Fear and trembling and kinky age Mommy/boy play at Bedpost Confessions

Much catching up in the last two days of the year, so to summarize: I was so scared of doing Bedpost Confessions I put off finalizing what I would read til beyond the last minute. I half hoped the organizers would tell me not to do it, or that I'd be too sick to speak (I got a huge cold upon arriving in Austin but rallied for my writing workshop and Bedpost). I couldn't fathom what had prompted me to want to do it, save for the fact that the three-year-old event was uber-popular and I wanted to be part of the cool kids. I wound up going with my original long draft of my age play essay that was published in Salon and Best Sex Writing 2013, the version I wrote while on vacation in Honolulu only two months after the OkCupid turned age play date happened. If I'd known that reading erotica was permitted, I'd have gone with my strength.

But I got there in time for sound check and was amazed and awed at how welcoming and professional the setup was. These were women who know how to do a reading series right. For a second, I wondered what my fledgling In The Flesh Reading Series could have been if I'd been as committed as they are. The truth is, I almost forgot I used to run a reading series. I think I blocked it out because by the end it was so arduous and I worried I'd lose money each month, plus I was stuck in an easy but demoralizing job where I didn't get a raise the entire seven and a half years and felt like I was stagnating. But in Austin, people thanked me for running In The Flesh, said it inspired them and they remember it fondly, which made me remember it in a new way. It was a fancy stage, with two microphones and multimedia and a huge crowd who laughed where I wasn't expecting laughter, who waited patiently through my fear and shaking. I was humbled and honored and glad I did it, as petrifying as it was. Retelling that story also made me grateful that I'm what feels like a lifetime away from that girl, save for the wanting a baby thing. Clock is ticking so loud I often can't hear anything else. But that era of my life where I was seeking and searching and desperately dating and look for love in the wrongest places I could? It's all faded gently into the background of this new beautiful life where we are almost as different as two people could be, but have still merged our lives and homes together in a way that sometimes makes me pause and wonder how I got so lucky. You can listen to my attempt at storytelling here and subscribe to the Bedpost Confessions podcast on iTunes here.

Greetings from Austin, see you tonight at Bookwoman and Thursday at Bedpost Confessions!

Hello from Austin! I hope you'll join me or let your Austin friends know about my 2 events here this week, the erotica writing workshop tonight, Tuesday, November 19th from 7-8:30 at feminist bookstore Bookwoman at 5501 N Lamar Blvd A-105 ($15/person). Call 512-472-2785 to register or you can do walk-in registration too. Many thanks to do512.com, austintexas.org, The Austin Chronicle and CultureMap Austin for listing it.



Then Thursday night, November 21st, I'm expanding on my age play story at Bedpost Confessions, which sounds like a huge event and which I'm fairly nervous about, since I usually do better revealing those kinds of things behind the shield of my laptop screen, but I'm excited and think it builds character to do the things you're scared of. Bookwoman will be selling my books there too! It's the 21st at 8 at The North Door, 501 N I-35, Austin, TX 78701. Tickets are $10 at the door.



And a few fun photos from Austin so far, I arrived on Sunday and checked out the East Austin Studio Tour, which I highly recommend, and, of course, a bingo hall:




Fosters Tree - this was amazing, made with 9 miles of stainless steel!






I saw some little kids deconstructing one of these and thought it was allowed, like interactive art, until I saw them get reprimanded.


blue elephant behind Up Collective


We didn't win but I still had the best time playing bingo amongst what seemed like semi-professionals, with computers and words I didn't even know, though I liked that kids were allowed too!

Albuquerque and Austin, here I come!

I'm flying out to Albuquerque on Saturday night so I can spend Sunday, my birthday, there, and you can read more about that in the "Shush!" issue of TueNight. Very excited for sun and art for a week in New Mexico, and to meet the staff of Self Serve at Tuesday night's erotica writing workshop (7:30-9, you can still sign up on their site!). Speaking of Albuquerque, thank you so much to Weekly Alibi for this glowing review of The Big Book of Orgasms:

Keep reading, and you will find gay, lesbian, and bisexual groupings alongside the hetero hook-ups in long-term relationships, Dominant/submissive relationships, ex-relationships, and no relationships—casual and free. Writers Suleikha Snyder, Sinclair Sexsmith, Elizabeth Coldwell, Bussel herself and many more put into words the dirtiest thoughts of exquisite pleasure.

