Bloggers, wish me and Dirty Dates a happy birthday on November 10th and get a free book of erotica

I'm enjoying my final month in my thirties, and preparing for the release of my new anthology Dirty Dates: Erotic Fantasies for Couples.



I came up with the idea of doing something special since the publication date, November 10th, is also my 40th birthday. Instead of a blog tour, with bloggers posting for a few weeks about the book's release, I'm asking bloggers to post on November 10th about Dirty Dates. What can you write about? Anything, as long as you post the special book birthday image and two links about the book. You can review Dirty Dates, interview Rachel or one of the other 20 contributing authors, riff on BDSM or kinky couples. What you post is up to you, as long as it happens on November 10th! You get a free copy of the book and I will share your post on Dirty Dates social media accounts (all @dirtydatesbook) on Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr. Want to join the celebration? Register here by October 20th (all fields are required). Questions? Email dirtydatesbook at gmail.com and I'll get right back to you!

Virtual book tour for kinky anthology Please, Sir: Erotic Stories of Female Submission

Every day in May (a few dates at the end will be filled in ASAP - email pleaseantho at gmail.com with your URL and mailing address - US only for the free book - if you want to be part of the tour) a new blogger will post about Please, Sir: Erotic Stories of Female Submission. Join us! Links will be updated below as they're posted. (Note: some of these blogs are NSFW.)



Please, Sir book tour dates for May 2010

May 1 Baser Instincts
May 2 Man Eater Book
May 3 Hard and Fast
May 4 Erobintica
May 5 Dangerous Lilly
May 6 Sugarbutch Chronicles
May 7 The Sex Carnival
May 8 My Kinky World
May 9 Lusty Literati
May 10 Prurient Interests
May 11 Sarah Sloane
May 12 Hello Saraid
May 13 Desk Full of Dildos (That Toy Chick)
May 14 Julian Arancia (Flavius Iulianus)
May 15 Kristina Wright
May 16 Exploring Intimacy
May 17 Erotica Electronica
May 18 Our Goings On
May 19 SpastikFantastik
May 20 Alpine Subdreams
May 21 Orlando Sex & Relationships Examiner
May 22 Beth Wylde
May 23 Heather Lin
May 24 Pieces of Jade
May 25 Heartbreak Nympho
May 26 Yolanda Shoshana
May 27 ¡Qué sinvergüenza!
May 28 Leather Yenta (Lolita Wolf)
May 29 Marilyn's Room (Marilyn Jaye Lewis)
May 30 Wanton Lotus Reviews
May 31 Curvaceous Dee

Calendar girl

Did I tell you I'm posing for an NYC sex blogger calendar? Well, I am. On Sunday. Not sure what I will be wearing but hopefully it'll be lacy and sexy and pretty. Maybe there will be fishnets. For sure I am going all out and taking advantage of the much-needed hair and makeup people. Aside from our recent cupcake/Vote-o-booth shoot with Hilary McHone and some headshots Stacie Joy took of me, I haven't done proper photos in a long time. I even have a photographer friend who owes me a session but I keep putting it off. Too busy, feel too fat, too off my game. But I'm gonna vamp it up on Sunday to make our calendar the best it can be.

You can't pose with us but, you can be in our calendar. Well, your blog can. Go to the site to find out how you can sponsor your very own day on the calendar. Like a holiday. And it's being shot by my fabulous friend Stacie Joy.

Here are the hotties posing with me:

Audacia Ray

Desiree

Diva

Elizabeth Wood

Jamye Waxman

Lux Alptraum

Mariella

Riese

Sinclair Sexsmith

Tess Danesi


Twanna A Hines

Sponsorship details:

We’d like to offer everyone, readers and fellow bloggers, the opportunity to join in the fun and excitement, as well as promote your own blog if you have one. That means for $30 you can buy a day in our calendar and personalize it. If you’re a blogger you can have your blog url on your day, or if you’re a reader, any personal message - you can wish us luck or send a greeting to your favorite blogger or celebrate your birthday or anniversary - up to 80 characters will be printed on your day. That $30 includes one pre-ordered calendar (shipping is extra) with all funds in excess of our expenses going directly to Sex Work Awareness. You can purchase as many additional days as you like depending upon availability for $10 each. Since this is a 2009 calendar, we are on an extremely tight schedule and can only sell days through October 1st, 2008. We hope you will consider this a fun and creative way to promote your blog or just as a way to share in the pleasure and excitement this project has been bringing us in our effort to make our community and world a better, more sex-positive place to live.

