Email: rachelkramerbussel at


Lusty Lady

Watch my first and favorite book trailer for Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Get Spanked in print and ebook

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Exactly how a reading should go

I'll post more about the 2 readings, Thursday's with Susie Bright for X: The Erotic Treasury at Books Inc., and last night's FABULOUS one at Good Vibrations in Berkeley. Huge thank yous to all the Good Vibes staff for being so friendly, cool, and helpful (they laid out wine, sparkling water, cheese, crackers, fruit and something sweet I didn't try!) and were offering 15% off all erotica that night, Cleis Press, especially my awesome publicist Brenda Knight, and the readers: Tracy Clark Flory, Mary Roach, Violet Blue, and Mistress Morgana Maye. I was meeting Mary Roach and Mistress Morgana for the first time, and all were really inspiring. I'm not sure that I'd ever heard Violet read before, and she was fabulous as well. Picking out which one of her columns to include in the book was one of the biggest (though welcome) challenges of putting this collection together.

And of course thank you to everyone who packed the place and made it such a welcoming environment. I lived in Berkeley for 3 years and at the time never could've imagined I'd be writing about sex the way that I do. I didn't even use a vibrator back then, hadn't even seen one in person! Yes, I was a very sheltered college student in many ways. So that was very exciting for me and now I'm hoping to come back in April or so for Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories and The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories.

L to R: Tracy Clark-Flory, Mistress Morgana Maye, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Violet Blue, Mary Roach
photo via Violet Blue on Flickr; thank you to the man whose name I forgot who took it!

One of my favorite things to ask people is how they heard about the reading; some people said online, many said via the East Bay Express and San Francisco Bay Guardian. One guy had bought the book at GV and came back to hear us. Tracy's family was there, and it was packed and really fun. I love reading and editing, but there is nothing like hearing authors read their work, with asides, in their own voice.

Also, I was very honored to meet Ericka Lutz, who I've read online and off. I'm hanging out with the very cool Single Mom Seeking author and Rachel Sarah this weekend.

If you missed us or just can't get enough sex writing, and/or want the cupcakes I'm going to bring on Monday night, come on out to Booksmith at 7:30, Monday, February 2nd, to hear me, Violet Blue, and Tracy Clark-Flory. 1644 Haight Street, San Francisco. Violet Blue snapped this photo of the store:

(the misspelling of my name, though, really has to stop - I don't know where it comes from or why when paired next to a properly spelled postcard it isn't caught, but the same thing happened with GV in umpteen listings. it's not the end of the world, it's just that it happens ALL the time.)

As always, read more about Best Sex Writing 2009 right here.

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Friday, January 30, 2009

Mary Roach reading from Best Sex Writing 2009

She's reading about dead peoples' orgasms!

Good Vibes!

Good Vibes!
Originally uploaded by
Great crowd here for the reading!

T-shirt at Little Otsu

Having a stroll along Valencia on my way to a bakery. tour at The Armory

Thanks to Thomas Roche for the tour!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Susie Bright speaking

More photos TK.

At Books Inc.

Airplane reading: Diana Joseph, Jyris Abrahams, Lynn Weingarten

Any book with "slut" in the title, I want to read. Diana Joseph is
awesome, especially when she hears her teenage son call a girl a slut
and muses on her own slutty past.

Kyria Abrahams is a NYC comedian and her memoir is about growing up as
a Jehovah's Witness. Also hilarious.

Haven't started Wherever Nina Lies but author Lynn Weingarten is
trading with Robin Palmer February 11th and I'm going so figured I
should check it out beforehand. Am still on a huge YA reading kick.

If you're wondering, there are more books on my luggage. Just because.

JFK Obama mercy

Will I get lucky?

Well, I already feel lucky. Typical me, I was rushing to pack, thought
I'd be late. Awesome car service driver got me to JFK in 20 minutes,
fastest ride ever.

Have discovered secret to making my flights: misread departure time. I
was all stressed about my 10:20 flight...that is actually a 10:50
flight. Awesome. I use this time to catch up on gossip mags.

