Email: rachelkramerbussel at


Lusty Lady

Watch my first and favorite book trailer for Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Get Spanked in print and ebook

Friday, February 29, 2008

Interview on teen homelessness with Almost Home author Jessica Blank

This is the kind of work I want to be doing, though also the source of much soul-searching. Lots of people in my life say I shouldn't take small assignments like this and should focus on the bigger things, and I am for the most part, but I'm torn, and really at a crossroads trying to figure out "what to do with my life." I need to turn in my very overdue novel and then assess. I have a big meeting soon that could get me going in the right direction. It's a challenging time but exciting too, and I've finally emerged from the two-month mental fog I was in for pretty much all of December and January. It got pretty rock bottom there but I'm going back to CrossFit and am probably going to start therapy (I know, long overdue!) and just do my best to be a little less me, meaning a little less overcommited, a little less trying to be there for everyone else and a little more focused on trying to get out of my ruts and lifelong bad habits. I think for me it's so easy to see the flaws but the solutions, or possible ones, not so much. At the same time, I know I can handle a crisis, and not freak out like I saw so many people doing at the Atlanta airport on Monday night (I was there overnight due to my own stupidity).

I also realize this blog has largely outlived its usefulness to me. Not entirely, of course, but to a large extent. The irony of too many people reading, too many voices and faces I see instead of a blank screen. I journal now and am trying to cultivate closer friendships, ones where I can truly say anything and not worry about being judged, even though I can be a very dedicated loner. Anyway, I do appreciate everyone who reads these blatherings, I just am kindof lost of late and am trying to figure out the right path. And as much as I should be trying to be more "professional" and say no and all that (cause the people who tell me that are right, in their way), I'm still happy to be doing pieces like this and probably won't ever stop. I do, though, have to sometimes remember writing is a business, not a hobby. I forget that quite often and I think my bank account reflects that. But one thing at a time or else I'm likely to give up entirely, and I don't want that to happen, not to mention I have no other skills or education. So writing it is, and the truth is, there's nothing else I'd rather do, but that doesn't make it easy. At all.

I interviewed Jessica Blank, author of Almost Home, about teen homelessness for WireTap (I had interviewed her and her husband Erik Jensen for Gothamist about their play The Exonerated and their book Living Justice, both about wrongly convicted death row inmates).

Here's the intro to the interview and book cover - this is one of the best books I've ever read (my official review is on Amazon) and I really hope you read this and pass it on. She's truly inspiring and there's some interesting links in the interview:

Author Jessica Blank's debut young adult novel "Almost Home" brings the topic of teen homelessness to life in vivid, heartbreaking detail. Her tale of seven teens starts with 12-year-old Elly, who runs away from home after being bullied at school, not to mention getting raped by her stepbrother. She's soon befriended by tough girl Tracy, who christens her Eeyore and teaches her to dumpster dive. Touching on sexual abuse, homosexuality, and the violence, hunger, and danger these teens face, Blank movingly presents these characters in all their vulnerability.

"Almost Home" has been optioned by Jon Bon Jovi's film production company, with Blank and her husband Erik Jensen writing the screenplay. This spring, Blank will do several readings, peer outreach and book giveaways with shelters in Southern California. Her publisher, Hyperion Books has donated several hundred books to National Safe Place to distribute to teens through their shelters. Blank also offers a resource guide at the end of the book, including Roaddawgz, an online community by and for homeless youth, and Covenant House, which provides youth shelter and services. Wiretap spoke with Jessica Blank about her new novel and her thoughts on teen homelessness.

She's also on MySpace and has a new play running now at New York Theatre Workshop, starring April Yvette Thompson:

Liberty City: a place where people of the African Diaspora have settled; where urban and island cultures rub up against each other, and the site of Miami's infamous 1980 riots. Enter April Yvette Thompson--a child of children of the 60's, the daughter of a Bahamian and Cuban father and an African American mother: free thinkers, young radicals and movement people. As the hope of the 60's and 70's gave way to the disillusionment and disintegration of the 80's, April's family struggled to survive and stay together. Part history, part imagination, Liberty City is her personal story that illuminates the lives of one family through the context of social, cultural, and political events.

Come to the Best Erotic Comics 2008 release party on March 5th

March 5th Best Erotic Comics 2008 official release party

Fundraiser for The Comic Book Legal Defense Fund



March 5, 7:30 pm
Parkside Lounge, 317 E. Houston Street, NYC

21+ please, 2 drink minimum
$10 suggested donation to CBLDF

Best Erotic Comics 2008 (Last Gasp), edited by Greta Christina, is a groundbreaking collection featuring today's top names in the world of comics. At this event, a fundraiser for the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund, New York's funniest comedians will "act out" work by Colleen Coover, Jessica Fink, Ellen Forney, Justin Hall, Rolf Konig, Erica Moen, and Dori Seda. Listen, laugh, squirm, and get turned on as they treat you to a night of sex and comedy you won't soon forget. Hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel of In The Flesh Reading Series and featuring comedians Dan Allen, Sara Benincasa, Jon Friedman, Margot Leitman, Matt McCarthy, Giulia Rozzi and Bex Schwartz.

Quoted on MSN about (what else?) cupcakes has highlighted the 11 best places to buy cupcakes in the U.S., and quoted and consulted me (they including my favorite bakery sugar Sweet sunshine and highlight a special cupcake from each bakery they pick):

Ever since 2000, when Magnolia Bakery’s pastel cupcakes upstaged Sarah Jessica Parker’s knee-socks on an episode of ‘Sex and the City’, cupcakes have undergone an unexpected (and well-chronicled) renaissance. Over the last eight years, cupcakes have been celebrated and re-imagined in countless ways, with new, cupcake-only bakeshops – inspired by Magnolia and Los Angeles’ Sprinkles Bakery – popping up all across the country.

Rachel Kramer Bussel, co-author of cupcake blog Cupcake Takes the Cake, admits that the glut of new cupcake boutiques means bakers have to work harder to stand out. “I think personalizing the cupcake with a unique flavor or flavors in addition to the usual ones is always nice,” Bussel says. “Increasingly, cities are seeing more than one bakery open so they have to do something to differentiate.” So, here are 11 of the most original (and delicious!) new cupcakes in America.

Read on to find out their favorites

Labels: ,

With Molly Crabapple at the CineKink party

If you haven't checked out CineKink yet, you totally should. It's a very sexy film festival where you'll see things you'd most likely never get a chance to otherwise. And they do travel around with their films throughout the year for those not in NYC.

Here's me with the very photogenic and prolific artist Stacie Joy

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Adventures in book covers: Bad Girls: 26 Writers Misbehave - hardcover vs. paperback

Ellen Sussman's anthology Bad Girls: 26 Writers Misbehave has a new cover for the paperback edition. I like the hardcover much better. And it's not on Amazon yet but the cover for her Dirty Words: An Encyclopedia of Sex, which is going to be an amazing book (and will be making an appearance at In The Flesh) is also brilliant. Will post when it's here (I have a galley).



