHT
THURSDAY, JANUARY 17th at 8 PM
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET, NYC
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey, http://www.happyendinglounge.com)
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676

In The Flesh hosts its first all blogger night, with a range of readings from sexual memoir to erotica. With Dashiell (Fleshbot), T.A. Hines (Funky Brown Chick), Nichelle Stephens (nichellenewsletter.typepad.com), Martha Burzynski (Alice Ayers), Allison Bojarski (crossfitnyc.com), Lolita Wolf (lolitawolf.blogspot.com) and Jen Dziura (jenisfamous.com), who will read from the recently released anthology Sex and Candy: 22 Succulent Stories. Hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Lusty Lady blog, editor of Best Sex Writing 2008, Hide and Seek, Sex and Candy). Free candy and cupcakes will be served.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the city's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Lily Burana, Jessica Cutler, Stephen Elliott, Valerie Frankel, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, Andy Horwitz, Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, Edith Layton, Logan Levkoff, Suzanne PortnoySofia Quintero, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Dana Vachon, Veronica Vera, Susan Wright, and many others. The series has gotten press attention from the New York Times’s UrbanEye, Escape (Hong Kong), Flavorpill, The L Magazine, New York Magazine, Philadelphia City Paper, Time Out New York, Gothamist, Nerve.com and Wonkette, and has been praised by Dr. Ruth. This is not Amanda Stern’s Happy Ending Reading Series.

Allison Bojarski is ready and waiting to kick your ass and have you pay her for the honor of doing so, at the best damn gym in New York, CrossFit NYC. Allison’s also blogged her way through Brazilian music and dance, cupcakes, the New York food scene, and marathon training. Equal parts sensual hedonist and clean-living advocate, she savors life to its fullest without looking or feeling crappy the next morning.
allisonbojarski.blogspot.com and crossfitnyc.com



Martha Burzynski a writer and photographer. Her work has appeared in The Village Voice, Publisher's News (UK), and online for Gothamist.com, Gawker Media, Mr. Beller's Neighborhood, and TheBlackTable.com. She has written about drinking and bars in the popular Drink Up column for Gothamist, and daydreamed crimes, dead cats, and unsent love letters, among other things, elsewhere. She photographs city life, events, including weddings, and portraits. She has an eponymous portfolio site at marthaburzynski.com and is obsessed with Flickr, too, where she can be found at flickr.com/photos/marthaburzynski.
alice-ayers.livejournal.com



Rachel Kramer Bussel is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations, conducts interviews for Gothamist.com and Mediabistro.com, and wrote the popular Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice. Her erotic stories have been published in over 100 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006, and she’s edited numerous anthologies, most recently Best Sex Writing 2008, Hide and Seek, Crossdressing, He’s on Top and She’s on Top. Rachel has also written for AVN, Bust, Cosmo UK, Gothamist, Mediabistro, Metro, New York Post, Punk Planet, San Francisco Chronicle, Time Out New York and Velvetpark.
lustylady.blogspot.com



Dashiell is currently the Associate Editor of Fleshbot, but has been writing in various forms on the internet for nearly eight years. No, that is not his real name, but please don't ask him to explain. He wishes he had something more to say here, but that's pretty much it.
www.fleshbot.com

Jennifer Dziura is a comedian and blogger best known for hosting the Williamsburg Spelling Bee⎯a real, cabaret-style adult spelling bee, as featured in the New York Times. Jennifer tours nationally as a comedian with her one-woman show "What Philosophy Majors Do After College," and recently returned from a
three-week tour entertaining the troops in the Middle East. She has written for McSweeney's, appeared on the Bob & Tom Show, debated professionally for Dewars Scotch, and has sold her eggs to gay men, twice.
jenisfamous.com



T.A. Hines is a writer and blogger who has lived in London, Chicago, Amsterdam, Los Angeles and The Hague. She is a contributing blogger at Nerve.com, host/producer of the Internet radio talk show & podcast Dating Roadkill, and editor/publisher of the blog funkybrownchick.com. She enjoys passionate love affairs with far-away lands and intelligent men. Her writing frequently covers interpersonal relationships (online and offline), sex & dating, contemporary lifestyle, arts & entertainment and travel. She has traveled to more than 15 countries, and she speaks English and Dutch fluently as well as conversational French and Italian. She currently resides in New York City.
funkybrownchick.com



