CatalystCon West is here - see you in Los Angeles!

I've been a whirlwind of activity since I got to the West Coast on Friday night, so if you want to see photos and little updates, you can follow me on Instagram (rachelkramerbussel) and Twitter (@raquelita) and Tumblr. Today I'm heading to Los Angeles and then you can get all the details of my other events at my website (one update I have to add there is the Portland Public Library 9/24 Banned Books Week talk is now 6:30-8:30 pm). I'll be doing events in San Francisco (9/15), Portland, Oregon (9/18), Portland, Maine (9/23 & 9/24), Chicago (9/28), Milwaukee (9/30), New York (10/24) and my first online only erotica writing class, an in-depth 4-week workshop you can take at your schedule anonymously anywhere in the world, starts October 16th via LitReactor. That class has a max of 16 people and is almost half full, so check it out and if you have questions, you can ask me at rachelkramerbussel at gmail.com with "LitReactor" in the subject line.

But what I wanted to tell you about is CatalystCon, which starts tonight with its film series showing the documentaries Slut ("'Slut: A Documentary Film' features the stories of girls and women who have been the victims of sexual bullying and slut shaming in the United States and Canada.") and Lady Valor: The Kristin Beck Story ("In Lady Valor: The Kristin Beck Story, former U.S. Navy SEAL Christopher Beck embarks on a new mission as Kristin Beck. Kristin’s journey in search of the American ideals that she protected have a whole new meaning as she lives her life truthfully as a transgender woman."). I've attended and participated in I believe 4 CatalystCons so far, 3 on the East Coast (held in March) and 1 on the West Coast. Every time, I've been so utterly impressed by the content of the workshops and panels, the care taken to be inclusive and welcoming, especially of sex workers and those of non-mainstream sexualities, and to present a smart, nuanced, powerful event that I walk away from energized. Every time. The energy is palpable and I believe it's in large part because organizer Dee Dennis and her team pull from a wide range of sexuality communities. CatalystCon isn't about just one thing, yet the umbrella topic is sexuality. The tagline is "Sparking communication in sexuality, activism and acceptance."

Going to Catalyst has helped me get toward the place that I see my role in the erotica and sexuality communities. I didn't and don't really think of myself as a traditional activist, but what I'm passionate about is my genre, erotica, and helping people get published and realize the full potential of their desire to write erotic material. I've grown into teaching and am so honored by the groups I get to work with, like the one Tuesday night in Seattle who blew me away with their helpful comments to each other and overall support and willingness to share information and resources. I've made wonderful connections at Catalyst, and with most people I meet there, there is already some baseline framework of how we either know each other or know people in common, or have commonalities of what our interests are. I don't mean that at all to sound like it's cliquish, but rather, the opposite. People go to Catalyst because they have an interest in sexuality and want to know more.

Before I tell you about the two workshops and two panels I'm doing, I want to tell you a little more about what makes this conference so special. Firstly, there are three meetups tomorrow before the keynote: a shy/newbie meetup, a sex worker meetup, and a networking meetup. How cool is that? I am so impressed with all of those, and if I am still able to think after teaching for 6 hours, I plan to hit up the networking one. There's morning yoga ("downward doggystyle") taught by the wonderful Stacey Swimme (I saw wonderful because she's a friend I admire and think is awesome, though I didn't even realize she taught yoga until just now). There are panels on everything from "Fantasy Girls: The Perils Women Face In Geek Culture" to "Infidelity Is More Than Cheating," Living With An STI" and "Sex & Parenting: Sex Positive Parenting in a Sex Negative World." The closing keynote plenary address is by the women of Club 90, Annie Sprinkle, Candida Royalle, Veronica Hart and Veronica Vera, stars of "The Golden Age of Porn." And so much more!

Here's where I tell you what I'm up to, and I wouldn't be on a marketing panel if I didn't give you links to all the panelists. I did these two extended workshops at CatalystCon East in March and have to tell you that I've thought of them often because the people attending CatalystCon have a lot of passion for what they do and stories to tell, fiction and nonfiction. So far it's the only place I've taught my Sex Writing 101 workshop (though I hope to teach it elsewhere) and it's great to have 3 hours to really dig in to these topics. I hope to be sharing more of their work and am looking forward to the workshops and panels. Follow my marketing panelists on Twitter at @cunningminx, @ReidAboutSex and @charlieglickman and my erotica panelists, whose book covers you can see below and who'll be selling and signing books right after our workshop, at @shawnajkenney, @JoanPrice and @rebekahwsm.

