Listen to me Friday on Sex Out Loud podcast

This Friday, July 14th at 8 p.m. EST I'll be talking live with host Tristan Taormino on Sex Out Loud podcast about On Fire: Erotic Romance Stories, which comes out Tuesday in ebook form (and August 8 in print and very soon in audiobook) from Cleis Press. I'll be joined by three contributors: Donna George Storey, whose stocking fetish tale "Sensitive to the Touch," opens the book, Angela R. Sargenti, whose "Masquerade" is a very hot vampire erotic story, and Lawrence Westerman, who wrote an incredible femdom BDSM story, "Dreams Made Flesh." And a reminder that through this Saturday, July 15, I'm giving away 15 autographed copies of the On Fire print edition (U.S. only) over at Goodreads, and I do monthly giveaways in my author newsletter open to anyone in the world - the July newsletter already went out, but the August newsletter will have a Women in Lust giveaway.



Listen in then and subscribe to Sex Out Loud in iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts so you can hear us if you miss the live broadcast.

How The Art of Asking led to me talking about Tampa by Alissa Nutting, Morrissey's novel and the Bad Sex in Fiction Awards on LitReactor's Unprintable podcast

I'm back home from California, enjoying being back in my own bed, in my chilly in certain spots but lovely new home, and catching up on blog posts and writing. I had meant to share a fun interview I did recently, and a little backstory on how it happened, and now I am.

This podcast interview was a huge honor, because it's with a podcast and company I greatly admire, and a lesson in Amanda Palmer's book title The Art of Asking, one I've previously put into action as well. It's probably the #1 business/creativity book in my life in terms of the profound effect it's had (close second, or in the running for #1, is Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert). I'm not saying I'm in any other way like Amanda Palmer, who I don't even know that much about beyond reading the book, but I am saying the principles of her approach to asking have stayed with me ever since I read it and I try to remember them when I'm going after something I want, or I'm nervous about making a request, even though it feels utterly right in my heart.

I will save my "why I believe in DIY author self-promotion" rant for another day, but suffice it to say, while I used to wait for opportunities to magically appear in front of me, now I go after opportunities. I feel I owe it to myself and my business, and I believe in my message enough, and my offerings (like my upcoming LitReactor online erotica class, hint hint!) to want to share them with the world, and by "the world," I mean the world beyond people who might already know who I am (like you, my wonderful, patient with my meanderings blog readers). Especially when I become a fan of a podcast, which often feels more intimate to me than reading, because I'm hearing someone's voice, I'm hearing how they ask questions, how they pause and phrase things, how they laugh, I tend to think about what it would be like to be a guest. In many cases, that wouldn't make sense, because it's not about what I do, but when it is, I let that image linger a little longer and if that image like it would make sense, I let myself envision it happening, which makes the ask a lot easier.

Gaining that perspective, that I'm coming from a place of passion about my work and belief in its power and importance and in the case of my teaching, effectiveness, changed my sense of asking for things from being rude and pushy to simply being one creative businesswoman asking someone else to share in a mutually beneficial arrangement, while knowing full well they may say no. I don't invest my ego or my sense of self-worth in the answer; I simply see it as one small step toward following my dreams.

Plus, in 2015 podcasts sort of took over my life. I devoured so many new ones and woke up eager to listen to whatever was on tap that day. I haven't been listening as much in 2016 mainly because I was busy moving and have had lots of deadlines and I can't seem to both write and listen to podcasts. I can listen to music, but podcasts require another level of concentration. So when it came to thinking about promoting my new book and my upcoming class, being interviewed on podcasts seems like a fitting next step. Oh, and I got on Girl Boner podcast by asking too. I'm proof that it works.

TL:DR I got over my qualms about sounding pompous or overly entitled and asked politely if I could be interviewed on LitReactor's Unprintable podcast, which I only recently found out existed but quickly became fascinated by (as a book lover, how could I not enjoy hearing what the hosts are reading each episode, told in a manner that conveys of course we're reading, we're always reading).



They said yes and here's our episode (yes, that's me and Morrissey pictured above, and we talk about and laugh at a snippet from his novel Bad Sex in Fiction award winning List of the Lost, definitely not something teen me would have thought I'd ever do when I saw him in concert).

