Email: rachelkramerbussel at


Lusty Lady

Watch my first and favorite book trailer for Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Get Spanked in print and ebook

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Hello Kitty on a porno box cover leaves me speechless

It's Benny Profane's Barbed Wire Kiss (via Viviane's Sex Carnival)

I love you, too, Diet Coke

Inspired by my friend, Judy McGuire, who just had a Diet Coke relapse and boy did she enjoy it

I'm so with her, except I never stopped drinking it so can't really relapse. And I drink from 1.5 liter or 20 oz. bottles usually, not cans. Diet Coke has seen me through SO many huge life moments and big ups and downs it's not even funny. It's so comforting whether I'm hungover or ecstatic or crying or just blase. I pretty much always have some on me, or I'm twitchy. And before anyone sends me those awful forwards about Nutrasweet, don't worry, I know. I like ingesting chemicals, really.

Also, we can add to the law firms which block my website: - gotta say, I love it! The first time I heard that Morrison and Foerster's website was I really thought it was a joke, but it's not.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Orhan Pamuk on writing and freedom

I have to get off my ass and crack open Orhan Pamuk's memoir Istanbul that I bought while I was there, then try some of his fiction. Reading a ton of things at once, not to mention trying to get things written, but this bit really resonated with me, both with the research I'm doing right now, and for any artist, really. I spoke with a comedian I interviewed last night about this very topic in relation to whether one should have more leeway making fun of your own people - what you "can" or "should" say, and what you shouldn't. I'm not going to say that writing about rape fantasies is my reason de etre but I will say that the minute people start telling you to be quiet, to not talk about certain topics, it's a sign, a sign that something you are saying scares them so much they want to shut you up. We don't need permission, at least in this country, to "use our words." It's a given. It's in our Constitution and should be in our blood. But so many of us tiptoe around the truth, trying to make our truths more palatable, especially when we're in some kind of minority and/or have a cause behind us. I think this impulse is what's behind the whole "you're not a feminist, but I am" line of thinking. It's an attempt to control a set of beliefs by owning a word, a way of controlling who talks and how they label themselves, a way of trying to be omnipotent in a world where you feel powerless. I do it too, certainly, try to appeal to everyone, both in my writing and my daily life. I want everyone to like me or think well of me, and sometimes it's not as simple as buying them a cupcake. I have to learn to accept that, to realize that my words are my own, and only my own. I can't squeeze them into someone else's point of view. We all have voices and can use them, we all have words and can use them, and dialogue and connection and criticism are vital to a free society, but when we start telling other people what to say in the guise of progress, something is extremely fucked up.

"Freedom to Write" by Orhan Pamuk, The New York Review of Books

I have personally known writers who have chosen to raise forbidden topics purely because they were forbidden. I think I am no different. Because when another writer in another house is not free, no writer is free. This, indeed, is the spirit that informs the solidarity felt by PEN, by writers all over the world.

Sometimes my friends rightly tell me or someone else, "You shouldn't have put it quite like that; if only you had worded it like this, in a way that no one would find offensive, you wouldn't be in so much trouble now." But to change one's words and package them in a way that will be acceptable to everyone in a repressed culture, and to become skilled in this arena, is a bit like smuggling forbidden goods through customs, and as such, it is shaming and degrading.

Glamour Girls teaser: cupcake porn

A snippet from Tanya Turner's story "Cup Cake" (and fyi, "Tanya Turner" is me). My first attempt at cupcake erotica, but there will be more in my anthology Sex and Candy: Sugar Erotica and I'm sure it's not the last such piece I write.

Glamour Girls: Femme/Femme Erotica

Glamour Girls: Femme/Femme Erotica

It turned out the Mystery Woman knew her way around a kitchen, which I found out quite quickly as I watched her deftly start sorting and counting and planning, her fingers moving nimbly around, as if she'd baked in this very room all her life. She didn't so much take over as take charge, pushing forward like I wasn't even in the picture, except that every few minutes she pauses to give me a small smile or a saucy wink, and I was so amazed at her chutzpah that I just shut up and let her dominate my workspace, sure that she would concoct something sweet and delicious. As I watched her work, I realized that what I truly wanted a bite out of was her ripe, fleshy ass; the way she moved about in her sundress, so sure of herself, efficient without being brisk, made me want to suckle at her tits and rub myself against her. It didn't matter that I didn't know her, that she was almost old enough to be my own mother, that she'd just invaded my "office" and could get me in major trouble with the management, that I was sublimating my own baking dreams to let her work her magic with the ovens. No, none of that mattered as the sweet smell of her cupcakes filled the air, the already-sugar-perfumed room filling with the scent of arousal, of desire, of secrets and magic.

When she offered an outstretched finger to me, painted in a gorgeous lilac frosting, I opened my mouth, savoring the sweetness that seemed to explode right on my tongue, pure sugar. My whole body, not just my taste buds, was alive, supercharged with the goodness of glucose and arousal, and I sucked her finger further into my mouth while keeping my eyes locked on hers. She didn't look away, but instead teased me with her fingertip, sliding it along my tongue, pressing it into my bottom front teeth, urging me to clamp down on it, a hint of things to come. I took a step closer to her, her finger still between my teeth, the tension in the air now inescapable. I let her pull her finger out and she reached behind her, eyes still on me, and came up with another fingerful of frosting, but this time she takes her left hand, the clean one, and ripped my blouse right open, buttons falling, and smeared the sweet confection all over my chest, covering part of one tattoo, getting my best lace bra dirty, but I didn't care. She looked different now, not quite the simple, motherly type, but something more, something raw and animalistic, younger.

