Catch me on Tristan Taormino podcast Sex Out Loud Friday, March 15

Update: I chatted with Sex Out Loud podcast host Tristan Taormino all about my SELF essay on no longer being kinky and reading a juicy (and kinky!) fetish erotica story from Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 4 on March 15 from 8-9 pm EST. And don't miss me IN PERSON on Thursday, March 21, 7 pm at The Pleasure Chest New York City on the Upper East Side (1150 Second Avenue between 60th and 61st) for a live reading from the book with Calliope Bloom, Tamsen Parker and Sofia Quintero. Plus our audience will include Jayne Renault, smut editor at Bellesa and Dirty Lola of Sex Ed a Go Go, among other cool people! Here's the Facebook page for the erotica reading if you'd like to use it to invite people.



FYI, don't do what I did and visit the Sex Out Loud link above in a crowded professional space with the volume on your computer turned up unless you're okay with "Tune in every week for Sex Out Loud..." blasting into the room. Listen live or after the fact. And I highly recommend subscribing to Sex Out Loud on whatever your favorite podcast streaming platform is, because the interviews are always smart and fascinating. Also, Tristan is writing a memoir that I promise you are going to want to read. She also has a Patreon where you can support her work and get exclusive looks at her book before the general public. I became a patron there and encourage you to check it out.

Bisexual BDSM romance Booked interview and what else I've been up to

Lately, I've been trying to get more into routines. Just as I make coffee for myself each morning, set out my vitamins, get lunch ready, etc., I want to treat my prime writing time that way as well. Yet that's easy in theory, harder in practice when I often get distracted, or wake up to a to do list from the night before. I actually get more done on the mornings of the three days I work in an office, because I know at a certain point I'll have to stop and get dressed and head off, than I do the days I work for myself on my own projects at home. It's a conundrum I'm trying to change. Today at noon EST (9 a.m. PST) I'll be doing my best to register for the Palm Springs 2018 conference Altitude Summit (generally called "Alt Summit") because I want to start learning from successful creative business entrepreneurs about how they manage their time and their best practices.

One thing I've been doing is getting more involved with Lady Smut, the group romance blog where I post monthly. I'm still posting once a month, but also working on our Lady Smut Romance Blog Facebook page.



My latest for Lady Smut was, for Pride month, an interview with Leandra Vane, author of the new BDSM romance Booked, whose action largely takes place in and around a small-town library. It has a kinky, bisexual male protagonist (who also deals with nerve damage), who has a male love interest and a female domme (Mistress). There's a lot more going on, but that should give you a good taste! Leandra took the time to answer my many questions about kink, disability, ownvoices, her characters' relationship with books, self-publishing and more.

Here's a snippet of what she had to say:

I used to think I shouldn’t write about disability in my fiction because people would call me a self-absorbed “Mary Sue.” But I learned that most of us carry around shame and never grow because we guard our secrets and experiences from each other. I believe by sharing our stories we can all learn and grow together. So I started mining the experiences living with a disability has given me and putting them into some of my stories. All my life I’ve turned to books to have the conversations with me that people in the real world were unwilling or unable to have.

Leonard also have a story in my anthology Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 3, which pubs in exactly five months, on November 21, in ebook form (the print version will be out December 12). Hint: Right now the print price on Amazon is only $10.47 (subject to change at any moment), lower than the $11.49 Kindle price (neither of which I have any control over, by the way). I'm in the midst of planning what I hope will be a BWE of the Year 3 book tour, though perhaps one spread out over a few months depending on my schedule and availability, so stay tuned.



I enjoy working for Lady Smut because I miss having a group blog; Cupcakes Take the Cake was my life for so long. I lived and breathed cupcakes, always on the hunt for the latest news, planning any trip, work or pleasure, around where to get cupcakes. Eventually, I had to step down because we weren't generating enough income for that project to be worthwhile. It's always hard to step away from a project you love, especially one you've built from scratch. I felt the same way shutting down my In The Flesh Reading Series, and this year, putting an end to my Between the Sheets LitReactor class. I miss the creative aspects of those projects, but they simply weren't feasible for my life or career by the time they ended.

Of course it's also hard when projects I've been hired to do end, like my Village Voice column or other ongoing columns I've written, but what I've learned over my career is that when one door closes, another may not automatically or instantly open, but those new doors are there, waiting for me to unlock them. For the record, I don't get paid to write for Lady Smut, so that and this blog are the only writing I do for free, but both are valuable to me in their own ways. I used to write for free (if anyone remembers all those Gothamist interviews), and while I don't regret it exactly because I got to do some amazing pieces, I think it set me back in terms of how I approach writing and money. These days I'm still doing as much freelancing as I can, but the majority of my income comes from my copywriting job and book sales. That may change, since last year I made most of my income from book sales, entertainment blogging and writing for sites like Salon. The one constant is that things will change, and I'm doing my best to pay attention and plot my own course. Speaking of which, this summer I hope to launch some new online classes related to writing erotica and having an erotica career. I don't have an exact date because there's a lot I have to learn on the technical side, but that too is something I'm working on, if not every day, most days, as I plot and plan and get ready for a new adventure that I hope will reach people who need some encouragement and guidance. When I've taught erotica writing classes in the past, I've been so thrilled with how many students have gone on to publish short stories and novels and truly make a name for themselves.

