Tonight's love letter workshop at Babeland and recent press

Very busy around here so another quick update - more this week about the incredible Ida show I went to the other night. You can listen to their new song "Lovers Prayers" off the new album, also called Lovers Prayers, on MySpace. Beautiful.

There is a LOT going on; tonight's workshop is being covered by a local magazine and other media nibbles are in the works. I'm wrapping up two big articles and am at the tail end of my novel. I am still, believe it or not, getting over my evil cold, thanks to Cold-Eeze lozenges and lots of water and sleep. I had a pretty rough week last week mentally/emotionally but feel a lot better about the week ahead.

Tonight is the love letter workshop at Babeland! If you haven't registered but want to come, I'm pretty sure you can just show up tonight, but call them at 212-966-2120 to check. And if you missed my lover letter example, there it is.



Sunday, January 27, 8 pm - 10 pm
Love Letter Writing Workshop
$20
U R HOT. Want to express your feelings to your Valentine, but just can’t find the words? Spend the evening with Rachel Kramer Bussel penning romantic notes and sweet nothings for your special someone. Rachel is a novelist, editor, and columnist; editor of more than a dozen erotic anthologies, including "He’s on Top", "She’s on Top", and "Hide and Seek". Pen and paper will be provided, and a handout with suggested readings will be passed out. You will have the opportunity to read your work aloud (but are not required to), and will leave with a letter you could send to a lover (real or imaginary).
Babeland, 43 Mercer Street, NYC
Call 212-966-2120 to register or visit the store

And some recent press:

I'm interviewed by Em & Lo at Conde Nast's sex blog Daily Bedpost

E&L: What if you're afraid that your love letter will be totally cheesy, how can you avoid that?

RKB: First of all, I think some cheesiness is okay, but then again, I'm a big dork. But to combat that, make it personal. Include private memories or inside jokes and really highlight why they're so special. It can be something silly that only you find charming about the person--in fact, all the better. Most of all, be honest. I think the most heartfelt, moving love letters are perhaps the toughest to write, because you lay bare all your real emotions, sometimes ones you might be too nervous to tell someone in person.

Also, it doesn't all have to be about how perfect the person is; loving someone's flaws, or seeing them in all their complexity, good and bad, is ultimately what loving someone is all about, and I think at the end of the day, while it's nice to get compliments, more than that we want to be known and loved for who we are, not who we might be. So by showing that you know that person inside and out, that you are there for them through thick and thin, that you appreciate things about them that they may not appreciate about themselves, you make the letter into something they will treasure. I'm not saying to make it all dark and depressing, but if you make someone cry (tears of joy), they're gonna want to hold onto your letter.



The Columbia Spectator looks at Best Sex Writing 2008 and Barnard alum and contributor Miriam Datskovsky

That’s the thing about sexuality, this book, and its authors at large: they’re all hard to pin down. Even the collaborators managed to gain just as much wisdom as they imparted through each other. “I certainly learned a lot,” Bussel confided. “I found so much out there that truly expanded my vision of what sexuality is and means to people.” This was especially shocking considering her hometown: “I live in New York and I think it’s very easy to assume that we’re more open-minded or liberal or kinky or whatever, and that’s not necessarily true at all,” she said. “So I hope people who want to learn about sex will check out the book and that it might start some conversations in their lives about their own fantasies, desires, and outlooks around sex.”

Best Sex Writing is, in the end, a misnomer, because the word sex means so much more than just intercourse. One gets a sense, as Bussel puts it, of “the breadth of human sexuality ... and how sex changes people over time.” It’s not the easiest ride for white-bread America—as Datskovsky admitted, “If I wanted to be honest, I had to be completely unafraid.” This fearless and exultant look at the spectrum of human eroticism is thrilling and enlightening, an excellent return by a gutsy alumna—way to make us proud.

And also at the Columbia Spectator site, catch up on Miriam's old columns

Manleez.com also wrote about BSW and soon should have video interviews of us up

And check out the February issue of Zink - I'm quoted in Jamye Waxman's article on bisexuality, and the fabulous Hitha Prabhakar also has an article there.

And in cupcake news, you can check out my Flickr set from January's cupcake meetup at Out of the Kitchen and Jacques Torres. I'm about two weeks behind on all things photo and still figuring out my camera/Olympus Master/Flickr Uploader, but getting the hang of it. And rkb1 on Flickr is slowly dying (will probably not be adding many new photos to it) and being replaced by new accounts, like rkbcupcakes, that anyone can see.

Love letters...

