Email: rachelkramerbussel at


Lusty Lady

Watch my first and favorite book trailer for Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Get Spanked in print and ebook

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Read ths: Pretty by Jillian Lauren

Some Girls author Jillian Lauren, who I interviewed last year, is back with her first novel, Pretty. It's part of The Nervous Breakdown Book Club and I'm going to finish reading it this weekend. So far it's gripping and the language and story are fierce.

Here's the official description, more on this soon, and check out Jillian's site for her book tour dates!

It’s been one year since the car accident that killed her boyfriend left her scarred and shaken. Flanked by an eccentric posse of friends, she is serving out a self-imposed sentence at a halfway house, while trying to finish cosmetology school. Amid the rampant diagnoses, over-medication, compulsive eating, and acrylic nails of Los Angeles, Bebe looks for something to believe in before something–her past, the dangerously magnetic men in her life, her own bad choices–knocks her off course again.

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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The official Irresistible lineup

At long, long last...the hot hot lineup to Irresistible: Erotic Romance for Couples. I'm very excited to share this varied collection of stories, which includes many authors who I haven't worked with before. There's everything from a military family to getting over trauma to a sex scandal to a strip club (yes, that's my story) and much more! More closer to the pub date, including how to sign up for a free copy to review (I do that with every book, follow me @raquelita on Twitter for details). The book will have its own Wordpress site closer to the pub date, and I promise this makes a hot Valentine's Day gift!


Twice Shy Heidi Champa
Safe for Work A.M. Hartnett
Repaint the Night Janine Ashbless
Same As It Ever Was Cole Riley
Out of Control Karenna Colcroft
Warrior Kate Pearce
Hypocrites Alyssa Turner
The Pact Elizabeth Coldwell
Exposing Calvin Rachel Kramer Bussel
Six Eyes, Two Ears Kris Adams
Renewal Delilah Night
The Netherlands Justine Elyot
Predatory Tree Craig J. Sorensen
The Mitzvah Tiffany Reisz
After The Massage Kay Jaybee
Pink Satin Purse Donna George Storey

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Scorpio sex in hot historical romance Star Crossed Seduction by Jenny Brown

I'm debating whether to buy this just-published romance novel, Star Crossed Seduction, in paperback or on my Nook (and also a bit confused as to Barnes & Noble's loyalty program - I believe it doesn't cover Nook purchases, but if it does, then I haven't used it on the 10 or so purchases I've made and cannot for the life of me figure out how to). Anyway, ever since I read Jenny Brown's debut novel Lord Lightning I've been eager to read this. Go Scorpios! I've started a lot of historicals that I wound up putting down but hers made me race through it and almost not want it to end cause I was enjoying it so much, so I hope this one is just as good.

Read an excerpt free at Scribd

Jenny Brown has a great post (originally intended for the Borders Trueromance blog, alas) on her blog about the book, including:

One sentence summary: In this Scorpio-themed book, a war-weary Cavalry officer, who is looking for a night of dalliance, rescues a beautiful pickpocket from arrest, but their casual encounter leads to a no holds barred battle of the sexes that threatens their very lives--unless they can heal their wounded hearts.

Tell us one quirky thing about your hero? Trev is fluent in several of the languages of India and has earned a reputation as being an expert in the interpretation of Sanskrit manuscripts--including the Kama Sutra.

What is your heroine’s occupation: After the death of her lover, the revolutionary, Temperance and two young girls have supported themselves by picking pockets. Their only alternative was to work for the local bawd, Mother Bristwick.

What is your hero’s occupation: Trev, who grew up in a military family, is a cavalry officer recently returned from fighting in India's Third Maratha War. But his real love is the "little jobs" he undertakes from time to time for the scheming head of India's Political and Secret Department.

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Twitter party about Obsessed September 5th, win Babeland prizes!

For more information, see the Cleis Press Tumblr. See you on Twitter Monday night! Or anytime @raquelita (and @cupcakeblog, where we're inching toward 20,000 followers!). More free erotic romance excerpts from Obsessed coming soon, and I just finalized the table of contents for Irresistible and my 2012 oral sex anthology Going Down! But first, the books that are out.