Not only did they say yes, they put me on with co-hosts Cath Murphy, who also is one half of the must-listen Domestic Hell podcast (their current episode is on "Granny Vajazzling," which should really tell you whether you're immediately intrigued or not), and whose accent I adore, and LitReactor class facilitator and writer Renee Asher Pickup, for the first all-female Unprintable show. It was so much fun, and while at the top it was suggested we go for 30 minutes, we babbled on for an hour and 15 minutes, and I know I could have kept on talking with these wonderful women for way longer.

It was a sprawling, sometimes hilarious, thoughtful discussion, about sexism in book criticism and mansplaining, Morrissey's purple prose, how Tampa by Alissa Nutting was treated by the media, whether the Bad Sex in Fiction Awards are good for writing, the use of pseudonyms, tattoos, and more. For me, it felt like talking to two old friends, even though I'd never spoken to them before save for a very quick Skype call to go over things a few weeks prior.

Again, in case you missed it the first time: It would never have happened if I hadn't asked. Am I saying you'll get everything you ask for just by asking? No, but I am saying that asking is the first step. Being prepared for rejection is part and parcel of asking, and I'll revisit that topic, but for now, I definitely recommend tuning in and you can subscribe to the Unprintable podcast in iTunes. If you like books and reading, I'm pretty sure you'll like it.

So now I will apply the magic of asking again: if you know anyone who might be interested in my upcoming LitReactor 4-week online Between the Sheets erotica writing class, please pass on the info! This will be my sixth time teaching it, and right now I'm preparing for it by researching and interviewing new literary agents, publishers, editors and authors because I aim to make each class even more informative than the next. In addition to all the stated weekly lectures and assignments, I bring students over a dozen exclusive interviews with erotica publishing insiders designed to help you get published and get your publishing questions answered. Plus I've learned so much about what's happening in my industry that I wouldn't have known otherwise, and found great books to read, like Everything I Left Unsaid by M. O'Keefe, which I'm reading now on the recommendation of the agent who sold it, who I interview for the class.

Speaking of which: I love when students come in with questions! But I also appreciate that four weeks is a good amount of time to develop even more, and that's part of the joy of this class: you can figure out what you want to know as you go along. Plus after it's over, you'll get an invitation to my private online group for erotica writing student alumni where I share writing news and resources, and students ask questions and continue the community that's often formed in the classes. The class is limited to 16 people so everyone can receive as much attention and feedback as they deserve. Questions about the class? Email rachelkb at gmail.com with "LitReactor" in the subject line.

6 podcasts that have helped me advance my writing career

Over the last few months, I've become a major podcast listener; almost every day, I listen to some portion of a podcast, sometimes several episodes, and I have no idea why it took me so long to convert to listening to them! I think I was convinced that my mind would wander too much, or that I was too linear to focus on them, or to truly absorb what I was hearing. But over the past few months, I've been listening to podcasts to help me grow my writing career and business, along with reading the work of authors recommended on these podcast, such as Jennifer Lee's excellent Building Your Business the Right-Brain Way: Sustainable Success for the Creative Entrepreneur (want to know more? Here's a great interview of Lee by podcaster Tiffany Han).

While I haven't listened to every episode of all the podcasts listed below, what's been remarkable to me is that even when I've only heard a few episodes, I've learned a lot from them. When I say "a lot," I mean practical steps that I then apply in my daily life and work. Not every episode will completely relate to my job, but another thing that's stood out is how much I can glean from people whose careers differ from mine. Even when the subject is writing, if you peruse the podcast episode offerings, you'll see all kinds of writing: writing books, writing essays, writing fiction, writing blog posts, writing for LinkedIn, etc.

The first podcast I started doing a deep dive into was Raise Your Hand. Say Yes. by Tiffany Han, which I've gushed about before. Most of the people she interviews are artists of one kind or another. Me? I'm not and likely never will be a visual artist. I can barely draw a stick figure. I'm not crafty. But the area where I've learned the most from these guests is about business, and that's an area where I am learning by leaps and bounds. I feel like I'm a very young person soaking it all up like a sponge. The best part is I get to apply these lessons, such as offering an early bird discount for my next Litreactor online erotica writing class. Plus I'm packing to move in January (just a block away, but still a pain) and listening to podcasts is something I can do while I stuff endless books into boxes!