Inflight wifi would just be icing on the cupcake.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Oh yeah, my last The Frisky column and visiting my ex

I feel so weird always saying "my ex" or "my ex-boyfriend" since it's not like it's a secret who he is, but anyway...I wrote my final Dating Drama column for The Frisky on how to deal with an ex. As in, do you stay friends? Don't talk at all? Do what I'm about to do and probably sleep with them?

Speaking of breakups, rejection and the like...I've been assured by my two very awesome editors there that it wasn't me, and it wasn't them, but the economy. At first, of course I was upset because nobody likes to be told their writing is no longer needed, plus I had just updated all these bios saying I write that column, and, yes, the money. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was fun while it lasted but is totally cool with me. It frees up my mind and my energy to write about other things; I just pitched a parenting mag and am gonna keep doing so until I start breaking into that market.

But I'm hoping to go back to pitching some more salacious things for The Frisky, like some of my Dealbreakers, and also kindof looking forward to not having to mine my dating life for material every week. I loved the opportunity and would do it again in a heartbeat, but I'm not gonna lie; having a guy you're kindof seeing, or something, read every column, is challenging.

So that's where that's at. As for me visiting my ex, well, I miss him, and this is hopefully my last Bay Area visit for a while. I feel like I know SFO and the two Sephoras there like the back of my hand. I have a lot of mixed feelings about him, us, our breakup, and while I am trying to move on, and doing pretty well, to not see him would be weird, especially given the circumstances of tomorrow's reading. It just feels right.

I am treating myself to a hotel on Sunday, just haven't figured out which one.

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My Bay Area mini book tour

I'm a bit crazed as I get ready for 5 days in the Bay Area. Just bought gifts for all the kids I'm visiting (baby twins, a 4-year-old boy and a 8-year-old girl). Have been trying to remember what I need to postcards plugging my Booksmith reading, and my copy of X: The Erotic Treasury to get signed.

Gonna do my best not to be online the entire time there, but I'm sure I'll be checking in. Sunday I think I'm gonna find a hotel, since it was so fun staying in one last weekend. I fly home on a redeye Monday night after the reading, then on Tuesday evening I have to call in about jury duty on Wednesday!

If you're not in the Bay Area, please pass this on to someone who is who might like these events. You can read my introduction to Best Sex Writing 2009 here.

January 29, 7:30pm

Books Inc. for X: The Erotic Treasury with Susie Bright
16th and Market St., San Francisco

Rachel Kramer Bussel
Greta Christina
Donna George Storey
Susie Hara
Susie Bright

January 30, 6:30 pm - 7:30 pm (this is the right time)

Best Sex Writing 2009 reading
Rachel Kramer Bussel reads from new anthology Best Sex Writing 2009 with local contributors, including Mary Roach (author of Bonk), Violet Blue (San Francisco Chronicle sex columnist), Mistress Morgana Maye (Sex for America contributor), and Tracy Clark-Flory (
Good Vibrations, 2504 San Pablo Avenue (at Dwight Way), Berkeley, CA

February 2, 7:30 pm

Best Sex Writing 2009 reading
Rachel Kramer Bussel reads from her new anthology Best Sex Writing 2009 with local contributors, including Violet Blue (San Francisco Chronicle) and Tracy Clark-Flory (
Booksmith, 1644 Haight Street, San Francisco

I'm also gonna shoot a fun video in Booksmith where I check out what they have to offer erotica-wise. Looking forward to that, and to shopping at all 3 stores! I haven't bought a sex toy in a really long time, and books...well, I can always use more books.

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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Article on me, porn and feminism in East Bay Express

Rachel Swan wrote a fabulous piece in the East Bay Express about me, Best Sex Writing 2009, and my anti-porn Berkeley days and plugged Friday's Berkeley Good Vibrations reading with me, Mary Roach, Violet Blue, Mistress Morgana Maye and Tracy Clark-Flory (FREE at 6:30-7:30, Good Vibrations, 2504 San Pablo Avenue at Dwight Way, Berkeley, CA). Though just fyi, I was at Comix in the hallway so the reception might've been bad - I said "Chippendales" and it came out "Chip and Dale" which cracks me up. But I love it, and they used Stacie Joy's new photo of me in bed with champagne.