These are from a shoot in...I'm not even sure, but a while ago, by Celeste Smith. The bottom one is one of my favorites.

Live from The Martha Stewart Show studio

Nichelle and I are right this very minute (9:10 am) in the studio on 26th Street of The Martha Stewart Show!

Stay tuned for our liveblogging at Cupcakes Take the Cake at 10 am and follow us on Twitter (@cupcakeblog) for LIVEblogging and tweeting of her all-blogger audience show, with Perez Hilton and other special guests!

Dooce's memoir title

It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita by Heather B. Armstrong of Dooce (and yesterday's New York Times) fame comes out March 24, 2009 from Simon Spotlight Entertainment.

She mentioned it on her blog:

However. I have another enormous deadline looming over me right now, the one where I'm supposed to turn in the final pages of my manuscript to my editor (hi, Patrick!) at Simon and Schuster. It's sort of a memoir about my pregnancy and postpartum experience with Leta, and it's only one paragraph long. It goes: "It sucked and then I cried. The end." My editor thinks I should elaborate a little bit. He's so picky.

Jefferson's custody case and the First Amendment red herring

I need to preface this by saying I have never slept with Jefferson. I know him from hanging out in the same sex blogger circles, have been to a few parties he's attended, have traded a few emails with him, once ran into him on the subway with his kids. I used to read his blog a fair bit.

I really wasn't planning to post further about this, but I'm truly dismayed at what's been happening online regarding blogger Jefferson's custody case. Well, actually, regarding discussion of it. I blogged about it on my Tumblr blog, only after it was written about publicly on Viviane's Sex Carnival, Fleshbot, and The Huffington Post. I had heard privately about it last week, but had refrained from commenting, because really, his custody case is none of my business. I'm not privy to enough details about it or New York State custody law to have a proper opinion on it, though from what I know of his situation, I don't wish him to lose custody. But I didn't write about that. I wrote about the fact that if you can read, if you've ever studied anything about the First Amendment, you should know that it applies to the government dictating what you can and can't say, not your vindictive ex-wife. Nobody ever said he didn't have the legal right to post anything he damn well wanted.

The next day I had the following exchange with him:

Rachel,

I'm trying to get the word out that people should not discuss my custody case online in any way. No matter the intent, any public discussion of an ongoing court case can have adverse affects. While I respect people's right to their opinions, I am unable to share details of the case, so misinformation is inevitable.

The Friends of Jefferson committee is issuing appeals that are approved by my attorneys. These can be circulated as you wish, but please don't alter the text.

Above all, everyone's primary focus should be what is best for the children concerned.

Thanks!

--
Jefferson

One Life, Take Two
www.onelifetaketwo.com

The life of a parent, and pervert, in New York City.

I replied:

Hi Jefferson,

While I do understand your point of view, when it's being written about on the Huffington Post, I think that makes it a public discussion. I have only commented thus far on what has already been written about publicly.

Rachel

And he replied:

The post on Huffington Post came a surprise to me. I know some people want to help, and others want to weigh in, but any public discussion of this case can only be detrimental. There will be time later to discuss it, when the facts will be available.

For now, please: this is about children, Rachel.