See you at Catalyst. Come say hello! I'll be going to as many panels and events as I can (I have learned the hard way not to skip panels unless there's a good reason cause you miss out on a lot). And I know so many wonderful people who will be there: erotica writer Stella Harris, who I read with last night at She Bop, erotica writer Olivia Archer, who wrote "Kitchen Slut" in my anthology Hungry for More, blogger Lori of Kink, etc... and tons more awesome people. Can't make it? Follow the #ccon hashtag on Twitter (and each panel has its own hashtag), follow Catalyst on Facebook and stay tuned to their website for the announcement about CatalystCon East, which will happen soon.

September 12, 9:15 am-12:15 pm
Erotica 101 writing workshop, Los Angeles before CatalystCon
In this three hour workshop Rachel Kramer Bussel, professional erotica author and editor of over 50 erotica anthologies, such as The Big Book of Orgasms, Cheeky Spanking Stories and Serving Him: Sexy Stories of Submission, will take you through the ins and outs of modern erotic writing. Learn how to get started, find your voice, and write against type. You’ll discover how to incorporate everyday scenarios as well as outlandish fantasies into your writing, and make them fit for particular magazines and anthologies. The class will also cover branding yourself as a writer, using and selecting a good pseudonym, and using social media to promote your work and do outreach. She’ll also talk about submitting your work and keeping up with the thriving erotica market, including anthologies, ebooks, magazines and websites. Please bring paper and writing implements or a laptop to use for in class writing exercises. A bibliography with erotica resources will be provided. $45 (or $79 with pre-CataystCon Sex Writing 101, see below).
The Westin Los Angeles Airport, 5400 West Century Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90045

September 12, 1:30-4:30 pm
Sex Writing 101 workshop, Los Angeles before CatalystCon
In this three hour workshop, writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel will cover all you need to know about writing about sex, including blogging, first-person essays and journalism. You’ll learn how to ethically write about your love life, what editors are looking for, where to find experts on sexuality topics, and how to stay abreast of current sex news. Whether you’re looking to write a sex blog, column, articles or books, you’ll find out how to pitch, how much money you can expect to make, and how to maximize your editorial opportunities. The class will also cover branding yourself as a writer, using and selecting a good pseudonym, using social media to promote your work and do outreach, and how to pitch stories. Rachel has been a sex columnist for The Village Voice, Penthouse and The Frisky, and has written about sexuality for Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, Glamour, Inked, Salon, xoJane and many other publications. A resource list covering markets for sex-related pieces will be provided. $45 (or $79 with pre-CatalystCon Erotica 101, see above)

**Attendees who would like the opportunity to get feedback from Rachel on one piece of their own writing (3,000 words or less), to be submitted prior to the workshop can purchase this as an add on to either of the above workshops. Fee: $20
The Westin Los Angeles Airport, 5400 West Century Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90045

September 13, 9:30-10:40 am
Shameless Self-Promotion: Marketing 101 for Activists panel, CatalystCon
With Charlie Glickman, Cunning Minx, Reid Mihalko and me (follow along with the hashtag #cconself on Twitter)
Got a sex-positive cause you want to promote but remain unsure how to market yourself, your group or your organization effectively? Got the passion and drive but missing the marketing degree and the communication plan? Join this panel of expert sex-positive educators and activists as they share marketing tips designed to help you gain credibility, generate content and promote your ideas effectively. Attendees will learn how to use basic marketing tools such as speaking, blogging, social media and ebooks to build a following and promote themselves effectively.
The Westin Los Angeles Airport, 5400 West Century Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90045