I'm teaching an erotic love letter workshop on Sunday, January 27th at Babeland that I hope some of you will come to! Details at the end of this post. There will be an emphasis on the erotic, but it will also cover regular love letters.

To that end, I've been thinking about lots of things, some of which I'll write more about this weekend, among them James Joyce's erotic love letters to Nora from 1909. And some of my own. It's been a long time since I've been in love, and so I haven't had much practice, though I do tend to write to the people I fall in love with. Not always, but the big ones, yeah, I just can't help myself.

Here's something I wrote a long time ago, that I think now is safe to own up to. We never did kiss, and that's okay, and it's funny because while part of me rereads this and thinks about how foolish I was over this person, part of me knows that I fell for him for a reason, and this is still one of my favorite things I've ever written.

Is it possible to love someone before we've even kissed? Even if we never end up kissing? Before we've even spent more than a few moments alone? I don't even know what it is about you that so attracts me. I get totally flustered around you. I've been told that my face gets red when I talk about you, and I'm sure it's true.

Maybe it's because for all your brilliance, you seem to have some of the same insecurities I do. When you open up to me, I feel incredibly protective. I want to wrap you up in my arms and kiss you all day and night, ply you with encouragement, make you a superstar. I find it really easy to believe in you, more than in myself. I find it infinitely cute when you talk about babies or kids; boys don't usually openly declare they've found anyone under 15 remotely adorable. I'm skittish, nervous to tell you things, yet filled with the converse desire to tell you everything because, somehow, I think you'll understand.

You're charming without trying to be. It's in part your selflessness that endears you to me. I'm shocked there aren't girls lining up around the block for the chance to talk to you. (Wait. Maybe there are.) I promised myself for New Year's I would stop thinking about you, would banish you from my mind once and for all, but I can't. The way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you manage to surprise me, whether with a tattoo or a risk, are all unforgettable. Maybe I'm totally crazy and seeing what doesn't exist, mirages spun solely from my imagination. Maybe there's a good reason I haven't been able to focus on anything or anyone else for months now. I guess that's up to you to decide. Whenever you're ready, even if that day never comes, I'll be here.

Love Letter Writing Workshop with Rachel Kramer Bussel
Sunday, January 27, 8:00-10:00, $20
Babeland SoHo, 43 Mercer Street, NYC
U R HOT. Want to express your feelings to your Valentine, but just can’t find the words? Spend the evening with Rachel Kramer Bussel penning romantic notes and sweet nothings for your special someone. Rachel is a novelist, editor, and columnist; editor of more than a dozen erotic anthologies, including He’s on Top, She’s on Top and Hide and Seek. Her work has been published in the Village Voice, Penthouse, Bust, and the San Francisco Chronicle, among others.

About Babeland:
Babeland is recognized around the world as a friendly place to shop for sex toys, books, and videos. Founded in 1993, Babeland has received numerous honors in its fifteen years of business, including Zagat Survey Awards for "Top Service" in New York City in 2003 and 2006. It was voted "Best Place to Buy Sex Toys" by The Village Voice, New York Magazine, New York Press, Miami New Times, Seattle's The Stranger, and the Seattle Weekly. Self Magazine has hailed co-founders Rachel Venning and Claire Cavanah as “new generation sex gurus."

REGISTER in person at Babeland or by calling 212-966-2120.

Babeland videos

I'm home in bed on a Saturday night coughing what feels like my lungs up. Really not so fun. I'm also writing, which I'm actually enjoying though feel like I need to go stand in a hot shower for an hour to clear my nose of phlegm. Sorry to get so graphic on you there, I'm just SO OVER being sick. Will have some book and blog recommendations soon, cause I've been reading some good stuff.

Anyway...there will be much more to share, but right now I'm just trying to juggle umpteen projects, due and overdue, and handle new opportunities that are speeding my way. So here are some videos I found from Babeland, where I'll be teaching my erotic love letter workshop on Sunday, January 27th. Please spread the word, especially if you have a special someone you want to write something to for Valentine's Day. Or just because you care - I am a big fan of cards and notes for no particular holiday or reason.

The first video I love just because a) Morty Diamond is totally hot and b) he's so hilariously over the top in trying to sell us on Babeland water. Yes, of course you don't need Babeland water any more than you need any other non-NYC tap water, but oh...Morty manages to make their water sound sexy and is so in on the joke that I just adore it. I mean, how would you promote your company's water? I ask this as someone who tries to drink a gallon of water a day - I have no idea what I'd say, so I heart Morty for making this one.