Nichelle Stephens is a blogger, comedy producer of Chicks and Giggles, cupcake enthusiast, freelance publicist and small business accountant. She's semi-broke, but she has the most amazing, wonder-filled friends.
nichellenewsletter.typepad.com



Lolita Wolf describes herself as a poly switch who plays pansexually. She is an activist who defends the rights of S/M practitioners, spreads the word about S/M, and helps the community grow and flourish. Yet, her goal remains "to have fun." Lolita has many specialties including bondage, impact play of all sorts, hot wax, poly relationships, social skills, communication and negotiation, CBT, etc. Lolita has presented workshops for universities and organizations across the country and she has authored two books: CBT In A Nutshell and Spanking. She is an Emeritus Board Member of both the Eulenspiegel Society (TES) and Leather Leadership Conference, former Chair of Lesbian Sex Mafia, an honorary member of GMSMA, and she is active with National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and Leather Pride Night. A six year old Princess who lies about her age, Lolita manages to stir up trouble and get her own way (most of the time). She blogs about relationships, sex and BDSM/Leather as well as life in NYC.
lolitawolf.blogspot.com and LeatherYenta.com





January 22, 7 pm - 9 pm
Best Sex Writing 2008 Book Release Party/Reading
At Rapture Cafe, 200 Avenue A (between 12th and 13th), NYC, FREE
Featuring editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, Rachel Shukert ("Big Mouth Strikes Again: An Oral Report"), Lux Nightmare ("The Pink Ghetto"), Miriam Datskovsky ("Absolut Nude"), and Liz Langley ("Sex and the Single Septuagenarian"). Free cupcakes will be serived, and books will be available for sale and signing.



Sunday, January 27, 8 pm - 10 pm
Love Letter Writing Workshop
$20
U R HOT. Want to express your feelings to your Valentine, but just can’t find the words? Spend the evening with Rachel Kramer Bussel penning romantic notes and sweet nothings for your special someone. Rachel is a novelist, editor, and columnist; editor of more than a dozen erotic anthologies, including "He’s on Top", "She’s on Top", and "Hide and Seek". Pen and paper will be provided, and a handout with suggested readings will be passed out. You will have the oportunity to read your work aloud (but are not required to), and will leave with a letter you could send to a lover (real or imaginary).
Babeland, 43 Mercer Street, NYC
Call 212-966-2120 to register or visit the store

Did Jodie Foster "come out?"

Over at the Best Sex Writing 2008 blog, I look at Michael Musto's Out piece "The Glass Closet," which I reprinted in the book, and some commentary on Jodie Foster's recent "coming out" (including a video clip of her speech). Check it out!



(and I know the kerning issue is still a problem there - anyone who knows how to get it back looking like this on the right hand side I will send you a free book! email rachelkb at gmail.com)

Interview with Paul Festa about circumcision

The latest interviewee in my Best Sex Writing 2008 contributor series is Paul Festa, who wrote a piece on circumcision called "How Insensitive." And again, you have until January 6th to win your very own copy.



You write, "Apart from bypassing a few Craigslist ads stating a preference for intact dick, I've never been aware of being discriminated against for lacking one." When was the first time you considered being circumsized possibly something that was disadvantageous?

I suppose it was when I started hearing murmurings--at that point unsupported by scientific evidence--that the foreskin wasn't just some extra piece of useless flesh like the post-partum umbilical cord, but the source of a great deal of erogenous pleasure. As I went to bed with more men I became envious of their ability to get off without pouring tubes and bottles of sticky, expensive, possibly unhealthful lubricants on their dicks. I also started having one of those reorienting conversations with myself about what my circumcision represented. It's one thing to think of it as a hygiene-justified medical procedure (although the research supporting the hygiene issue is controversial, as a follow-up story I did for Nerve emphasized). It's quite another to consider that part of my genitals were amputated for dubious medical reasons and before I could give my consent. It's not at all clear to me why parents--*even religious parents*--have the right to decide this for their children in a society that respects a separation of church and state. Do we let parents authorize clitoridectomies? If someone came forth with a compelling medical or religious justification for lopping off that or any other sexual organ, would we say go ahead, sharpen your scalpel?