Labels: , , ,

Double Adventures in book covers: Thin is the New Happy and If Andy Warhol Had a Girlfriend

More substantive posts coming soon, promise, just busy writing/editing/trying to stay warm. I definitely want to read Valerie Frankel's weight loss memoir Thin is the New Happy. And I already read and loved Alison Pace's If Andy Warhol Had a Girlfriend (she writes very smart chick lit - see my interview with her), and it's coming out with a fabulous new cover, as seen below. Images via their respective blogs.


Tuesday, February 26, 2008


The first is me outside Buttercream Coffee & Cupcakes in Coral Gables (it's only been open 2 weeks) with the super adorable Tashi, whose dress I coveted and who knows way more Spanish than I do and was just beyond adorable.

With Tashi outside Buttercream

These others were taken by my photographer friend Stacie Joy, a few weekends ago when it snowed. We tried to shoot outdoors but it didn't work. I've since lost the hat (but I do have another one!) and plan to replace it, but I'm glad we captured it on film cause I have never gotten so many compliments on any piece of clothing before, and it was super warm. I got it on the SE corner of Prince and Mercer, I believe, if anyone wants one.

Headshot by Stacie Joy

RKB by Stacie Joy

Headshot with purple fuzzy hat

"My Accidental Brazilian" by Andrea Askowitz (plus awesome blurbs)

The totally hilarious Andrea Askowitz, who runs Lip Service, has written the upcoming memoir My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy, and will soon be hitting the road for the Misery Loves Company tour (stopping May 15th at True Sex Cnfessions at In The Flesh!). Do you check her out. She's insanely funny and also incredibly nice. More on her soon.

Also, because I'm blurb-obsessed, check out the awesome blurbs she got from the likes of Jill Soloway, Louise Sloan and Ariel Gore. Someday I want to write a book that's Jill Soloway-blurb worthy. These are just a few of her blurbs; read the rest here and check out her blog too.

Andrea Askowitz's brilliant debut memoir is the exact kind of thing I’m always looking for at the bookstore—something that reads like an intimate yet super funny, painfully true letter from my very best friend. Andrea is like a girl version of David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs, mining perfect comedic moments from the very worst of life’s offerings. You don’t have to be miserable, lonely or a lesbian to completely relate to the hilarious journey that is Andrea’s life.” —Jill Soloway, writer on Six Feet Under

"This is one whiny, bitchy pregnant lady—and you can't help but love her. Askowitz is funny and fearless." —Louise Sloan, author of Knock Yourself Up: A Tell-All Guide to Becoming a Single Mom

“You don’t have to be a miserable, lonely, pregnant lesbian to adore Andrea Askowitz’s awfully funny story. Anyone who enjoys schadenfreude, laugh-out-loud asides, and frank depictions of biological horrors will love this wonderful book. You will read it dog-eared and quote the most outrageous parts at length to all your friends.” —Jennifer Traig, author of Devil in the Details: Scenes from an Obsessive Girlhood

“Hilarious and all too true. After my own miserable lesbian pregnancy, Andrea Askowitz’s confessions cheered me up immeasurably.” —Ariel Gore, author of The Hip Mama Survival Guide

Labels: , , , , ,

Monday, February 25, 2008

Sunshine, SAD, Miami photos, and a cupcake skirt

A giraffe display at Miami International AirportYes, it's a random giant giraffe at Miami International Airport - I have no idea why it's there.

Cartoon humidifiers
Did you know they made Hello Kitty humidifiers? Neither did I. Taken at Target.

I know that I have a whole blog dedicated to cupcakes and that many of you read it, but I couldn't resist sharing this amazing photo, especially after reading about a man choking to death on cupcakes. Also, Miami continues to be sunny and gorgeous and has helped me forget a bit of the stress and guilt I carry around all the time, though as amazing as the sun feels, I am ready to get home and get back to my responsibilities but am really glad I came. I've been hanging out with a super-fun 4-year-old who is totally sweet and has also helped remind me that I need to chill.

Last week was a rough week. Last Sunday I went to see a relative who's dying, and while I thought I'd been prepared, I really wasn't. I've seen sick people before, but never like that, and it threw me. She didn't recognize us and I didn't know what to say or do. Then there was uncertainty about whether all my readers could make it and much back and forth about who might be a good replacement, and that was really draining, on top of all the other stuff I'm working on and some other drama that happened on Thursday that I just wasn't expecting. Thursday night I got home from In The Flesh and just saw on my couch and bawled. It felt cathartic in its way, but I also felt really hopeless and was ready to quit running the reading series, which I still very well may do after this year. I'm not sure I'm very good at it, or if I am, whether the stress is worth it.

It's funny cause I actually haven't minded the winter; I was thrilled to wear my little purple bear hat, and plan to replace it soon, but I guess maybe SAD does affect me because just being somewhere where you don't have to bundle up and people are way more chill has made me calmer. I think last week it was just a combination of carrying around a lot of uncertainty about who was reading and just the general buildup of deadlines and never feeling like I'm doing enough. I'm still not, in the sense that I have several things that are overdue, but I'm making some headway and the next week or two should help get me back on track. I'm actually kindof glad that happened because it showed me how bad it's gotten, something I often fail to realize trudging through the day to day, and it helps me realize where I don't want to go again and if that means dropping the reading series, so be it. At the same time, I really enjoy the networking aspect of running it, of meeting new authors all the time, getting to share their work and the camaraderie, I just have to realize that I don't have to feed every person umpteen snacks and be so stressed about every little aspect of it, especially the parts I can't control.

View from the deck
View from where I stayed in downtown Miami, taken Sunday morning

Me at Books & Books with my new bag - duffel bag or purse? To be determined. I will say it's perfect for carry-on.

The reading at Books & Books was incredible; not only did 150 people show up, but the caliber of readers was incredible high and it was really varied and just incredible. Any pangs I had about not getting to be taped for Cinemax were forgotten. Yesterday I got the grand tour of South Beach and surroundings and we strolled along Lincoln Road and I heard about Herald Hunt, which I totally want to return for.

For those in New York, do check out another reading from Sex for America: Politically Inspired Erotica with editor Stephen Elliott and contributors Nick Flynn and Jonathan Ames tonight at The Museum of Sex. Even if you were there on Thursday for In The Flesh, they were so incredible that I'd go see them all again. Also, I'm editing Best Sex Writing 2009 which I am so thrilled about (click through for the call for submissions). I'm trying to get myself more on the non-fiction track and this vote of confidence from Cleis Press means a lot to me. I'd also love any recommendations for anything you read that might work for the book - send them to bestsexwriting2009 at I haven't made any official decisions, but I already have a few pieces on my wishlist. I think the biggest challenge last year was securing permissions, but now that I know the ropes, I have a better handle on that.