The stories are short, so choose your hand or vibrator speed carefully. Don’t be surprised when you have to dog-ear pages to return to your favorites. You’ll want to revisit these stories. Or should I say—you’ll want to come again.

I'll be exploring Albuquerque and Santa Fe, then heading on to Austin...

Where on Tuesday, November 19th, from 7:30-9, I'll be at one of my favorite feminist bookstores, Bookwoman, to teach Erotica 101. Call 512-472-2785 to register.



Then I'll be telling a true sex story at Bedpost Confessions on November 21st, also in Austin.

If you know anyone in Albuqeruque or Austin, please let them know! Also on the horizon: December 3rd erotica writing workshop at Nomia, 24 Exchange Street, Suite 215 in Portland, Maine, from 7:30-9. You can sign up for that one by calling 207-773-4774. It's limited to 18 people and is filling up fast, so if you are considering going, please sign up early Details on all my events are on my website, where you can also sign up for my newsletter on the left-hand side. Thanks!

Free book offer and my erotica events in Northampton, San Francisco, Albuquerque, Austin, New York and Portland, Maine

Details on all my upcoming events in Northampton, Massachusetts, San Francisco, Albuquerque, Austin, New York and Portland, Maine are in my latest newsletter, where you'll also find a free book offer for fans of The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories. I'm being told that the December 3rd Portland, Maine workshop is selling briskly, so if you're interested, sign up as space is limited to 18 people, so please call 207.773.4774 to register. Also, just announced after my newsletter went out is a big January 3rd reading at a place I've wanted to read for years: The Museum of Sex for Between the Covers! Sign up to receive my next newsletter on the left-hand side of rachelkramerbussel.com.

My feminist sex toy store and bookstore tour: Northampton, San Francisco, Albuquerque, Austin and Portland, Maine

I wanted to put all my upcoming events in one post, and highlight the feminist sex toy stores who are community forces and who help keep people like me in business by providing spaces for events such as erotica writing workshops and lots of others. I had a fabulous time teaching at The Tool Shed in Milwaukee, where the only reason I resisted buying a toy was because I didn't want to subject it to the TSA in my carry-on luggage. I did buy this card though to send to my boyfriend, who told me it was the best card ever, so that worked out well:



So here's what's coming up (the workshop description is the same for all Erotica 101 workshops), with a few assorted other events like Bedpost Confessions and Literary Mischief in NYC thrown in, and I am looking into online classes, but first am focused on making these a success. If you know anyone in these cities who might like my events, please let them know.

November 3, 6-8 pm
Erotica 101 in Northampton, MA
Oh My Sensuality Shop, 122 Main Street, Northampton, MA, 413-584-9669
official Facebook page
Rachel Kramer Bussel, professional erotica author and editor of over 50 erotica anthologies, such as The Big Book of Orgasms, Women in Lust, Please, Sir and Please, Ma'am, will take you through the ins and outs of modern erotic writing. Learn how to get started, find your voice, and write against type. You'll discover how to incorporate everyday scenarios as well as outlandish fantasies into your writing, and make them fit for particular magazines and anthologies. She'll also talk about submitting your work and keeping up with the thriving erotica market (including anthologies, ebooks, magazines and websites). Whether you're writing to that special someone, penning longtime fantasies, or want to earn cash for your dirty words, this workshop is for you. Please bring paper or writing implements or a laptop to use for in class writing exercises. A bibliography with erotica resources will be provided.
$20/person, please call 413-584-9669 to reserve a seat.

November 6, 6:30 pm
Free reading from The Big Book of Orgasms in San Francisco
The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories (Cleis Press) is editor Rachel Kramer Bussel's latest and greatest erotica anthology. This climactic collection of pansexual short shorts are perfect for bedtime reading to a lover or on your own. Whether getting off from exhibitionism, voyeurism, hot wax, dirty talk or a very special pair of blue jeans, the characters in The Big Book of Orgasms go all out for the Big O. From vanilla to kinky, and everything in between, there's something for all erotic readers here. At this special reading, Bussel will be joined by contributors Lily K. Cho, Malin James, Crystal Jordan, Sinclair Sexsmith, Donna George Storey, B.D. Swain, Virgie Tovar, Jade A. Waters and Xan West for an evening of steamy stories that's sure to leave you hot and bothered.
Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street (at Sacramento Street), San Francisco, CA 94109, 415-345-0400