We’re having a Twitter Party with Rachel Kramer Bussel Sept. 5, 7-9pm EST!

The hashtag will be #obsessedbook, and Rachel will be on hand to answer your pressing questions about the anthology, writing/editing, and who knows what else? There will be prizes for best questions: something fun donated by Babeland, and a copy (or three) of Obsessed - sent right to you. All you have to do is tweet!

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Monday, August 29, 2011

Call for submissions: Female submission anthology

You will receive a confirmation within 72 hours of submission, which will also let you know when you can expect to hear a response. If you don’t receive a confirmation within 72 hours, please feel free to resubmit.

Untitled Female Submission anthology (Title TBA)
Editor: Rachel Kramer Bussel
Publisher: Cleis Press (late 2012 or early 2013)
Deadline: November 1, 2011
Payment: $50/story, upon publication

This anthology of erotic stories will explore a wide range of female submission and male domination. Stories can be told from a female sub POV, a male dominant POV, or second or third person, as long as it’s a kinky erotic story focused on the topic. What's it like to be a female submissive, whether a full-time slave to a powerful master, or a kinky woman involved in an intense scene? These stories should explore the range of ways women submit to men, whether masters, husbands, boyfriends, play dates, strangers, Internet chatters, etc. Is the storyteller a lifelong bottom, or a new convert to kink, or simply enthralled to a particular man? Does merely offering herself up to any guy get her off, or does something about this particular top excite her? Can be long- or short-term relationships, single encounters, or anything in between, as long as the characters and plot are believable and the story is hot. Characters can be part of the BDSM scene/community or newcomers to the world of kink. I don't want simple snapshots of scenes that don't tell us anything about the characters' motivation. Please see my anthologies He’s on Top; Yes, Sir; and Please, Sir for an idea of the stories I prefer. No nonconsensual stories; all characters must be over 18. No scat or incest. No reprints.

I encourage you to think beyond clichéd scenarios, as well as thinking outside the box when it comes to "power play." I am especially looking for stories where not all of the erotic action is centered around physical sensation. There can also be more than two people in a given story or scene (or even just one if they are following someone's orders), and bisexual scenarios are welcome as long as the bottom/top relationship is a heterosexual one, as fitting the title. My biggest pet peeve with the submissions I've rejected in the past is lack of characterization/jumping into the BDSM scene too quickly. The more variety you can bring to the topic, the better your chances of your story being accepted.

Guidelines: Stories should be unpublished and not submitted elsewhere for publication. Stories should be 1,500 – 4,000 words, double spaced, Times New Roman 12 point font, in a Word document only. If it is truly impossible to send a Word document, please send as both a RTF AND in the body of the email. You MUST include your bio (50 words MAX) and full contact info (mailing address, phone number, real name/pseudonym) when you submit.

Payment will be $50/story and 1 copy of the book upon publication (late 2012 or early 2013). Contributors will retain the rights to their stories. You may submit up to two stories. Please note that the publisher has final approval over the manuscript.

Send your submission as a Word document to

Please make sure to follow ALL directions. I'm getting a lot of single-spaced, non-Word document submissions without bios or mailing addresses. Please also make sure you send your FINAL version of your story, not a first (and then second or third) draft. All of the pertinent information, including a polished version of the story and your bio/contact info should be included in a single email, not multiple ones. Thank you.

If you have any questions, please email

Deadline: November 1, 2011
Expect to hear back from me by April 2012
Payment: $50/story, upon publication (late 2012 or early 2013)

About the editor: Rachel Kramer Bussel ( is the editor of 39 anthologies, including Gotta Have It, Surrender, Best Bondage Erotica 2011, Bottoms Up, Spanked, The Mile High Club, Do Not Disturb, He’s on Top, She’s on Top, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, Crossdressing, Dirty Girls, and is Best Sex Writing Series Editor. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations, writes a column for SexIs Magazine, and hosted and curated In The Flesh Reading Series in New York for five years. Her writing has been published in over 100 anthologies, including Susie Bright’s X: The Erotic Treasury, Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006, and Zane’s Purple Panties and the New York Times bestseller Succulent: Chocolate Flava II. She has written for Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, Fresh Yarn, Mediabistro, Newsday, New York Post, Penthouse, Salon, Time Out New York, Zink and other publications.