Once upon a time as a very young and looking-back-on-it ridiculous student at Cal, I sent little restaurant reviews, I think, in to the East Bay Express. And that's where Gina Arnold got her start, right? I'm so looking forward to revisiting my old Berkeley haunts (is Yogurt Park there anymore?). But mostly to the readings and hanging out with Rachel Sarah and Mary Pols.

Crossing my fingers that the paper that rejected me as a columnist my senior year, The Daily Californian, (which started one of the first college sex columns, "Sex on Tuesday") will somehow cover this. But even if they don't, my pal Jon Friedman, whose book Rejected came out today (read my interview with him at the Huffington Post), will support me in seeing the bright side of rejection, I'm sure.

Bussel's transformation reflects a larger paradigm shift in feminism and pornography. Once the domain of prudish, anti-smut crusaders like Andrea Dworkin, the feminist movement has given way to a generation raised with Good Vibrations and Internet porn. Yesterday's forms of exploitation are now considered hip and progressive — a woman who lands a strip club gig to put herself through college now gets approval from her feminist peers, rather than the cold shoulder. "I think to some degree there's a generation divide," said Bussel. "My mother doesn't like the fact that I write erotica or work for a porn magazine. I don't think my generation thinks everything going on in the porn industry is awesome, but we're much more open about it, and more cognizant of people our age who are making porn. We see it more as an issue of, 'If you don't like it, make your own.'"

As a result, porn has become a new realm for feminism. These days women write all the sex columns for college newspapers; they post naked pictures on the Suicide Girls web site; they gab freely and openly about cybersex, orgasms, spitting and swallowing. In fact, they dominate a lot of the public discourse about sex. A quick glance at the sex-writing industry shows that a substantial niche has been
Sex in the City-fied, and rendered into a virtual matriarchy.

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Susie Bright at In The Flesh, February 19, 7:30, free, pass it on

I should be telling you about my little Bay Area mini tour but for now, I just got all this linked and prettied up so I will share. I cannot stress enough how much I recommend arriving when the doors open at 7, especially since we start at 7:30 so there's time for Q&A and booksigning.

I think Happy Ending will be opening up the downstairs for extra guests but...there will be no sound piped there. So mark your calendars! And please pass this on. Xis a beautiful and extraordinary book and I'm beyond honored to have my bukkake story "A First Time for Everything" in it (I'm reading from it with Susie Thursday at Books Inc. in SF!) and to have my reading series immortalized in Marcelle Manhattan's "Second Date" and get to hear her read it. Meta on meta!

February 19th at 7:30 PM
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey or F/V to 2nd Avenue,
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676

Susie Bright reads at In The Flesh 2/19

The legendary author, editor, activist and sexual provocateur Susie Bright joins us from Santa Cruz, California to celebrate her beautiful new hardcover anthology X: The Erotic Treasury (Chronicle Books), which includes a story set at In The Flesh which you will hear! Joining Susie will be contributors Paula Bomer, Ernie Conrick, Martha Garvey, Nicholas Kaufmann, Tsaurah Litzky, Marcelle Manhattan, Lisa Montanarelli, Chelsea Summers and host/curator Rachel Kramer Bussel (Best Sex Writing 2008, Spanked). Special guest Maxim Jakubowski, editor of the Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica, also joins us from London. Note special start time (for February only): 7:30 pm. Doors open at 7. Arriving early is highly recommended. Books will be available for sale by Mobile Libris. There will be a Q&A with Susie and book signing after the reading.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the city's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Lily Burana, Jessica Cutler, Stephen Elliott, Valerie Frankel, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, Andy Horwitz, Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, Edith Layton, Logan Levkoff, Suzanne Portnoy, Sofia Quintero, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Dana Vachon, Veronica Vera, Susan Wright, Zane and many others. The series has gotten press attention from the New York Times's UrbanEye, Escape (Hong Kong), Flavorpill, The L Magazine, New York Magazine, New York Observer, Philadelphia City Paper, Time Out New York, Gothamist, and Wonkette, and has been praised by Dr. Ruth.

