Email: rachelkramerbussel at gmail.com



 

Lusty Lady

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Watch my first and favorite book trailer for Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Get Spanked in print and ebook

Monday, December 31, 2012

Yes, I want to edit your sex diaries

Lots of people tell me they've wanted to write a sex diary but...something stopped them. With a new year approaching, if you've wanted to write one, here's a nudge to consider writing an anonymous sex diary and letting out your inner literary exhibitionist. You can read the previous diaries here to get a sense of the style and content. There's no minimum (or maximum!) amount of sex required, or any other requirements, for that matter, in terms of sexual content, just a lively, interesting personality and way of looking at your own life (as far as I'm concerned). Email me at sexdiaries at nymag.com if you're interested (and/or plan to have a wild and sexy New Year's Eve). Thank you for reading and for referring people to the diaries. It's greatly appreciated! Happy, sexy New Year!

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Sunday, December 30, 2012

True sex essay anthology deadline extended to January 6th (earlier submissions get priority)

Desperate times call for desperate measures, so though I had so hoped to be done with this anthology by tomorrow, I'm still one third short on my word count. That means I'd love it if you'd spread the word (either en masse or to someone you know who has an amazing sex story they might want to share in writing). I do NOT need any stories about sex work, but I would love an essay by an asexual person and I'd also love an essay by a transgender person (essays don't have to necessarily be "about" those topics). Those are just two potential ideas on my editorial dream wishlist. The truth is, the essay I'm looking for is the one I don't yet know exists but that keeps me riveted, awed, amazed, and sure that my readers will be too. In other words, I'll know it when I see it.

Queries or questions? Email me at truesexantho at gmail.com - earlier submissions get priority and I'll be filling the anthology as I go. I will consider anything that comes in by December 6th, there will just be fewer spots available by then most likely. If you are waiting to hear back from me, I will get back to you as soon as I can, by the end of January at the latest. I have wanted to do this book since I first started hosted True Sex Confessions nights in 2006 at In The Flesh. If you want to know the type of essay I love, read "Silver Baling" by Stacey D'Erasmo in Best Sex Writing 2009 and "It's a Shame About Ray" by Kirk Read in Best Sex Writing 2010 (or any personal essay I've published in Best Sex Writing 2008, 2009, 2010, 2012, 2013. I hope it's not just a dream that never sees the light of day, and I have a feeling that this will be a wonderful book. Thanks!



Call for Submissions
True Sex essay anthology
Edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel
To be published by Cleis Press


Editor Rachel Kramer Bussel is looking for true (nonfiction) essays about your most powerful sexual experiences. The final book will feature a wide range of scenarios, settings, writing styles, ages, races, genders and sexual orientations. These should not be academic in tone or about theory, though there can be a political or serious element; I’m mainly looking for extremely personal, one of a kind essays focused around compelling sexual events in your life. I’m looking for your hottest sex, or the worst sex, or the kinkiest, or the funniest, or the meanest, or the most unexpected. Sex with a celebrity? Sex with someone forbidden? Sex you’ve never told anyone about? Sex on vacation you wouldn't have had at home? Sex on drugs? Group sex? Sex on camera? Sex you paid for or were paid for? Sex that surprised or confused you? Sex that changed your life? I want the story that most speaks to you about your sex life, either as a defining moment or simply one you’ve never been able to forget. No poetry. First or second person POV welcome. See the Best Sex Writing series and videos of true sex confessions from my former In The Flesh Reading Series for an idea of the types of essays I’m looking for. Please keep in mind that the more original and unique your essay, the better its chances. I want the story that only you can write told in a lively, compelling, can't-put-down way. Original essays will get priority, but I will consider reprints as long as you retain the rights; you MUST include the previous publication information with your submission.

Payment: Contributors will receive $100/essay and 2 copies of the anthology on publication. Contract is for one-time rights.

How to submit: Send only the final version of your proofread work along with your bio and mailing address. Include essay title and byline at top of first page. Send double spaced Times or Times New Roman 12 point black font Word document OR RTF of 1,500-3,500 word essay. Indent the first line of each paragraph half an inch and double space (regular double spacing, do not add extra lines between paragraphs or do any other irregular spacing). US grammar (double quotation marks around dialogue, etc.) required. Include your legal name (and pseudonym if applicable), mailing address, and 50 word or less bio in the third person to truesexantho@gmail.com. If you are using a pseudonym, please provide your real name and pseudonym and make it clear which one you’d like to be credited as. Cleis Press has final approval over the manuscript so you can expect a final answer by April 2013.

Deadline: January 6, 2012 (earlier submissions get priority)

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My Hitachi Magic Wand essay at Salon and Hitachi Magic Wand erotica story in Instruments of Pleasure

I'm ending the year on a high note with an essay at Salon called "Is My Vibrator Ruining My Relationship?" about buying a second Hitachi Magic Wand. I know I look a bit weird in the photo below; I'm not that great at self-portraits, but it's the only photo of I have of me with a Hitachi.