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Sunday, August 28, 2011

Black Coffee Poet shows She's on Top some love, with sexy photos

Check out the Black Coffee Poet 3-part ode to my BDSM anthology She's on Top, including a review, interview with super sexy dominant female hotness, and a video reading!

She's on Top review

Interview with me about erotica, writing, feminism and more, plus hot BDSM photo essay including bondage and a hot female foot on male face tribute to the cover!

Video reading from She's on Top

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Nook ebook erotica by me!

Now that I have a Nook, I want to share easy links to buy my books via Nook. Here's what's currently available:

Obsessed: Erotic Romance for Women

Best Bondage Erotica 2011

Surrender: Erotic Tales of Female Pleasure and Submission

Hide and Seek

Passion: Erotic Romance for Women

Smooth: Erotic Romance for Women

Orgasmic: Erotica for Women

Please, Sir: Erotic Stories of Female Submission

Bottoms Up: Spanking Good Stories

Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica

The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories

Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories

Best Sex Writing 2009

Tasting Her: Oral Sex Stories

Tasting Him: Oral Sex Stories

Yes, Sir: Erotic Stories of Female Submission

Yes, Ma'am: Erotic Stories of Male Submission

Crossdressing: Erotic Stories

He's on Top: Erotic Stories of Female Submission and Male Dominance

She's on Top: Erotic Stories of Male Submission and Female Dominance

Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists

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Want to read: All These Things I've Done by Gabrielle Zevin

Yes, I found plenty of books I want to read, and started some on my Nook, like the thriller The Sixes by Cosmopolitan editor Kate White, but of course I always have more on my to read list (which I actually just made into a formal list so I don't forget). One of them is the excellent-sounding YA novel All These Things I've Done by Gabrielle Zevin (click through to watch a trailer on Amazon where she takes you to Jacques Torres). I mean, no chocolate and no coffee!!!??? The horror!

Here's the premise:

In 2083, chocolate and coffee are illegal, paper is hard to find, water is carefully rationed, and New York City is rife with crime and poverty. And yet, for Anya Balanchine, the sixteen-year-old daughter of the city's most notorious (and dead) crime boss, life is fairly routine. It consists of going to school, taking care of her siblings and her dying grandmother, trying to avoid falling in love with the new assistant D.A.'s son, and avoiding her loser ex-boyfriend. That is until her ex is accidently poisoned by the chocolate her family manufactures and the police think she's to blame. Suddenly, Anya finds herself thrust unwillingly into the spotlight--at school, in the news, and most importantly, within her mafia family.

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Safe in BK

I had a lovely weekend at home, which made me realize my true loner nature. I love people, but not 24/7, and especially in between traveling weekends it was perfect to have a little downtime. Good wakeup call that if I don't build more of that in all the Wellbutrin and Ritalin and whatever else I wind up taking won't be any good unless I actually make concrete changes to improve my life. Baby steps all the way. I feel 36 looming and while part of me cannot wait to be rid of the hell that 35 has been, I know I have infinitely more to learn, and the next 2 and a half months I'm hoping to cram as much knowledge in as I can to help me move toward my goals for 36 and 37 and beyond.

So, I'm looking forward to more weekends at home. Maybe with the phone off. Single girl gratitude FTW. I found lots of books I want to read, including library books like the very appropriate The Pile of Stuff at the Bottom of the Stairs b Christina Hopkinson, threw out a suitcase I don't use and purged a lot, though my organizing sessions was canceled since the subways weren't running. Snapped this yesterday - my neighborhood just got a lot of rain but all was fine. I'm on a bunch of book deadlines, and waiting for contracts so I can share with you the lineups of Irresistible and Going Down. I'm wrapping up my big 2012 books and writing a few 4,000-word stories and a few other pieces; if they pan out, I'll let you know! Announcing a new call this week too! Extremely relieved my book party is over and the only event I'm planning is my September 9th Vegas reading. Hope you're all safe and sound post-Irene.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Obsessed and The Lost book party photos

More photos soon! Thank you SO much to Tied Up Events, Fontana's, Caridad , Logan Belle and Emerald as well as everyone who showed up to last night's book party for making it such a fun event! Extra special thanks to Treat for the amazing, beyond delicious cupcakes. I asked for "chocolate" and got this amazing chocolate/vanilla swirl that basically replicated chocolate/vanilla swirl soft serve ice cream in cupcake form, with incredible glittery edible soft book covers. Loved them! See the official Obsessed site for more on the book.