And the sexy table of contents (okay, the TOC itself may not be that sexy, but the stories are, I promise!):

1. If You Can Make It There, You Can Make It Anywhere (A. J. Stone)
2. Scary Date (Trish Kelly)
3. Diary of a Lost Girl, Part I (Lori Selke)
4. Poseidon’s Paradise (Kiki Veronika)
5. The Dressing Room (Tara Alton)
6. Zenda (Anna South)
7. Schooled by a Straight Girl (Khadijah Caturani)
8. Dressing Desire (Tenille Brown)
9. Looking, Really Looking, At a Painting (Jessica Melusine)
10. Betty Came (M. Christian)
11. Cinderella’s Shoes (Kate Dominic)
12. Practice Makes Perfect (Joe Bishop)
13. The Crush Party (Michelle C.)
14. The G-String (Jen Collins)
15. Action (Ana Slutsky Peril)
16. The Game (Alison Tyler)
17. Lap Dance Lust (Rachel Kramer Bussel)
18. The Manicure (Nell Carberry)
19. Gumshoe in a Cocktail Dress (Shelley Rafferty)
20. Trash Talkin’ (R. Gay)
21. Alicia (Dahila Schweitzer)
22. Two Girls in a Basement (Cheryl B.)
23. Cup Cake (Tanya Turner)
24. Sugar (Diana Cage)
25. Power Sharing (Tania Britton)
26. Mercy’s Pocket (Tulsa Brown)

Sara Jo Allocco's hot hotel sex

Originally uploaded by saraisloco.
Actually, if you missed it last night at SMUT, which I'm gonna go ahead and say you did since there were about five audience members, you missed a FABULOUS, funny, sexy story from Miss Sara Jo. She and Brandy Barber are going to keep my column filled with anecdotes for many months to come. Kudos to our lovely hostess Desiree Burch for laugh-out-loud stories about guys with one ball and her fabulous stage presence. I'll never think of The Parker Meridian, or its catalog where you can by things like the BED, CHAIRS, and PILLOWS featured in the hotel, in the same way again. Actually, I've never been inside, but now I feel like I have. Sara and Brandy are gonna be hosting The Kissing Booth on June 9th - don't miss it, there will be karaoke and a party.

Gossip Lit night, June 20th

Thanks to GirlyNYC for the tip - I'd heard about this, and now it's on my calendar, an exception to my "no going to readings till your book is done" rule. Also, in looking up Dana, I found another Dana Vachon at So far, on the gossip/reporter front, I've read Paula Froelich's It!, Jancee Dunn's But Enough About Me, and Bridget Harrison's Tabloid Love. Gonna be reading Debrorah Schoeneman's 4% Famous, Ian Spiegelman's Welcome to Yesterday and Tom Sykes's What Did I Do Last Night? A Drunkard's Tale ASAP. Sykes's opens at Siberia, of no-hitting-on-women and other fame, and since I am all about the drunk memoirs, I'm sure I will enjoy it. Then my head will probably explode.

From Deborah Schoeneman's site
June 20: NYC
"Gossip Lit" reading and party with:

- Ian Spiegelman, author of Welcome to Yesterday
- Bridget Harrison, author of Tabloid Love
- Elizabeth Spiers, author of And They All Die in the End
- Dana Vachon, author of Mergers and Acquisitions: A Romance

The Bubble Lounge
228 West Broadway

Update: Schoeneman to Tricia Romano in The Village Voice about Froelich: It's unfortunate the gossipers are getting mad about me gossiping about gossip."

Win $100 worth of sex toys

Sex and a perfect! Deadline is tomorrow:

Men and women love to self love! Lovers and partners find it to be a turn on to watch their partner masturbate. is holding a contest for the top 5 men and top 5 women's stories on masturbation. Write it up! Anything you want! Self love as amusement, foreplay, anything.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Licking the iron

It's been a bit of a whirlwind the last week, definitely not my choice cause I'm perfectly happy to be hibernating and attempting to write/work, but I got to meet some really amazing people. At Tom Zoellner's party, I was so honored that Jennifer Shahade came over to me and introduced herself. I read her book Chess Bitch last fall and even though I no longer play chess at all (overdosed as a teenager on it), we have a lot in common and it was great to meet someone I'd heard/read so much about, and I'm going to be interviewing her for Gothamist. I just found out she wrote a really fabulous review of Neil Strauss's The Game for Bookslut (and we'll both have pieces in the June issue), and I blogged about the New York Times omitting her book's title from her Op-Ed bio. Then at Bridget Harrison's party, I met another kindred spirit, Jessica Seigel, and it turned out that one of her students at NYU had interviewed me last semester for her class on interviewing.

Thursday I ate yummy homemade coconut cupcakes (thanks to the Barefoot Contessa and baker extraordinaire Felicia Sullivan) and met a doppelganger for Elizabeth Elmore. She didn't look exactly like her, but the more she talked, the more her voice and mannerisms reminded me of my favorite songwriter, and it was kindof eerie. I listen to The Reputation almost every day so I should know. Thankfully, the doppelganger took it as a compliment, which it totaly was. I also got to share radio time with the gorgeous and sweetly s Justine Joli. I feel like "shy porn star" has got to be an oxymoron, but Justine makes it work and is so sweet and charming and down to earth it just makes me want to pinch her cheeks. Major thanks to the fabulous Darklady for picking my brain about erotica, femmes, and types.

Friday I got to take the smush around to the park and watch his little face light up with joy as I pushed him. It felt a little odd to have the stroller all by myself, but cool nonetheless. I don't know when or if I'll have kids, but I definitely want to, so taking care of him and having all these baby cards and gifts around for my friends when they give birth this summer makes me happy in a way little else does. I think the smush knows me a little by now too, and it's amazing to see how much he's grown, physically and otherwise, in the week or two between my visits. I left him to go watch Grey Gardens, which I'd seen as a play at Playwrights Horizon. It was bizarre yet entertaining, made more so by the nonstop commentary.

I also got copies of my "new" book Glamour Girls: Femme/Femme Erotica in the mail. It's new in that it just came out, but I worked on it in 2003 and turned it in in 2004 so it feels like a relic from a past life, which in many ways it is, but still, it's a great feeling to hold a book in my hands iwth my name on the spine, my photo on the cover, some tangible, concrete thing for all the effort, especially in a case like this where it's unlikely I'll see royalties. (From me, it has "Lap Dance Lust" and from my alter ego, Tanya Turner, it has my infamous "Cup Cake" story, set in a Magnolia-esque bakery, which I read once upon a time at the late Cupcake Reading Series. There will very likely be two cupcake stories, not written by me, in Sex and Candy, coming out in February. Mine's about cookies, marshmallows, and peppermint patties, but not all at once.) I'm trying to find ways to motivate myself, for little things like individual columns or stories, and bigger projects, and trying to throw myself into it. I can, but I also get overwhelmed, opening up so many documents that I barely know where to start. I do it to myself, and it's probably my biggest challenge to immerse myself in just one thing, to finish a story, or round of editing, or set of quesitons. It's pretty rare, and much more commoon for me to toss a few sentences at some project and then decide to get excited about someone else's book or website or event, rather than my own. I don't want to lose that, because I feed off other people's ideas and I love writing about other people, but the way I've been going about it is fucked and doesn't help me advance or pay off my loans and I think puts me at a disadvantage, says things about me I don't intend. So it's all baby steps and trying to see the big picture but focus on the most insanly minute details, one word at a time.