September 14, 12:30-1:40 pm
Moderating Envelope-Pushing Erotica panel, CatalystCon
Envelope-Pushing Erotica: How Sexy Stories Can Change The World (follow along with the hasthag #cconerotica on Twitter)
Erotica can be more than just entertainment and titillation; it can help redefine what’s considered sexy, give readers an expanded way of looking at sexuality and reach readers in ways nonfiction may not. Each of the authors on this panel approaches the topic from a different angle: Shawna Kenney, as editor of Book Lovers: Sexy Stories from Under the Covers, explores the depths of literary erotica, senior sex expert Joan Price, as editor of Ageless Erotica, demystifies sex over 50, and Rebekah Weatherspoon, whose tagline is “Where The Happily Ever Afters are Always In Color,” as author of BDSM-themed erotic novels such as At Her Feet and Blacker Than Blue. We will discuss what it means to push the boundaries of erotic fiction, the marketplace for erotic books, incorporating diverse types of stories and characters and the meaning of erotica in readers’ lives. Moderated by Rachel Kramer Bussel, editor of over 50 anthologies including The Big Book of Orgasms and the Best Bondage Erotica series.
The Westin Los Angeles Airport, 5400 West Century Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90045


Ageless Erotica edited by Joan Price


At Her Feet by Rebekah Weatherspoon

Bonus for reading all the way to the end: the first person at CatalystCon who asks me for this I Am A Frostitute sticker (that I bought at Seattle's Cupcake Royale) gets it:

My Sex Writing 101 workshop September 12th in LA at CatalystCon and examples from The Village Voice, The Fix, Salon, The Daily Beast, Glamour, Harper's Bazaar

I'm gearing up to teach my Sex Writing 101 workshop ahead of CatalystCon on September 12th, which so far is the only place I've taught it because I think it's the best venue for a 3-hour, intense workshop where people are already generally in the sexuality field in some capacity and have a framework for the types of issues and ideas being discussed. This is a companion post to "How to make money writing about your sex life and 5 times I did." That one was about writing about your personal life, which will be covered in the workshop, but this post is about sex journalism, which will also be covered.



There is also room to overlap both of those in one piece or book, and I'll be highlighting the work of CatalystCon speakers like Joan Price (who's on my September 14th panel on Envelope-Pushing Erotica), Carol Queen (who's excellently blended both personal experience and journalism/advocacy pieces), Conner Habib, a prolific writer about sexuality topics and past Best Sex Writing contributor, Cunning Minx with her podcast Polyamory Weekly and ebook on polyamory (we are on a panel on September 13th on Shameless Self-Promotion: Marketing 101 for Activists). See the full CatalystCon schedule here.

I'll also be highlighting the work of many other people who write sex articles, such as Jillian Keenan, who wrote a Modern Love essay about spanking in The New York Times (yes, that's more of a personal essay, but since then she's gone on to write a lot about related topics in a more journalistic fashion) and a recent piece for Slate about kink as a sexual orientation, my friend Twanna Hines, who parlayed her blog Funky Brown Chick into a column for Metro, and much more.

In a nutshell, just as I think everyone has a personal sex essay in them they can publish and sell, I feel the same about other forms of nonfiction sex writing. I'm not saying everyone should do it, but if you want to, there are ways to mine your own life and the news and craft great pitches. I'll be teaching you how and getting you writing and pitching, and I hope you'll attend this workshop if you're at CatalystCon. Here are 8 examples of my own nonfiction sex writing over the years (please note they aren't all about how people have sex, but also about sexuality and culture and how our sexuality affects the rest of our lives), that I hope give a bit of breadth to the topics you can cover (which are vast, and new ones pop up every day, like the leaked nude Jennifer Lawrence photos):

"A Revolutionary Relationship", The Village Voice - one of my favorite of my columns, which I wrote almost 10 years ago (!!). Here's the opening:

I'm a little nervous when I pick up the phone to call Betty Dodson. After all, I had sex with her live-in partner, Eric, only a few weeks ago. While I know they have a long-term open relationship, that doesn't mean she'll exactly welcome me with open arms, even though she's agreed to the interview.

"Kinky, Sober and Free: BDSM in Recovery", The Fix

"Guybrators! Prostate massagers! Fleshlights! “Louie” and the expanding male sex toy market", Salon

'50 Shades of Grey' is The Subject of a Course at American University", The Daily Beast

"Erotic Lit Your Grandmother Will Like," The Daily Beast

"How to Talk Sexy (and Not Sound Stupid)", Glamour

"The O-Shot", Harper's Bazaar

Ready to write your own, CatalystCon attendees? Sign up for Sex Writing 101 on September 12th!