Susie Bright is the editor of X: The Erotic Treasury as well as the author and editor of multiple best-sellers on the themes of sexual politics and erotic literature, including The Best American Erotica series, Full Exposure, and The Sexual State of the Union. She blogs on sex and politics every day at ad hosts the weekly audio show In Bed with Susie Bright at

Rachel Kramer Bussel is an author, editor, blogger and reading series host. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations and a former sex columnist for The Village Voice. She’s edited numerous anthologies, most recently Best Sex Writing 2009, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, and Spanked. Her writing been published in publications such as Clean Sheets, Cosmopolitan, Fresh Yarn, Huffington Post, Mediabistro, Newsday, New York Post, Penthouse, San Francisco Chronicle, Tango, and Time Out New York, and in over 100 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006. She has hosted In The Flesh since October 2005.

Paula Bomer is a writer from South Bend, Indiana who now lives in New York. Her fiction has appeared in Best American Erotica 2002 and 2003, Nerve, Open City, Fiction, The Mississippi Review, The First City Review, The New York Tyrant, juked, Storyglossia, Word Riot and elsewhere.

Ernie Conrick is the penname of Richard Connerney, a religions and philosophy scholar who recently returned from India as a Phillips Talbot Fellow studying the influence and impact of religion on Indian life and society. He is the former senior editor of Tricycle: The Buddhist Review, and the author of Safe in Heaven Dead. One of his previous erotic short stories, “The Queen of Exit 17,” was published in The Best American Erotica, and had the distinction of being Hunter S. Thompson’s favorite story from the series.

Martha Garvey’s fiction has been published in The Best American Erotica, Exhibitions, Glamour Girls, Strange Pleasures 3, Salon, Clean Sheets, Bust, and November 3rd. Her essays have appeared in The New York Times and Killing the Buddha. She is also the author of two pet health books, My Fat Dog and My Fat Cat.

Maxim Jakubowski is a writer and ex-publisher who lives in London. He edits and pens erotica, being responsible for The Mammoth Book of Erotica series and several novels and short story collections including recently American Casanova, Fools for Lust and Confessions of a Romantic Pornographer, and the Rome Noir anthology being published in the USA this week. In civilian life, he is better known for his crime and mystery books and runs London's annual TCM Crime Scene festival, as well as being a regular contributor to The Guardian newspaper. He has been known to frequent hotel rooms and has no website. Read into that what you will.

Nicholas Kaufmann is the Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of General Slocum's Gold and Walk in Shadows, and the editor of Jack Haringa Must Die!, a fundraising anthology benefiting the Shirley Jackson Awards. His short fiction has appeared in Cemetary Dance, The Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica 3, City Slab, The Best American Erotica 2007, Playboy, X: The Erotic Treasury, and elsewhere. Nick lives in Brooklyn.

Tsaurah Litzky writes erotic fiction because she has a perpetual case of steamy stockings. She hopes her stories will steam your stockings, too. Tsaurah's erotica has appeared in over sixty-five publications including Best American Erotica eight times. Simon & Schuster published The Motion of the Ocean, Tsaurah's erotic novella as part of Three the Hard Way, a series of erotic novellas edited by Susie Bright. Her prize-winning course "Silk Sheets: Writing Erotica" is now in its eleventh year at the New School in Manhattan. She has recently completed a collection of short stories, End Of The World Sex.

Marcelle Manhattan launched the popular blog "Sexegesis" in 2007, combining sexuality with gender politics. She first appeared at In the Flesh as a spectator, and later as a reader with "Shaved," something of a hit on YouTube. Marcelle is currently on blogging hiatus while working on a novel version of her blog, and can also be seen bi-monthly at Bar On A with the comedy writers' troupe "Inner Monologues." She holds an M.A. in Literature but dropped out of her Ph.D. to write smut, among other things, in New York City.

Lisa Montanarelli's erotic fiction has appeared in Best American Erotica 2004, Best American Erotica 2005 and Whipped, among others. She has co-authored three nonfiction books, including The First Year – Hepatitis C: An Essential Guide for the Newly Diagnosed, which she revised and updated in 2007. She also holds a Ph.D. in comparative literature from U.C. Berkeley.