So back to cupcake craziness. This was made by Seattle's Trophy Cupcakes for Urban Unveiled. Trophy is also on Flickr with lots more fabulous cupcake photos (though, to be honest, none as fabulous as this one!).

Labels: , , , ,

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Read this: Schuyler's Monster

Cupcakes by Edith Meyer for a Schuyler's Monster reading

Some of you have read Robert Rummel-Hudson's excellent blog and writing. Now you can read his memoir, Schuyler's Monster: A Father's Journey With His Wordless Daughter. There's also lots more of him on YouTube, which actually does a fabulous job of introduction Schuyler, Robert, and their family, including the book trailer:

Here's the official St. Martin's blurb:

When his daughter Schuyler was eighteen months old, a simple question by her pediatrician set in motion a slow transformation for Robert Rummel-Hudson, from a sarcastic, befuddled dad to the very last thing any new father or mother ever expects or desires to become: a special needs parent. Armed with nothing more than his love for his tenacious little girl and his determination to defeat her rare and invisible disorder, he fought his own depression, his past family dysfunction and the nagging suspicion that he was not the right person for the job. In doing so, he discovered a sense of purpose and responsibility, and became the father and advocate that Schuyler needed to help fight her monster.

SCHUYLER’S MONSTER is more than the memoir of a parent dealing with a child’s disability. It is the story of the relationship between a unique and ethereal little girl floating through the world without words, and her earthbound father. It is the story of a family struggling to find the answers to a child’s dilemma, but it is also a chronicle of their unique relationships, formed without traditional language against the expectations of a doubting world.

Ultimately, it is the tale of a little girl who silently teaches a man filled with self-doubt how to be the father she needs.

And here's my review:

In Schuyler's Monster, Robert Rummel-Hudson tells a story of coming to terms with, while constantly battling, what he calls his daughter's "monster," a disease called polymicrogyria which leaves her unable to talk. She can make some sounds, using mostly vowels, and it's not until age 4 that the author and his wife even find out precisely what is wrong with her. In this incredibly heartfelt memoir, Rummel-Hudson recounts their journey from parents to "special needs" parents, navigating school systems in Connecticut and Texas in their quest to get Schuyler the best care and help she can provide.

At times, their story is bleak, but throughout it, Rummel-Hudson's overwhelming love for his daughter, as well as his belief in her, is clear. Even when things seem at their worst, the couple never let their daughter sense their doubts about her being "broken," as Rummel-Hudson writes. Even though he uses this terminology for her and her brain, on a certain level, he seems to know that for whatever mysterious reasons (his battles with faith and a god he doesn't quite believe in are covered in the book), Schuyler has turned out the way she has.

Some of the best moments are focused solely on Schuyler. She is a "rock star" amongst her young classmates, in various schools, looking the part with purple or red hair and pink leopard print, and drawing her peers around her. When she stands up to (and punches) a bully at a mall playground who's just shoved her and teased her for being a "retard," it's hard for even those of us who are as nonviolent as they come to cheer.

Rummel-Hudson, who has been documenting his life, and his daughter's, on his blog for many years, thankfully doesn't bring the blog into play too much in the book, save to show how wide of a support network he's garnered. When Schuyler's school refuses to purchases the $10,000 "Big Box of Words," a communications device that enables her to type on its screen and have her words voiced by the box, his readers pull together with donations to make the purchase. By the end of the book, when Schuyler and family are ensconced in Plano, Texas, land of megachurches and wealth (and decidedly not a typical home for the Rummel-Hudsons), I felt like I knew this little girl who I've never met. Her spirit permeates each page, though Rummel-Hudson is clear that he is telling his story of being a father unable to permanently fix everything that is "wrong" with his daughter. His guilt, anger, and grief are plain, but it's also his and his wife's perseverance, in not accepting the status quo, that have helped Schuyler get to the place she has, using her words in all kinds of fascinating ways.

In some ways, even though Schuyler's Monster is about a very specific, rare disorder, it's also about being a parent. Rummel-Hudson and his wife learn early on that they cannot protect Schuyler from all the negatives of the world, but they also learn that for her, things aren't as bad as they may seem. She has found her own language and way of relating to people, both before and after acquiring her Big Box of Words, that works for her, and watching her develop, in the words of her father, is the real delight of this book. With sly sarcasm and a healthy dose of self-deprecation, but most of all, love, Rummel-Hudson has written a memoir I wouldn't say is sappy at all, but did make me cry, though not until the very end, and those were tears of happiness.


Saturday, February 23, 2008

In Miami

It is very sunny and beautiful in Miami. I even got to the airport on time! Have been hanging at Kiki's awesome apartment, which has a gym on the roof, and a porch. I got filled cupcakes delivered to me from Cupcakes Nouveau that we're gonna try later. Off to Coral Gables for exploration and my reading at Books & Books! If you're in Miami, join us!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Cinekink starts next week

CineKink, the "really alternative film festival," starts next week. (Some of you, or maybe just me, may recall my 2005 Gothamist interview with CineKink organizer Lisa Vandever.) Tuesday, to be precise. Visit their site for the full, sexy schedule. I'm moderating a panel on Saturday, March 1st, called Women Behind the Lens, and will also be there on Tuesday and on Saturday and Sunday March 1st and 2nd covering it for Penthouse Variations and Adult Friend Finder. Also, a lucky 40 of you at the opening night party will get copies of my books He's on Top and She's on Top in the gift bags! That sounds so fancy to me, and was a little pricey, but I couldn't resist. And there's a hot ad, very kindly designed for me by Mr. Brett Jackson, in the program for my new books.

Speaking of which, Yes, Sir and Yes, Ma'am are on their way to me. I should get them in next week. The feeling of opening up a box of books, ones that were once just endless words on a screen, then galley pages, and seeing something real that will be on actual bookstore shelves, never fails to put a big smile on my face. I need things like that to look forward to.

Labels: ,

My Christa Faust Money Shot interview

In the new (March) issue of Penthouse (print only), I interviewed Christa Faust, author of Money Shot, a great, fast-paced mystery set in the world of porn, starring an ex-porn star who winds up on the run. I highly recommend it, and it's put out by Hard Case Crime, who are worth checking out for their beautiful pulp-inspired book covers. Two other Hard Case Crime authors, Megan Abbott and Richard Aleas, are reading at In The Flesh in March.

These photos were taken by me at her book party, where the talk turned so raunchy even I blushed. Really. And yes, the food was so good I had to photograph it, but don't worry, I am not one of those "must take photos of everything I eat" people. I whipped out my camera and took a picture of my plate recently - I think it was cupcake-related but can't remember - and someone asked if I do that all the time. Heavens no. But I am sortof in lust with my new shiny green digital camera.