That alone I find incredibly offensive. (And from a man who posts his blog under a Creative Commons license, no less.) It's arrogant, obnoxious, and foolish to, on the one hand, fling around the term "First Amendment" in the Friends of Jefferson plea, then ask not just me, but other bloggers and even blog commenters, to refrain from writing about the case and/or to remove their posts/comments. I then posted this on my Tumblr, under the title "How to piss off a writer: try to dictate what they write:"

Want to know how to piss off a writer? Tell them what they can and can’t talk about. Act like you are doing it for some hgher moral cause. Get indignant when it’s pointed out that I’m responding to an already-public discussion. It reminds me of the parents who won’t let their kids read Harry Potter books; G-d forbid they may get ideas in their heads! What would happen if someone doesn’t agree with you?

In response to my post about Jefferson’s custody case, I got an email asking me to refrain from public discussion about said case. No mention of the fact that is now been written about on Fleshbot and Huffington Post. You know, those very low profile, low traffic websites.

To me, that request is mind control at its worst. It’s saying, I have the write to put my viewpoint out there (oh! and a plea for $20,000) but you don’t. I’m right, you’re wrong. My way or the highway.

It’s fucked up and it’s bullshit. Of course I get the motivation behind it, but it does not make what essentially is an attempt at Internet bullying okay. Asking people to remove posts is cowardly.

As I stated previously, the First Amendment gives you the right to free speech. But to hide behind it, then ask others not to exercise their free speech, goes against the principles of this country. And since this person is behind heralded as akin to a Founding Father, well, I think that’s extremely fucked up.

If someone has done something and thinks they’re right, stand up for yourself. Say it loud, say it proud. I think that’s wonderful. But recognize the risks that you personally assumed. I didn’t assume those risks, so don’t ask me to take the fall.

I had actually deleted part of what else I had to say about this case, because I recognize that it’s complicated. But trying to shut down discussion furthers nothing. In my opinion, it does not set a good example, for children or adults. It’s selfish and unfair and also ignores the thing that makes the blogosphere so wonderful: a diversity of opinion.

I think a comment he left on Audacia Ray's blog truly says it all; we're all just bitches, but bitches whose money he wants:

Yeah, I fucked pretty much all of these commenters. Bitches weren’t complaining then.

Have fun with the flaying, y’all.

Though he later apologized, to me that speaks to the fact that he doesn't care about anything but himself; ideas, discussion, thought, blogging, community - what-fucking-ever. You're either with him or against him, and if it's the latter, shut the fuck up right now.

Susan Mernit asks:

Do you have to approve of someone's actions to fund their legal defense? In this crowd, the answer is clearly yes, potential loss of kids or not.

I think that's unfair. He has asked fellow writers and bloggers not to discuss this case, which basically is saying, agree with me or have no opinion. You are not entitled, because this is MY case, my life. And yet, he is free to post on his blog, and ask for money, and act like it's all for "the greater good." It's not for him, it's for the children. Well, no, I don't have kids, but I hope when I do what I teach them is that we all have plenty to learn from each other. That discussion, disagreement, debate, are good, not evil things. The stunning hypocrisy astounds me.

If that's what it means to be part of the "sex-positive community," count me way the fuck out. I don't want to be associated in any way whatsover with trying to shut down discussions in the name of sex-positivity, with the idea that a plurality of opinions are not welcome. My friend Kristina Wright left a truly brilliant, spot-on analysis of the situation at Audacia's blog, saying in part:

In a perfect world, we could all write what we want to write without fear of repercussions. Hell, in a perfect world, marriage would last forever and custody fights wouldn’t exist. We don’t live in a perfect world and Jefferson knows this, which is why he wrote his blog anonymously. He can’t now pretend he didn’t know the risks and play the victim while others foot the bill.

But then again, I guess I'm just a bitch, right?

January events! Derek and Romaine tonight, In The Flesh, Best Sex Writing, Erotic Love Letters

It's a busy month kicking off a busy year, filled with many deadlines and many events...here's what's on tap for January. I'll provide the February recap once these events are over, or you can always check my site's calendar (needs updating at the moment, sorry) or my RSS calendar on the left side of this blog. Lots of travel coming up, about one event per month for the next little while. There's also a Cupcakes Take the Cake Meetup this Saturday at Out of the Kitchen, and an event called Kiss and Tell on January 16th at Arena Studios that I don't have any more info on, but, uh, I'll be there!