Speaking of this beloved vibrator, my story "Like This," about a woman who shows off her use of a Hitachi Magic Wand, kicks off my 10-story ebook Instruments of Pleasure: Sex Toy Erotica, now available for Kindle ($4.99) and Nook ($5.39, I don't set the prices because if I did these would be equal!). More info about it below, and stay tuned for more erotica ebooks from me.
I can't think of a better way to add more fun to sex than sex toys—after all, the word "toy" is right there, and today's sex toys come in all sorts of playful designs, from Hello Kitty vibrators to sparkly harnesses, light smackers to heavy paddles. Whatever you can dream of, you can probably find—or make your own!

The very special stories in Instruments of Pleasure highlight the many ways we use sex toys to make our fantasies come true. Sometimes, there's a lesson involved, such as "Like This," where a woman uses what many consider the "Cadillac of vibrators," the ultra-powerful plug-in vibe Hitachi Magic Wand (or "electric miracle," in the story), to show her lover exactly what she does when she's alone. For others, toys are part of BDSM play, especially spanking, and you can read about the intense strokes of a cane in "Getting It Right" and the power of "The Spanking Machine." The dildo in "A Girl, Two Guys, and a Sex Toy" almost makes it a foursome, while in "The London O," using a pair of remote controlled panties with a built-in vibrator in public brings new heights to the thrill of sightseeing. In "Strapped" and "The Inner Vixen," women take charge, using a strap-on dildo and harness and a whip, respectively, exulting in the power they hold, and the delight their partner gets in being on the receiving end. Other times, rather than adding sensation, we take away a sense, such as the use of a blindfold in "Princess." Without being able to see, the heroine can simply feel. In "The Apiary," there are multiple toys, including a collar and chains, but the main "toy" is a chair, a piece of furniture that can be surprisingly erotic, if you use your imagination.

I hope these stories serve as their own kind of sex toy for you, and inspire you to break out your favorite toy, or perhaps discover a new one. You can never have too many sex toys, or have too much fun with them!


And the table of contents:

Like This Rachel Kramer Bussel

The London O Justine Elyot

Princess Elizabeth Coldwell

Strapped KD Grace

The Apiary Megan Butcher

Undercover Kink Louisa Harte

The Inner Vixen Saska Walker

A Girl, Two Guys, and a Sex Toy Kristina Wright

Getting It Right Teresa Noelle Roberts

The Spanking Machine by Rachel Kramer Bussel

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Saturday, December 29, 2012

Book review gratitude and inspiration: Best Bondage Erotica 2012 and Only You: Erotic Romance for Women

Sometimes I need a little good news to push me through the tough editorial times, though I'm thankful for a few days in snowy New York to get my bearings, clean/unearth/declutter, catch up on old stories and brainstorm new ones (and browse my favorite fashion sites with the excuse of incorporating them) and file the last two books I'm contracted to do (I hope there will be more at some point, but I'm trying this radical new thing of not to get too crazily ahead of myself, lest I trip and ruin myself for the now, as I've done, oh, several hundred times before), my true sex essay anthology and my book of erotic short stories, both for Cleis Press. Here are two reviews from places I hold in high esteem: Good Vibrations and Publishers Weekly (perhaps a first for me, or if not, a rarity, so I feel special and bigtime), respectively.


Best Bondage Erotica 2012

reviewed at Good Vibrations (click to read the whole review, with shoutouts to "A Night at the Opera" by Elizabeth Coldwell, "Knot Alone" by Kathleen Tudor and "Laced" by Elizabeth Silver):
The stories in this collection balance the swirling apprehension, arousal and curiosity about one’s own limits that makes BDSM so thrilling and sexy. ...For kinksters who are new to erotica, or simply just want a new collection to peruse for ideas and stimulation, Best Bondage Erotica 2012 is a handy way of exploring fantasy and sexuality through literature. Use it to brainstorm new ideas, provoke conversations with your partners, or simply read it as a bedtime story that will do anything but put you to sleep. Your mind can paint a picture of submission, one sketched by the writers in this collection and fleshed out fully by the reader – you.


Order Best Bondage Erotica 2012 from:

Amazon

Kindle ebook

Barnes & Noble

Nook ebook

Powell's

IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore)

Books-a-Million

Cleis Press


Only You: Erotic Romance for Women

reviewed by Publishers Weekly
Bussel (Anything for You: Erotica for Kinky Couples) has assembled a solid collection of 20 sexy, romantic tales featuring male/female couples at different stages of their relationships, all taking different, intriguing routes to their happy endings. Issue-driven stories are some of the hottest and most thought-provoking. A woman’s waning physical desire is renewed when her husband unexpectedly spanks her in Giselle Renarde’s “Forgotten Bodies.” A couple embrace the anger inextricable from their sex life in Kristina Wright’s “The Love We Make.” A woman who thinks her vulva is ugly meets a man who finds it incredibly sexy in K D Grace’s “Unfolding.” Thirtyish Ruthie falls for Sol, who’s 75, in Anna Watson’s “September Song.” Other standouts introduce sexy politicians (Kate Dominic’s “Republicans Don’t Like”), the parents of triplets (Lolita Lopez’s “Mom’s Night Out”), and a middle-aged woman who deflowers her younger lover (Bussel’s own “For the Very First Time”). The couples are not terribly diverse in race, class, or culture, but their stories are otherwise wide-ranging enough to have fairly broad appeal.