Read the whole interview

Guess what just hit bookstores? Best Sex Writing 2008!

I'm so thrilled that Best Sex Writing 2008 is now out! This is the first, but hopefully not the last, non-fiction collection I've edited (fingers crossed on a proposal I'm still finessing after a year!), and I couldn't be more proud of it. And I have to throw an indirect thanks to David Blum for firing me from my Village Voice column - much as I definitely miss writing a sex column and would LOVE to do so again (and editors: I'm available!), I think part of the reason my publisher, Cleis Press, offered me this chance was because I had gotten fired. So, I'm thrilled, and to get to publish people like Michael Musto and Gael Greene (both of whom, incidentally, I interviewed this year for Mediabistro), is beyond amazing. Plus, I think the anthology rocks and really paints a powerful portrait of sex in America and around the world right now. You can read teh introduction here and check out the ongoing Best Sex Writing 2008 blog for updates and interviews with contributors (if it looks weird now, no worries, I'm fixing it). If you are looking for a last minute/late gift for someone who's smart and likes sex, I highly recommend this book. Update: WIN A FREE COPY by clicking here and telling me what your favorite sex-related story of 2007 was. Deadline: January 6, 2008, 5 pm EST. One entry per person.

If you're a reporter or sex blogger looking to review the book or interview me, drop me a line with your publication info/circulation and your mailing address.

We're also having a book release party (yes, there will be cupcakes!) for it on Tuesday, January 22nd, 7-9, at Rapture Cafe, 200 Avenue A (between 12th and 13th), NYC, featuring me and contributors Featuring editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, Rachel Shukert ("Big Mouth Strikes Again: An Oral Report"), Lux Nightmare ("The Pink Ghetto"), Miriam Datskovsky ("Absolut Nude") and Liz Langley ("Sex and the Single Septuagenarian"). Books will be available for sale and signing.

There will also be a San Francicso reading (without me, I'm afraid) sometime in March or April; I'll post as soon as we have that organized.



Best Sex Writing is an annual series publisher by Cleis Press. For the 2008 edition, to be published in December 2007, Rachel Kramer Bussel is the editor.

Below is the publisher's blurb and interviews, updates and event info coming soon:

Do Jewish girls give better blowjobs? What does it mean to be a modern-day eunuch? Would you want to work in the pink ghetto or live in the glass closet? How “hung” are African-American men? What happens to a celebrity sex tape star in Iran? Best Sex Writing 2008 answers these questions (and raises many more) as it probes the inner lives of those on the front lines — political, personal, and cultural — of lust. From dangerous dildos to professional submissives, the erotic appeal of twins, sex work, pornography and much more, these authors delve into the underbelly of eroticism. Probing stereotypes, truths, and the tricky areas in between, Best Sex Writing 2008 opens the bedroom door and explores the complexity of modern sexuality with thought-provoking, cutting-edge essays and articles.

Introduction: One Little Word, Infinite Interpretations

Big Mouth Strikes Again: An Oral Report • Rachel Shukert
Double Your Panic • Kevin Keck
Battle of the Sexless • Ashlea Halpern
Kink.com and Porn Hysteria: The Lie of Unbiased Reporting • Violet Blue
The Prince of Porn and the Junk-Food Queen from Insatiable • Gael Greene
Tough Love • Kelly Rouba
Dirty Old Women • Ariel Levy
Stalking the Stalkers • Kelly Kyrik
Sex in Iran • Pari Esfandiari and Richard Buskin
Surface Tensions • Jen Cross
Sex and the Single Septuagenarian • Liz Langley
The Pink Ghetto (A Four-Part Series) • Lux Nightmare and Melissa Gira
To Have or Have Not: Sex on the Wedding Night • Jill Eisenstadt
How Insensitive • Paul Festa
The Study of Sex • Amy Andre
Dangerous Dildos • Tristan Taormino
Absolut Nude • Miriam Datskovsky
The Hung List from Hung: A Meditation on the Measure of Black Men in America • Scott Poulson-Bryant
The Glass Closet • Michael Musto
Menstruation: Porn’s Last Taboo • Trixie Fontaine
Buying Obedience: My Visit to a Pro Submissive • Greta Christina