November 12, 7:30 pm
Erotica 101 in Albuquerque
$20/person, $35/pair. Register at link below.
Self Serve Toys, 3904B Central Ave SE, Albuquerque, NM 87108, 505-265-5815, info at selfservetoys.com

November 19, 7-8:30 pm
Erotica 101 in Austin
official Facebook page
$15 per person. Call 512-472-2785 to register.
Bookwoman, 5501 N Lamar Blvd A-105 Austin, Texas 78751

November 21, 8 pm
Bedpost Confessions
I will be sharing a sex story at this three-years-running sex and storytelling night! $10 at the door.
The North Door, 501 N I-35, Austin, Texas

November 26, 6-8 pm
Literary Mischief with Slash Coleman. $10 admission.
Loft 227, 227 W. 29th Street, New York

December 3, 7:30-9 pm
Erotica 101 writing workshop
Nomia, 24 Exchange Street, Suite 215, Portland, Maine
Seating is limited and we expect this workshop to fill up FAST!
Please call the shop at 207.773.4774 to reserve your spot! $20 per person.

Austin, Texas Erotica 101 writing workshop

Yes, I'm coming to Austin in November for this November 19th erotica writing workshop at feminist bookstore Bookwoman, and then to tell a story on November 21st at Bedpost Confessions. If you know anyone in Austin looking to try their hand at erotica, please let them know. Thanks!

Erotica 101 writing workshop
November 19, 7:30-9 pm.

Professional erotica author and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, editor of over 50 anthologies, including The Big Book of Orgasms and Serving Him: Sexy Stories of Submission, will take you through the ins and outs of modern erotic writing. Learn how to get started, find your voice, and write against type. You'll learn how to incorporate everyday scenarios as well as outlandish fantasies into your writing, and make them fit for particular magazines and anthologies. She'll also talk about submitting your work and keeping up with the thriving erotica market (including anthologies, ebooks, magazines and websites). Whether you're writing to that special someone, penning longtime fantasies, or want to earn cash for your dirty words, this workshop is for you. Paper and writing implements will be provided or you can use your own laptop. $15 per person. Call 512-472-2785 to register.
Bookwoman, 5501 N Lamar Blvd A-105 Austin, Texas 78751

What being in Texas for Hurricane Sandy has taught me about life

The first thing I did this morning after pulling back the blinds to find not warm ways of sunshine streaming through the window, but light and chill, was check my flight status. It's a silly little game, because those can and do change at any time, but it's what I do, to try to get information, to try to figure out if I'll get home after what's become a two-week Texas trip. Anything I think about being here is tempered by the knowledge that so many have died, crushed or drowned, are without power, soon without gas. I have people who've told me their neighborhood looks like nothing happened, others frantically charging their phones anywhere they can, my pregnant friend without power and not able to contact me too often.

The next site I checked is the MTA, where there aren't so many ominous "Suspended" lines, but the ones I will need to get to my boyfriend are not running. He warned me not to come visit, that I wouldn't like the cold and dark. Surely not, but I don't care. What I've learned this week is that all the stuff that's littering my home, that I think I care about, is pointless. I can live out of a suitcase. I can earn a living from my laptop.

I've had some amazing discussions about just that, about this living I'm earning, or not earning, about whether I undervalue myself, don't truly believe I'm worth it. We've talked about Manisha Thakor and Money Zen and next on my to read list is Ask for It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want. I've found a new cafe, one with free coffee refills and delicious frittatas and friendly customers and staff to park myself at to work, but I've been forcing myself to ask some deeper questions: why do this at all? What's the next level? Why do I talk myself out of so many goals? It's National Novel Writing Month, aka NaNoWriMo (want inspiration instead of my doom and gloom? Multiple NaNo winner Marianne Kirby has it in spades!) and every time I contemplate it, it's like fear thickens in my blood, tells me stop, you won't make it, you suck, you failed once so of course you'll fail again. It tells me so many things, so loudly, so repeatedly, I have trouble hearing any other voices, but the peace and quiet and warmth here in Texas have helped with that. On the opposite end of my crazybrain, I have 2 novel ideas and 1 novella idea, plus an actual contract for a short story collection I should be making my number one most urgent priority.