For now, I'm offering one-on-one consultations via my site Erotica Writing 101; you can learn more about working with me here. I've also written a blog post there on why erotica anthologies take so long to help writers understand that process, because I know it's frustrating to have to wait over a year to hear back from an editor such as myself. I'm working on more posts relevant to erotic writers and will be sharing them as they go up.

My interview with the authors of Queerly Beloved on how changing genders changed their marriage

I interviewed author couple Diane and Jacob Anderson-Minshall for Slate's Outward blog about their new memoir Queerly Beloved: A Love Story Across Genders. We talked for a long time (almost two hours!) so this is a brief overview of what we discussed, about how they went from a lesbian couple to a lesbian-identified bisexual married to a trasngender man, how their families and the GLBT community reacted, how changing genders affected Jacob and how he's perceived, and more. The book is one I recommend, whether you normally read about transgender or queer topics or not, because it's such an open look at how their relationship and marriage works, how deeply they know each other, though packed with revelations they reveal to each other (and the reader) over the course of alternating chapters. It's my first piece for Slate so if you liked it, I'd love it if you'd spread the word. I also recommend checking out their interview with Tristan Taormino on her Sex Out Loud radio show.

Talking sex, feminism, romance and The Fault in Our Stars with romance novelist Eloisa James

For Vulture's No Respect Week, I interviewed romance novelist Eloisa James, who's also a tenured Fordham professor of English literature, about feminism, sexuality, why romance is so hated, The Fault in Our Stars and more.

24/7 corset wearing and why Victorian underwear is better than ours

These are some of the things I discussed in my Salon interview with Sarah A. Chrisman, author of Victorian Secrets: What a Corset Taught Me about the Past, the Present, and Myself.

Perv author Jesse Bering on bestiality, pedophiles, and Miley Cyrus

I interviewed Jesse Bering, author of the new book Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us, for The Daily Beast, about bestiality, pedophiles, Miley Cyrus's infamous Vanity Fair photo and strange perversions.

My interview with Julie Maroh, author of graphic novel Blue Is the Warmest Color

Blue Is the Warmest Color is a graphic novel, originally published in French and out this month from Arsenal Pulp Press, about two women who fall in love, and the movie version is getting a lot of buzz. I interviewed author and artist Julie Maroh at Salon about her artistic process, the sex scenes in the book, feminism, her message for queer youth and more. If you like the interview, I'd love it if you'd spread the word and like it on Facebook. I hope to have more author Q&As coming up soon too, because I'm reading lots of fascinating books.

One of the interviews I'm most proud of doing, ever: Carry On, Warrior author Glennon Doyle Melton for The Fix

I've done dozens, if not hundreds of interviews, because that is one of the things I most love: seeing or reading or experiencing someone's art and getting the honor of picking their brain. And when a book changes my life and makes me rethink it and realize that being flawed isn't a bad thing, but perhaps makes you a stronger, more committed person, if you will it, then I'm even more humbled. For me, reading Glennon Doyle Melton's Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed changed my worldview and made me want to be a better person, based on her example. I'm extremely proud of my interview with her for The Fix. When someone is that raw, real, open and giving, it makes it easy to ask hard questions. Do also read her blog Momastery. She is right: we can do hard things. I'm learning that, baby step by baby step, one second at at time, as I rework myself into someone I can be proud of. In the book and on her blog, she quotes Anaïs Nin: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." That quote cut me right open because it's so true, and as someone who has lived in fear for what feels like forever, breaking out of that feels beyond liberating. It feels like something I have no words for. So thank you, Glennon, Anaïs, the Universe, for giving me the chance to remake myself into the best possible version of myself, with every moment, every decision, every failure, and reminding me why I need to.

I interviewed former Westboro Baptist Church member Lauren Drain

At The Hairpin, I interviewed Lauren Drain, author of Banished, about her time in the Westboro Baptist Church (and being banished from it). Interesting how often religion is cropping up in my life - been to temple twice this year, for a funeral and a bris, which is probably more than the last three years. And have another author interview coming up that touches on religion. Also, I'm doing lots more book coverage so if you are a publicist and have a new memoir, pop culture, current events, dating/relationship, addiction book or something else that I might like, I am accepting egalleys (and print copies if there are no egalleys). Email me at rachelkb at gmail.com and I will check them out. Netgalley is my new favorite website!