Getting excited about Best Sex Writing 2008

Um...can I just say I'm SO excited about this table of contents? I'm so proud of this book and can't wait for people to read it. I love that I get to reprint something from Babble, of all places, in my sex writing book. The tough thing, though, was that I could've published five volumes...there's so much great sex writing going on that if I get a chance, when it comes out I will also post some "honorable mentions" on my blog. I also want to remind people that obviously "Best" is subjective, though in this case, I can say the standard is pretty damn high. And, fingers crossed, there will be a reading at a local (NYC) B&N. I've never read there before and would be thrilled if that comes through. This book is finally finalized and I am eagerly awaiting its release in September. Cover, publisher blurb, and TOC below. And yes, some of these stories are online, you can look them up. I'm thrilled to finally be doing a non-fiction book, hopefully not the last one, either.



Do Jewish girls give better blowjobs? What does it mean to be a modern-day eunuch? Would you want to work in the pink ghetto or live in the glass closet? How “hung” are African-American men? What happens to a celebrity sex tape star in Iran? Best Sex Writing 2008 answers these questions (and raises many more) as it probes the inner lives of those on the front lines — political, personal, and cultural — of lust. From dangerous dildos to professional submissives, the erotic appeal of twins, sex work, pornography and much more, these authors delve into the underbelly of eroticism. Probing stereotypes, truths, and the tricky areas in between, Best Sex Writing 2008 opens the bedroom door and explores the complexity of modern sexuality with thought-provoking, cutting-edge essays and articles.

Big Mouth Strikes Again: An Oral Report by Rachel Shukert from Heeb
Double Your Panic by Kevin Keck from Babble.com
Battle of the Sexless by Ashlea Halpern from Philadelphia City Paper
Kink.com and Porn Hysteria: The Lie of Unbiased Reporting by Violet Blue from San Francisco Chronicle
The Prince of Porn and the Junk-Food Queen from Insatiable by Gael Greene
Tough Love by Kelly Rouba from Playgirl
Dirty Old Women by Ariel Levy from New York
Stalking the Stalkers by Kelly Kyrik from Penthouse Forum
Sex in Iran by Pari Esfandiari and Richard Buskin from Playboy
Surface Tensions by Jen Cross from the anthology Nobody Passes
Sex and the Single Septuagenarian by Liz Langley from Salon.com
The Pink Ghetto (A Four-Part Series) by Lux Nightmare and Melissa Gira from Sexerati.com
To Have or Have Not: Sex on the Wedding Night by Jill Eisenstadt from the anthology Altared
How Insensitive by Paul Festa from Nerve.com
The Study of Sex by Amy Andre from Colorlines.com
Dangerous Dildos by Tristan Taormino from The Village Voice
Absolut Nude by Miriam Datskovsky from The Columbia Spectator
Excerpt from Hung: A Meditation on the Measure of Black Men in Americaa by Scott Pulson-Bryant
The Glass Closet by Michael Musto from Out
Menstruation: Porn’s Last Taboo by Trixie Fontaine from $pread
Buying Obedience: My Visit to a Pro Submissive by Greta Christina from Other

Best Sex Writing 2008 is almost done

I should be done for reals with Best Sex Writing 2008 next week. It's basically done I'm just waiting on permissions for a killer article that I will be sad if we can't include. I got everything else I wanted and all I have to say is that it's gonna be my best book yet, both in terms of some of the high-profile names and publications we're including and the range of really spot-on, intense, deep, complex pieces. I'll share my intro once it's gotten approved, but it's called, "One Little Word, Infinite Interpretations." I can't wait to turn this and the other almost-done projects in...so I can start on new ones. Seriously, I'm prouder of this than any smut I could ever write or edit. Not that I don't love erotica, cause clearly I do, but this is different. Meatier. More profound and speaks to me in a different way. And it'll be like a birthday present to me when it comes out. If you haven't heard from me yet about your submission, please be patient. I will get back to everyone, promise.