Finding herself uninspired to write her doctoral dissertation, Chelsea Summers began writing her award-winning blog ( in March 2005. Since then, her work has appeared in GQ, Penthouse, and Singular magazines in the United States and in Scarlet, a couple magazines in the UK, on a bunch of big websites, and in several erotic anthologies. Currently, Chelsea is working on a novel and a host of other projects. Chelsea lives and writes in glamorous New York City. She has gleefully abandoned the world of academia for the writing life.

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Monday, January 26, 2009

More outtakes from the Do Not Disturb book trailer shoot

More Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories book trailer photos, many, many more (a total of 113), all by the shoot's official still photographer, Stacie Joy. It's a guest pass. Mostly safe for work but there's one where you can see my boobs so if you don't want to see my boobs or various makeout sessions or the beta fish or lightup glass dildo, don't click through.

Here are a few of my favorite shots:

Laughing in between making out with Audacia Ray

The elevator makeout session, before it came to an abrupt halt

And this is my absolute favorite cause it perfectly captures how I felt at the end:

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Go hear Linda Furiya read tonight from How to Cook a Dragon

I'll be at the SXSW pre-party but otherwise I would totally go hear food memoirist Linda Furiya read from her excellent new book How to Cook a Dragon: Living, Loving and Eating in China. I'm about a third of the way through; it's about her moving there from San Francisco, to live with a guy, getting mistaken repeatedly as being Chinese (she's Japanese-American), culture shock, and such.

January 26th, 2009


at Greenwich Village
396 Ave of the Americas at 8th Street
New York, NY 10011

Here's the official blurb, more from me on this when I'm done:

When Linda Furiya decided to move to China with her boyfriend at the age of thirty, she hoped to find romance and ethnic kinship. Expecting common ground with locals as an Asian American, Furiya struggled with her ambition as a food writer in a nation where notions of race and gender are set in stone. During the six years she lived in Beijing and Shanghai, Furiya experienced a wide range of experiences—loneliness, isolation, friendship, and love—tied together by one common theme: food.

Ultimately, Furiya surpassed these challenges and found inspiration from the courageous Chinese women who graced her life. The sensuous experience of preparing and eating authentic Chinese cuisine follows Furiya throughout her journey, and ultimately reveals the intimate, nurturing side of the Chinese culture and people. Part insightful memoir, part authentic cookbook,
How to Cook a Dragon is a revealing look at race, love, and food in China.

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Sunday, January 25, 2009


Originally uploaded by
Love that there's a restaurant called Diva. I'm rarely on West
Broadway so much is new to me.

My erotic love letter workshop, 92nd Street Y Tribeca, February 12th

I'm teaching an erotic love letter/Erotica 101 workshop (I'm gonna do a little of both) at the 92nd Street Y Tribeca, 200 Hudson Street, NYC, on February 12th, for the very reasonable price of $12 (or $17 with cocktail). Register here. I think it'll be fun and hopefully I'll have a new call for submissions by then; I love when I get to publish people who've taken my workshops, as happened with one of the stories in Tasting Him (which was both an "erotic love letter" and a story).

My goal as an editor this year is to publish more new authors, both new to erotica and new to me, which I am definitely doing with my book Peep Show, which I'm working on now, about voyeurism and exhibitionism, with a very heavy sex work emphasis. (Anyone who's submitted, you will hear from me by the end of February with at least a preliminary answer.) I hadn't expected people to take the title "Peep Show," which was more a play on words, so literally, but I like the way it's turned out. Editing anthologies is sortof about giving up control, even though ultimately you are in control, because you have the idea and perhaps a vision for it, but how it turns out is often different from what you'd expected, which to me is part of the fun.

I hope you can make it, and please tell your friends.

Here's the official blurb:

Express your sexiest thoughts on paper for the object of your affection. This class, taught by erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, will give both male and female students the basic tools for crafting short erotic fiction and letters. Pen and paper will be provided, along with handouts, a suggested reading list and sample stories.