Next up is the Aneros. When I wrote about "Boys' Toys" for the VIllage Voice back in the day, I got a bunch of emails about this particular toy:



Well, here you can find out more about it from another cutie, Evan, who calls it a good "first-time prostate toy." And, um, I've met enough guys who are way into anal stimulation and am sure would really love this toy (though I have not personally tested it out on anyone - yet!).



Lastly, Darlinda (better known as burlesque performer Darlinda Just Darlinda, who just completed a year in rainbow and you can see more of her pics on Flickr) talks about a very special G-Spot toy:



Speaking of the G-Spot, I cannot recommend enough Violet Blue's awesome book The Smart Girl's Guide to the G-Spot. It's blessedly short and to the point, not to mention fierce, fabulous, and full of useful info and totally inspired me to get a little more G-Spot happy. What I liked best is that she is not pushing women to get into G-Spot play or telling anyone what to do but simply sharing some of her findings about the joys of the G-Spot. I sent this book to a friend who was freaking out about a bf who wanted her to squirt, and she was all, "Can women do that?" The answer is yes and if you want to find out more, read Violet's book.

January events! Derek and Romaine tonight, In The Flesh, Best Sex Writing, Erotic Love Letters

It's a busy month kicking off a busy year, filled with many deadlines and many events...here's what's on tap for January. I'll provide the February recap once these events are over, or you can always check my site's calendar (needs updating at the moment, sorry) or my RSS calendar on the left side of this blog. Lots of travel coming up, about one event per month for the next little while. There's also a Cupcakes Take the Cake Meetup this Saturday at Out of the Kitchen, and an event called Kiss and Tell on January 16th at Arena Studios that I don't have any more info on, but, uh, I'll be there!



Tonight (Thursday, January 10th), despite this evil cold, I'm going on the Derek and Romaine show on Sirius OutQ to talk about Best Sex Writing 2008. I will try not to steer the conversation too far into Romaine mommyland, but I may not be able to help myself. Speaking of which, there were soooo many adorable babies and little kids at the U.S. Embassy on Monday. Yes, obviously I was very jealous but I'm biding my time. 2010 or 2011 maybe? Then I can start becoming a baby factory (I definitely want more than one).

IN THE FLESH EROTIC READING SERIES
BLOGGER SEX NIGHT
THURSDAY, JANUARY 17th at 8 PM
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET, NYC
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey, http://www.happyendinglounge.com)
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676

In The Flesh hosts its first all blogger night, with a range of readings from sexual memoir to erotica. With Dashiell (Fleshbot), T.A. Hines (Funky Brown Chick), Nichelle Stephens (nichellenewsletter.typepad.com), Martha Burzynski (Alice Ayers), Allison Bojarski (crossfitnyc.com), Lolita Wolf (lolitawolf.blogspot.com) and Jen Dziura (jenisfamous.com), who will read from the recently released anthology Sex and Candy: 22 Succulent Stories. Hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Lusty Lady blog, editor of Best Sex Writing 2008, Hide and Seek, Sex and Candy). Free candy and cupcakes will be served.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the city's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Lily Burana, Jessica Cutler, Stephen Elliott, Valerie Frankel, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, Andy Horwitz, Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, Edith Layton, Logan Levkoff, Suzanne PortnoySofia Quintero, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Dana Vachon, Veronica Vera, Susan Wright, and many others. The series has gotten press attention from the New York Times’s UrbanEye, Escape (Hong Kong), Flavorpill, The L Magazine, New York Magazine, Philadelphia City Paper, Time Out New York, Gothamist, Nerve.com and Wonkette, and has been praised by Dr. Ruth. This is not Amanda Stern’s Happy Ending Reading Series.

Allison Bojarski is ready and waiting to kick your ass and have you pay her for the honor of doing so, at the best damn gym in New York, CrossFit NYC. Allison’s also blogged her way through Brazilian music and dance, cupcakes, the New York food scene, and marathon training. Equal parts sensual hedonist and clean-living advocate, she savors life to its fullest without looking or feeling crappy the next morning.
allisonbojarski.blogspot.com and crossfitnyc.com



Martha Burzynski a writer and photographer. Her work has appeared in The Village Voice, Publisher's News (UK), and online for Gothamist.com, Gawker Media, Mr. Beller's Neighborhood, and TheBlackTable.com. She has written about drinking and bars in the popular Drink Up column for Gothamist, and daydreamed crimes, dead cats, and unsent love letters, among other things, elsewhere. She photographs city life, events, including weddings, and portraits. She has an eponymous portfolio site at marthaburzynski.com and is obsessed with Flickr, too, where she can be found at flickr.com/photos/marthaburzynski.
alice-ayers.livejournal.com