Yesterday I worked, hard. Instead of waiting for Very Cool Travel Site to get back to me, I submitted the piece to Huffington Post. I got almost done with an anthology that I've been almost done with for a while. I wrote a short story. I cupcake blogged. I learned that my bank has a kickass app for depositing checks from your phone. I brainstormed. I read Grace Coddington's amazing memoir, making me feel better about lugging the giant galley in my suitcases. I surrendered any semblance of control and any travel savvy I ever thought I had. I learned not to travel broke, and it's made me ask myself some hard but necessary questions as I go forward, as I embrace what is possible, as I figure out whether this is all just a hobby or something I can sustain. It's not something I can answer in a day or a week, but I am grateful to have been safe and warm and cared about this week, to have been given the chance to ask myself those questions, and plenty of other ones, and know that I have so much more growing up to do, no matter what my age is.

Feminist bookstore I want to move into: Book Woman in Austin

Really: just give me a cot and I'll give up the apartment I can't get home to anyway and move in to feminist bookstore Book Woman in Austin. It is amazing! I went there last night to see my friend Shanna Katz, sex educator and author of Oral Sex That'll Blow Her Mind, give a workshop about sexuality, complete with vulva puppet. She was hilarious and informative and in half an hour I learned a lot and had a lot to think about, like the compliment sandwich. My friend Kambri Crews is reading from her memoir Burn Down The Ground on Friday.

I saw that the Delicious Issue (shouldn't every publication have one?) of Curve is out with an article I wrote about Cupcake Royale owner Jody Hall. I discovered on their new books table two by Naomi Shihab Nye I'm coveting, plus Transfer which I'm already a fan of, and the memoir Not Quite Nirvana: A Skeptic's Journey to Mindfulness by Rachel Neuman, which I obviously need to read, not just because she shares my name. I discovered the very first anthology I was ever published in, back in 2000, Best Lesbian Erotica 2001. I was just in awe of the entire place and impressed that while feminist bookstores have come and gone, this one is around and thriving and putting on amazing events. They had a bunch of my erotica books and a healthy sexuality bookcase too! I'm loving it here so much that am half tempted to try to talk my guy into moving here. So yay Austin!


me with ten of my books (and Suite Encounters was on the shelf below)


Shanna Katz with vulva puppet



If you're in Brooklyn and can get out safely, BCakeNY in Prospect Heights is giving out free cupcakes from 5 to 6 today. I will be giving out free candy to trick or treaters at a friend's in Austin!

I want your Frankenstorm sex diary and Austin events with StrangeLove and Shanna Katz

I'm in sunny, beautiful Austin, and will soon have photos and video clips from my wonderful erotica panel at Paramount Theatre (felt so fancy!) with Pat Tucker at the outstanding Texas Book Festival. The organizers went above and beyond and have even been helpful to those of us stuck in Austin due to Hurricane Sandy. I am still editing weekly sex diaries at Daily Intel and I'd love someone who's in the eye of Frankenstorm to write one starting today and cover Frankenstorm sex. Email me at sexdiaries at nymag.com and I'll send you details. Did you know 70% of Americans have had sex during a thunderstorm or tornado? Find out the storm/sex connection at Buzzfeed Shift.

Below are two fun events in Austin and as long as I get home in time, I'll still be at Williamsburg, Brooklyn sex shop Shag reading Cheeky Spanking Stories to you in the dark.

Tonight the band StrangeLove (stream their music free at their site!) perform at 12:30 a.m. at Saxon Pub at 1320 South Lamar Boulevard, Austin.

Tomorrow, October 30th at 7 pm, hear Shanna Katz give an oral sex workshop at feminist bookstore (remember those? they still exist but need your support!) at Bookwoman, 5501 North Lamar Boulevard, Austin. Details:

BECOME AN ORAL SEX AFICIONADO

You can’t be a superstar sex partner until you’ve mastered the subtle art of cunnilingus. For starters, you need to get your timing down, learn what licks feel good and how to be sure your partner is truly enjoying your efforts. Luckily, Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind teaches all this and a whole lot more.

Whether you’re just getting started or are practically an oral expert, this book has just what you need. It’s packed with tips and techniques to improve those tingling tongue moves and features tastefully erotic photos of positions perfect for oral pleasuring.

Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind is far more than a set of skills. It explains how cunnilingus helps you feel connected with your partner (whether you are the giver or the receiver) and how to enrich that experience.