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Thursday, August 25, 2011

My first self-published ebook: "Fishnet Queen"

I thought I'd posted this but I'm not sure, so if's my first self-published ebook, featuring my short story "Fishnet Queen" for only 99 cents!

"Fishnet Queen"

When Brad spies a beautiful fishnet goddess, her long legs covered with the tightly woven black design he so loves, he makes an offer she can't refuse: fishnets for life. In return, she fulfills his deepest fantasy by taking control of him and letting him serve her in the best way he knows how. This submissive man's leg and fishnet fetish come to life under the tutelage of a woman who knows how to take full advantage of them. "It's only a very specific kind of woman who makes me long to get down on my knees and worship my way from the tips of their toes all the way on up, and the fishnets are just a part of it."

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Sex Diary

This week's sex diary: "The 31-Year-Old Woman Developing a New Morning Ritual"

Sex column: "What Kind of Submissive Are You?"

My latest column - hope you like it. I have an addendum that I forgot (though probably wouldn’t have had room for). Another kind of submissive I’m not is one who likes to extend D/s stuff into real life, to the extent that they get blurred. To me that detracts from actually enjoying D/s. It can be a challenge not to let that happen, from either side, and I know from experience how harmful that can be for me. But, like with all things, I cannot change the past, can only try to live better/smarter now. For next time I am hoping to write about sex culture as opposed to my life. New me new me new me!

From the column:

I rarely take Internet quizzes to tell me what kind of personality I am, whether it’s which Sex and the City character or which dessert I most resemble, but I recently found one extremely intriguing: the submissive scale that my fellow SexIs writer Rachel Rabbit White posted on her website, which I highly recommend checking out whether you’re into kink or not (or aren’t sure).

The questions it asks are ones that could not only be fodder for fiction, but for introspection. I loved that, somewhat akin to the Kinsey scale of sexual orientation, the seven matrices of submission scale isn’t just asking us to pick a side, but to delve into the nuances of BDSM and submission, specifically. It doesn’t assume that just because you’re into one activity that falls under the BDSM umbrella (say, being tied up, being owned, being beaten, whether involving pain or not, etc.) that you’re into everything that does. While the scale itself doesn’t ask you why you gave a given answer, that further exploration could lead to some very interesting results, whether you’re tallying them solo or with a (play) partner or potential partner.

Read the whole thing

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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

My last book party is tomorrow night at Fontana's! See you there!

That may be overly dramatic, but tomorrow may actually be my last book party. More later on my mixed feelings about events. I'm excited about this, but also dreadfully nervous, as I always am, and full of guilt for not devoting as much time as I should have on promoting and organizing this. I'm sorry and am trying to do better. That kindof applies to my whole life, but I know making the same mistakes over and over and expecting different results is the opposite of maturity.

So I'm learning and growing and figuring out what I'm comfortable with in terms of expending time and energy, and what I'm not. It's a slow process, but I think what Gretchen Rubin says in The Happiness Project about happiness not deriving from the same activities for everyone is so true. I tend to think I "have" to do everything, even at the expense of my sanity, and I crash very hard, even though that's often private and more of an emotional implosion.

One thing my Salon hoarding essay has shown me is that hiding those fears and flaws and fuckedupness doesn't actually do me any good. I'm not saying I plan to post every single thought I have; in fact, I'm making a concerted effort, with a reward system, not to post such personal stuff anymore. But at the same time, I can't apologize for having feelings, but I can apologize for letting those feelings propel me to treat people poorly. I am sorry, and I'm trying to be better.