Rachel Kramer Bussel is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations, conducts interviews for Gothamist.com and Mediabistro.com, and wrote the popular Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice. Her erotic stories have been published in over 100 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006, and she’s edited numerous anthologies, most recently Best Sex Writing 2008, Hide and Seek, Crossdressing, He’s on Top and She’s on Top. Rachel has also written for AVN, Bust, Cosmo UK, Gothamist, Mediabistro, Metro, New York Post, Punk Planet, San Francisco Chronicle, Time Out New York and Velvetpark.
lustylady.blogspot.com



Dashiell is currently the Associate Editor of Fleshbot, but has been writing in various forms on the internet for nearly eight years. No, that is not his real name, but please don't ask him to explain. He wishes he had something more to say here, but that's pretty much it.
www.fleshbot.com

Jennifer Dziura is a comedian and blogger best known for hosting the Williamsburg Spelling Bee⎯a real, cabaret-style adult spelling bee, as featured in the New York Times. Jennifer tours nationally as a comedian with her one-woman show "What Philosophy Majors Do After College," and recently returned from a
three-week tour entertaining the troops in the Middle East. She has written for McSweeney's, appeared on the Bob & Tom Show, debated professionally for Dewars Scotch, and has sold her eggs to gay men, twice.
jenisfamous.com



T.A. Hines is a writer and blogger who has lived in London, Chicago, Amsterdam, Los Angeles and The Hague. She is a contributing blogger at Nerve.com, host/producer of the Internet radio talk show & podcast Dating Roadkill, and editor/publisher of the blog funkybrownchick.com. She enjoys passionate love affairs with far-away lands and intelligent men. Her writing frequently covers interpersonal relationships (online and offline), sex & dating, contemporary lifestyle, arts & entertainment and travel. She has traveled to more than 15 countries, and she speaks English and Dutch fluently as well as conversational French and Italian. She currently resides in New York City.
funkybrownchick.com



Nichelle Stephens is a blogger, comedy producer of Chicks and Giggles, cupcake enthusiast, freelance publicist and small business accountant. She's semi-broke, but she has the most amazing, wonder-filled friends.
nichellenewsletter.typepad.com



Lolita Wolf describes herself as a poly switch who plays pansexually. She is an activist who defends the rights of S/M practitioners, spreads the word about S/M, and helps the community grow and flourish. Yet, her goal remains "to have fun." Lolita has many specialties including bondage, impact play of all sorts, hot wax, poly relationships, social skills, communication and negotiation, CBT, etc. Lolita has presented workshops for universities and organizations across the country and she has authored two books: CBT In A Nutshell and Spanking. She is an Emeritus Board Member of both the Eulenspiegel Society (TES) and Leather Leadership Conference, former Chair of Lesbian Sex Mafia, an honorary member of GMSMA, and she is active with National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and Leather Pride Night. A six year old Princess who lies about her age, Lolita manages to stir up trouble and get her own way (most of the time). She blogs about relationships, sex and BDSM/Leather as well as life in NYC.
lolitawolf.blogspot.com and LeatherYenta.com





January 22, 7 pm - 9 pm
Best Sex Writing 2008 Book Release Party/Reading
At Rapture Cafe, 200 Avenue A (between 12th and 13th), NYC, FREE
Featuring editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, Rachel Shukert ("Big Mouth Strikes Again: An Oral Report"), Lux Nightmare ("The Pink Ghetto"), Miriam Datskovsky ("Absolut Nude"), and Liz Langley ("Sex and the Single Septuagenarian"). Free cupcakes will be serived, and books will be available for sale and signing.



Sunday, January 27, 8 pm - 10 pm
Love Letter Writing Workshop
$20
U R HOT. Want to express your feelings to your Valentine, but just can’t find the words? Spend the evening with Rachel Kramer Bussel penning romantic notes and sweet nothings for your special someone. Rachel is a novelist, editor, and columnist; editor of more than a dozen erotic anthologies, including "He’s on Top", "She’s on Top", and "Hide and Seek". Pen and paper will be provided, and a handout with suggested readings will be passed out. You will have the oportunity to read your work aloud (but are not required to), and will leave with a letter you could send to a lover (real or imaginary).
Babeland, 43 Mercer Street, NYC
Call 212-966-2120 to register or visit the store