Help get in the mood with our cocktail-plus-ticket combo.

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More behind the scenes book trailer shots

See what happens when there are so many cameras in the room? These are from my friend Audacia Ray, who I've actually known longer than anyone who was at the shoot. And, as she puts it, we "may or may not have made out" in the trailer. You'll have to wait to find out! Via Audacia Ray's Flickr stream

Her caption: "I'm wearing RKB's lingerie. That's why it's not red or black."

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My book trailer champagne hangover

I don't normally drink, but when the woman checking you in at the SoHo Grand offers you a glass of champagne, and three more for your friends, it's hard to say no. That was just the start of what was a hilarious, ridiculous, sexy, silly afternoon/evening of drinking, making out, light-up sex toys, pizza, flirting, getting in trouble, room service requests (a fish in a fishbowl! toothbrush and toothpaste! tampons!) and fun as we shot the book trailer for my upcoming anthology Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories. You can read the introduction here.

Needless to say, the budget for this shoot (which I hope it's clear all comes out of my pocket) was a good bit higher than for the Spanked book trailer, but I think it's gonna be even hotter, and was fun to collaborate with my friends. There's a lot more we could do with a larger cast and some creativity. Now I just have to be patient and see what magic my awesome director cooks up. I trust her and admire her video skills, which is why I hired her for the first one. To me, these are, yes, a work product, but also something fun that showcases some part of why I do what I do.

I have plans to do a sort of "trailer" about my writing generally, and to put together a best of reel from In The Flesh, but will wait for us to tape Susie Bright and include that! My point is, video is so different from working just with words. It's collaborative and there's a lot of unexpected things, good and bad, that can happen, and I hope to get the chance to do more trailers and video promo. Also, major props to for finding me the cheap rate on the room! I definitely plan to use them again. I've decided that four times a year, when I get my royalty checks, I'm going to treat myself to a hotel room stay, because I deserve it.

I got to kiss two hot friends of mine, which was fun but I had to block out the cameras clicking away to truly enjoy it, found that, yes, I do indeed like champagne quite a bit, did several costume changes, and went to sleep (alone, thank you) in an insanely luxurious, comfortable bed while the roomed seemed to spin around me. The trailer should be up by Valentine's Day, the book's officially out March 1st, and in late March there will be a book party at a hotel somewhere in Manhattan!

Thank you to everyone who helped in so many ways make it incredibly fun and memorable.

For now, a few of my photos from yesterday (many more on the way, considering that my friend Stacie Joy was on hand to shoot stills and everyone else seemed to have an iPhone on hand):

Hot towels at checkin:

The view from the room:

These I bought in Brooklyn, as the mini bar pricing is...quite expensive.

Twanna opening the 2nd bottle of champagne (I learned how to open a bottle too, later)

OMG this bed was so comfy to sleep in!

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Saturday, January 24, 2009

Um, yes

Um, yes
Originally uploaded by

I heart Westville East

My first time but I already can't wait to come back. Veggie plate rules!

Book trailer shoot supplies!

These are for my actors. I will be sporting various outfits, including
my undies!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Belated birthday wishes to my favorite Funky Brown Chick

In The Flesh Reading Series
photo by Stacie Joy

I'm too tired to be more coherent, so I will just say that Twanna A. Hines, better known to many as Funky Brown Chick, is one of my favorite people in the world. She's like my sister in crime, and cupcakes, and art, and lateness, and misadventures, and sex, and SXSW, and on and on...seriously. Kindof hard to explain but just try to get in the middle of the two of us when we are having a conversation, or when we are, I don't know, being driven around Atlanta totally lost, and you'll see. It's funny because we have many differences (like babies - I want, she doesn't) but also so many similarities (see above).

Tuesday was her birthday and she went to celebrate her Senator's inauguration! (She lives here now but is a Chicago girl at heart, I think, though I think we now have a pact not to talk about moving out of New York and making the other person sad.)

Happy Birthday Twanna! I shall feed you a cupcake next time I see you.

And if you're going to SXSW Interactive, don't miss her panel, "How to Protect Your Brand Without Being a Jerk!" on Monday, March 16th.