So yeah, in all likelihood my next book party will happen on the internets, though I may make a burlesque exception, but I'll deal with 2012 in 2012. I'm working very hard to stay day to day, moment to moment, because even this very second can seem overwhelming, let alone The Future. So make sure to come out! Chocolate book cover cupcakes are first come, first served!

Sex and Obesssion and Free Stuff at Fontana's!

Thursday, August 25 · 7:00pm – 9:00pm

105 Eldridge
New York, New York

Join editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and Obsessed contributors, along with The Lost author Caridad Piñeiro, and Tied Up Events for a fabulous book party celebrating The Lost and Obsessed: Erotic Romance for Women!

Author readings, free cupcakes, gift bags from The Pleasure Chest NYC, snacks, giveaways and more!

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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

October 12th reading with Tristan Taormino, Laura Antoniou and Sinclair Sexsmith!

A heads up about this reading! I must admit that often I get contributor copies of anthologies I have stories in and...don't read them. Partly because I'm busy, partly because I feel like I have erotica overload and my leisure reading is often YA, memoir and mystery. This one, Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica, though, I'll be devouring every story as soon as it comes in! And look, a cover blurb by Justin Vivian Bond, whose memoir Tango: My Childhood, Backwards and In High Heels I'm anxiously awaiting - I might not be able to hold out for the Nook edition and cave to the paperback. See more blurbs here.

October 12, 7:00 pm
Take Me There Reading @ Bluestockings

Join editor Tristan Taormino and local contributors as they read their work from Take Me There, a groundbreaking new collection of transgender and genderqueer erotica. Readers include legendary author of the Marketplace series Laura Antoniou, queen of erotica Rachel Kramer Bussel, and Sinclair Sexsmith of The Sugarbutch Chronicles.

Location: Bluestockings, 172 Allen Street (bet. Stanton and Rivington), NYC

Admission: Free and open to all. We will pass around the hat to help support Bluestockings, so please give what you can.

There will be other Take Me There events with Tristan; see her site for details.

Official Take Me There description:

In mainstream media, the erotic identities, sex lives, and fantasies of transgender and genderqueer people are often oversimplified, sensationalized, or invisible. Take Me There is an erotica collection unlike any other that celebrates the pleasure, heat, and diversity of transgender and genderqueer sexualities. The power of seeing and being seen is a central theme in the anthology; it’s not simply about passing or not passing (an idea often explored with transgender characters), but about being acknowledged and desired in a sexual context.

The book takes you from San Francisco to Israel, from heartache to lust, from stranger sex to a 10 year anniversary, from ballet shoes to butt plug bondage tables, from fumbling teenagers to leatherclad bears, from MTF and FTM—and in between and beyond.

Featuring renowned authors Kate Bornstein (Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation), Patrick Califia (Speaking Sex to Power), S. Bear Bergman (Butch is a Noun), Ivan Coyote (Missed Her), Julia Serrano (Whipping Girl), Laura Antoniou (The Marketplace), Helen Boyd (My Husband Betty), Rachel Kramer Bussel (Gotta Have It), Toni Amato (Pinned Down by Pronouns), Alicia E. Goranson (Supervillianz), filmmaker Tobi Hill-Meyer, musician Rahne Alexander, songwriter Shawna Virago, bloggers Andrea Zanin and Sinclair Sexsmith, and more.

I'm also revisiting Tristan Taormino's book Opening Up (also available for Kindle) because it's become newly relevant to my life (I'm not in an open relationship, but I am attracted to people who are). Visit for more information.

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Monday, August 22, 2011

"I'm a sex writer with a secret shame - hoarding"

I guess it's not a secret anymore, because I wrote about it for Salon! Read my essay "I'm a sex writer with a secret shame - hoarding" and if you like it, please, um, like it on Facebook if you do that sort of thing and/or pass it on to someone who might be interested. And please note that is an over two-year-old photo and my apartment is not "neat" but is in much better shape these days, but there's still a long way to go.