You can listen to the first episode, the most recent one, or just pick which topic or guest leaps out at you. These will likely be of interest to those who aren't writers too, but if you're a writer or creative person of some kind, I especially recommend them. I've highlighted my favorites of the episodes I've listened below, but really, start wherever you want. And let me know what you think!

Beyond the Prose



Sometimes I think people don't want to know the nitty gritty of writing, how many hours of researching it took to craft 800 (or 1,000 or 2,000 or 10,000) words, how much transcribing and digging and cutting and revising and agonizing. But for those who do want to know, host Keysha Whitaker goes there. These are long episodes, and very insider baseball about much of writing, but worth it. I'm looking forward to listening to the episode where she interviews essayist Dinty W. Moore. I especially like that Whitaker shares her own writing ups and downs, including rejections, and encourages listeners to submit their work, but submit it smartly and study their markets like they would study any other subject. The interviews are great, but the shorter updates by Whitaker that start the podcast are perhaps the most inspiring, because they are so honest and relatable.

My favorite episodes

Sharisse Tracey on how she got bylines in The New York Times, Salon and elsewhere
Jennifer Niesslein on her literary magazine, Full Grown People
Lee Gutkind on creative nonfiction

The BinderCast (you can also read about it on the BinderCon website, and if you're in Los Angeles, I encourage you to check out their March conference)



BinderCast is new, which means you don't have to listen long to catch up and stay current! Also: check out BinderCon if you're in or near Los Angeles. It's a conference for women and gender-nonconforming writers happening March 19-20.

My favorite episodes

Roxane Gay and Emily Gould - especially recommended if you blog or write online
Jillian Lauren on memoir and permission


Raise Your Hand. Say Yes.



My favorite episodes

Creativity as an Asset with Jennifer Lee - Jennifer Lee is one of numerous smart creative people I've found via this podcast. I follow everyone who's interviewed because they teach me so much.
Jason Zook, who sold his future - I also bought Jason's book, written when he was Jason Surfrapp (he changed his name as part of his business model), and was inspired by his story and very novel, daring approach.
Todd Henry on honing your authentic voice - yes, yes, yes. Also, yes, the third podcast guest whose books I've bought based on hearing him on the podcast.
The myth of passive income - Brava! Han breaks it down that, sorry, there's no free lunch. There's hard work in pursuit of your dreams.

Solo-Ish (click here to subscribe in iTunes)



My favorite episodes

Host Lisa Bonos' parents' origin story - First, I think it's ballsy of Lisa Bonos, editor of The Washington Post's Solo-ish section, which I've contributed to, and host of the podcast, to interview her parents. But even more, it's ballsy of them to go there and talk about sex and dating and commitment and how they got together in a not-straightforward fashion.
Freezing your eggs - This one was tough for me, because I'm too old to freeze my eggs, and possibly too old, at 40, to get pregnant. But it's an interesting listen (ha ha, Freudian slip, I'm actually listening to a podcast as I type and I wrote "lesson" at first).
Cooking on dates - I've only cooked for people I was already committed to, not when we were still in the getting-to-know-you early date stage. So what's good to cook, and when? This episode explores that.

Write with Impact with Glenn Leibowitz



My favorite episodes

Tim Paige on growing your email list - sometimes I hear the words "email marketing" and want to immediately erase them from the existence of the English language. They sound so corporate and business-speak. But...but but but. Paige actually makes a lot of sense and marketing and branding and reaching readers are topics I'm personally interested in and ones I want to learn about so I can share them with my students.
Sarah Wendell on romance - my boyfriend walked in just as she was saying the words "cock," "pussy" and "arousal" - she breaks down some of the major romance subgenres and does a great job discussing the modern romance market
Sean McCabe on growing his business with writing - I don't count how many words I write a year, but I'm still impressed both with his million words a year and his take on writing.

Writing Class Radio



There's a lot to be amused by here, like the fact that this podcast is sponsored by host Andrea Askowitz's brother, that it has a homespun feel and that it's a podcast of a class, which is a little unusual. But when you dig deep into the stories, they are wonderful and break down the process of writing into its basic parts. I'm linking to Soundcloud because that's the easiest way to link individually, but they are also on iTunes.