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latest Dating Drama column

Been busy with various deadlines and getting ready for Saturday's book trailer shoot for Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories (to be shot, yes, at a hotel) and next week's trip to the Bay Area (full details about all 3 readings TK) and forgot to post the link to my most recent Dating Drama column for The Frisky. It's about what the best time of the day is for sex, and I get to quote Alison Tyler even!

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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Happy Inauguration Day!

Monday, January 19, 2009

What really happens before In The Flesh

In The Flesh Reading Series

I don't know who all the hands belong to, but the boobs are Mollena's. She was a surprise guest at In The Flesh, and I'm hoping to see her again and talk for more than 2 minutes when I'm in San Francisco, which is coming up soon - readings in the Bay Area 1/29, 1/30, and 2/2, details TK (or on my site) but all are awesome events. Photo by Stacie Joy

Check out my new In The Flesh Flickr account. All I want is to make sure Flickr leaves it as is. A mighty thing to ask, yes, but I think I'm up for the task. I still don't know how to set privacy/safety settings on individual photos, but I'll deal with that later.

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Cupcake magazine happiness

Rachel and Living magazine

Stacie Joy took this of me the other night; my friend Spencer gave it to me the other night at In The Flesh, right before it hit newsstands. You can hear more about it on Wednesday on The Martha Stewart Show (we were lucky enough to be in the audience, but they didn't give us the magazine!).

Speaking of Stacie, she never ever lets me or pretty much anyone take her photo, so I was thrilled when she sent me this shot by Andrew Foster and said I could share it. She's one of my closest friends and one of the kindest, smartest, and funnest people I know!

Stacie Joy by Andrew Foster

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Friday, January 16, 2009

Dear Sundance powers that be: I want to see Humpday

Humpday poster

So I'm working on various incarnations of the same article about male bisexuality and sexual orientation and fluidity, as part of a larger nonfiction book I want to write about "bisexuality" and a much broader notion of attraction, and seemingly everywhere I turn, there is yet another example of what I want to write about. Last night I read a story that I'm hoping gets published (fingers crossed), addressing this too - about women who get off on men having sex with men, especially straight men having sex with men, or flirting with men. I think part of the appeal is that it's such a taboo, still, even with its rising prominence. The increase in talk about it, in one way or another, whether it's high fashion crossdressing on the runway or public dabbling in same-sex flirtation, is why my great big article never gets done, cause there's always more to add to it.

And now, straight to the top of the list is Lynn Shelton's new film Humpday, which just debuted at Sundance. I'll let her tell you what it's about:

And to whoever in the film world makes those decisions, I'd really love to see Humpday. In New York. Just because it's uses The Stranger's HUMP amateur porn festival as a plot device doesn't mean Seattle should get all the action.

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Fun with Etsy

I got these super cute do not disturb signs from Etsy (via Mom Logic) to give away to promote my book
Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories, which is out March 1st (the book trailer shoots next weekend and will debut around Valentine's Day!). Plus I'll be reading from it as will Tess Danesi on March 19th at In The Flesh.

Etsy Do Not Disturb signs

And then I found these cards by searching "mile high club" - the first is a set of 12 that I bought, cause one says "Let's join the mile high club." Not sure who I'll send that one to...but since I also have The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories coming out April 1st, I wanted to plug that too!

Awesomely dirty Etsy cards

I didn't buy these, mainly cause who would I sent them to, but I heart them:

Hate notes

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Thursday, January 15, 2009

$4.35 is way too much for this slice

But I was hungry and in a hurry!

Survivor: Lost iPhone

I feel like I’ve been on a reality show called Survivor: Lost iPhone. Yes, I am really good at losing things, and someday maybe I’ll write about my extremely messy apartment, hoarding, shopping, throwing things out, etc. But now is not that time. But I try not to lose the most important things: keys, glasses, phone, Metrocard, and I have to say, I do pretty well with that.