Speaking of feeding off people's energy, Saturday, after celebrating with my tall friends (Sara Schaefer on having quit her job, and a glowingly pregnant Ellen Friedrichs her birthday), I caught the very end of Adira Amram's solo show, including the video for "Wanna Make Out," in which she licks an iron! It's a fabulous, catchy song, and Adira gave me a CD so now I can listen to it anytime I want and the video is crazy hot too.

Yesterday was largely spent on Metro North and visiting with my family. We went to a very biker-filled restaurant in Connecticut called Down the Hatch, which was quite bizarre. Then I did an interview with a comedian, then got interviewed for a website, right in a row, which made me feel like quite the journalist. Phone interviews usually freak me out, but I'm starting to get used to it more, though I think I will always prefer email. Other great weekend finds: a jewelery-maker in SoHo who is now going to be getting a large chunk of my gift-giving business. I got Ellen a very pretty blue and green necklace that wound up matching her dress. My only problem is picking out which one to get for which person, so I'm going to take GirlyNYC by there for her birthday so she can choose for herself.

So I'm just trying to keep up with anything I can keep up with. Vague but true. In between I'm reading about diamonds, divorce, preventing suicide, writing chick lit, and the like. Books are strewn all over, as is pretty much everything I own, but I'm starting to envision it differently but also realize I have to pick and choose my battles.

Tonight I'm reading at SMUT tonight at 8 at Galapagos. To be honest, it's the last thing I feel like doing, but then again, I never feel like reading. I'm not a performer but a writer BUT the thing is, you can't just write in a vacuum. I feel it's incumbent on me to say yes to any and all readings that invite me, at least until I'm where I want to be in my career. Because you never know who'll be there, who's listening, who might have a hand in your future success. I just do my best not to project my terror, to sometimes hurry it along, or to pick pieces that I really like so I'll sound more assured. I probably will never love doing readings, and at my own, I can sit it out and just be a hostess if I want. But I figure if I'm cranking out stories, like the one I just finished, "Sugar Mama," for my anthology Sex and Candy which I just may be finishing this summer (for the love of writing, PLEASE don't email me about it though, I will notify all contributors as soon as I get the manusript approved), I may as well read them once in a while and hack away at the stage fright.

So that's what happens when I don't blog for a few days on a long weekend. More to say but must run some errands and try to actually be productive which may just mean reading submission and The Heartless Stone in a sunny park for a little while.


Thursday, May 25, 2006

Writing: the agony and the ecstasy

Writing is such a weird thing to do. Weird, yet perfectly natural, but sometimes I think it's designed to make us crazy. We need to write, but it can destroy you, keep you up all night, drive you mad. Or me, anyway. I love it and hate it at the very same time. Fancy that. I can go to something like BEA and thrive on the energy but come home and feel stuck. Confused. Stare at the page and just stare and stare and stare. Read everyone else's books and wonder if it'll ever happen, then when it gets closed back off. I know I have a blog and all that, but sometimes the idea that people beyond my circle of friends, people who I respect, people who I don't even know but who have major power when it comes to publishing, might read my words: scary. Yet, I forced myself this week to push through the fear and try. That's all I can ask of myself. If one more person, though, says some variation of "I don't know how you do so much" I will scream. It's fine, I realize I can't control what other people think, but in my head, it's never enough and it never will be. I can be happy, I can be satisfied, I can be content with what I've done, but enough? Not quite. I'm proud of things I never thought I could pull off. I'm proud that people like Shari and Jami not only believe in me, but want to read at my reading series. I'm starting to think a little bigger than the tiny world I've created with my words, but still, I don't know what will happen and just try to take it word by word. Baby steps, because they are. Sometimes you have to know when to walk away and come back another day, when the computer screen is just your enemy instead of your friend. Fresh air, people, getting out of my head for once. Trying to calm the nerves and jealousy and chatter, all of it, and just be in the moment, even if that moment isn't a writing moment. I feel stronger, and I need to be because so much hell is breaking loose in other areas of my life, I can't collapse under the pressure. I have never loved limbo. I like answers, facts, knowledge. That's why I could not handle law school at all; you were never done. Writing is like that too, you're rarely officially "done," but you have to know when to say when. I'm working on that. Work in progress, just like my favorite people, who are works in progress and aren't afraid to admit it.

Mark Pritchard write a fabulous post about the rewards of writing that I found so spot on:

You know what the real reward is? It's not the fun of doing a reading and having people applaud, though that's great; it's not the ego-boosting Lunch With Your Editor, something that happens maybe once every five years (that's what people probably are thinking when they see "live the life of a writer" -- yeah baby, lunch on the editor!). It's that glorious feeling of having worked all day, through struggling with characters and pacing and dialogue, and you keep at it, and finally you reach a state of grace and finish a story in a burst of energy and inspiration. And then you go outside and look at the sky and feel as if you've just had the best sex ever. That's why we do it.

at least all our eyes are open

Rachel, Heidi and Nichelle
Originally uploaded by La Pauline.
Mine are especially open, I may have done my patented photo-taking eye-opening trick so I wouldn't have them shut. With some of my favorite chicas, GirlyNYC and
Photo by
Pauline Millard

Cupcake bloggers unite

Rachel and Nichelle
Originally uploaded by La Pauline.
Pauline Millard snapped this photo of me and Nichelle at Tom Zoellner's book party last night. This was before the team party crashing. Also, there were no babies at Tom's party, but there was an adorable one at Bridget's. No cupcakes at either, but that's okay. I liked Tom's parting note to the crowd: "Don't buy diamonds."

May 30 at KGB: Prison, Diamonds, Catfights

KGB Non-Fiction Night: Prison, Diamonds, Catfights
85 E4th Street between 2nd & 3rd Avenues
Doors open at 7:00; readings begin at 7:15ish
Hosted by Lisa Selin Davis

David Goewey is the son and grandson and brother of Sing Sing prison guards.He holds and MFA from The New School and has taught creative writing at LaGuardia Community College. His book, The Crash Out: The True Tale of a Hell's Kitchen Kid and theBloodiest Escape in Sing Sing History, is the riveting true story of a 1941prison break from Ossining Correctional Facility that claimed the life of a guard and a local policeman. It skillfully interweaves the story of theattempted escape (a "crash out," as the cons used to call it) with detailsabout the gang wars in Hell's Kitchen and the warden's vain attemtps to create a more humane atmosphere behind bars.