Captures the heart and soul of what’s happening behind the bedroom door, where lust, desire, gender, identity, sex work, and politics collide.

The best sex journalism of the year in one unforgettable book.

Do Jewish girls give better blowjobs? What does it mean to be a modern-day eunuch? Does abstinence-only sex education work? Would you want to work in the pink ghetto or live in the glass closet? How “hung” are African-American men? What happens to a celebrity sex tape star in Iran? Best Sex Writing 2008 answers these questions (and raises many more) as it probes the inner lives of those on the front lines — political, personal, and cultural — of lust.

From dangerous dildos to professional submissives, the erotic appeal of twins, sex work, pornography and much more, these authors delve into the underbelly of eroticism. Probing stereotypes, truths, and the tricky areas in between, Best Sex Writing 2008 opens the bedroom door and explores the complexity of modern sexuality with thought-provoking, cutting-edge essays and articles.

Spread the word and send suggestions: Best Sex Writing 2008

Please spread the word about this and if you've read anything in the last year and a half or so, anywhere, online, New York Times, indie mags (I'm probably using something from Other and something from $pread but nothing's final yet), tech publications, psychology, news, current events, etc. I'm most in need of sex journalism rather than personal essay. I'm looking for unique, original reporting that stands out in the field. And the deadline got moved from May 1st to May 15th. Thank you!

Call for submissions: Best Sex Writing 2008
To be edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel
Publication date: November 2007
Deadline for submissions: May 15, 2007

Editor Rachel Kramer Bussel is looking for personal essays and reportage for inclusion in the 2008 edition of Best Sex Writing, which will hit stores in November 2007. Seeking articles from across the sexual spectrum, covering alternative sexuality, reproductive rights and sexuality, sex work, sex and aging, sex and parenting, BDSM, polyamory, gender roles, sex and race, sex and disability, etc. These topics are just starting points; any writings covering the topic of sex will be considered. Personal essays will also be considered.

Previous editions of the annual series have featured authors such as Susannah Breslin, Susie Bright, Stephen Elliott, Tristan Taormino, Virginia Vitzhum, and others. See Best Sex Writing 2005 and 2006 for examples of the types of writing being sought. I'm especially looking for reported pieces that are political, timely, intelligent, surprising, and insightful about sex in American culture (and its many subcultures).

About the editor: Rachel Kramer Bussel (www.rachelkramerbussel.com) is a prolific author and editor. She hosts In The Flesh Reading Series and has edited or co-edited over a dozen erotica books, most recently Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 2, Caught Looking, He's on Top and She's on Top.

Requirements: Story must have been published between September 1, 2005 and April 30, 2007, online and/or in print (book, magazine, zine or newspaper) in the United States.

Instructions: Please send your double-spaced submission (up to 6,000 words) as a Word document or RTF attachment to bestsexwriting2008 at gmail.com – you may submit a maximum of TWO pieces for consideration AND include your full contact information and previous publication details as per below.

If for some reason you are unable to send a Word document or RTF, send your submission in the body of an email. Put BSW08 in the subject line. Include your name, email address, mailing address, phone number, and exact publication details (title of publication, date of publication, and any other relevant information). ONLY SEND WORK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REPRINT.

Editors may submit up to three submissions from their publication, following the guidelines above. Please make it clear that you are the editor submitting work for consideration from your publication, and have the author's contact information available upon request.

Email address (for queries and submissions): bestsexwriting2008 at gmail.com
Payment: $50
Deadline: May 15, 2007
Expect to hear back from me by September 2007 at the latest.

Digging in

Sometimes (okay, lots of the time) I forget to take a step back and remember what I love about the work I do. When the days and weeks seem to blur together, the highs and lows mashed into some forgettable mush of middle, the speed of everything racing by so damn fast I long for the night, not to sleep, but to savor the quiet, I can easily lose track of what the hell I'm doing and where I'm going. Escaping into my novel's fictional world, I can take a break from this one, and that's been challenging and exhilarating, and will soon be coming to an end. I have to try to remember the moments when things go quickly not because it's all too much, but because I hardly notice. While it's "work," it's the kind I'm proud of, excited about, full invested in.

