That may be overly dramatic, but tomorrow may actually be my last book party. More later on my mixed feelings about events. I'm excited about this, but also dreadfully nervous, as I always am, and full of guilt for not devoting as much time as I should have on promoting and organizing this. I'm sorry and am trying to do better. That kindof applies to my whole life, but I know making the same mistakes over and over and expecting different results is the opposite of maturity.
So I'm learning and growing and figuring out what I'm comfortable with in terms of expending time and energy, and what I'm not. It's a slow process, but I think what Gretchen Rubin says in The Happiness Project about happiness not deriving from the same activities for everyone is so true. I tend to think I "have" to do everything, even at the expense of my sanity, and I crash very hard, even though that's often private and more of an emotional implosion.
One thing my Salon hoarding essay has shown me is that hiding those fears and flaws and fuckedupness doesn't actually do me any good. I'm not saying I plan to post every single thought I have; in fact, I'm making a concerted effort, with a reward system, not to post such personal stuff anymore. But at the same time, I can't apologize for having feelings, but I can apologize for letting those feelings propel me to treat people poorly. I am sorry, and I'm trying to be better.
So yeah, in all likelihood my next book party will happen on the internets, though I may make a burlesque exception, but I'll deal with 2012 in 2012. I'm working very hard to stay day to day, moment to moment, because even this very second can seem overwhelming, let alone The Future. So make sure to come out! Chocolate book cover cupcakes are first come, first served!
Sex and Obesssion and Free Stuff at Fontana's!
Thursday, August 25 · 7:00pm – 9:00pm
New York, New York
Join editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and Obsessed contributors, along with The Lost author Caridad Piñeiro, and Tied Up Events for a fabulous book party celebrating The Lost and Obsessed: Erotic Romance for Women!
Author readings, free cupcakes, gift bags from The Pleasure Chest NYC, snacks, giveaways and more!