Susan Shapiro Barash is a professor of gender studies at Marymount Manhattan College. She is the author of eight previous books, including A Passion ForMore, Second Wives and Mothers-in-Law and Daughters-in-Law. Her book Tripping the Prom Queen: The Truth About Rivalry and Women is astudy of the mysterious and quietly vicious world of competition amongwomen. She interviewed more than 500 women from all walks of life to form a portrait of the various ways in which women undermine one other in pursuitof jobs, relationships and children. The arena of rivalry can be even morebrutal among women, says Barash, because of the lack of generally-understood boundaries of competition and what she calls the myth of "sisterhood" thatmay actually do more to further the problem than solve it.

Tom Zoellner has worked as a reporter for the San Francisco Chronicle and acontributing editor for Men's Health magazine. He is also the coauthor of An Ordinary Man, the autobiography of Paul Rusesabagina, whose actions duringthe 1994 Rwandan genocide were portrayed in the film Hotel Rwanda. His book The Heartless Stone: A Journey Through the World of Diamonds,Deceit and Desire is being called the "Fast Food Nation" of the diamondtrade. His investigation of America's favorite gemstone took him every continent on the globe but Antarctica. He reported his book from illegaldiggings in Brazil, diamond smuggling rings in Africa, exploration rigsabove the Arctic Circle, the sweltering polishing shops of India, underground tunnels in Australia, advertising offices in Japan, warehouse labs in Siberia, and the halls of the De Beers cartel in London.

The best . . .

Originally uploaded by semyon.
Best American Erotica 2007, that is. Don't worry, I have plenty more to say about Steinbuch v. Cutler and the ridiculous reasonable person standard (I think the standard doesn't really make sense, AND I think Steinbuch's argument fails in today's reality show/tell-all/blog-all/publicity-crazed world), but that's for another time. What's interesting to me personally is that I first wrote about Jessica before I knew her at all, and when I write about the case it's about much more than the specifics of it; it's about what it means to have a blog or a forum, to want to share parts of our lives with other people, friends or strangers.

But anyway, my point was that Jessica is one of my favorite people in the world. That has nothing to do with her book or her blog or any of that, just her. I think that New York can be such a tough city, with everyone sizing everyone else up and judging them, and I'm not immune to that in any way, but I also know that what you read and hear and surmise about people is not always true and Jessica's one of those people I'm really happy to know. I am the kind of person who belabors everything anyone ever says about me, and she's past all that, and I want to learn to be more like her, to not put so much stock in what other people think, good or bad, because it's way too easy to fall into the trap of trying to please your critics or believing the hype people try to foist on you. I can't deal with that and the voices already in my own head. I also think that when I hear people talk about her like she's the scum of the earth that they are clearly projecting something onto her situation. So, to summarize, I am all about defending the naked ladies and sexmongers, but separate from that, I also think Jessica is someone who's sweet and smart, more so than a lot of people (herself included at times) give her credit for.

Lately I am all about gratitude, not the kind you have to force yourself to have, but the kind you just naturally feel when you realize that you are living your dream, even if it's not always pretty or easy or simple. Because in your dreams, everything works out perfectly (well, unless you have crazy nightmares like me), and the reality is it's tough. There are so many hurdles, internal and external, to jump, that I sometimes forget to stop and appreciate being part of such a fabulous community. Last night's book parties for Tom Zoellner's The Heartless Stone (which has now caught me in its grip, cannibalism and all, more on it when I'm done, I'm reading it along with Stephanie Klein's Sraight Up & Dirty: A Memoir, which so far is a total page-turner) and Bridget Harrison's Tabloid Love brought that home to me again. More on those later too. Here's Susie Bright on The Washingtonienne:

How do you decide if a story has enough erotic content?

i’I've struggled sometimes with that, especially if i love the story "as a story," but it’s light on sexual content. Still, a little can go a long way in the right context!

For example, in the next BAE, I use an excerpt from Jessica Cutler's
The Washingtonienne, about being an “intern” in Washington DC and fucking her way through the corridors of power. The language and description are not daringly explicit ... but the whole situation is outrageous, and she was so deft with the comedy of it all, that it stuck in my head. She created an erotic, if comical, picture that stays with you.

Hot summer lineups - mark your calendars

In The Flesh promises to spice up your summer! Really. Friends and strangers (to me) are reading and I couldn't be more thrilled.

July 19, 2006, 8pm

In The Flesh Reading Series, Happy Ending Bar

With Diana Cage (Box Lunch, Bottoms Up, On Our Backs Guide to Lesbian Sex), Desiree Burch (SMUT Series), Zaedryn Meade, Doreen Orsini (No One But Madison, Tanner's Angel, Hunting Diana), contributors to The MILF Anthology, rest of lineup TBA.
Free refreshments will be served.
302 Broome Street, NYC

Directions: B/D to Grand, F to Delancey, J/M/Z to Bowery


August 16, 2006, 8pm

In The Flesh Reading Series, Happy Ending Bar

With Shari Goldhagen (Family and Other Accidents), Shane Luitjens (Revolutionary Voices, Suspect Thoughts), Marie Lyn Bernard (Cleansheets, Best American Erotica 2007), Riain Grey (Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica, Scarlet Letters), and Lisa Montanarelli (Best American Erotica 2004, 2005, Whipped).
Free refreshments will be served.
302 Broome Street, NYC

Directions: B/D to Grand, F to Delancey, J/M/Z to Bowery


On the radio today with Justine Joli and Darklady

photo by Michael at Consensual Media photography

I wish I was actually going to be joining Miss Hotness Justine Joli again in person. I will just have to wait for my trip to LA so she can fulfill her promise of making me cupcakes. So pretty and sweet and lovely - really, one of those people who I met and was just instantly smitten with as we giggled our way through the Hilton. I'm not gonna lie - I'd love to tie her up and smear frosting all over her (or vice versa), but I will settle for listening to her luscious voice on the air. Seriously, meeting her and D. has just brought a lot of happiness into my life and it amazes me that I get to have these wonderful, intelligent, exciting talks with D. and it's so simple and easy - if only all my relationships could be like that! It's an attraction thing but also a lot more than that and I am going to be going to LA sometime this summer and visiting with them, family, and other friends.