My favorite episodes

"The Hardest Thing to Write About" - have tissues handy. Wow.
"What is the Story You Tell About Your Relationship with Your Mother?"
"The Lies We Tell" - I've been a liar and I've been lied to. Haven't we all?

2 recent podcast appearances: Speaking of Sex and Made in '83

I've recently gotten pretty obsessed with listening to podcasts ("obsessed" as in, I try to listen to at least part of one every day), so I was excited to be interviewed recently on two podcasts: Speaking of Sex (the wonderful podcast by sex educators the Pleasure Mechanics) and the Made in '83 podcast. Click on each podcast title or logo below to listen and/or subscribe to each in iTunes.

For Speaking of Sex, I talked a lot about Dirty Dates, my responsibility as an editor of BDSM, how couples can use erotica, whether I agree with the review that called it "kink light," what I hope readers take away, and a little about what I teach my erotica writing students. On Made in '83, we briefly discussed Dirty Dates but mainly talked about sexuality in everyday life, from slut shaming to dating and more.

Free erotica: "Forced Orgasms" by Shoshanna Evers on The Kiss Me Quick's podcast

The Kiss Me Quick's podcaster Rose Caraway has outdone herself with this image involving her, me and a Hitachi Magic Wand to illustrate Shoshanna Evers' story "Forced Orgasms" in The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories. Listen to it free right here and subscribe to her podcast in iTunes or Stitcher. Here's a snippet from the story, and do listen to the whole thing.

From "Forced Orgasms" by Shoshanna Evers

He’d been turned on by images of women all tied up since his teenage years. As far as Ivan was concerned, his sexual predilection toward kink was as natural as his lesbian friend stated her orientation had been; his had been ingrained since puberty. No trauma made him this way. No Freudian issues to resolve.

It was just that if he was going to get hard, the girl had to be tied up. And if the pornography he was viewing ended with the girl tied up with a vibrator still buzzing away in her pussy, he’d practically come in his pants. Forced orgasms. His fetish. His kink.

Want more free audio erotica from The Big Book of Orgasms? Listen to "Pushing Boundaries on Public Transport" by Victoria Blisse and "Book Lover" by Donna George Storey. Want more? Buy The Big Book of Orgasms audiobook of 69 stories narrated by Rose Caraway.

Very popular book fetish erotica - listen free now on Rose Caraway's podcast!

I am a very proud editor today upon seeing that the free podcast with "Book Lover" by Donna George Storey, from my favorite of my anthologies, The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories, is #6 on iTunes' sexuality charts, behind Dan Savage and Sex Nerd Sandra! It's all due to the genius of podcaster and audiobook narrator extraordinaire Rose Caraway, who I wish I could work with on every audiobook because she simply is excellent at her job, both her sexy narration and bringing audio erotica to the masses. I don't know how she does it but I'm thrilled! She's got 68 more hot flash fiction erotica stories for you in The Big Book of Orgasms audiobook. You can listen to more of her by subscribing to her podcast The Kiss Me Quick's on iTunes, and get another The Big Book of Orgasms freebie with "Pushing Boundaries on Public Transport" by Victoria Blisse. Also through April 30th you can get the Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex audiobook for only $3.99 when you buy the Kindle edition for $1.99. More from me and Rose very soon too!

My dishwashing fetish story "Doing the Dishes," podcasted

Thank you to the amazing and wonderful Rose Caraway, narrator of the Gotta Have It audiobook, for bringing my story "Doing the Dishes" to life in podcast form, free! This is a favorite story of mine and one I'm definitely including in my first erotic short story collection, to be published by Cleis Press.

Reading in bed

Because I need another project (not!), I'll just say that sometime in 2008, I'm going to start podcasting, mostly recording some of my erotic stories, some commentary. Who knows? I just ordered a recorder, and I tend to have insomnia, which I'm hoping to parlay into something useful. First, I must finish my novel. I will post more about that arduous/exciting/crazy process when I'm done. It's intense, and will be awesome when it's done. Right now, I'm kindof a space case, forgetting essential times/dates/places/information, brain on total overload. Not just because of the novel, but I'm working on getting my life organized overall so 2008 can be an even better year than 2007 and I am not quite so crazily stressed. So there's my little update. I also cannot recommend enough to any writer to immediately read The War of Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle by Steven Pressfield. My friend Wendy Spero recommended it to me and it's been truly invaluable in numerous ways.