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Friday, December 28, 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey college class

I wrote about the Fifty Shades of Grey college class at American University for The Daily Beast. Working on this story made me (briefly) want to attend college again! And I actually have two other Fifty Shades-related stories I'm working on, among various short stories and pop culture tidbits. Another more personal story coming soon, related to a beloved sex toy.
In her blog post, Woods outlined several key areas the curriculum will cover, with students answering questions such as “Evaluate the relationship in the book in light of our readings on domestic violence. Are the leads in the trilogy in a healthy or abusive relationship? Why or why not?” and “What was the role of social media in perpetuating the trilogy's success? If you were in charge of marketing the upcoming movies, how would you utilize social media?” Students will be forced to read, write, and analyze critically.

Contrary to a USA Today claim that they’ll be rewriting the first 150 pages, students will instead be asked to rewrite one of the introductory chapters, before Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey consummate their relationship, with an aim to improving it. "That's a useful skill in almost any job. Someone who has just graduated will be tasked with editing and proofreading and reviewing over and over again for their superiors in the office," claimed Woods, who said most of the class's students are enrolled in the school or communications or are studying sexuality.
Read the whole thing

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Thursday, December 27, 2012

Audiobook edition of Going Down: Oral Sex Stories available now

I'm catching up on lots of end of the year work (including a newsletter, finally, you can sign up for that on the left-hand side of rachelkramerbussel.com) but wanted to share that my latest book available in an Audible.com audio edition is Going Down: Oral Sex Stories, read by Samantha Prescott, Carmen Rose and Freddie Bates (click here for a free sample). See the whole list here, and you can try one free by signing up for a 30-day free Audible trial.



Here's what some reviewers have said, and the table of contents and introduction: "This is a GREAT anthology, but really, do you expect anything less when it has Rachel's name on the cover? I expect great things from RKB's work and she has delivered every time, without fail, definitely the mark of a great artist. Buy it! You won't be sorry."
—Literaturely Speaking

"21 stories told within 206 pages of readable, plausible, seductive, and exciting sexual story telling at its finest. Nothing so short as to leave you wanting and nothing so long as to take more than a relaxing bath time soak to read which makes it just about right for anyone who is looking to add a bit of erotic reading to their already busy lives. Stories take you from a young heterosexual couples first encounter with porn during a French film festival to steamy girl on girl and guy on guy scenarios that leave you wondering what that couple next door to you does behind that high wooden fence in their back yard. From young and exploring to seasoned and appreciative I think that anyone with an open mind to maters sexual is going to find at least 75% of the offering in this book to their liking. And the other 25% gives you room to grow into an appreciation for sex you might have never thought about."
—One Hot Marriage

"This was by far one of the most complete erotic works I've ever come across. It had lovers of all backgrounds, ages, and gender identities. It featured straight men and women, gay and lesbian, bi, transmen and transwomen, to name a few. The oral stories were highly stimulating and titillating. An anthology is always a crowd pleaser, as readers can pick and choose what stories to read and how many because they’re only a couple pages long whenever they may choose. Reading multiple stories in a row could prove difficult as the stories are so steamy readers may need to take a break." —Night Owl Reviews


"This book is a must get, and I would consider it a true keeper next to your bedside when you need to stimulate your mind in order to stimulate everything else. I don't have a ratings system on this blog, however if I did this book would get 5 stars out of 5. This is the book that guys should get and read, because it really is just that good." —Mind Chaotica

Introduction: Intense Intimacy and Erotic Power

Pretty Dull Charlotte Stein
Milk Moustache Jacqueline Applebee
Lavender Cynthia Hamilton
Etiquette Sylvia Lowry
Stacked Logan Zachary
Sucking Casey’s Cock Shanna Germain
Getting Something Out of It Annabeth Leong
Bubble Dance Jeremy Edwards
Seriously Jeanette Grey
Shuck It Dusty Horn
Dover to Victoria Station Roxy Rogers
Blush Mary Borsellino
Clean/Dirty Lucy Felthouse
Trimming Tenille Brown
Your Body Is a Temple Neil Gavriel
New Additions Rachel Kramer Bussel
Do You Speak French? Chrissie Bentley
Close Your Eyes Viktoria Michaelis
Snow Job A. M. Hartnett
The Perfect Shade Elizabeth Coldwell
The Thousand and One Ways Graydancer

Introduction: Intense Intimacy and Erotic Power

I thought I knew, if not everything, quite a bit about the fine art of oral sex until I started to read the stories that came in for Going Down. In them, giving and receiving head became its own, if you’ll pardon the pun, head trip, and showed me that there is plenty for even the most seasoned connoisseur to learn and enjoy about an act that brings pleasure to so many.

If you’re reading this and thinking, But I’m not really sure I like it… or some variation thereof, I encourage you to keep reading. You just may surprise yourself when you thrill to the risky, risque and exciting ways these men and women find to get off while giving and getting head. There is the thrill of the chase, along with the thrill of being the taster and tastee, but there is also a lot more going on here. Perhaps because oral sex can bring up our uncertainties, there is a depth to these stories as the characters boldly go where many of us would like to go, if only we had the courage⎯or the kind of partner who can push us over that particular hurdle into the bliss that awaits.