I hope any Justine fans have also been checking out the ridiculously extensive photo galleries featuring her over at

DARKLADY'S SEXPOSE : 05-25-06 : Hot Bi Babes w/Rachel Kramer Bussel & Justine Joli
Darklady’s “Sexposé”
Thursday, May 25, 2006
2:00pm PST/5:00pm EST

TOPIC: Sexy Words, Pictures, and Hot Bi Babes w/Rachel Kramer Bussel & Justine Joli

Rachel Kramer Bussel: Senior editor at Penthouse Variations
Justine Joli: Kinky & bisexual porn star

Editor and writer Rachel Kramer Bussel hasn’t just selected stories by Darklady for her anthologies and then said nice things about them, she’s also got that brainy-sexy-east-coast-brunette-sassy-femme-writer thing going on. Naturally, this -- and her talent and vision as a creative -- make her the perfect person to talk to about the state of published erotica in the United States, the sex scene in New York City, what’s up with Penthouse – and the allure of the femme mystique.

Join Darklady for yet another lively online conversation, this time with Rachel Kramer Bussel, senior editor of Penthouse Variations, Penthouse columnist, copiously published sexy story writer, and editor of erotica anthologies including “Naughty Spanking Stories A to Z 1 and 2,” “Up All Night: Adventures in Lesbian Sex,” and the upcoming “Glamour Girls: Femme/Femme Erotica.” Joining in the conversation will be sleek, sexy, kinky, glamorous, fresh-faced, and bisexual porn pixie, Justine Joli. Online radio will be smarter a lot more beautiful on this Thursday’s Darklady’s Sexposé.

Log on. Listen. Join in the chat room conversation.
2:00pm PST/5:00pm EST

“Darklady’s “Sexposé” is re-broadcast on Wednesdays at 9am PST, Saturdays & Sundays at 10pm PST -- and available NOW online for download and podcast.

06-01-06 = Black women in porn with Vanessa Blue
06-08-06 = “Sex Machines” across America with author Timothy Archibald
06-15-06 = Freaky deaky fetish sex with Brittany Andrews
06-22-06 = Pornography and being a pirate with Brian Surewood

Have fun, play safe, and don’t forget – May is National Masturbation Month! Participate in or donate to your local Masturbate-a-thon!

-- Darklady
Assistant editor,
Host, “Darklady’s Sexpose,”


Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Final In The Flesh June 21st GLBT Night lineup


(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey,
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676

This Gay Pride month, come celebrate queerness in all its rainbow of colors with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender erotica at In The Flesh! Delight in these lusty tales by Cheryl B. (Coming Out of the Closet Again, Small Spiral Notebook), Trebor Healey (Through It Came Bright Colors, Sweet Son of Pan), Gena Hymowech (, First-Timers, Black Table), Sam J. Miller (Best Gay Erotica 2006, Velvet Mafia), Scott Pomfret (Romentics, Hot Sauce), Scott Whittier (Romentics, Honcho, Friction 7), and Jane Vincent (Educated Slut blog, Everything You Know About Sex Is Wrong), and host Rachel Kramer Bussel. Rachel will be celebrating and signing copies of her latest anthologies, First-Timers: True Stories of Lesbian Awakening and Glamour Girls: Femme/Femme Erotica. Books will be given away as door prizes and free candy and mini cupcakes will be served.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the city's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by Village Voice sex columnist and acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Future themed nights include “Revenge of the Sex Columnists” (September 2006) and erotic memoirs.

Rachel Kramer Bussel is a New York City-based author and editor. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations and a Contributing Editor and columnist for Penthouse, writes the Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice, and conducts interviews for and Her erotic stories have appeared in over 60 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006, and she’s edited her own collections, including Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 1 and 2, Up All Night, First-Timers, Glamour Girls, and the forthcoming Ultimate Undies, Sexiest Soles, Secret Slaves, and Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists. Rachel has also written for AVN, Bust, Metro, New York Post, Punk Planet, Time Out New York and Velvetpark.

Cheryl B. is an award-winning poet and writer. Her work appears in dozens of print and online publications including; BLOOM, Small Spiral Notebook, The Guardian, Reactions 5, and Pills, Thrills, Chills and Heartache. She has received a fellowship from the New York Foundation for the Arts and has been a resident at the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts. She curates and hosts the monthly ATOMIC Reading Series and she is the creator and producer of PVC: The Poetry vs. Comedy Variety Show. Cheryl is the editor of the forthcoming anthology Coming Out of the Closet Again: Queer Women on Loving Men (2007, Suspect Thoughts Press). She lives in Brooklyn and online at

Trebor Healey is the author of a novel, Through It Came Bright Colors (Harrington Park Press, 2003), and a book of erotic poems, Sweet Son of Pan (Suspect Thoughts Press, 2006). His work has appeared in Best Gay Erotic 2003, 2004, 2006 and Best of Best Gay Erotic; the Bad Boy Book of Erotic Poetry; Queer Dharma; Holy Titclamps; Van Go’s Ear; and dozens of other anthologies and journals. He wrote the hit single “Denny” for the Queercore band, Pansy Division.

Gena Hymowech is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in over 20 venues, including the New York Post, Time Out New York Kids, Complete Woman, Black Table and Her first anthology work will be appearing (under a pseudonym) in First-Timers: True Stories of Lesbian Awakening. She used a pseudonym for that essay because the event happened at one of her last jobs and she really doesn’t want to be sued. If you get her drunk enough at the In the Flesh event though, she might tell you where it occurred, among other things. She lives in Brooklyn.

Sam J. Miller is a community organizer. His writing has been published in Velvet Mafia, Smut!, In The Fray, and Best Gay Erotica 2006, among others. He lives in the Bronx with his partner of four years. When he's not writing or organizing poor people to fight for social justice, he's binging on old movies and punk rock. Drop him a line at

Scott Pomfret puts fun and romance back into gay erotica with his funny, tender yet still smokin' hot stories. Together with his real-life boyfriend (also named Scott), he writes the Romentics series of romance novels for gay men ( His stories have appeared in Best Gay Erotica, Playguy, Honcho, In Touch for Men, Hot Gay Erotica, Alyson Books' Friction series, Best Gay Love Stories 2005 and 2006, and numerous other anthologies. For more information, see

Jane Vincent is a sexuality educator, smut writer, and certified sex coach who holds a BS in human sexuality. She has published diverse works ranging from A Baby Dyke Learns to Score to Gonorrhea – Questions & Answers. As the educated slut, she takes it to the streets and the sheets and lives to blog the tale at She currently practices her unique blend of sexual activism in Houston, TX.

