A free book on Black Friday? Enter my giveaway on Facebook to win Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex

Like me, your inbox is probably inundated with Black Friday sales. I love a good sale too, but with Thanksgiving this week and me feeling truly grateful that I get to live this life and keep on editing books that I'm so proud of, I wanted to offer something back. So I'm giving away 5 copies of my first "little" (in size) book, Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex on my Facebook page. There are only three requirements: a) that you're in the U.S. (I'm not rich, so can only afford to send books via media mail in my country) b) that you subscribe to my monthly newsletter and c) that you leave a comment on this Facebook post with the email address you've used to subscribe to my newsletter.

Not a subscriber to my newsletter? You can subscribe on the left-hand side of my blog (lustylady.blogspot.com if you're reading hit elsewhere) or on my Facebook page (click on "newsletter signup") or on the left-hand side of rachelkramerbussel.com.



The giveaway ends at 11:59 pm EST tonight and I will be contacting the winners in the morning so I can send them their books! Good luck!

I hope you are feeling thankful this year, even if it's in small doses. I have strived hard to make gratitude a daily, deliberate part of my life this year, and along with that, I've tried to figure out ways to change the parts of my life that I don't like. It's not always easy, and sometimes there are curveballs thrown at me. For instance, in January, I'll be moving for the fourth time in four years. Do I want to? No. Will it require time and money that could have been invested back into my business? Yes. But is there anything I can do about it? No, and since I live by the Serenity Prayer, I am simply pulling out the packing tape today and getting a head start on packing up what will turn out to be mostly books, along with clothes and other important items. The upside of moving so often, especially after having lived in my convenient Williamsburg, Brooklyn apartment for 13 years, is that I care less about "stuff" in general and more about the specific things that matter. It gets easier to pare down each time. I've gifted hundreds of books to friends, and gotten to share in the delight of them reading one I liked (or, in some cases, never wound up reading). I got serious with myself about what items I wanted to keep and which I didn't.

Out of all the things I've read about gratitude, this post by the wonderful Latham Thomas of Mama Glow, "My Home Burned Down Before Thanksgiving & I Am Still Thankful" spoke to me the most. Read it and treasure people, health, love, humanity, not things. Yes, it's a paradox: this post is mainly about giving away a thing, and I make a living by crafting things (books) I care deeply about. But I care about them differently now after my moves. I know that they can be a burden as well as a blessing. Books have taught me almost everything I know about life, but they are not life itself. It's a good lesson to remember.

Thanksgiving sex I'm thankful for

This week's sex column is all about sex and gratitude and Thanksgiving. With a smidge of politics:

Firstly, I'm grateful to live in a country where homosexuality and abortion are legally protected — for now — and to have received decent, though not perfect, sex education.

Now, for the personal blessings. Unlike the Duggar family of reality TV show 19 Kids and Counting, I don't believe saving sex for marriage is the key to happiness. Instead, I'm convinced all my previous hookups, dates and relationships have shaped me into who I am today. They weren't all positive, but they did each teach me valuable lessons.

I'm truly grateful that while attending CatalystCon I got one of those magic career-boosting emails asking me to write this column, which in turn has brought me to Philadelphia a few times and given me the chance to explore a city that's so near and yet so far (about an hour and fifteen minutes by car, or, for this non-driver, four hours by public transportation).

So much of my sex writing career has happened that way, though in 2015, I plan to set goals and push myself to pursue new opportunities, including writing, editing and teaching, but this year, many of them came to me. I've learned that you never know how long a column will last, so as I cook up new hot topics (and welcome your suggestions at rachelkb at gmail.com with "City Paper" in the subject line), I'm grateful for it in the here and now, however long it lasts. Writing a weekly column requires a lot of planning as well as being able to respond to the news as it happens, and that's something I look forward to doing into the new year.

10 things about my trip to LA

1. It was 80+ degrees when I arrived.

2. I've been waking up in a really sunny room and then am "cold" when I go outside and it's a little breezy.

3. I met an adorable 1-year-old and hung out with her going up and down stairs and throwing pool balls and got told I'm going to be a good mother by three separate people.

4. I tried on black and gold heels at Fluevog and a very kind fellow customer whispered to my friend that they were a lot cheaper at Zappos.

5. I took a bath today and read Marian Keyes' This Charming Man - coming to the end of this 550-page novel about domestic violence, alcoholism, cross-dressing, family and love. And Irish politics. I adore her writing.

6. Yesterday I got dropped off at the Arclight movie theater...the wrong one. Was like the Brooklyn/Manhattan mixup all over again. The upshot was I got to hang out with my aunt and cousins and watch Jeopardy! and eat pizza.

7. I looked at a ton of old photos, including my grandmother back in the day looking super glam, my mom and uncle when they were little, me when I was 8 or 9.

8. Today I visited the Sprinklesmobile, the tricked out Mercedes van that Sprinkles Cupcakes uses for special events. Video TK on Cupcakes Take the Cake.

9. I am in a mall (Beverly Center) and it's kindof like my youth spent in New Jersey malls, but different because I'm an adult and actually know how much I have to work to earn enough to buy anything (got tights because my bare legs are cold).

10. Andrew Sullivan mentioned and linked to my Daily Beast sex trends article!