While these tales aren’t necessarily ones I’d encourage you to emulate, they are ones that will capture your erotic imagination and, perhaps, make you think about things you’d like to try, or just give you a few minutes of delight.

So just what will you find in Going Down? There’s a woman who knows “The Thousand and One Ways” to show her lover her devotion. There’s the couple who wind up watching an erotic scene on the big screen so scandalous, plenty of people walk out⎯but not them. You’ll find oysters given the lusty honor they deserve in Dusty Horn’s “Shuck It” as two lovers dine on a sumptuous meal before discovering all the power play they can share by giving themselves over to each other.

The intimacy of climbing between someone else’s legs, of discovering what happens when you peel them open and utterly expose them, leaving them aching, trembling, willing to do anything to have you keep going, is a theme that is repeated here. Lovers get off on the thrill of being in command, in control, giving and taking joy in ways that leave the other person breathless. “There’s no rush of power quite like it in the world, that knowledge that you can make another person come, can release her desire and expose her most secret and vulnerable parts. That’s my favorite part of sex,” writes Mary Borsellino in “Blush.”

For some of these characters, oral sex leads them into new territory that brings revelations about much more than sex: Paige in “Getting Something Out of It,” by Annabeth Leong, lets go of the memory of a selfish lover and finds that when she takes control and owns what she’s doing when she goes down with a new lover, the act is special for both of them. Characters facing gender transitions, and their lovers, discover what remains and what is gloriously new about this most personal of changes.

Going Down covers a range of ways you can serve up oral pleasure, as well as reasons you just might enjoy it. I hope it will inspire you to think about the tongue as a tool of enchantment, a center of excitement at least as powerful as the one between your legs.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City

Purchase Going Down: Oral Sex Stories from:

Amazon

Kindle (ebook)

Bn.com

Nook (ebook)

Powell's

Books-A-Million

IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore)

Audible audiobook version (click for free sample)

Cleis Press

Hard

It's incredibly humbling to think you have the hang of one of the few things you do in your career (I'm talking broad strokes - I edit anthologies, write erotica and nonfiction, blog about cupcakes and occasionally teach erotic writing classes and organize readings), only to feel like it is impossible to get this one thing done. Hard. It's a word usually found in my books to describe body parts—penises, nipples. In this case, an anthology, which may be my last sex-related anthology, in part because this one has proven so arduous. I haven't made any final decisions yet, but I do know that if they are all this hard, I'm out. If one in many years is this hard...we'll see. It's humbling to think you have a good idea and believe you will be overwhelmed with submissions, to suddenly find you're scrambling to make your word count, hunting high and low for just the right mix to add to the equation. It feels like I've failed to reach out to the right people or maybe it was a bad idea in the first place. It makes me winder if it's a red flag, a sign that my idea that's been percolating for years is screwed from the start, though it could be that it's just a slow build and once I find those last few pieces, all the parts will make up something as grand and wonderful as what I'd originally envisioned. But in the middle, where I've been for months, it's just hard. I know from writing that the pieces that seem easy at the start aren't always the best ones, though usually, for me, they are, or maybe it's that I usually drop the pieces that are too tough and challenging and feel impossible so I never find out.

I'm at so many crossroads in my life and it's hard, too, to know what the right decisions are, which leaps of faith are worthwhile and which are foolish, where to focus my limited time and energy, when to stick to my guns and when to scrap Plan A or even B and C and start over. On this one, I have no idea, and I'm not pitching any new anthologies until I file it. I don't know if I have what it takes to keep doing them, and am holding out to see if the economics make sense, despite it being something I've loved doing. Because when it works, it's such a glorious feeling to open my inbox and find a piece of writing I myself never in a million years could or would have written, couldn't have even conceived of. It feels like a gift that someone wants to let me publish it, and always will. Right now, for the next four days, I am reminding myself that it doesn't have to be perfect (my vision of perfect, anyway), it just has to be done, or, like so many lost projects, it will never be a book, the kind people can pick up in a bookstore or download to their e-reader, it will just be a failed document on my laptop, a might have been, a symbol of a brainstorm gone awry.

I know that's a lesson I need to apply each and every day in my work, that all those queries that never get answered, all those rejections, are, in some small way, hopefully (faith, ha ha ha, I'm so bad at it) are the building blocks, the stepping stones, to the yeses, which are there, and have been this year, but sometimes I'm so stubborn and fixated on the nos I don't see them. So here's to yeses, and imperfections, and doing it anyway. And books, both the successes and the failures, made with passion and belief and dedication and hardness and humility. I want to end the year as guilt-free as possible, as unencumbered as I can be, so that I can be open to new ideas and possibilities and projects and visions. I know I am not capable of doing then when things like this hover over me like the dark clouds I saw for eight hours yesterday, the ones that made me fear for my life. But I survived the brutal rain and the visions of accidents that dance in my head when I'm in a car, and I will get through this and make room for all those delicious possibilities, that sound so fun now but surely will have their own challenges, if I'm so lucky as to be granted the opportunity to tackle them.

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Thursday, December 20, 2012

Retweet for Sandy Releif

Each retweet of this status update means $1 gets donated to New Jersey Sandy Relief Fund. More information on Plymouth Rock Assurance's Sandy forgiveness program here.

