My January 1st sex column "A good spanking really turns me on" went online a day early, and managed to teach me an important lesson. Lately I've been bursting with ideas for fiction and nonfiction, but less confident about executing them. I get nervous and petrified, and choose to believe the rejections mean I am unfit to write, rather than simply that I need to polish my piece and get it back in circulation and keep on writing and submitting, writing and submitting, repeat every day.
So because I was in a bit of a slump from around my birthday November 10th through the end of the year, I've been doubting myself, especially when it comes to my own words and thoughts. Pieces where I rely on someone else's expertise I can totally handle because they aren't about me. So I cobbled together the spanking column and even though it wasn't "perfect" or what I had hoped it would be, I turned it in lest I turn in nothing and get fired from a magical job that I love.
Well, as tends to happen in my moments of deepest doubt, it turns out that spanking is actually pretty popular, no doubt aided by the stellar choice of a photo. I feel dumb for not knowing this until a few months ago, but I've been told by multiple social media experts that posts with photos do better than posts without them. So thank you, all you spanking lovers who've read and Tweeted and blogged the column, for giving my 2015 a much-needed boost and reminding me that imperfect is okay too. For me, the reality is that a weekly column is a blessing that sometimes feels like a curse. I plan several weeks ahead but sometimes get stuck by my own doubt. I want to cover every possible base and idea and possibility when with only 650 words to work with, you actually have to be very on point and focused and zooming in on your topic. I've got a lot of great pieces lined up, trying to probe many aspects of sexuality, and I'm prepping to start a whole new sex column aimed at a different audience for a publication I'm also honored to work with. Plus other non-sex pieces that I hope to get out there soon, because I always want to have one foot outside the sex world. I'm proud to be a sex columnist and erotica editor and author, but "sex writer" feels a bit too much like "writer who can only write about one topic" to me. So those are my thoughts on this second day of the new year, with the shining blasting through my window, me eavesdropping on the workers drilling outside my bedroom window, and eager to get my brain and words back on track. I wish you many words, spoken, written and read, in the new year.