My essay on Kim Kardashian West's White House meeting with Trump and slut-shaming

This is my month of Medium, where I aim to post 30 essays or articles, which averages out to once a day. I can't commit to once a day because I'll be in Berlin for part of the trip and attempting to be offline, but I'm pretty sure I can do 30, especially given all the ideas floating around in my mind. Today's post is about Kim Kardashian's recent White House visit to meet with President Trump about prison reform. Specifically, it's about all the people who slut-shame her and act like because she's a "porn star" she can't have opinions. If you like the piece, please consider sharing and/or clapping (holding down the hands button at the left of the essay for 1-50 times), which helps it get viewed by more people.



Also, to be forthright about my writing rejections, this essay got three of them from the places I submitted it to starting Thursday morning around six a.m. Two rejections via email, one from an editor I'd never worked with and one from an editor I have, both asking me to pitch again. The third outlet I didn't get a response from, but I submitted it as a pitch late Thursday, around five p.m., after the first rejection, and said I'd shop it around if I didn't hear back by Friday at 5 p.m. So then I decided to post it on Medium since its timeliness is waning.

My new weekly sex column Let's Get It On debuted in Philadelphia City Paper!

Big October news: I'm returning to my sex column roots with a new column called Let's Get It On in alt weekly Philadelphia City Paper, to run every Thursday. The first one is called "Are you a slut?" and is about The UnSlut Project, slut shaming and how we define and use the word. I've got lots of great topics planned but am also open to new ideas - feel free to email me at rachelkb at gmail.com with "Column" in the subject if you'd like to suggest a topic. On Twitter we are using #cpsex as a hashtag to discuss each week's column. Very excited a decade later to be writing a new column and I will share more thoughts on that later. For now I will tell you that my column is running on a trial basis and I would love more than anything to have it continue, so if you could click, share, comment, I'd greatly appreciate it. I hope that doesn't sound too desperate, because I'm not desperate, I just am honored to get back to my love of nonfiction writing and have the opportunity to respond to timely sex news events and share my personal experiences and get virtually naked.

I Slut-Shamed Myself and Lied to My Gynecologist

Read all about it at The Frisky:

I didn’t think I was ashamed of the number of sexual partners I’ve had in the 20 years I’ve been getting it on until I found myself filling in a number half the true total at a recent gynecologist appointment. Although I know doctors are trained not to judge, and this doctor in particular had been particularly kind, helpful and professional when I’d seen her previously, in my head, all of a sudden the number (at best an approximation as I haven’t kept an exact count in year) seemed like cause for alarm.

Keep reading

SlutWalk NYC is happening October 1st, noon, Union Square

I'm bummed that I didn't know that SlutWalk NYC was holding an erotic bingo fundraiser Tuesday night (my bad). Bingo is one of my favorite activities!



But I wanted to let you know, and please tell anyone in NYC who might be interested, that SlutWalk NYC is happening October 1st at noon at Union Square. Visit slutwalknyc.com for more information. I'm working on an article about the SlutWalk phenomenon that'll run next week and it's inspiring to see what's going on at various SlutWalks, and there are many (just visit the @SlutWalkNYC Twitter feed to see links to many others). They're also on Facebook (as of this posting, 5337 people have RSVPed).





They have a pretty detailed FAQ which I encourage you to read. Here's part of it:

What is slut-shaming?
“Slut” is a derogatory term that is most often used against women who are perceived to be sexual. Women are called sluts for a variety of arbitrary reasons: the clothes they wear, the makeup they wear, their body language, the way they interact with other people, ideas about their sexual behavior, how many partners they may have, or just being perceived in some way as different…The judgment is consistently based on little or no knowledge about a particular woman as a person.

How is SlutWalk NYC different from Take Back the Night?
In many ways SlutWalk NYC and Take Back the Night have similar goals about ending sexual violence. One difference is that SlutWalk NYC is a daytime event, emphasizing that sexual violence can happen at any time. SlutWalk NYC centers trans, genderqueer, gender non-conforming survivors and allies in our organizing and fight for justice. We also welcome male survivors of sexual assault and male allies to participate fully in all events and our organizing.

And from Facebook:

No matter who you are
No matter where you work
No matter how you identify
No matter how you flirt
No matter what you wear
No matter who you choose to love
No matter what you said before:

NO ONE has the right to touch you without your consent. SlutWalk NYC is part of a worldwide grassroots movement challenging rape culture, victim-blaming and slut-shaming*, and working to end sexual and domestic violence.

*SlutWalk NYC’s working definition of slut-shaming: the derogatory, sexist language and policies that are used to shame self-identified women who are perceived as sexual.

Susie Bright interview and slut-shaming article at Alternet

Heading to DC this weekend - excited for Momentumcon, but kindof wish this were a stay-in-NYC-and-be-warm-and-catch-up-on-scary-to-do-list weekend. That'll have to be next weekend, I supposed. Very behind but determined to put Best Bondage Erotica 2011 and my kinky couples anthology (deadlines today!) to bed before I leave for Seattle in two weeks. Or as damn close as I can get. I have this mantra on repeat kindof like "I think I can," but in my case it's "The perfect is the enemy of the good." In-fucking-deed.

I interviewed Susie Bright for SexIs Magazine about her memoir Big Sex Little Death.



I wrote "Slut Shame: Why Are We Still Attacking Women for Having Sex?" at Alternet.

I didn't write either headline.