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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

"How to Shop for a Hoarder" at Buzzfeed Shift

My latest article is relevant to the holiday season: "How to Shop for a Hoarder" at Buzzfeed Shift. If you find it interesting/useful or just want to give me a cheap and easy gift, please like it on Facebook and/or pass it on to someone who might find it useful. Yes, it's about hoarding, but I think the topic of what kinds of gifts we give, how they're received and what they mean goes beyond hoarding. I learned a lot about practical gifts I had never thought of and what gifts mean to people, as well as about myself (an early draft suggested giving the gift of jumping out of an airplane, which is not something I think I would ever do, but I'd be so curious about it if someone gave that to me as a gift). Thanks for reading. This probably won't be the last you hear from me on the topics of hoarding, clutter and stuff.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The children

I'm sitting in the dining room of a Bethel, Connecticut rehab facility today. My mom looks out the window and says, "The flag is at half mast." My grandmother says, "For the children." And then we are all quiet for a few minutes, before moving back to the topics of various engagements and weddings (not actually happening within my family, but the daughter of one of our guests and one of my mom's friends, though everyone is just as excited about these as if they were our family's). We go back to the room and I watch news about comfort dogs being brought in to bring smiles to children who have been through something so horrific I still can't wrap my mind around it, no matter how much I read (and I have been reading a lot, even on my supposed break from the internet, because it feels impossible to do otherwise) until my grandmother insists on turning that TV off so we can watch The Talk, during which my mom asks who every co-host is and we debate who amongst us knows the most celebrity gossip.

On the ride back to Metro North, we have to pull over because I feel sick, more than I usually feel in a car. I have a headache most of the rest of the day and night, which has finally started to fade after a lot of fresh air, coffee and food. But that phrase, those two words, "the children," haunt me. We all know which children she meant, of course, the ones who can't be comforted by dogs, or anyone, at this point, though I would love right now to believe that somewhere, somehow, they are, in even the most minute way. I think about them when I pass a little girl with the biggest grin on her face getting kisses and love from what I think is a family member. I think about them when I address a holiday card to Sandy Hook and drop it in the mail. I think about them when I think about the children I owe holiday gifts to and wonder what to get. I think about them when I realize that more than trips to Charlotte or London or South Korea or Toronto, I'm excited about being asked to babysit during a weekend wedding in Pennsylvania, for a baby who will be two months old. I have presents for him at home, and am eager to give them to my friend, to put them alongside the adorable outfit she has waiting for him.

I think about how much she loves him, already, and how much I do too. I think about how I hope I can be a positive presence in his life, and his mom's. I think about how much courage it takes to bring a child into this world knowing that there's no way you can ever fully protect them, and wonder if I in any way will ever have that courage. I think about how after 9/11 that phrase "or the terrorists have won" was thrown around about almost everything. If we don't take the subway or go about our normal routines, the terrorists will have won. I think about how true that is, and also the fact that, to those we've lost, children and adults, they already have.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Break

I don't know if blogs count as social media, so I may be contradicting myself in this sentence, but I'm doing my best to take a social media break this week, to take care of myself, to plan what I'm going to do when I hit what feels like the health insurance jackpot on January 1st by, you know, having health insurance, to try to take in a little bit less information, to continue the path of reducing, rather than adding to, the drama in my life (so not my natural inclination, it's like I'm having an internal war when I deny myself the chance to take one little peek at some of those URLs). It's hard to feel like following through on putting together a newsletter when you feel like what you're offering to the world is useless, when none of it seems to matter and it feels so nauseatingly "me me me buying my books" that I want to toss them all in a dumpster, along with everything else I own (also clearly not my natural inclination, but what happens when I get sick of navigating through it all). I'm not even at the fake it til I make it stage, but I'll get there, because that's how I pay my rent, which I'm grateful every single month I'm able to do. So that's what I'm examining, what I'm offering myself, where I'm supposed to be going, while getting later than planned holiday cards out and trying to make better choices than a lot of the ones I've made this year and figure out how to selfishly focus on work that I love that actually counts as income-generating work. One word at a time, which might be the best I can do. Just, offline, ones that I can be proud of even though I will probably be the only one to see them. Much as I am simply waiting for 2013 to get here, if this year has taught me anything, it's that life is short and who knows how long I or anyone I care about has left, so I can't afford to just tick off the seconds; I have to find a way to make them count. Not sure how, but...that's part of life too. I was going to say I'll return to my regular internet ways in the new year, but maybe I won't and will work on decluttering my online presence. I think it creates an overinflated sense of self-importance, at least for me, but it's also a necessity, so maybe away from it I can figure out how to balance those things.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Free book for Amazon.com reviewers: Only You: Erotic Romance for Women

It's that time of the year when I mail out 30 copies of my new book to some of my favorite readers, my Amazon.com reviewers! Just be one of the first 30 to request one and I'll send them as soon as they arrive, free and autographed (US only). And I know it says "for women" in the title but this book will appeal to anyone who wants sexy romance, and I know I have plenty of male and non-women readers too! Thank you so much if you've ever reviewed a book of mine; I truly appreciate it. Please email onlyyouantho at gmail.com with "Amazon" in the subject line and your name and mailing address in the body, and I'll send it out to the first 30 people who contact me. Not only do you get a free book, you get it before it's in stores or for sale, because I get my copies directly from the printer. I like to think of it as a win-win, for fans of the kinds of books I edit. And of course I also appreciate anyone who buys, recommends or just considers my books. The table of contents and introduction are below. Bonus good book karma for clicking "like" on Amazon and/or rating it on Goodreads.