Scott Whittier, 31, a native of Poland, Maine, is an advertising copywriter. His commercial work has appeared on radio, billboards, TV and in print media internationally and has won top honors in the Healthcare Advertising Awards and Admission Advertising Awards. He has published fiction in Children Churches and Daddies, Playguy, In Touch, Honcho and Alyson’s anthologies Just the Sex, Ultimate Gay Erotica and Friction 7. With his boyfriend Scott Pomfret, he is co-author of the Romentics series of gay romance novels.

the business card says it all

Actually, while I still have these business cards, I'm wanting some new ones. I really don't do things I shouldn't (double negative, I know), but I like to think of myself as someone who does.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Reasonable person, my ass!

Yesterday, Wonkette linked to a Legal Times article about law professor Robert Steinbuch, who is suing Jessica Cutler, as well as to my reading series, In The Flesh, where Jessica read about a gross yet highly entertaining story about a tampon.

The most interesting part of this recent article is that, contrary to anything in the original lawsuit, Steinbuch is now claiming not only humiliation and invasion of privacy, but factual error. As a friend said, who is going to testify, people he’s slept with? How could it possibly be proved that Cutler was or was not telling the truth? I'm not a lawyer, but applying those old LSAT reading comprehension skills, this seems like the biggest difference between his strategy then and now:

It’s hard to know why anyone would care to set the record straight about whether he is able to ejaculate with or without a condom or whether he likes to spank or be spanked. But Rosen says that’s exactly what Steinbuch intends to do.

“There are graphic and intimate details which are not true,” he said in a telephone interview. “Those are facts that are going to be litigated.”

Furthermore, and what I’ve been trying to get at all along (see last year's Village Voice column "Spanking Jessica Cutler"), is that spanking, per se, is not "unreasonable." For that matter, premature ejaculation is quite common as well.

And he must show that the contents of Cutler’s blog are highly offensive to reasonable people.

If, as a society, we are going to claim that the allegation that someone likes to spank and be spanked is “highly offensive,” I think we have a long way to go toward acknowledging the diversity of sexual expression. It's not that he should have wanted her to post these things, but is the worst part that she posted them, or that they were happening? Read carefully and the word "scorned" comes up in various articles, along with a sense of betrayal, hurt and anger. All perfectly valid emotions, but enough to warrant a successful lawsuit? I hope not.

Now, several people have asked me, “Well, wouldn’t you be offended/upset if someone posted such items about you on a blog?” But that is really not the question here. It’s not that Steinbuch could have been expected to jump for joy at reading Cutler’s blog, it’s whether Cutler has a right to post about her own life (and, by extension, I would ask that of all the sex bloggers and other bloggers out there posting personal accounts of their lives). I would recommend taking a gander at Tucker Max’s legal wranglings with Miss Vermont, Katy Johnson. If Tucker won the right to name names, I do not see why Jessica should be retroactively punished for using initials.

I see this as both a cultural issue, in terms of people's comfort level with their sexuality (a little tip: if you're going to do something you would absolutely die of shame if people found out about, don't do it - for instance, I could tell you about the person I had unprotected sex with who I read about at In The Flesh, and a few people know who that is, but I haven't done so here. I don't know what the legal consequences of naming him would be, but at the end of the day, it happened, and if you really don't want anyone to know, don't do it.) as well as a First Amendment issue. I think every blogger should be very concerned about this case as well (read the Legal Times piece for the bit about how when you post on your blog you are "publishing" your entire blog again, not just that specific entry, which is what Steinbuch is claiming, thereby affecting the statute of limitations). Reading both the article and the original suit, it seems clear that it was Cutler’s actions that offended him the most. Here's Steinbuch's lawyer, with extra emphasis for absurdity (have you ever been on MySpace, Livejournal, Blogger, etc.?):

“People’s behavior is only based on actions that are enforced,” Rosen says. “That’s what defines right and wrong. The whole point of this case is to maintain Rob’s privacy, but not just for him, for everybody — that you can’t just start dating some girl and suddenly it’s on the Internet.”

If she had only been sleeping with him, I don’t think this lawsuit would be happening—then again, the entire “scandal” stems from the multiple partners and the cash angle. As Wonkette hints at, if she had said what a huge stud he was, with a great cock who made her come a million times, I doubt this case would be proceeding.

Going back to the fact vs. falsehood angle:

The private facts include . . . spanking and hair pulling during their sexual activity (but conveniently leave out Cutler’s request of both) . . .

So if it’s false, why was this included? Something can’t be both a private “fact” and a falsehood. The original cause of action talks about “emotional distress,” “outrageous conduct,” and the defendant acting “reckless.” These are highly different claims than that the allegations are false. So which is it? Because if suddenly what was on her blog is "false," that to me would indicate he should be suing her for slander. I know I'm not a lawyer, but this distinction just screams out at me and wasn't really addressed in the Legal Times article.

Also, hadn’t picked up on this before. Item 22 of the original suit: “Cox hired Cutler to write for her website.” Is that true?

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Monday, May 22, 2006

Meet the Queen of the Oddballs, Hillary Carlip, tonight!

Queen of the Oddballs

Queen of the Oddballs

Hillary Carlip is Queen of the Oddballs. and author of the fabulous new memoir Queen of the Oddballs: And Other True Stories from a Life Unaccording to Plan.

7 pm, Chelsea Barnes and Noble!

Chick Ink anthology Call for Submissions


Every Tattoo Has a Story
Edited by Karen Hudson, The Guide to Tattoos and Body Piercings

We are seeking original, true, personal stories by women on the experience of being a woman with a tattoo--the ups, the downs, and everything in between.

Being a tattooed woman can be thrilling and liberating, it can also be challenging. We are interested in stories that might reveal an insight, offer advice--in short, writing that informs, intrigues, and inspires. Humor is welcome.

Biker chick! Circus freak! White trash! These were the labels that used to be assigned to women with tattoos, but no longer. Today women obtain more than half of all tattoos, a number that has quadrupled since the 1970s and more and more women are getting inked every day. From businesswomen to new moms to mid-lifers, nowadays you never know who is inked beneath their clothes.

From the divorcee looking for a new start to the 20-something looking to express herself, from the mastectomy patient looking for art to cover scars to a woman looking to memorialize a special moment in her life, women get tattoos for many reasons.
And each one of those tattoos has a story.

Chick Ink tells the real stories of those women and their body art, those who get tattoos and those who give tattoos. Why did they decide to get a tattoo, what was the tattoo experience like, and how has having that tattoo changed their perceptions of their own body and how others perceive them?

Chick Ink will also include stories from female tattoo artists. Stories about why they went into the tattoo industry, people they have tattooed, and the stereotypes and barriers they have had to face in this male-dominated profession.