Christa Faust celebrates her book Money Shot

Money shot of the novel Money Shot

Money Shot book release party eatsd C

Labels: , , , ,

A singles event practically tailor made for me

I just found out about an awesome sounding event, and this is from someone who lasted less than two minutes at Time Out New York's speed dating event (the speed dating portion was full, and not being all that great at chatting up strangers and being a teetotaller, I just felt increasingly claustrophobic in the bar). So even though I'm not the most knowledgeable trivia player, I love it and will so be there (even though I have venues I infinitely prefer to Village Pourhouse; why others love it so, I'll never know).

Are you suffused with trivia goodness
and looking for someone to share it with?
Don't miss a special
Sunday, March 9, 1pm at the Village Pourhouse
Third Avenue @ 11th Street
Details to come at

In The Flesh thanks and read me on the NYT bestseller list!

In The Flesh Erotic Reading Series

L to R: Me, Michelle J. Robinson, Jonathan Ames, Zane
Photo by Stacie Joy

THANK YOU so much to everyone who packed Happy Ending last night to hear Nick Flynn, Jonathan Ames, Stephen Elliott, Michelle Robinson, and Zane! The reading was wonderful (and those who couldn’t make it, we’ll have YouTube videos for you soon. Extra special thanks to Nichelle, Steven, Stacie Joy and Gloria, who helped me pass out the umpteen bags of candy, chips and porn I had to give out, and Stacie Joy and Brian Van for taking photos. I heard that someone came from Buffalo to go to the reading!

The best news of the night, I think, is that Zane’s anthology Succulent: Chocolate Flava II is debuting on the New York Times bestseller list this Sunday! So you can check out my story “Devil’s Worship” in this gorgeous hardcover book. You can also catch Zane and other contributors tomorrow night at Hue-Man bookstore from 6 pm – 8 pm, which will be taped for (I think) Cinemax. I would so be there, but I’ll be in Miami doing the reading Lip Service.

I’ve had a very stressful and draining week, so wish me luck in getting out of the snow and into Miami okay. Lots of good news too, but I need to regroup a little bit this weekend so I don’t have another freakout like I did when I got home last night. Stay warm!


Thursday, February 21, 2008

Tonight! Hear Zane and Stephen Elliott, get free porn, books and food!

Hope you can join us tonight and/or at one of the upcoming dates - I've got some more fabulous lineups in the works as you can see below.

See below for our spectacular all-star lineup and readings from Zane's Succulent: Chocolate Flava II and Stephen Elliott's Sex for America: Politically Inspired Erotica. I'll be giving away ONE copy of each of these books as well as lots of porn DVDs, magazines, and cupcakes, candy, cookies and snacks. One thing I'll say about my reading series is that it's hard to walk away empty-handed!

Succulent: Chocolate Flava II cover edited by Zane

Stephen Elliott's Sex for America: Politically Inspired Erotica

Check out some recent interviews Stephen's done about Sex for America:

Interview with Metromix LA

Interview with Violet Blue, San Francisco Chronicle

Interview with

And full bios/details soon, but also stay tuned for:

March 20 - Megan Abbott (Queenpin), Richard Aleas (Songs of Innocence), Kevin Keck (Oedipus Wrecked), Sebastian Horsely (Dandy in the Underworld), and Cheri Magid (Hide and Seek contributor)

April 17 - Suzanne Portnoy (The Not So Invisible Woman), HoneyB (Sexcapades), Sarah Thyre (Dark at the Roots), contributors to Dirty Girls: Erotica for Women

May 15 - True Sex Confessions Night is back with Tracie Egan (, One D at a Time), Andrea Askowitz (My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy), Ilona Paris (You Know You Love It: Adventures in Sexual Mischief) and comedian Giulia Rozzi.

June 19 - GLBT Night - With Cris Beam (Transparent, contributor to Dirty Words), Charlie Vazquez (contributor to Best Gay Erotica 2008), Amie Evans, and Aimee Herman.

Bowery, F to Delancey,
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676

A superstar erotica evening celebrating the release of two hot new anthologies. Featuring Stephen Elliott, editor of Sex for America: Politically Inspired Erotica, along with contributors Nick Flynn (Another Bullshit Night in Suck City) and Jonathan Ames (Wake Up, Sir!) and New York Times bestselling author Zane (Addicted, The Heat Seekers) celebrating the release of Succulent: Chocolate Flava II, along with Succulent contributors Michelle Robinson and In The Flesh host/curator Rachel Kramer Bussel (Best Sex Writing 2008, He's on Top, She's on Top). Books will be available for sale from Mobile Libris. Free candy and cupcakes will be served.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the city's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Lily Burana, Jessica Cutler, Stephen Elliott, Valerie Frankel, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, Andy Horwitz, Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, Edith Layton, Logan Levkoff, Suzanne PortnoySofia Quintero, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Dana Vachon, Veronica Vera, Susan Wright, and many others. The series has gotten press attention from the New York Times’s UrbanEye, Escape (Hong Kong), Flavorpill, The L Magazine, New York Magazine, Philadelphia City Paper, Time Out New York, Gothamist, and Wonkette, and has been praised by Dr. Ruth. This is not Amanda Stern’s Happy Ending Reading Series.

Rachel Kramer Bussel is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations, conducts interviews for and, and wrote the popular Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice. Her erotic stories have been published in over 100 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006, and she’s edited numerous anthologies, most recently Best Sex Writing 2008, Hide and Seek, Crossdressing, He’s on Top and She’s on Top. Rachel has also written for AVN, Bust, Cosmo UK, Gothamist, Mediabistro, Metro, New York Post, Punk Planet, San Francisco Chronicle, Time Out New York and Velvetpark.

Jonathan Ames is the author of I Pass Like Night, The Extra Man, What’s Not to Love? My Less Than Secret Life, Wake Up, Sir!, and I Love You More Than You Know. His graphic novel, The Alcoholic, will be published in 2008 by DC Comics/Vertigo. He is the editor of the anthology Sexual Metamorphosis and the winner of a Guggenheim Fellowship.

Rachel Kramer Bussel is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations, conducts interviews for, and wrote the popular Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice. Her erotic stories have been published in over 100 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006, and she’s edited numerous erotica anthologies, most recently Best Sex Writing 2008, Yes, Sir and Yes, Ma’am. Rachel has also written for AVN, Bust, Cosmo UK, Gothamist, Mediabistro, Metro, New York Post, Punk Planet, San Francisco Chronicle, Time Out New York and Velvetpark.

Stephen Elliott is the author of the political memoir Looking Forward To It, the novel Happy Baby, and the story collection My Girlfriend Comes to the City and Beats Me Up. He lives in San Francisco.