Introduction: Very Happy Endings

Driven Angela Caperton
Overcome Alyssa Turner
Forgotten Bodies Giselle Renarde
In the Doghouse Hanna Martine
Autumn Rain Michael A. Gonzales
The Love We Make Kristina Wright
In-Flight Entertainment Catherine Paulssen
Republicans Don’t Like Kate Dominic
Mom’s Night Out Lolita Lopez
Slow Fire Donna George Storey
The Nude, Stripped Naked Jeremy Edwards
Edge Skylar Kade
Unfolding K D Grace
Married Abigail Grey
Cook’s Treat Elizabeth Coldwell
Hollywood Romance Veronica Wilde
Matters of the Heart Tenille Brown
September Song Anna Watson
Saved Cassandra Carr
For the Very First Time Rachel Kramer Bussel

Introduction: Very Happy Endings

“Honey, are you happy?” is the question with which Cassandra Carr opens her story, “Saved,” about a marriage that needs reviving, pronto. Haven’t we all been in relationships where we longed to ask our partners what they were truly thinking and feeling; whether they were happy; whether they had fantasies, regrets, dreams—but didn’t ask because we were afraid of the answer? I certainly have, so I have extra admiration for this lonely wife who dares to ask for what she wants, realizing it’s never too late. That is the same spirit that enlivens every story in this collection, where sexual pleasure and romantic happiness are not guaranteed at the outset. Couples in various stages of their romances experience tricky territory and have to ask, pursue, explore and test the boundaries of their love in order to reach new peaks, learn about themselves, and make their relationships stronger. Yes, these stories are hot, and I fully encourage you to read them with one hand, but I also find them heartwarming. They explore what happens within a marriage or relationship behind closed doors, for the most part, when you’re stripped bare in the literal and figurative senses, and are truly seen by someone who knows you inside and out.

You very likely know the feeling of being captivated by a lover, wanting to be with him morning, noon and night; dreaming about her when you’re away; reveling in the heights of passion as well as the tender comforts of togetherness when you’re not. The stories in Only You celebrate that feeling of knowing the ones you love for all their high points and their faults, of seeing beyond their outer image to what truly makes their heart beat, sometimes knowing them better than they know themselves. The stories you are about to read all explore the theme, in some way, of lovers who are drawn to each other, whether they fully understand why or not. Some are pulled apart by obstacles they have to overcome, and others simply can’t wait to tear each other’s clothes off. Some serve as teachers, guides or gurus into matters of the heart.

What I especially like about these tales is that the lovers here join forces, using their knowledge of what the other person gets off on to spur them to risqué acts, even under circumstances that may not seem ideal at first glance. “Forgotten Bodies,” by Giselle Renarde, addresses the ways we can forget our own bodies, not to mention our partner’s libido, in long-term relationships. Susan goes so far as to hide in the bathroom to avoid sex with her husband, only to discover that he’s cooking up something new and naughty for them to try. In “The Love We Make,” by Kristina Wright, fighting leads to the hottest sex imaginable, and means there’s no excuse too petty to pick a fight over, if they get to “make up.” Sex-starved Sidney in Lolita Lopez’s “Mom’s Night Out” engages in a one-night getaway with her husband, Owen, where they forget all about the draining daily duties of parenthood and rediscover how much they still hunger for each other.

Some of the lovers here are less experienced, such as M. in “Autumn Rain,” by Michael A. Gonzales, and Dean in my story “For the Very First Time.” Each delicately touches on the ways our first time leaves an impression, makes us fall that much harder for the person we’re sharing the momentous occasion with. Even when the characters aren’t actually virginal, when they approach their relationships anew, finding something novel in their partner’s kiss or touch, they can invoke Madonna and feel “Like a Virgin,” only with the bonus of a shared, special history.

As I’ve edited this collection, I’ve been listening to Adele’s achingly gorgeous album 21. Those songs are about lost loves, but they contain all the tenderness you will find here as well, and rest assured, not to give too much away, the tales in Only You have happy, sweet, sexy endings.

I wish you only pleasure in enjoying the stories you’re about to read.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City

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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Be careful what you ask, and ask for

I started a conversation the other night that led in a direction I wasn't prepared for it to go, and it tapped into all sorts of fears and issues I'm not sure I even realized I was clinging to. I don't want to say much more because I wrote an essay about it that I sent out, and even though I've been living in Rejectionville lately, hope springs eternal, and also, some of it I'm still processing, along with a class I took the other day. Both taught me that life doesn't always give us what we're ready for, or think we're ready for, and sometimes maybe a part of us knows we need to hear something that another part of us isn't ready for. I started that conversation and then totally freaked out when it was a lot deeper than I was expecting it to be. I learned that while I can push certain things aside, or bury them so deep I'm barely aware they're there, that doesn't mean they aren't still trapped inside me, and sometimes they are coiled so tightly that once they are unlocked, they boomerang back at me so strongly and forcefully I need every ounce of strength, even when I feel I'm at my weakest, to handle them.