This is the piece I had it in my calendar to follow up on a month after submitting and turns out they were interested. I’m glad…and a little nervous. My editor, Sarah Hepola, helped me see the big connection between sex writing and hoarding, which was something I’d tacked on at the end. I think it hadn’t occurred to me sooner because sex writing is such an everyday, literally every day, part of my life that it doesn’t seem odd or unusual anymore. I’m very honored to be published at a site I’ve been reading for years and years, and inspired to keep writing about the challenging things, with Adair Lara’s words from Naked, Drunk and Writing in my head. Here’s the beginning:

Over the past decade as a writer specializing in sex, I've dished about my erotic escapades, from threesomes to kinky parties to a date gone wrong with a Top Chef. I've posed with a freshly spanked bottom for a sex blogger calendar, masturbated on HBO's "Real Sex" and edited books like "Best Bondage Erotica 2011." Writing about my intimate life has never felt awkward. I didn't grow up with shame around sex and didn't carry any of it into adulthood. Divulging those stories, as well as fictionalizing fantasies about bukkake or webcam exhibitionism, has been a way to understand and come to terms with my desires. Because I've been so open, though, some people think I have no skeletons in my closet. And I do -- or rather, I would if the two-bedroom Brooklyn, N.Y., apartment I've lived in for over 11 years had any closets.

Read the whole thing

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Bargain price on Irresistible and sneak peek!

Who knows how Amazon's pricing system works, but I do know that right now, for however long it lasts, my February anthology Irresistible: Erotic Romance for Couples, is on sale for only $8.63! What a bargain.

I'll be announcing the full table of contents soon, but my story is called "Exposing Calvin." Here's a snippet:

I’m usually the sexual instigator, and I don’t mind. I have a higher sex drive than he does, but he’s never turned me down. I’ve been the one to introduce toys, to get him to relax enough to let me play with his ass while I blow him, to ask him to spank me. It’s not that Calvin’s repressed, but there is still a part of him that thinks that other people will care what we do in bed, that feels like someone—not necessarily G-d, but someone—is watching every time we do anything the least bit risqué.

That makes me laugh because I’m not an exhibitionist, either, save for my occasional low-cut dresses, and if I thought someone was watching me get it on, I’d be self-conscious, too. We both grew up in small towns with Jewish families that were on the more buttoned-up side, but I escaped at eighteen and never looked back. Calvin, I’m afraid, is always on the verge of looking back, and in our thirteen years of marriage, my job has been to pull him forward, into both the future, and the knowledge that he is an adult and can enjoy his body.

Sometimes I do things just to shake him up, like when I went on my last business trip and gave him a bottle of lube and a porn DVD that I’d originally intended to take with me. “I think she’s hot,” I said, pointing to Jesse Jane. I knew he’d been tempted to roll his eyes at me⎯the blonde with the big boobs, really?⎯but then I pulled him down into our easy chair and started whispering in his ear, relaying the filthiest fantasy I could think of that ultimately involved his cock shoved between Jesse Jane’s breasts. By the time I took his cock out and started stroking it, he could barely last a minute. I know that inside him lurks the heart and soul of a pervy⎯a nice, friendly, pervy⎯guy, and I like to bring him out to play when I can.

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Cock and balls doughnut at Voodoo Doughnut

I loved the Voodoo Doughnut in Eugene, Oregon - no line, unlike the Portland version, and you can sit inside or out, and there's pinball. And, of course, amazing donuts, like this:

Also cute:

And these are the ones I tried - whoa! I shared the bottom banana/peanut butter/chocolate one with two strangers. I ate enough of it to feel a little was amazing. Doughy and coffee-cake-cinnamon-swirl-like inside, with chocolate and peanut butter and chocolate chips on top and banana inside. Totally worth it.

See more of my Voodoo Doughnut photos here.

And Eugene was gorgeous:

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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Powell's loves Please, Sir!

I'm blogging from the cafe at Powell's Books, where I bought two books by the poet Naomi Shihab Nye, whose work I've been eager to read but wasn't sure where to start, so getting to browse the shelves helped, and the new Ms. magazine and ogled the extensive erotica section and saw this:

Plus I walked by Voodoo Doughnut but will save a taste for Sunday. I am sleepy and heading off to Eugene and will have some exciting publication news to announce soonish.