One of those projects is Best Sex Writing 2008, which I'm editing (taking submissions through May 15th) for Cleis, to be published in November. November seems so distant (I will also be turning 32 then, which sounds somehow not right) and yet I know it'll be here soon enough. And as I read and research some submissions for it in the wee hours, I remember again that exhilaration of finding writing I love and being so glad I get to publish it. And pay people and bring their work to a new audience. I remember the thrill of anthology editing as I gather stories for another one I'm putting together, relearning the lesson that the whole is so much greater than the sum of its parts. Please do click on the submissions link and feel free to forward that/send it to whoever. I definitely need more submissions!

For now, though, I wanted to share with you a few favorites that are the kinds of sex writing I'm looking for:

Kink.com and Porn Hysteria: The Lie of Unbiased Reporting, Violet Blue, San Francisco Chronicle

"Battle of the Sexless" by Ashlea Halpern, Philadelphia City Paper

The Pink Ghetto series, Sexerati

"Double Your Panic" by Kevin Keck, Babble

Best Sex Writing 2008 - nominations/suggestions wanted

If you've read something about sex (heavy on the sex reporting, not so much on the personal essays unless they're outstanding) in the last year or so that you loved, please let me know at bestsexwriting2008 at gmail.com (ideally include the title, author, publication and publication date). If there are magazines I should be checking out or editors to ask about this, please let me know. I'll be doing a thorough mailing to relevant editors, but I also want to think outside the box. Major daily papers, alt weeklies, web zines, literary journals, even tech magazines, news magazines, parenting magazines, obviously men's and women's magazines, anywhere and everywhere that might have stellar sex reporting. Suggestions very welcome. Also, they don't all have to espouse a single political viewpoint. I will also be looking at places like Modestyzone.net and people I admire like Lauren Winner, for example. I want timely, provocative, thoughtful, interesting writing about sex, anything that's not the same old, same old. Yes, I'm wrapping up several books all at once and doing PR, freelancing, full-time job, travel, etc. I'm busy but I like it that way. Thank you!

Call for submissions: Best Sex Writing 2008
To be edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel
Publication date: November 2007
Deadline for submissions: May 15, 2007

Editor Rachel Kramer Bussel is looking for personal essays and reportage for inclusion in the 2008 edition of Best Sex Writing, which will hit stores in November 2007. Seeking articles from across the sexual spectrum, covering alternative sexuality, reproductive rights and sexuality, sex work, sex and aging, sex and parenting, BDSM, polyamory, gender roles, sex and race, sex and disability, etc. These topics are just starting points; any writings covering the topic of sex will be considered. Personal essays will also be considered.

Previous editions of the annual series have featured authors such as Susannah Breslin, Susie Bright, Stephen Elliott, Tristan Taormino, Virginia Vitzhum, and others. See Best Sex Writing 2005 and 2006 for examples of the types of writing being sought. I'm especially looking for reported pieces that are political, timely, intelligent, surprising, and insightful about sex in American culture (and its many subcultures).

About the editor: Rachel Kramer Bussel (www.rachelkramerbussel.com) is a prolific author and editor. She hosts In The Flesh Reading Series and has edited or co-edited over a dozen erotica books, most recently Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 2, Caught Looking, He's on Top and She's on Top.

Requirements: Story must have been published between September 1, 2005 and April 30, 2007, online and/or in print (book, magazine, zine or newspaper) in the United States.

Instructions: Please send your double-spaced submission (up to 6,000 words) as a Word document or RTF attachment to bestsexwriting2008 at gmail.com – you may submit a maximum of TWO pieces for consideration AND include your full contact information and previous publication details as per below.

If for some reason you are unable to send a Word document or RTF, send your submission in the body of an email. Put BSW08 in the subject line. Include your name, email address, mailing address, phone number, and exact publication details (title of publication, date of publication, and any other relevant information). ONLY SEND WORK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REPRINT.

Editors may submit up to three submissions from their publication, following the guidelines above. Please make it clear that you are the editor submitting work for consideration from your publication, and have the author's contact information available upon request.

Email address (for queries and submissions): bestsexwriting2008 at gmail.com
Payment: $50
Deadline: May 15, 2007
Expect to hear back from me by September 2007 at the latest.