It was a good lesson, even if it meant a lot of tears, and tearing myself down and getting to a very raw place where I had to confront a lot of my assumptions and beliefs and instincts. It certainly wasn't fun but it was one of those moments, like so many in 2012, where I had to step back a little and say to myself, "What are you doing?" I look at some of those in my mind like a movie and I sortof can't believe I was the star of it, and others I look back and wish I could tell that girl that even at the darkest moments, she'll get through them and be a better person for the darkness, and will have a healthier way of coping next time. I can see that process happening, kindof like delayed development, where I'm doing so many things that most people do way earlier, whether it's moving in with someone or certain self-indulgent vices. I'm such a control freak that when something happens that puts me into a position where I have zero control, it's always a learning experience, a way to shake me up when I most need to be shaken. This week I needed shaking, and stirring, and falling, and getting back up again.

Free book BOGO offer for Best Sex Writing 2013 by Christmas Day

Here's the deal: pre-orders help a book's chances to succeed tremendously. By ordering early, you let booksellers know that there's a demand for the book, and they order more. It's not that it's too late once the book is out, but pre-orders go a lot farther in terms of ensuring a book's longevity and sales at places like Amazon. To that end, I'm offering you a deal from today, December 12th, through December 25th at midnight EST. If you pre-order Best Sex Writing 2013 in paperback on Amazon.com, I will send you a hard copy or ebook of any of my Cleis Press titles, which can be found right here. So for the price of $9.01, you get two books; for hard copies, I will be sending them in January as soon as they arrive (I'll wait to order them all until December 26th); for e-books, I will send them sometime in December to the address you provide me with. Just forward me your receipt to bestsexwriting2013 at gmail.com with "BOGO" in the subject line by December 25th at midnight EST and tell me which book you'd like and your mailing address for hard copies and email address for Kindle ebooks (for some reason, I can't send gifts to @kindle.com addresses, so use another address). Below I'm reposting the table of contents.

You will not only be getting 2 books for the price of 1, you'll be doing a good deed for this editor and this series. So, win win, I hope! US only, since I can't afford to send postage overseas. I hope some of you will take advantage of this to lock in the $9.01 rate (it may go up, as per Amazon's whims, I have no control over that). Thank you in advance and if you have enjoyed the Best Sex Writing series in the past, I think you'll definitely enjoy this one and have plenty of food for thought. If you're new to the series, it offers original content as well as reprints from major names in sex writing like Patrick Califia and Carol Queen (also the guest judge) as well as authors like Jonathan Lethem and many others. Thank you very much.



Best Sex Writing 2013 table of contents

Foreword by Carol Queen
Introduction by Rachel Kramer Bussel

Live Nude Models Jonathan Lethem
Can a Better Vibrator Inspire an Age of Great American Sex? Andy Isaacson
Sex by Numbers Rachel Swan
Very Legal: Sex and Love in Retirement Alex Morris
Notes from a Unicorn Seth Fischer
Rest Stop Confidential Conner Habib
When On Fire Island…A Polyamorous Disaster Nicholas Garnett
Cherry Picking Julia Serano
Holy Fuck Jon Pressick
Baby Talk Rachel Kramer Bussel
Dear John Lori Selke
Sex by Any Other Name Insiya Ansari
Enhancing Masochism Patrick Califia
Ghosts: All My Men Are Dead Carol Queen
Happy Hookers Melissa Gira Grant
Christian Conservatives vs. Sex: The Long War Over Reproductive Freedom Rob Boston
Porn Defends the Money Shot Dennis Romero
Lost Boys Kristen Hinman
The Original Blonde Neil Gabler

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Jonathan Lethem article kicks off Best Sex Writing 2013

Best Sex Writing 2013 will be here in, fittingly, 2013, January, to be exact. Stay tuned for a special pre-Christmas promotion I'm running, and if you like the sound of this lineup, please show the book some online love and click "like" on Amazon. Thank you! I'm very proud of and excited about this book and will be posting lots more about it soon. The book features several original pieces, as well as reprints from Playboy, The Atlantic, New York, East Bay Express, Jacobin, Salon, and elsewhere. It touches on nude models, sex toys, polyamory, aging and sex, public sex, BDSM, role-playing, AIDS, sex work, sexual identity, the porn industry and Jean Harlow, among other topics. See my next post for a free book offer related to this one and again, if you want to support this series, a "like" on Amazon and/or rating on Goodreads goes a long way and is very much appreciated. Bloggers and reviewers interested in covering the book, please email bestsexwriting2013 at gmail.com with your publication and mailing address. Thank you!