Chick Ink gives voice to the thousands of women who got tattooed despite the stereotypes society may place upon them. It showcases the unique personal experience that getting a tattoo can be and also the bond it creates between inked women. These candid and funny tales reveal the daring and yet deeply meaningful motivations behind tattoos and how that inked art changes the bearer both internally and externally.

• Reactions from others—either positive or negative—on your tattoos.
• Issues specific to being a tattooed woman: overcoming others' expectations, stereotypes, etc.
• Dealing with resistance from family, friends, coworkers, children, significant others.
• The particular joys and freedoms that come with a tattoo.
• An incident that motivated you to get a tattoo.
• Lessons learned: Would you get tattooed all over again? Why or why not?
• Tattoo misadventures.

EDITOR: Karen Hudson is the guide to tattooing and body piercing. Her site is the 9th most accessed site on Karen has served a yearlong tattoo apprenticeship at a tattoo studio in Dallas, Texas. Her personal links within the tattoo community continue to keep her updated in body art.
Foreword by: Deana Lippens
Deana is a well-know tattoo artist with over 25 years of tattoo experience. Deana owns and operates Deana’s Skin art Studio in Florida and is also the founder and producer of “Marked for Life” the International Female Tattoo Artist Convention that just celebrated its 11th year.

PUBLISHER: Adams Media, an F + W Publications Company

DEADLINE: May 31, 2006

LENGTH: 1,000-1,500 words

FORMAT: Essays must be typed, double-spaced, and paginated. Please include your name, mailing address, phone number, email address, and a short bio on the last page. Stories will not be returned.
Stories must be TRUE, we do not publish fiction or poetry.

SUBMITTING: Electronic submissions are preferred. Send essay electronically as a Word or Rich Text Format file (with .doc or .rtf extension) to
Put “CHICK INK” in the subject line.
If e-mail is not possible, mail the essay to: Karen Hudson PO Box 29099 Indianapolis, IN 46229-0099

Manuscripts will not be returned.
Authors may submit multiple stories for consideration.
A publishing agreement will be mailed to the author of each story selected as a finalist.

PAYMENT: $100 plus one copy of the finished book


and those lips

Okay, I really encourage you to go view the entire set. I think they capture everything that is gorgeous about Justine - she has makeup on but there's still something refreshingly natural about these photos, with her feet digging into the sand, jeans rolled up, looking totally relaxed and happy at the beach. Yes, she has an entire line of fetish and other photos but the ones I like the most are always the starkest and simplest, and these really do it. Also, if you click through to each you can see what kind of camera, lens, sensitivity, etc. Michael used to take the photos.

Really, just stunning ones of her on the beach that I am absolutely taken with.

Photo by Michael of Consensual Media Photography

See the whole set

Justine Joli's website


and another

Really, just stunning ones of her on the beach that I am absolutely taken with.

Photo by Michael of Consensual Media Photography

See the whole set

Justine Joli's website


more Justine Joli gorgeousness

Really, just stunning ones of her on the beach that I am absolutely taken with.

Photo by Michael of Consensual Media Photography

See the whole set

Justine Joli's website


The most beautiful Justine Joli photos I've ever seen

Really, just stunning ones of her on the beach that I am absolutely taken with.

Photo by Michael of Consensual Media Photography

See the whole set

Justine Joli's website


Sunday, May 21, 2006

BEA 2006: the recap

Today was a wash for the most part in terms of BEA. I felt like all my energy had been zapped, but I did manage to get a few final books I wanted and not kill myself in the process of walking around laden with 7 bags. And I got a pretty purple lei, and really, how bad can life be when you're wearing a "cupcake fiend" t-shirt and a purple lei and the sun is shining?

I walked in utterly exhausted, shipped some books, grabbed a few last minute ones, had to cancel an appointment, then collapsed into the car. But it was so fun and worth the exhaustion. I hope to enjoy all the books I got while continuing with my own writing and all that I have planned. Here's some highlights of my BEA experience:

Best Quote: Shari Goldhagen, "I was with Rachel, and then five minutes later, I was Rachel" (because of how many books and bags she gathered)
Best Dog: Amadeus see for pics
Best Non-Book Giveaway: Guinness Book of World Records’ Balloon Animals (and flowers, hats, earrings, etc.)
Best Bag That I Didn’t Get: Shari’s mighty vegetarian bag, McGraw-Hill’s huge red bags
Best Bag I Did Get: Penguin’s shiny, cartoony ones that held tons of stuff
Best Author Signing: Amy Sedaris
Book I’ll Be Reading First: Pornology by Ayn Carrillo-Gailey. And after that: Haters by Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, Ballsy by Karen Salmansohn, Pin-Up Grrrls: Feminism, Sexuality, Popular Culture by Maria Elena Buszek
Book I’m most afraid of: it’s packed so I don’t remember the exact title, but it was a L. Ron Hubbard book for kids
Most offensive title (2nd year running): My Parents Went Through the Holocaust and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt: A Near-Life Experience by S. Hanala Stadner
Best Bus: Ellora’s Cave - they drive around in it
Most Incongruous booth: Sounds Erotic, which I am planning to write about for the Voice, run by the most normal, suburban-looking couple, complete with 11-week-old baby, who puts out audio porn CDs
Best heartening single girl talk: Bridget Harrison
Best food: Running Press’s promo for Delilah’s Soul Food - yummy macaroni and cheese, Chronicle Books’s hot dogs, Honorable mention: Google cookies
Best non-book goodie: Backrub from Douglas
Book that wasn’t available yet but am most looking forward to: Tara McPherson’s Lonely Heart: The Art of Tara McPherson (with a foreword by Frank Kozik). Runner up: Amy Sedaris’s I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence.
Best catalog intrigue: Dawn Eden’s The Thrill of the Chaste, Justin Racz’s 50 Days Worse Than Yours.

Huge thanks to The Heartless Stone author Tom Zoellner for the ride (check out his website for tour dates), Shari Goldhagen and Martha Burzynski for help in book grabbing, silliness, and playing the "Jayson Blair or Kaavya Viswanathan" game in the car, and Sira for letting me invade his apartment.

How many copies of Paint It Black are in this photo?

Little, Brown reps are tired
Originally uploaded by Alice Ayers.
Really, that's a rhetorical question. Someone must have worked really hard to get them into that perfect swirl. We joked about someone popping out of there. For The Yummy Mummy, they had a stroller set inside the swirl of books with copies sitting IN the stroller.

Caught Looking at the PGW booth

Originally uploaded by Alice Ayers.
My upcoming anthology (and the best one yet in my not so humble opinion!) Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhbitionists, which I co-edited with Alison Tyler, was on prominent display at the PGW section.