Tonight (Thursday, January 10th), despite this evil cold, I'm going on the Derek and Romaine show on Sirius OutQ to talk about Best Sex Writing 2008. I will try not to steer the conversation too far into Romaine mommyland, but I may not be able to help myself. Speaking of which, there were soooo many adorable babies and little kids at the U.S. Embassy on Monday. Yes, obviously I was very jealous but I'm biding my time. 2010 or 2011 maybe? Then I can start becoming a baby factory (I definitely want more than one).

IN THE FLESH EROTIC READING SERIES
BLOGGER SEX NIGHT
THURSDAY, JANUARY 17th at 8 PM
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET, NYC
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey, http://www.happyendinglounge.com)
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676

In The Flesh hosts its first all blogger night, with a range of readings from sexual memoir to erotica. With Dashiell (Fleshbot), T.A. Hines (Funky Brown Chick), Nichelle Stephens (nichellenewsletter.typepad.com), Martha Burzynski (Alice Ayers), Allison Bojarski (crossfitnyc.com), Lolita Wolf (lolitawolf.blogspot.com) and Jen Dziura (jenisfamous.com), who will read from the recently released anthology Sex and Candy: 22 Succulent Stories. Hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Lusty Lady blog, editor of Best Sex Writing 2008, Hide and Seek, Sex and Candy). Free candy and cupcakes will be served.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the city's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Lily Burana, Jessica Cutler, Stephen Elliott, Valerie Frankel, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, Andy Horwitz, Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, Edith Layton, Logan Levkoff, Suzanne PortnoySofia Quintero, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Dana Vachon, Veronica Vera, Susan Wright, and many others. The series has gotten press attention from the New York Times’s UrbanEye, Escape (Hong Kong), Flavorpill, The L Magazine, New York Magazine, Philadelphia City Paper, Time Out New York, Gothamist, Nerve.com and Wonkette, and has been praised by Dr. Ruth. This is not Amanda Stern’s Happy Ending Reading Series.

Allison Bojarski is ready and waiting to kick your ass and have you pay her for the honor of doing so, at the best damn gym in New York, CrossFit NYC. Allison’s also blogged her way through Brazilian music and dance, cupcakes, the New York food scene, and marathon training. Equal parts sensual hedonist and clean-living advocate, she savors life to its fullest without looking or feeling crappy the next morning.
allisonbojarski.blogspot.com and crossfitnyc.com



Martha Burzynski a writer and photographer. Her work has appeared in The Village Voice, Publisher's News (UK), and online for Gothamist.com, Gawker Media, Mr. Beller's Neighborhood, and TheBlackTable.com. She has written about drinking and bars in the popular Drink Up column for Gothamist, and daydreamed crimes, dead cats, and unsent love letters, among other things, elsewhere. She photographs city life, events, including weddings, and portraits. She has an eponymous portfolio site at marthaburzynski.com and is obsessed with Flickr, too, where she can be found at flickr.com/photos/marthaburzynski.
alice-ayers.livejournal.com



Rachel Kramer Bussel is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations, conducts interviews for Gothamist.com and Mediabistro.com, and wrote the popular Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice. Her erotic stories have been published in over 100 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006, and she’s edited numerous anthologies, most recently Best Sex Writing 2008, Hide and Seek, Crossdressing, He’s on Top and She’s on Top. Rachel has also written for AVN, Bust, Cosmo UK, Gothamist, Mediabistro, Metro, New York Post, Punk Planet, San Francisco Chronicle, Time Out New York and Velvetpark.
lustylady.blogspot.com



Dashiell is currently the Associate Editor of Fleshbot, but has been writing in various forms on the internet for nearly eight years. No, that is not his real name, but please don't ask him to explain. He wishes he had something more to say here, but that's pretty much it.
www.fleshbot.com