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Live from the Shilo Inn

I was going to write a post rhapsodizing about my gigantic hotel room that's almost as big as my apartment, which I got for $75 including tax from Priceline, and how I'm torn between which I like more: sleeping, or that half-awake, half-asleep state when you don't have to get up just yet, but can lie there and consciously appreciate your sleep. But my body is creaky and I'm slowly adjusting to being on vacation and the West Coast and off to start my busy day (a few hours in Portland, then a few days in Eugene). So here is what I look like on a few hours of sleep. I would've tried to take a better photo but I really am exhausted, which is why my eye is wandering (when I was little I went to these weekly eye doctor sessions to work on that lazy eye, and now it doesn't affect me much except when I'm exhausted).

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Vote for my SXSW panel, please!

Please do me a HUGE favor and take a small moment to register and vote for my panel and if you're an extra special rockstar, leave a comment. And also please vote for Nichelle Stephens' solo talk "Major Laser Focus: From Dilettants To Polymaths". If we go we will throw another of our fabulous Cupcake Socials in Austin!

Vote for My SXSW Idea!

Sex, Dating and Privacy Online Post-Weinergate

Format Panel
Organizer Rachel Kramer Bussel – Freelance

1. Twanna Hines – Funky Brown Chick
2. Samhita Mukhopadhyay – Feministing
3. Violet Blue – Violet Blue

Description We’re living in an age when even powerful politicians can’t keep track of their digital dating trail. Employers and exes are likely reading your words. How can you write about sex, participate in online dating and social networking sites, and still maintain your privacy? Bloggers and authors Violet Blue (sex author, tech columnist; @violet blue and, Rachel Kramer Bussel (Lusty Lady, Best Sex Writing series editor), Twanna A. Hines (Funky Brown Chick®, The Late Sex Show with Twanna Hines), and Samhita Mukhopadhyay (author, Outdated: Why Dating is Ruining Your Love Life, Executive Editor,

1. Should you use your real name for all your online profiles?
2. How can you maintain a professional presence online separate from your personal/private one?
3. How do people who write about sex professionally balance the public/private divide?
4. How can online daters and social media users ensure their anonymity and privacy?
5. How should you handle online trolls or detractors?

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Monday, August 15, 2011

Sex diaries!

I think I forgot to blog last week's so here are two sex diaries from Daily Intel (I'm the editor) for you:

The Woman With Two Lovers Back-to-Back Who Doesn't Change the Sheets

The Administrative Assistant Learning How to Use a 'Spreader Bar'

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On the radio!

I was on the radio yesterday on The Mike and Judy Show with Mike Edison, Judy McGuire, and fellow guest Sheila McClear, author of The Last of the Live Nude Girls about her time in NYC's peep shows (she's reading tomorrow night in NYC at McNally Jackson). You can listen to us collectively talk, read, play guitar, and demur at certain questions here. And we got treated to pizza since it tapes at Roberta's Pizza in Bushwick!

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Sunday, August 14, 2011


Read this: The Junket by Mike Albo

I highly recommend the new Kindle Singles essay "The Junket" by Mike Albo!

Mike Albo would have every reason to be bitter - he agreed to go on a junket that is only very thinly veiled in this piece, that was covered extensively in NYC media sites, which resulted in his losing his column in the paper he refers to here as The New York Paper. Instead, he uses this essay as an opportunity to look back at his life as a writer in New York and the things he's had to do to make a living. What makes this such compelling reading is that Albo uses the humor he brought to The Underminer but he is as much the target of his sharp wit as anyone else, although his other targets certainly come under much-deserved scrutiny.

This particular junket's destination wasn't revealed until they reached their destination. Albo writes, "I wasn't so psyched to go to Jamaica, where gay people are maimed and killed and the prime minister made a special point to declare that LGTB rights would never be recognized, but on the plane the organizers got us all psyched. 'Can you believe it? I can't hear you! Jamiaca! Woooo!'"

He weaves in the story of the junket with his various jobs in Manhattan media, from working at "the Death Star for magazines but gayer" and learning not only how to cover high fashion, but how to covet it. Ultimately, this is a story that would make perfect reading for anyone considering writing as a profession, because Albo shows that even at the highest levels, at the pinnacle--and his description of not only what he did at The New York Paper but how it felt, as well as his continuing reverence, though not unreserved, for it, is one of the high points of this piece--it is still a struggle to survive.