Nick Flynn's book Another Bullshit Night in Suck City (Norton, 2004) won the PEN/Martha Albrand Award for First Nonfiction, was shortlisted for France's Prix Femina, and has been translated into thirteen languages. He is also the author of two books of poetry, Some Ether (Graywolf, 2000) and Blind Huber (Graywolf, 2002), for which he received fellowships from, among other organizations, the Guggenheim Foundation and the Library of Congress. Some of the venues his poems, essays, and nonfiction have appeared in include The New Yorker, The Paris Review, National Public Radio's This American Life, and the New York Times Book Review. His film credits include "field poet" and artistic collaborator on the film Darwin's Nightmare, which was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Feature Documentary in 2006. One semester a year he teaches at the University of Houston, and he then spends the rest of the year elsewhere.

Michelle Robinson is the mother of 12-year old identical twin boys and resides in New York City. She studied Journalism at New York University and is planning to attend film school in 2008. Her erotic short story "Mi Destino" is included in the New York Times bestseller Caramel Flava. In addition to Caramel Flava, Michelle is also a contributing author to the anthology collections Chocolate Flava II with the story "The Quiet Room, Asian Spice with the story "The Flow of Qi" and Missionary No More: Purple Panties 2 with the story "Hailey's Orgasmic Splendor." She has recently completed work on four novels, Color Me Grey, Pleasure Principle, Serial Typical and You Created a Monster, and is currently working on the screenplay adaptation of "Mi Destino." Michelle can be reached at robinson_201 at

New York Times bestseller Zane is the author of Addicted, The Sex Chronicles, Getting' Buck Wild, The Heat Seekers, The Sisters of APF, Shame on It All, Nervous, Skyscraper, Afterburn, Love is Never Painless and Dear G-Spot. She is the editor of Chocolate Flava and Caramel Flava. She is the publisher of Strebor Books, an imprint of Atria Books/Simon & Schuster, and lives in the Washington, D.C., area with her family.


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Blogging your way to a book deal

Actually, I have no advice for you on how to do that* but my friend Michelle Goodman, author of The Anti 9-to-5 Guide: Practical Career Advice for Women Who Think Outside the Cube and the forthcoming My So-Called Freelance Life:
How to Survive and Thrive as a Creative Girl for Hire
(both from Seal Press) has a great post up about using blogging to build a platform for your book idea with 23 suggestions about how to go about it.

This isn't strictly about blogging but a little hint: Google news alerts are your friend! Not only that, I think they are necessity at the very least for your name and your book's name. Choose comprehensive. I have, uh, hundreds of these and they are a major source of my information about some of the topics that matter to me most. They can also fuel your blogging if you have "nothing to say." You also learn really fast what Google tracks, and what it doesn't. Comprehensive covers blogs but it's not an exact science. For example, for my name alone, I have "Bussel," "Rachel Kramer Bussel," "Rachel Kramer Bussell" and "Rachel Kramer" and...all yield different results! Just something to think about.

And speaking of Seal, check out some of the other books superstar editor Brooke Warner (and yes, she's my editor on Dirty Girls: Erotica for Women, a book Seal inherited when Avalon Publishing closed down Carroll & Graf):

BACHELORETTES, BRIDEZILLAS AND BEAUTIFUL CORPSES: Unraveling Reality TV's Twisted Fairy Tales, by Jennifer Pozner

•An expose of the ways that reality television denigrates women.


•A first memoir from America's favorite feminist sex expert.

THE STIRRUP QUEEN'S GUIDE TO INFERTILITY: How To Survive in the Land of IF, by Melissa Ford

•From the creator of the Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters blog, this book provides advice and emotional support to men and women struggling with infertility.

DIRT: Writers on the Gritty Truth of Keeping House, edited by Mindy Lewis

•In this anthology, writers reflect on how we make sense of our lives, sort out our messes, and restore order to our psyches through cleaning and keeping house.


•A in-depth examination, including interviews with over 100 women (and some men), about why more and more couples are opting to remain childfree.

THE LIST: 100 Ways to Shake Up Your Life, by Gail Belsky

•100 awesome suggestions for women who want to want to do something that adds a little thrill to their lives.


•An artistic and poetic account of one woman's search for her real father---with photos, newspaper clippings, and prose.

*But let me just say that in the next few months I truly, truly hope that I can tell you how I turned my cupcake blog into a book. We've had some interest from a very well-respected publisher who I would LOVE to work with, so I'm just putting it out there that I really hope that works out, because it'd be an honor to work with them and their vision is so in sync with my own for a cupcake book. Thank you, universe.

Labels: ,


I'm so busy this week I barely have time to blog (shocking, I know, and I have interviews to share with you all, but I am working away) so here are some photos.

What you DON'T want to see when you walk into your subway station. I titled this "Raise your hand if you also hate the L train"

Raise your hand if you also hate the L train

With How Not to Date author Judy McGuire (if you missed it, check out my interview with her)

With How Not to Date author Judy McGuire

Cupcakes that were sent to me in NYC on Valentine's Day from Newark, Delaware bakery Sweet-N-Sassy Cupcakes. I only ate one, but it was delicious. They have custom wrappers with their name on the side and logo on the bottom!

Sweet-N-Sassy Cupcakes Valentine's Day delivery

The face of adorableness, my cousin Adam: (and I did fix the redeye but Flickr doesn't believe me for some reason)

Absolutely adorable Adam

Check out more Adam cuteness in this YouTube video

Labels: , , , , ,

Monday, February 18, 2008

"Fat is Contagious"

If you haven't done so already, go read Kim Brittingham's excellent essay "Fat is Contageious" at one of my favorite, favorite websites, Fresh Yarn. Then watch her on The Today Show on Wednesday! And yes, if I were a literary agent, I'd snap Kim's memoir up ASAP.

You can also listen to Kim talk about the essay on NPR.

Labels: ,

The title Hooking Up needs to be retired

I think books with the title Hooking Up need to be retired, especially when two of them are about college students. Here's a few, inspired by this Newsweek article on Ivy League students and sex, "Campus Sexperts." And yes, I know titles can't be copyrighted, and I even have the classic and highly-recommended feminist pro-porn book Caught Looking: Feminism, Pornography & Censorship, but that was out of print by the time my Caught Looking came along.


NBA cupcake dunk by Gerald Green!

This is one of the few (possibly only?) sports-related posts you'll ever seen on here. I just don' really follow sports unless it intersects with one of my other interests. Like cupcakes!

Gerald Green of the Minnesota Timberwolves gets his cupcake dunk on... - even though he didn't win the NBA 2008 Slam Dunk title, for us cupcake lovers, he's the winner!

Green never lacked creativity either, especially on his second trip to the basket, he called, "The Birthday Cake."

After placing a cupcake with a single candle in it on the back of the rim, Green soared to the basket, and blew out the candle while throwing down the left-handed dunk.


Sunday, February 17, 2008

Get on my snail mail list!