Former porn star Jennie Ketcham talks sex addiction, masturbation and healthy relationships

I interviewed Jennie Ketcham, author of the new memoir I Am Jennie and formerly known as porn star Penny Flame, about sex addiction, masturbation, reality TV, healthy relationships, female friendships and more at The Daily Beast. Here's one of the questions she answers: "Your recovery process for sex addiction included not masturbating, and making a masturbation trigger list. Why was that one of your rules?"

Why “Nerd Lottery” Winner Andrew Kessler Opened “Monobookist” Bookstore Ed’s Martian Book Stocking 2,500 Copies of His First Book

The other day I gushed over how cool Ed's Martian Book (which I keep wanting to call Ed's Martian Hand, in some misguided Dorian's Red Hand mental transposing) is? Well, I interviewed the Meatball Shop-inspired mastermind behind it, Martian Summer author Andrew Kessler. For The Nervous Breakdown, which makes me crazy nervous to write for. Hope you like it and if so, let people know!

My favorite line is at the end: "When you start thinking of ideas, the one that makes people the most nervous is the one you want."

Chronic pain, headaches, doctors, and more in my interview with Chocolate & Vicodin author Jennette Fulda at Alternet

I interviewed Chocolate & Vicodin author Jennette Fulda about headaches, chronic pain, well-meaning advice, coping mechanisms and more at Alternet. Please pass it on to anyone you know dealing with chronic pain. Thanks! And I promise I didn't just enjoy it because there's a cupcake on the cover. Fulda is very funny but also likens her headache journey to her weight-loss journey (her first memoir, Half-Assed, was about losing half her body weight) and discusses the various friends, blog readers and well-meaning but often clueless medical professionals she encounters along the way. You can buy the book on Amazon and also visit chocolateandvicodin.com for more information...after you read my interview!

My interview with historical romance author Sarah MacLean

I interviewed historical romance author Sarah MacLean, whose new book, Eleven Scandals to Start to Win a Duke's Heart, comes out in April, for SheWrites. Visit Sarah's blog for all the historical romances you should be reading (by which I mean, where I have discovered a ton of amazing authors) and giveaways and news about her books.



Below are the questions I asked her - read the interview to get the answers!

Why did you decide to focus on historical romance? Do you find the conventions of that subgenre conducive to your writing process or are they limiting?

You have 2 books out in your linked trilogy: Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake and Ten Ways to Be Adored When Landing a Lord, with the third, Eleven Scandals to Start to Win a Duke's Heart, due out in April 2011. How did you get the inspiration for them, and did you have all three mapped out when you started writing the first?

What kinds of research have you done to accurately write about the time period your books cover?

When you were 17, you stated that your dream occupation was romance novelist. What were the biggest hurdles to achieving that dream, and do you have any advice for budding romance writers?

My Bakerella interview and 3 Cake Pops recipes at Lemondrop

I interviewed the fabulous Bakerella (aka Angie Dudley) about her new book Cake Pops for the site Lemondrop. Not only that, but you get 3 fun recipes for basic cake balls, jack o' lanterns and yummy mummies, and cute photos, so do check it out! Photos below are from Cake Pops - click on them to read the Lemondrop piece.

Read this: Murder in Vein: A Fang-in-Cheek Mystery by Sue Ann Jaffarian plus my interview

I interviewed one of my favorite writers, mystery author Sue Ann Jaffarian, for She Writes; click to read her answers to these questions:

1. You write three mystery series (Odelia Gray, Ghost of Granny Apples and Fang-in-Cheek) and hold a full-time paralegal job. How do you juggle writing and having a day job, and keep track of so many protagonists?

2. All three series feature amateur, accidental and/or reluctant detectives, and fall under the category of cozy mysteries. What do you like best about writing cozy mysteries and what drew you to this type of mystery?

3. Your latest book, Murder in Vein, finds waitress and student Madison Rose suddenly at the mercy of some kindhearted vampires who take her in after she’s almost murdered. The book also pokes fun at the vampire craze, featuring people who desperately want to become vampires to the point of committing crimes. What do you think of people who call themselves vampires, and did you do any fun research for this book?

4. Location is very important to each of your series, whether it’s Los Angeles or Julian, California, for Ghost a La Mode or varying locations, like a corn maze, for Odelia Gray, yet it’s something that can get overlooked, especially with such twisting and turning plots you come up with. How do you see the role of place in your books, and do you have a favorite setting of the ones you’ve written about?

5. Odelia Gray is a feisty, plus-size amateur sleuth who’s often forging ahead in her investigations even when she’s been warned by those who love her to lay low. You’ve been lauded for her portrayal of women of size by the likes of actress Camryn Manheim and others. How do Odelia’s size and her personality intersect, and do you see Odelia as a role model?