Albo juxtaposes all the swag his colleagues received at various other magazines as well as his efforts to make the right decision about the junket with the outcome, in which The Paper first absolved him of wrongdoing, then changed its mind once it came under more minute scrutiny. But whether or not you agree with their decision, this piece has plenty of other merits, because Albo is not using it to settle a score or argue that he was in the right. In fact, he never points fingers, or this would read much differently and more as a way to settle a score than to explore why it is that he writes.

He concludes with a question about New York City that I think almost anyone who's lived here has been forced to ask themselves: is it worth it? "I have forgone something lasting to continue my long-term relationship with the most exciting but unreliable boyfriend of all--New York City. Maybe it's time to break up with it, to emancipate myself from the teasing, taunting, sexy metropolis that has kept me within its grip my entire adult life. But how do I break up with a city? How long am I supposed to believe I can 'make it' here? Or does none of it matter because it's all about advertising?" Once again, my biggest takeaway was how much Albo wants to write, and will go to whatever lengths he can to do it, not for the money per se, but for the expression. What you think that expression is worth is what's explored here, but I can safely say this essay is worth the $1.99.

And when you're done with it, I highly recommend my favorite piece of his: a tribute to a Katell Keinig concert that will wipe the idea of swag or writing about cravats right out of your mind, because it's so beautiful (in Sean Manning's anthology The Show I'll Never Forget).

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Thursday, August 11, 2011

I suck at widgets but I'll be chatting live tonight!

All the details and the widget I'm too dumb to copy (a girl's gotta pick her battles) and paste are here - see you live at 9! Thanks to Caridad Piñeiro for having me on. Join us LIVE, like in person with cupcakes, August 25th 7-9 at the Obsessed book party, my only book party this year. Vibrator, massage candle, and poster giveaways!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

"Ass Men and Butt Babes"

I wrote "Ass Men and Butt Babes" and interviewed photographer Dave Naz about his new book Butt Babes.

photo by Dave Naz

Butt Babes has a foreword by Lydia Lunch!

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Monday, August 08, 2011

Chess erotica/Naked Reader Book Club discusses G Is for Games

Tuesday night, August 9th, from 8 to 10 pm EST, the Naked Reader Book Club will discuss the Alison Tyler anthology G Is for Games, which includes my chess erotica story "Check, Mate." This URL is where the chat will actually take place.

Here's a snippet from my story "Check, Mate:"

Thinking about fucking him not only helps pump me up to win the game, it allows me to mask my true thoughts; I've never had much of a poker face, and have blown games when bursts of utter glee raced across my face, causing my opponent to revise their hastily drawn plans. The more he makes me wait, the more tempted I am to blow the game, fold my king in humiliation, sweep the pieces to the floor, and slam him against the wall. His slow manner seems to mock me, as if he feels none of the same urgency. In my befuddled state I drop my pen on the ground and when I bend down to pick it up, I really can’t help but look up at his erection. Oh, it’s there all right, silently straining against his jeans, thick and solid and all mine. At least, it will be once we get this damn game over with. I sit back up but still feel antsy, twiddling with the pen in my lap. His eyebrows twitch and he bites his lip as his eyes careen around from one side of the board to the next. Eventually I stand and stroll behind him, try to literally look at the board from his angle, from his side, but even so, I miss what he’s been plotting all along. It seems so obvious once I fall into his trap, but until then, I’m utterly confident in my moves.

I have no time to be shocked or fight back; his pieces have already entered my lair. I’m exposed just as surely as if I were strung up spread-eagled, my pussy open and vulnerable. That’s what I think about as I tremblingly move my king one short step away from doom. But he comes at me again, this time moving faster, pouncing. A quick glance at his face finds it smooth, unmarked by wrinkles as my heart pounds at this new development. The onlookers fade from my peripheral vision as we duke it out on the board. A glimmer of an exit path beams at me, but he squelches it in moments until my king stands naked, quivering, before I’m forced to surrender him to the obvious conclusion. Yet I don’t feel like I’ve lost; my brain is on fire, not to mention my pussy.

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