I love sending things in the mail, and now have pretty new Yes, Sir and Yes, Ma'am postcards (both books will be in stores by the end of this month!). If you'd like one and you're in the U.S., send your name/address and which postcard you'd like to yesantho at - I will be sending some Dirty Girls postcards down the road too. And don't forget - In The Flesh is this Thursday at Happy Ending Lounge, 302 Broome Street, 8 pm, with Zane, Stephen Elliott (most likely) and Nick Flynn and Michelle Robinson! And...giveaways! Free food and books.

True Hookup Confessions and Worst Email Ever

Two great sites to check out - True Hookup Confessions lets you anonymously share info about your hookups and check out other people's naughty secrets, and Worst Email Ever is totally awesome and hilarious - both want your contributions and you can be anonymous. So send Romi your True Hookup Confessions and Michael Malice your worst emails ever. You know you want to. I have one on Worst Email Ever that is funny and pathetic all in one.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

all praises due to love...

A very quick Valentine's Day note to say, well, Happy Valentine's Day to you all. I'll have more to say about love, but for now, I'm feeling very lucky. So many people and things are filling me with love, and things seem to be working out in ways they didn't seem to be earlier in the week. I'm calmer and less anxious, the people I care about are happy and healthy, and have reached out to me in truly extroardinary ways. I have such beautiful friends and family, who I truly love with all my heart. I have so much to be grateful for, and I am, truly. I forget sometimes, but it's true. So to everyone who helps keep my heart open, sometimes despite myself, thank you. And to my friend Jon who helped me fall in love with comedy again tonight, and everyone who provided some much-needed laughs (see The Rejection Show). Today involved hijiki, cupcake delivery (thank you Sweet-N-Sassy Cupcakes, good friends, and funniness. And for now, that is all I have to say on the subject.

If you want a soundtrack to love, please give Ida's Lovers Prayers a listen. I want to do it justice, because it's taught me a lot in the past few weeks I've been listening to it. About love, loss, and beauty. Liz and Dan and co. are truly inspiration. The whole album is simply gorgeous. The more you listen, the more you get out of it, the more layers of voices and lyrics. They manage to sing “You punched Ronald Reagan right in the face…” and make it sound like a lullaby (in a song called The Killers, 1964, about the movie by the same name). But my absolute favorite, though I have many, but if I had to pick, it’s their cover of Richard Thompson’s “Shame of Doing Wrong.” There’s this line that goes “I wish I was a fool for you again…” and that line, more than any of the other beauties here, speaks to me, so much. Anyway, this is the album I want to give to the next person I fall in love with. And where the subject line come from, from "The Love Below."


Lip Service 5, Miami, February 23rd

I have much more to say, but oh so little time, so some quickies - if you know anyone in Miami, tell them to come to this reading! I will be bringing cupcakes! I've never been to Miami and can't wait, gonna hang with K., soak up the sun, explore the city's many cupcake bakeries, and read Pinkalicious to a 4-year-old. What could be bad?

Lip Service 5, Miami, February 23rd

Lip Service 5!
True stories out loud.

The hottest, funniest, saddest, most real show in South Florida.

Rachel Aranoff, Andrea Askowitz, Jennifer Bartman, Joe Clifford,
Jaquira Diaz, Malvina Feinswog, Lori LaMedica, Steve Moss, and
special guest: New York sex writer Rachel Kramer Bussel

Saturday, Feb. 23rd, 7 p.m.
@ Books & Books, 265 Aragon Avenue, Coral Gables, 33134.

Show is free. Wine bar and music in the courtyard after the show.
Don’t miss it.

Check out for submission deadlines
and to hear stories from Lip Services past.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Meet Justine Joli tonight at Cat O' Nine!

You know you want to - yes, even in the rain...if you can't read it, click here for a bigger version. Justine Joli people! Need I say more. You can hit up Judy McGuire's party at The Knitting Factory Tap Room (see below) first for bad date stories and cupcakes, then get your fetish on at Lit.

Meet Justine Joli at Cat O' Nine


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

An interview with my dating guru, Judy McGuire, author of How Not to Date

Judy McGuire, author of How Not to Date

Judy McGuire is who I turn to when I am having relationship problems, and believe me, I have a lot of them. She has a way of giving advice that is never condescending, comes from the heart, and experience, and is actually helpful, which isn’t anywhere as easy as it looks. So I was thrilled to read her hilarious new book, How Not to Date,just out from Seattle’s Sasquatch Books (for my "official" review, see Amazon). Eagle-eyed readers will spot my anonymous cameo in the book as well. If you hate dating books, you’re still pretty likely to like this. And for all you New Yorkers, please come out to her UnValentine book party on Wednesday, February 13th from 6:30 to 8:00 at The Knitting Factory Tap Room, 74 Leonard Street. Another thing I think is awesome about Judy is that she never bullshits. So check out her blog, her Dategirl column in Seattle Weekly, and her book, and come on out to the party – there will be yummy cupcakes from my new favorite bakery, the adorable mini cupcake empire that is Kumquat Cupcakery, and bad date stories galore.

How old are you?

Forty-three. Though I believe a careful combination of spendy moisturizers and sun/cigarette avoidance allows me to pass for forty-one-and-a-half in certain lighting situations.

Who was the first person you ever gave dating advice to, and what was it?

I went through a protracted, excruciating period of befriending crushes and then giving them advice about the girls they were hot for. Oddly enough, that girl was never me. So I guess that started in high school and I finally wised up and quit being friends with men I wanted to sleep with at some point during my early thirties. I guess you could say I’m a slow learner.

Are you better at giving dating advice than taking it?

Ha. Like most people, I’m way better at doling it out than taking it myself. I seem to have a common-sense block.

You've been writing your Dategirl column for eight years. Has the nature of the questions you get changed over the years? What's the most common question?

From jump, the most common question has been “how can I meet someone?” But people tend to tack on a bunch of caveats like, “but I hate bars, refuse to try online dating, only like redheads, won’t date outside my religion/race, etc.,” which just makes me slappy. It’s hard enough to meet someone you don’t want to punch in the face; to also require that the person meet a bunch of arbitrary requirements is just insane.

Your new book, How Not To Date, is in many ways an anti-dating guide, or perhaps it's about learning from negative examples. Why did you choose to structure it this way?

I’ve always found reading about and learning from negative examples to be far more effective and fun than plodding through some cheery instructional manual. Plus, who wants to hear about a bunch of great dates with inspiring outcomes? This book doesn’t promise to find you a date, but it will give you tips on how to avoid fucking things up beyond repair.

Were most of the contributors of horror dates your friends, or strangers? How did you go about finding them?

I told everyone I knew that I was looking. Some were friends, then there were friends of friends . . . others were recruited through my blog and still others I tracked down because something about them appealed to me. Like Dan Renzi, who used to be on the Real World. I love his blog and asked him to participate. He agreed and I’m so glad—he’s hilarious and should be a giant star.