Jennifer Dziura is a comedian and blogger best known for hosting the Williamsburg Spelling Bee⎯a real, cabaret-style adult spelling bee, as featured in the New York Times. Jennifer tours nationally as a comedian with her one-woman show "What Philosophy Majors Do After College," and recently returned from a
three-week tour entertaining the troops in the Middle East. She has written for McSweeney's, appeared on the Bob & Tom Show, debated professionally for Dewars Scotch, and has sold her eggs to gay men, twice.
jenisfamous.com



T.A. Hines is a writer and blogger who has lived in London, Chicago, Amsterdam, Los Angeles and The Hague. She is a contributing blogger at Nerve.com, host/producer of the Internet radio talk show & podcast Dating Roadkill, and editor/publisher of the blog funkybrownchick.com. She enjoys passionate love affairs with far-away lands and intelligent men. Her writing frequently covers interpersonal relationships (online and offline), sex & dating, contemporary lifestyle, arts & entertainment and travel. She has traveled to more than 15 countries, and she speaks English and Dutch fluently as well as conversational French and Italian. She currently resides in New York City.
funkybrownchick.com



Nichelle Stephens is a blogger, comedy producer of Chicks and Giggles, cupcake enthusiast, freelance publicist and small business accountant. She's semi-broke, but she has the most amazing, wonder-filled friends.
nichellenewsletter.typepad.com



Lolita Wolf describes herself as a poly switch who plays pansexually. She is an activist who defends the rights of S/M practitioners, spreads the word about S/M, and helps the community grow and flourish. Yet, her goal remains "to have fun." Lolita has many specialties including bondage, impact play of all sorts, hot wax, poly relationships, social skills, communication and negotiation, CBT, etc. Lolita has presented workshops for universities and organizations across the country and she has authored two books: CBT In A Nutshell and Spanking. She is an Emeritus Board Member of both the Eulenspiegel Society (TES) and Leather Leadership Conference, former Chair of Lesbian Sex Mafia, an honorary member of GMSMA, and she is active with National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and Leather Pride Night. A six year old Princess who lies about her age, Lolita manages to stir up trouble and get her own way (most of the time). She blogs about relationships, sex and BDSM/Leather as well as life in NYC.
lolitawolf.blogspot.com and LeatherYenta.com





January 22, 7 pm - 9 pm
Best Sex Writing 2008 Book Release Party/Reading
At Rapture Cafe, 200 Avenue A (between 12th and 13th), NYC, FREE
Featuring editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, Rachel Shukert ("Big Mouth Strikes Again: An Oral Report"), Lux Nightmare ("The Pink Ghetto"), Miriam Datskovsky ("Absolut Nude"), and Liz Langley ("Sex and the Single Septuagenarian"). Free cupcakes will be serived, and books will be available for sale and signing.



Sunday, January 27, 8 pm - 10 pm
Love Letter Writing Workshop
$20
U R HOT. Want to express your feelings to your Valentine, but just can’t find the words? Spend the evening with Rachel Kramer Bussel penning romantic notes and sweet nothings for your special someone. Rachel is a novelist, editor, and columnist; editor of more than a dozen erotic anthologies, including "He’s on Top", "She’s on Top", and "Hide and Seek". Pen and paper will be provided, and a handout with suggested readings will be passed out. You will have the oportunity to read your work aloud (but are not required to), and will leave with a letter you could send to a lover (real or imaginary).
Babeland, 43 Mercer Street, NYC
Call 212-966-2120 to register or visit the store

Gawker (finally) launches its sci fi blog io9

I just got the scoop via Twitter that Gawker's long-awaited sci fi blog, io9, just launched (click here for the definition of the name). And in case you're wondering, I know next to nothing (perhaps even actually nothing) about science fiction but it's edited by my friends Annalee Newitz and Charlie Anders, pictured below, who also co-edited the anthology She's Such a Geek, so I will be checking it out, and encourage you to do the same. (And for those wondering about my prolific posting, jetlag is keeping me up late while the person I'm visiting is asleep, so I'm amusing myself on the internets.)


photo via Flickr user lawgeek