Best Sex Writing 2013 table of contents

Foreword by Carol Queen
Introduction by Rachel Kramer Bussel

Live Nude Models Jonathan Lethem
Can a Better Vibrator Inspire an Age of Great American Sex? Andy Isaacson
Sex by Numbers Rachel Swan
Very Legal: Sex and Love in Retirement Alex Morris
Notes from a Unicorn Seth Fischer
Rest Stop Confidential Conner Habib
When On Fire Island…A Polyamorous Disaster Nicholas Garnett
Cherry Picking Julia Serano
Holy Fuck Jon Pressick
Baby Talk Rachel Kramer Bussel
Dear John Lori Selke
Sex by Any Other Name Insiya Ansari
Enhancing Masochism Patrick Califia
Ghosts: All My Men Are Dead Carol Queen
Happy Hookers Melissa Gira Grant
Christian Conservatives vs. Sex: The Long War Over Reproductive Freedom Rob Boston
Porn Defends the Money Shot Dennis Romero
Lost Boys Kristen Hinman
The Original Blonde Neil Gabler

Purchase Best Sex Writing 2013 from:

Amazon

Kindle (ebook)

Bn.com

Nook (ebook)

Books a Million

Indiebound (independent bookstores)

Cleis Press

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Saturday, December 08, 2012

Say it anyway

I hate giving feedback on other people's writing. It makes me feel pretentious and self-aggrandizing and obnoxious, like who am I to tell someone else how to write? So I don't, generally. If I like a book, you'll know. If I don't, unless it's a political issue I strongly disagree with, you probably won't. But the other day I came across something in a piece someone had asked me to look at and there was one line, a phrase, really, that offended me. It stayed with me, and while I moved on in my reading, since it wasn't a part of the plot and was truly something that happened in passing, when I was set to reply I was faced with this dilemma: do I say something and risk sounding overly picky or possibly rude, or do I not, and wonder how the person would have responded?

I came to the conclusion that I've come to about a lot of situations in my life this year, which was that I had nothing to lose. Worst case, I don't know, the person never speaks to me again and thinks I'm crazy. I live with so much fear of people not liking me for one reason or another that I forget to ever question whether I really want that person to like me in the first place. Not applicable to this situation 100%, but there was still that fear of someone thinking I'm somehow bad or wrong or mean. Not wanting to be those things is not only unrealistic, since I can't control what other people think of me, but hurts me because in trying to nevertheless make everyone like me, I go against my best interests. I do this so often it's ingrained in me. So anyway, I said what I needed to say as politely as possible and not only didn't I get a resounding "You suck," I got a thanks for pointing out what I did. I hope I remember that next time I'm scared or nervous or fearful about speaking up, no matter who I'm talking to.

Monday, December 03, 2012

Cupcake journalism

I had quite the adventure using the Cupcake ATM at Sprinkles Cupcakes in Chicago last week! First my card was declined but then finally there was victory for me and my chocolate marshmallow cupcake. Click here to watch the video.

Saturday, December 01, 2012

10 sex toy erotica stories for $4.79 in my new ebook Instruments of Pleasure

I've got a short, sexy new ebook of 10 erotic stories for you called Instruments of Pleasure: Sex Toy Erotica and it's for sale for $4.79 for Kindle! If you didn't know, you don't need a Kindle to view Kindle ebooks, you can download it for your laptop or phone. The ebook is also for sale for Nook, iBooks and Google Play. (Yes, if you're a truly dedicated reader and have read every single one of my anthologies, you will have read these before.) My opening story "Like This" is a masturbation exhibitionism and voyeurism story about the only sex toy I own multiples of, the Hitachi Magic Wand! Here's my introduction:
I can't think of a better way to add more fun to sex than sex toys—after all, the word "toy" is right there, and today's sex toys come in all sorts of playful designs, from Hello Kitty vibrators to sparkly harnesses, light smackers to heavy paddles. Whatever you can dream of, you can probably find—or make your own!

The very special stories in Instruments of Pleasure highlight the many ways we use sex toys to make our fantasies come true. Sometimes, there's a lesson involved, such as "Like This," where a woman uses what many consider the "Cadillac of vibrators," the ultra-powerful plug-in vibe Hitachi Magic Wand (or "electric miracle," in the story), to show her lover exactly what she does when she's alone. For others, toys are part of BDSM play, especially spanking, and you can read about the intense strokes of a cane in "Getting It Right" and the power of "The Spanking Machine." The dildo in "A Girl, Two Guys, and a Sex Toy" almost makes it a foursome, while in "The London O," using a pair of remote controlled panties with a built-in vibrator in public brings new heights to the thrill of sightseeing. In "Strapped" and "The Inner Vixen," women take charge, using a strap-on dildo and harness and a whip, respectively, exulting in the power they hold, and the delight their partner gets in being on the receiving end. Other times, rather than adding sensation, we take away a sense, such as the use of a blindfold in "Princess." Without being able to see, the heroine can simply feel. In "The Apiary," there are multiple toys, including a collar and chains, but the main "toy" is a chair, a piece of furniture that can be surprisingly erotic, if you use your imagination.

I hope these stories serve as their own kind of sex toy for you, and inspire you to break out your favorite toy, or perhaps discover a new one. You can never have too many sex toys, or have too much fun with them!


And the table of contents:

Like This Rachel Kramer Bussel

The London O Justine Elyot

Princess Elizabeth Coldwell

Strapped KD Grace

The Apiary Megan Butcher

Undercover Kink Louisa Harte

The Inner Vixen Saska Walker

A Girl, Two Guys, and a Sex Toy Kristina Wright

Getting It Right Teresa Noelle Roberts

The Spanking Machine by Rachel Kramer Bussel

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