In addition to the many dating don'ts, you also have interviews with people like porn stars Joanna Angel and Tera Patrick, DJ Kurt B. Reighley, shrink Rob Dobrenski, PhD, and a former stripper. What was the most surprising thing any of them said?

The most surprising was that while Tera Patrick said she’d reject the wee of wiener, Joanna Angel was more concerned that the person she was dating be charming and able to carry on a conversation. She said she that her sex life was so amazing at “the office,” physical chemistry (and a giant cock) were less important off-screen.

Out of all the awful stories in the book, which would you single out as the most awful, the kind you wouldn't even wish on your worst enemy?

After all my research into bad dates and eight years as a dating columnist, nobody has managed to top the guy who crapped himself in my bed.

Was there anything too horrifying to include in the book?

Personally, I didn’t find this at all horrifying, but one item in my list of things you should never tell your date made my editors weep like little babies and they asked me to take it out: “I have enough extra skin around my testicles that I can wrap it around my hand like a mitten.”

Maybe it’s a guy thing, but I found it kind of charming.

My favorite part is about how your current boyfriend, Spyro, actually committed a dating faux pas (having his friends tag along on the date), but you forgave him enough for a second date. When should you let a mistake go, and when should you give someone another chance?

Spyro was freaked out when he discovered that I was a dating columnist, so he decided to protect himself with a wall of friends. Once he figured out that our date was actually a date and not a research expedition, he relaxed. He was such a goof about the whole thing it wound up being kind of charming. Plus, men are never intimidated by me, so that was refreshing!

I think people don’t rely on their gut nearly enough. If you have a good feeling about someone who suffers a momentary spazz-out, then give them another chance. But if your gut is saying no, listen. I certainly could’ve saved myself a lot of trouble that way.

Who would you say is your target audience for How Not to Date?

Anyone with $16.95 in their pocket.

Is Valentine's Day a terrible time to pick someone up, or the perfect time?

I know it’s probably wrong for a dating columnist to feel this way, but I really loathe Valentine’s Day. Any holiday specifically designed to make single people feel like crap is one I really have no use for. And yeah, I realize it’s not about that—it’s ostensibly about celebrating love, whatnot—but too many women wind up crying into their cocktails because they don’t have a boyfriend or husband to buy them an ugly stuffed animal clutching a satin heart. So I guess if you’re a guy who’s into picking up the depressed, drunk and vulnerable it’s a great time!

And now some questions for the aspiring writers out there; how did you land your Dategirl column, and what's been the secret to your longevity?

I’ve been a writer for a long time, but never wrote about relationships until a cartoonist friend and I decided to do an animated series called Dategirl. Richard Mather, the cartoonist, and I got a deal with MTV to do the series, which was about a sex and love advice columnist who lived in Williamsburg. I was all excited, quit my academic job researching heroin addicts and prepared to become the next Matt Groening.

After nine months of development, MTV passed on the show. Oopsie! Meanwhile, I’d met another Richard—Richard Martin—who was then an editor at theSeattle Weekly. He suggested I just become the main character in the TV show and try out as their new sex columnist. So I did and got the job.

As for the question of my longevity—I honestly have no idea, but am convinced that with most good things, luck played a large part.

How did the book deal come about, and how long did it take you to write it? What was the most challenging thing about the process of writing the book and getting it out into the world?

The book came about while I was on vacation. I got an email from Terence Maikels at Sasquatch Books (a Seattle publisher) asking if I was interested in writing one. Um, okay!

The actual writing was the easy, fun part of doing the book. I’m a fairly quick writer and I love interviewing people and hearing their funny stories, so that bit was cake. Sasquatch is a small press, so I didn’t get lost in the shuffle, which was great. Everyone from the publisher to my editor to the production staff was completely supportive and kind.

By far, the most difficult part has been promoting the book. I’m actually fairly shy and so the process of pushing myself into the spotlight has been excruciating. Anyone who thinks the book-writing process is over when they type “The End” is sadly mistaken.

How Not to Date was recently featured in People magazine in a roundup of Valentine's Day-themed books. How did this come about, and what kind of feedback have you been getting?

I have two lovely friends who are photo editors at People. When they heard I was doing a book, they volunteered to walk it down to the books editor and plead my case. For that I owe them my first-born. The book editor decided to run with it and so she can have my second. As I’m not actually having babies, I think probably a thank you note will have to suffice.

It’s astonishing what one little blurb in People will do for sales. My Amazon ranking rocketed. I don’t know how that translates into numbers, but I suspect it’s a very, very good thing.

Since Britney Spears was on the cover of that issue, what dating advice would you have for her?

Oh, poor dear, Britney . . . the girl needs to be medicated. She needs a solid course of pharmaceuticals and intensive therapy before she should even think about dating. And for chrissakes, somebody hook her up with some birth control.

What's next for you?

A few years ago I collaborated on an odd kid’s book that’s currently being shopped around. I have most of another proposal done, but it’s still in need of tweaking, and am trying to find the time to flesh out some television proposals that this amazing production company is interested in. Mostly I’m kind of overwhelmed because while doing all this, I need to make some dough and am also doing a bunch of marketing writing.

I’m really lucky that I get to do something I love, but sometimes it’s hard to organize your life in a way that makes it all happen and allows you to pay the bills. At least for me, anyway.

And now, since this is my blog, I will ask a public yet personal question. I seem to wind up in dating situations that aren't always worst case scenarios, but are not exactly best case scenarios, most of the time meaning that the person and I have very different dating goals and outlooks. How can you tell early on whether someone is looking for the same things, in my case, "settling down" and kids, without sounding like you're hounding them to get serious from day one?

I’d say an attitude adjustment is in order. Instead of worrying that they might not want to get married and have kids with you, try to figure out if they’re at all worthy of you even think along those lines. Most men aren’t going to be.

Then, once you find one worth considering, lay it on the line. Tell them you’re not at a place where you’re comfortable with casual sex and while you don’t equate bumping uglies with an imminent future together, you don’t want to be some schmo’s sex toy.

Not that candor necessarily guarantees you won’t get hurt. Dating can be tough and there are shady creeps who will just pull the old fuck and run, no matter how vigilant you are. You need to have a thick skin, but there’s only so much you can do to protect yourself without shutting yourself off from possibilities.

Bear in mind, that most married men didn’t go out on their first date with their wives, thinking they were going to shack up and procreate. Instead, they discovered, over time, that this particular person was the one they wanted to share their life with.

Lastly, at your New York book release party on Wednesday, February 13th, you're getting people (including me!) to share bad date stories. If someone's not in New York, how can they share their bad date story with you?