My senior erotica article at The Daily Beast

I wrote about senior erotica at The Daily Beast in "Erotic Lit Your Grandmother Will Like", featuring Joan Price, Desiree Holt, Michelle Churchill, Cheyenne Blue, Tsaurah Litzky, Suzy Spencer and others - if you like it, I'd love it if you'd click like at the top/spread the word there. My suggested title was "Our Senior Erotica Moment," but I like this title better, and am sure my grandmother would have too. Thank you!

A wonderful night for Best Sex Writing 2012 at my favorite bookstore, Housing Works

What an amazing, packed night at Housing Works Bookstore Cafe last night for Best Sex Writing 2012! I was blown away by the turnout, since, it being New York City, a bunch of other cool readings were also happening at the same time. THANK YOU to everyone who came out, ate cupcakes, asked questions and were so interested in our topic. I hope many of you will submit to Best Sex Writing 2013; the deadline is Tuesday, May 1st, and it's shaping up to be another very smart collection. Here's a recap by Capital New York; I loved that Village Voice staff writer Camille Dodero not only told us how her article "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks" came about, but brought its star up to the stage to give his side.




Housing Works made a sex books table for us!


They also had a special where if you joined Housing Works (which I recommend; I use my membership all the time for a discount) you could get any of these books free: Best Sex Writing 2012 or Taschen's The Big Book of Breasts or The Big Penis Book


Back row L to R: Abby Tallmer, Amanda Marcotte, Ellen Friedrichs, Rachel Kramer Bussel
Front row L to R: Rachel Rabbit White, Camille Dodero, Joan Price
And no, it's not all white ladies in my book nor do I want it to be, so see the guidelines above and SUBMIT! I also very much welcome suggestions and recommendations, and I accept published and unpublished submisisons.

Housing Works Best Sex Writing 2012 reading

Housing Works is my very favorite bookstore I've ever been to. I love all the galleys they have, I love the atmosphere, I love that I often run into people I know, I love that it's a nonprofit and I'm very excited to be hosting such an amazing lineup. The official Facebook invitation is here if you want to let anyone know about this special event with free cupcakes and below the listing are the titles and links, where applicable, of what you'll be hearing, along with some probing questions by me and a Q&A by the audience. See you there!

Wednesday, April 25 at 7:00 pm Best Sex Writing 2012 reading Join Best Sex Writing 2012 editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and contributors Camille Dodero, Ellen Friedrichs, Lynn Harris, Amanda Marcotte, Joan Price, Abby Tallmer, and Rachel Rabbit White for readings from this year's collection of the best journalism and essays about sexuality and a Q&A on wide-ranging topics, include SlutWalks, aging and sexuality, teenagers and sex laws, dating sites for people with STDs, drag shows, men who prefer fat women, and the gentrification of the West Village. Free and free cupcakes. Housing Works Bookstore Cafe proceeds go toward the fight to end AIDS and homelessness. Housing Works Bookstore Cafe, 126 Crosby Street, NYC
B/D/F/M to Broadway/Lafayette
212-334-3324

What you'll hear from (though it's possible I may not be able to resist one last public reading of "Adrian’s Penis: Care and Handling" by Adrian Colesberry):

"Sluts, Walking" by Amanda Marcotte (original to Best Sex Writing 2012)

"Grief, Resilience, and My 66th Birthday Gift" by Joan Price (excerpted from her book Naked at Our Age)

"Latina Glitter" by Rachel Rabbit White

"Dating with an STD" by Lynn Harris

"Guys Who Like Fat Chicks" by Camille Dodero

"Losing the Meatpacking District: A Queer History of Leather Culture" by Abby Tallmer (original to Best Sex Writing 2012)

"Penis Gagging, BDSM, and Rape Fantasy: The Truth about Kinky Sexting" by Rachel Kramer Bussel

"The Continuing Criminalization of Teen Sex" by Ellen Friedrichs (original to Best Sex Writing 2012)

Hi from MOMENTUM

I'm having a wonderful time at MOMENTUM! You can follow what's happening via the hashtag #mcon on Twitter. I've been to panels on sex worker rights, blogging and body image and fat so far. I shot a video for gasm.org with Jamye Waxman, met my fellow November 10th birthday sharer, Best Sex Writing 2012 contributor and Naked at Our Age author Joan Price and lots of others. I also added to my to do list to do a workshop at Self Serve Toys in Albuquerque, who made this Viva La Vibrator sticker.


my awesome boyfriend drove to Virginia; I put my feet up

Sex After 50: The Naked Truth, new column

My latest column, "Sex After 50: The Naked Truth" quotes Naked at Our Age author Joan Price, who's about to go on a book tour, Sugar in My Bowl editor Erica Jong and more on senior sex. If you like the column, there are buttons at the top of it to spread the word - as always, that's much appreciated!