Also check out her blog, where I got these images from:





Here's my review of her new vampire mystery Murder in Vein: A Fang-in-Cheek Mystery from Amazon:

I'm a fan of Sue Ann Jaffarian's other mystery series, but don't tend to read vampire stories so wasn't sure what I would think, but I loved this whodunnit, which delves into the world of vampires and vampire envy. Madison Rose finds herself shocked to discover that vampires are real, and that she almost died because of them. She goes to live with her new vampire "grandparents," who wind up becoming the only family she has, only to become the target of those who think if they kill her, they are on the fast track to permanent (as opposed to retractable) fangs. Jaffarian sends up vampire envy while introducing a whole new cast of characters, including a vampire council, with her own twist on the genre. She manages to make this a believable world, as she did with Ghost a la Mode, and Madison is an engaging heroine who is by turns wary and curious about the undercover community that takes her in. If you're a Jaffarian fan, you'll definitely want to check this out, and if you're a newcomer to her work, you'll enjoy the sly humor as well as the covens, clubs and coffins that populate Murder in Vein.

I interviewed Kristen Schaal and Rich Blomquist about The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex

Click through to read my interview with comedian Kristen Schaal and The Daily Show writer Rich Blomquist about their new book The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex. It's my first piece for excellent AOL blog Lemondrop, of which I'm a big fan!

5 Questions with Adena Halpern (29) and Susan Shapiro (Overexposed) at She Writes

My latest author interviews are both up at She Writes (and VERY excitingly, I get to interview one of my favorite mystery writers, Sue Ann Jaffarian, about her upcoming vampire mystery Murder in Vein! Look for that next month.) I've, of course, interviewed both authors for Gothamist back in the day (I feel like I can say that about just about everyone!).

5 Questions with Adena Halpern

5 Questions with Susan Shapiro

Read my interview with You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again author Heather McDonald

Yesterday my first piece for Crushable went up - I interviewed comedian Heather McDonald about her New York Times-bestselling memoir You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again: One Woman's Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up. She was a virgin until age 27, mostly by choice, but not for moral or religious reasons, which is an unusual and interesting angle. Please check it out.





Heather wound up waiting until she was 27, finally putting her birth control pills to work and going all with Ray, one of only three men she’s slept with. That scene and her description of him as “really consistent” and “really great” is anticlimactic in both sense of the word; Heather was simply ready, and he was a good guy, and he was there. “I was just trying to do my best to appear as though I had done this monumental act before,” she writes. She follows this up, though, with a lively ending when the man she goes on to marry winds up becoming a dad from a one-night stand, making her an instant stepmom.

“My advice would be past a certain age, unless you feel like he can handle it, I don’t think you need to tell them. If you want to tell them later, you can: by the way, you were my first. But I think the way I did it was wise,” she explains. “I didn’t want him to stick around longer because of guilt.”

Now happily married, she does sometimes miss the good old days. “I love when the guy’s in his underwear and you’re making out, doing the dryhumping grind. Or when you spend the night and you haven’t had sex and then every two hours there’s a boner in your butt. Once you do it you can’t go back.” Heather knows from experience; she sometimes tries to get her husband to pretend that they’re back in that stage, but he’s quite not as fond of blueballing as she is.

Read the full interview here.

Interview with Efrain's Secret author Sofia Quintero

I interviewed Sofia Quintero, author of the YA novel Efrain's Secret over at SheWrites. Check it out!

My Julie Powell Cleaving interview at The Daily Beast

Monday morning I flew home on a redeye. Monday night I went to The Meat Hook in Williamsburg to interview Julie Powell about her new memoir Cleaving: A Story of Marriage, Meat, and Obsession. I'm a little sad that the video we shot didn't come out, but hopefully in the future my flipcam will be in effect. Mostly I'm grateful I was able to do my job; 2 hours before I was sobbing hysterically with snot running out of my nose. Story for another time. Also good lesson: always find out exactly what will be happening in advance, take an author photo (especially when she's standing next to hunks of dead meat), and believe that everything will be okay. Sorry if it's obnoxious to link that way, but maybe that's a clue - I really want you to click through and read it since it's pretty much the only thing of substance I've done this stuffy-headed emotionally insane week!

Early reviews have shown as much squeamishness about the details of her affair as the gorier aspects of tearing apart hunks of meat. “My exploration of my sexual life felt like something I needed to write about,” she says. “It makes people uncomfortable. They get embarrassed for me, which I think is adorable, but if I get unhappy, that’s my problem; you don’t need to worry about me. I don’t like to be a big conspiracy theorist or feminist crazy person, but men have been writing about this for a long time. Maybe I don’t know what the f--- I’m getting into, but I wrote the book, I’m OK with it. You can criticize me all you like, but what you can’t do is say, ‘You’re a skanky, adulterous self-involved twit,’ because I wrote that already! It’s done; yes, that’s true.”