Oh, please share! I can never hear enough bad date stories—it makes me feel less alone. Go to my blog and leave them in the comments or email me at judy.mcguire AT

Labels: , , ,

Sunday, February 10, 2008

nothing to say

I would write, but I truly have very little to say, at least here. I should be like everyone else and start a secret blog, but don't have the energy. That's me, lately - so little energy. New York, much as I love it, well, it may be time to think about living elsewhere. Of course, it would take me at least a year to clear out my apartment, and I don't know of any other city as good for the non-drivers, I just have been feeling a bit worn down by this city, by myself, lately. It seems like there are so many events one "has" to go to, and at a certain point, I kindof wonder why. I wonder if I'm contributing to that by trying to run events myself, if maybe it would be better to be a bit more of a hermit and less of a social butterfly. Or rather, not try to be a social butterfly when I just wind up having the same old conversations that really don't mean anything.

I know I need to just get through the next little while, and I'll be okay, but of late, the whole fake it till you make thing isn't really working. I'm supposed to go to my first speed dating event tomorrow - this Time Out New York thing - and I probably will, if I can find something suitable to wear, but in the state I've been in recently, I'm not sure how well I'd fare. At the same time, I do need to break out of my social shell, because much as I love my friends (and I do! I do!), I also know that it is so easy to get so insular here that you never wind up meeting people who might break you out of that. Things will get better, I know, and I got through a few big things this week, with more looming, I just feel really off. I spent almost all of yesterday on my couch, dozing off and on, trying to be awake, alert, productive, but sometimes I just get so overwhelmed by, well, life, and I wonder how other people do it, how I'm supposed to get out of my messes, literal and otherwise. And if I've learned anything, it's that if you can't see the outcome, you can't envision a solution. So I am trying, baby step by baby step, to envision a solution to, for lack of a better word, me. I must go try to find some clothing that I like and wash my hair cause I'm gonna try to get my photo taken. If I like how I look, you'll see them. If not, next time...

In any case, I am going to Miami soon, so if you know anyone there, tell them to come to this reading - I have eaten more cupcakes in the last two months, more sugar overall, than I care to contemplate. They do truly start to lose their charm when they're ubiquitous, so while I will be nibbling, I will mostly be trying to find people to foist the cupcakes I am staking out there on (I have plans to visit 5-6 bakeries while I'm in town). Hence, I will be bringing cupcakes to Books & Books. Join us:

Lip Service 5!
True stories out loud.

The hottest, funniest, saddest, most real show in South Florida.

Rachel Aranoff, Andrea Askowitz, Jennifer Bartman, Joe Clifford,
Jaquira Diaz, Malvina Feinswog, Lori LaMedica, Steve Moss, and
special guest: New York sex writer Rachel Kramer Bussel

Saturday, Feb. 23rd, 7 p.m.
@ Books & Books, 265 Aragon Avenue, Coral Gables, 33134.

Show is free. Wine bar and music in the courtyard after the show.
Don’t miss it.

Check out for submission deadlines
and to hear stories from Lip Services past.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Molly Crabapple's art show Demimonde opens tonight!

With artist Molly Crabapple
Me with Molly Crabapple; photo by People magazine Valentine's Day superstar Judy McGuire (her book How Not to Date is featured in the new issue, with Britney on the cover - check it out!)

I've already gotten a sneak preview and it's amazing. Would that I could afford some of it (though I do have a Molly original - yes, the one of me for In The Flesh) on my kitchen wall. Molly Crabapple continues to astound me with the intricacy and sexy deliciousness of her art. Smart, sexy, and intriguing - most of these pieces are HUGE and really worth your time. If you can't come tonight, check it out anytime during the run. Show details and video preview below, or see Arena Studios. Curated by Audacia Ray.

Labels: , ,

Single girl, who would want to be a single girl...

If you didn't know, I'm quoting lyrics by Lush, who I continue to adore.

But as I continue to be very, very single, when Time Out New York asked if I wanted to be in their "Date Our Friends" feature, I said yes. A tiny pic of me (seen below) is in the print mag, and my "ad" is online. So please pass it on to your single friends! I'm so so so so ONLY looking for serious relationships, though. Been there, done that on the casual thing. Anyway, they gave me 50 words and I think I did okay, so read it. And it may be unclear from the ad, but I'm open to men or women. And yes, the fact that no one has replied yet makes me feel like even more of a loser, but you've gotta try everything, right? I hope so.

More on this topic this weekend, but for now I'll just say - yes, I know Ashlea (she contributed "Battle of the Sexless" to Best Sex Writing 2008), but clearly, we don't know each other that well, because the last thing in the world I would ever want anyone to want to date me is because I wrote about sex. BOOOOOORING and who the fuck cares, right? Well, that's my take. So if that's what intrigues you, you've so got the wrong girl. Call Julia Allison's # on the cover, okay? Not that she writes about sex (dating, so close), but I never ever want to go out with anyone again who "likes me" because of the dumbass writing I've done. I thought I left that behind after the Village Voice column, but apparently I was wrong. So I'm actually taking Julia's branding message to heart. I can't "undo" what I have out there in the world, and I don't want to, and yet, something is off message. Something feels icky and wrong to me lately about the image I must project on the dating pool, so I'm trying to fix that.

The real me? The girl with the umpteen heavy bags. The girl who sleeps curled up in a ball on her couch with the lights on. The girl who cries at least once a month, usually more. The one with so much in her head she sometimes wants to start over as someone else. The one who loves super cheesy movies. The one who writes about cupcakes and is as excited about visiting a 4-year-old as she is about doing a reading in Miami. Okay, I guess I got carried away and kinda said what I wanted to say. Copy editor Noah Tarnow did not nominate me, alas, but I'm much more into his trivia night than any sex event.

Don't get me wrong, I still want to have sex, like, sometime in 2008, and I do write about it and will continue to, but I despise the fact that that seems to then define me, that it's considered all I can do or want to do. I have so many other interests that supercede sex. I was going to say "I'm stuck with it," and that's not it either, because I love the work that I do, I just hate the pigeonholing, stereotyping, judgment. I hate sometimes being surrounded by sex writing yet almost never the real thing, and when I do have it, it's moments of fleeting faux intimacy. I just want to meet someone nice and normal and mature and well-suited to me. And if someone tells me I'm "initimidating" one more time, I think it'll be time to pack it in, get the hell out of New York, and go find me a cave to live in.

Labels: ,

Last day to win heart-themed cupcake papers

Today's the last day to leave a comment (with email address, saying how you like to decorate your cupcakes) to win these - NOT HERE, but in this Cupcakes Take the Cake post. We've also got a poll going on the right-hand side asking how you like to eat your cupcakes. No prize, just fun, on that one.

Heart cupcake papers

Colorful Swedish cupcake papers are ideal for your Valentine cupcakes.

  • Standard 3” cups are greaseproof, perfect for a potluck.

  • Surprise! "Happy Valentine's Day" message is printed on the bottom.

  • Package of 60.

  • Did you know that if you grease cupcake papers before adding batter, it prevents them from tearing baked cupcakes or muffins when you peel them off?

And random, but just had to share this doggie cupcake cake from Cupcakes by Carrie

Labels: , ,