Joan Price is 67 and wants you to know that sex doesn’t stop at 50—or 60, 70 or 80 and 90!

The author of Better Than I Ever Expected is back with a new book, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex (Seal Press), inspired by the many readers who wrote to her asking about how to deal with issues ranging from vulvar pain to breakups, illnesses such as cancer and Alzheimer’s, as well as “dating while older,” erectile dysfunction, divorce, grief, even hiring people for sex or erotc touch. The tone of the book is supportive but realistic; Price isn’t telling seniors to expect to have the exact same kinds or frequency of sex, but instead that if you’re adaptable, sex can continue (with yourself and others) for one’s entire lifetime.

Throughout the book, Price and a series of experts such as Charlie Glickman, Lou Paget, Carol Queen, and Candida Royalle offer tips related to specific queries in concise, practical responses. Price is a big sex toy advocate as well. “When I review a sex toy on my blog, I concentrate on what it does well (or is supposed to do well!), and how well it works from a senior perspective. e.g. It shouldn’t hurt arthritic wrists; it should last as long as we need without overheating or turning itself off, and more.”

Read the whole column

Joan Price on me, Candida Royalle and others not having sex

Naked At Our Age author Joan Price writes on her blog about me, Candida Royalle, herself and other women who are taking a break from sex. I'm so pleased I made this decision; I almost wrote "belated decision," but I was so mired in a certain way of thinking that it didn't even occur to me until there was no other choice, until it was so glaringly obvious that I was looking for love/lust/attention/affection in all the wrong places and had to go all the way back and look for it within myself.

So thanks to the Top Chef and a very crazy November, December and January for leading me to the light! I'm trying very hard to take better care of my health, my home, my finances and resurrect my flagging writing and realized how much all of that energy was being taken away by devoting it to people who I so didn't belong with and vice versa. They didn't take it away, I did, and seeing that so starkly, seeing how I thought I was so empty I should continue to pursue and privilege the most unavailable of people, after a series of extremely unavailable people, well, that was just the kick in the ass I needed.

I repeated those poor choices over and over because they were familiar, easy, because I didn't think I deserved all of someone, so I settled for the tiniest slivers they could offer, for as long as they were interested, which is the subject of another piece I'm working on, but like stopping the sheer wastefulness of time and money I was throwing into In The Flesh with nothing to show for it, I stopped that madness of sex and dating to preserve myself and find out who I want to be. If I ever go back to it, and right now I feel like I'd be perfectly content to not and look into alternative means of procreation, I want to do so as a better person, not as the broken fuckup I was and still, to a large degree, am. I will never be perfect, and I am not striving for that, but I am working on measurable goals so that I can assess how I'm doing, hold myself accountable. I'll be lucky if I'm there in November, but November is where I'm focused, when I can leave 35 behind and hopefully wrap up a year of thoughtfulness and action over things I can be proactive about. Maybe that sounds inarticulate, and the last few weeks have been challenging but I'm 100% positive they'd be way more challenging if I was still engaging in very bad-for-me behavior.

That's why I loved the phrase "crazy girl willing to work on herself" in the Sascha Rothchild Vows profile in The New York Times. As for me, I'm glad it's not too late to save myself, to work on the long and, yes, at times lonely, path to being someone I can be proud of. I was never going to get there by privileging sex and dating over, well, me. In an ideal world, they would complement each other, but I never found that ideal, and maybe I never will. I am okay with that; I'm looking for those ideals within myself, within the things I have the power to change. Other people and their feelings about me are always going to be beyond my power to change, and I finally recognize that. And it doesn't feel like an exaggeration to say that has made all the difference.

Joan Price's hot senior solo sex contest

I interviewed Better Than I Ever Expected author Joan Price way back in 2005 for my Lusty Lady column, and now she's having a cool contest on hot solo sex tips for sex after 60. You can win a copy of her book and Jamye Waxman's masturbation manifesto Getting Off. (via Seal Press)