Suffice it to say, I had a call from a reporter, various friends, and then 6 increasingly frantic calls from my grandmother, where she seemed to have imagined I’d died. And yes, in a way, being iPhoneless, a part of me had died. I’ve becoming so attached to that phone, and its many uses. It’s my first smartphone and even though there’s tons of things I haven’t yet explored on it, having my 4 main email accounts handy at the touch of a finger is extremely helpful.

I admit I didn’t look too hard for it because it was kindof a nice break. I love being connected, I love the Facebook app and Twitterfon and all of that, but sometimes unplugging is necessary, even if it’s not deliberate.

That being said, I have it now, so I can Twitter from the tonight’s In The Flesh!

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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The bane of my existence

I'm living for the next 2 weeks sans ID. I don't drive and don't have a license so I carry my passport around with my everywhere. Last week, I wasn't sure I'd even make it to St. Louis, but the TSA at both La Guardia and St. Louis were very nice. Despite tightening security rules last year, there is a grace period. And apparently, a significant number of people who relish traveling without ID. I guess I am not a "die-hard Constituionalist" like some and also, I am such a horrible traveler that for me to try to fly without ID would just be inviting trouble. I mean, I'm lucky to get to the airport on time. So, fingers crossed, my expedited passport will be worth the approximately $160 I spent on postage and fees.

I didn't really think it would be a problem since I don't drink, but already, it's causing stress. Will I get in to the Greenpoint Chess Club at Bar Matchless? Will I get in to The Martha Stewart Show cupcake show taping tomorrow? Who knows?

The good news is, my new ID should be good for 10 years, not 1, like the one I had to get at the London Embassy last January. I may even go crazy and get a NY State non-drivers ID card!

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So many reasons to heart The Rumpus

But this photo from Stephen Elliott's interview with Margaret Cho is at the top of the list, no?

Launch party February 5th at Crash Mansion, 199 Bowery:

Please join us for the launch party for featuring:

Comedy by: Kristen Shaal of Flight of the Conchords, and
Michael Showalter from MTV's The State

Readings from authors: James Frey, Andrew Sean Greer,
and Jonathan Ames
With This American Life's Starlee Kine

Hosted by Stephen Elliott, editor

NOTE: No one under 21 years old will be admitted

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Monday, January 12, 2009

To Movie Date or Not to Movie Date?

My latest column is called To Movie Date or Not to Movie Date? I'm pro movie date (you can read about my Slumdog Millionaire date), my interviewees (including the totally awesome Mary Pols) are anti.

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In The Flesh is this Thursday, 1/15!

So soon, I know...We're not taping this one, so be there to catch it live.

We're ushering in the new year with a fabulous lineup! I'm gonna do my best to get cupcakes from Sugar Sweet Sunshine but either way there will be great snacks and we have some porn DVDs and other goodies to give away!

And February 19th we're starting at 7:30 to accommodate the mega-lineup and Susie Bright's visit!

JANUARY 15th at 8 PM
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey or F/V to 2nd Avenue,
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676

Usher in the new year with an eclectic mix of readers, including comedian Jeff Mac (author of Manslations), Cristy C. Road (author/illustrator of Bad Habits), novelist Diana Spechler (Who by Fire), J.L. Scott (contributor to Nerve: The First Ten Years), and podcaster Mia ("I Want Your Sex").. Hosted and curated by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Best Sex Writing 2009, Spanked). Free candy and cupcakes will be served.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the city's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Lily Burana, Jessica Cutler, Stephen Elliott, Valerie Frankel, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, Andy Horwitz, Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, Edith Layton, Logan Levkoff, Suzanne Portnoy, Sofia Quintero, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Dana Vachon, Veronica Vera, Susan Wright, Zane and many others. The series has gotten press attention from the New York Times’s UrbanEye, New York Observer, Escape (Hong Kong), Gawker, Flavorpill, The L Magazine, New York Magazine, Philadelphia City Paper, Time Out New York, Gothamist, and Wonkette, and has been praised by Dr. Ruth.

Hear Jeff Mac read from Manslations 1/15

Cover of the amazing Bad Habits by Cristy C. Road

Hear Diana Spechler read from Who By Fire 1/15

Hear J.L. Scott read from Nerve: The First Ten Years 1/15

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