With Amy Sedaris

Amy Sedaris and RKB
Originally uploaded by Alice Ayers.
Or rather, with Amy Sedaris's cleavage. I can't wait to read her book I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence (they just had a little snippet of it and an audio CD to give away at BEA) and then interview her for the cupcake blog. She was totally sweet and very popular at the expo. Another booth was actually giving away cupcakes but at that point I was so exhausted and full of sugar I had to skip it.

BEA in photos part 1

See Publishers Marketplace's Flickr account for more BEA photos - Google was giving away these yummy cookies on the way from one part of BEA to the other, they helped keep us going so we could carry more books. I must have looked so exhausted carting tons of bags around today but it was worth it. Shipped home 88 pounds of books and carried many more. Highlights TK.

BEA recovery, Pink Ink panel

Full update once I get home, such a whirlwind of people and books, my mind can hardly process. Spent the last two nights largely at this bar Science Club, and this morning am feeling the effects. Got a "This Is Not Chick Lit" t-shirt from Elizabeth Merrick (and a galley of her book by the same name!) and a backrub from Douglas and a pretty Fetish Sex brochure from Violet Blue. But am ready to go home, so tired and when I get my energy back, I have lots of writing I want to do. Off to get the last few books and talk about cupcakes.

Sunday, June 11th I'm part of a panel at Pink Ink:

June 11, 11 am
Pink Ink Panel, LGBT Center, 208 West 13th Street
Writers On-Line. Moderator: Sean Meriwether. Panelists: Toni Amato, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Jameson Currier, Timothy State. The internet is one of the most democratic venues for marginalized writers to get their words to the public; anyone with a hookup can access your work, giving you global exposure and more reads than most traditional outlets can offer. What are the online markets and resources to publish your work? What should you include in your personal website? Learn the pros and cons of self-promotion, blogging, e-books and going digital.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Instapundit-ed and the first rush of BEA madness

First Page Six, now Instapundit...after a day of nonstop book-grabbing, socializing, and talking to tons of smart, interesting writers. Wow. My head is spinning in the best possible way, full of ideas and book lust and possibilities. I think it's possible to walk away from BEA overwhelmed in every sense of the word, and perhaps discouraged-so many books which you know you will never read, can yours be anything but a drop in the bucket? And yet, there's something beautiful and inspiring and exciting, something that made me feel so alive and excited as I rode down the escalator, and it wasn't just the promise of free stuff. It's being around so many people who care, really care, about books. Who get as giddy about them as some people do about music or movies or money or food (okay, I got giddy about food today too).

It's about community, or rather, communities. It's exciting and invirgorating and I truly hope to take all that home and make something out of it. I've never been the loner-writer-at-home-and-never-come-out-till-I'm-done type, and I realized tonight that part of the reason is that I feed off other people's ideas and energy. Not just in a formal sense of wanting to quote them, but of bouncing around my thoughts, of knowing that they care about the things I care about, that it's not just all in my head. Every little "you can do it," every acknowledgement that maybe I'm onto something, little tidbits of information and perspective, all help so much. I started to feel like I was coming back to life on Wednesday night, hanging out at Lolita after my reading and just being silly, catching up, gossiping, forgetting about the stress and drama and bad things, and even though all is not sunshine and cupcakes, I feel really invincible, and it's a great feeling.

Full BEA report soon, photos Sunday night. In brief phraselogy: yummy mac and cheese, Chronicle hot dogs, Guiness Book of World records balloon flower, Meg Cabot, Jeannette Walls, dishing about dating with Bridget Harrison, finally meeting Tania Katan, perfect gifts from Alice Ayers: A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder - How cramemd cloests, cluttered offices, and on-the-fly planning make the world a better place (all those words are on the cover!) by Eric Abrahamson and David H. Freedman and Pornology: One Nice Girl's Hilarious Misadventures as She Attempts to Understand Strip Clubs, Adult Videos, Sex Toys, Internet Porn, Erotica, and Finally Learns to Relax, Since Afteer All It's Just Sex (also all on the cover) by Ayn Carillo-Gailey, catalogs galore, lipstick imprint autographs from Kayla Perrin and M.J. Rose, See Jane Write, Haters by Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, Anonymous Lawyering, audio erotica CDs, the Ellora's Cave bus, an adorable 11-week-old baby, Reasonites. Much, much more too.

Saturday means Amy Sedaris (!!!), my signing, Harlequin and maybe PGW parties, and who knows what other madness.

My latest Village Voice column, "USC's Topless Professor"

Lusty Lady, "USC's Topless Professor"
Feminist Diana York Blaine bares her boobs and talks gender equality

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My Josh Kilmer-Purcell interview in Page Six!

Okay, I half-jokingly say that my goal in life is to be mentioned on Page Six - well, it's half-complete. My interview with Josh Kilmer-Purcell, where he says "I could've owned Page Six," IS AN ITEM TODAY IN PAGE SIX!!! What was I just saying about writing for free? No money, but still worth it when people give great interviews like that! But I have a feeling it's a sign of good things to come. Okay, really off to BEA now!

Update: Josh Kilmer-Purcell blogged about it and posted an image from the actual paper.

May 19, 2006 -- MEMOIRIST Josh Kilmer-Purcell says he resisted the temptation to weigh in on the James Frey scandal when it was burning white-hot - and has little regard for writers who attacked the "A Million Little Pieces" fabulist at the time. Kilmer-Purcell - an ad agency exec who writes about his debauched drag-queen past in "I Am Not Myself These Days" - says he's glad he never lectured his friend Frey in print. "I could've owned Page Six," Kilmer-Purcell tells gay Web site "Hell, I could have finally gotten a New York Times op-ed piece published - but I didn't. While I may be a publicity hound, I'm not a whore. I'd never chide another writer. As far as I'm concerned, any author can write any damn thing s/he feels like. I thought Mary Karr was a sanctimonious bitch for writing the New York Times op-ed piece that she did. A writer shouldn't impose their regimen on other writers. If the bitch ever preaches to me, I'll cut her," he concludes.

Gay-bashing/attempted murder in St. Maarten

Really disturbing, must-read piece by journalist Ryan Smith on being gay-bashed while on vacation in St. Maarten, at Queerty

The Rejection Show on June 6th!

Made it to DC all in one piece thanks to the very kind Tom Zoellner (check out his site for The Heartless Stone and see tour dates and read more about diamonds!) and the giggles and silliness of Shari Goldhagen. Got my first real, full night's worth of sleep in ages.

Off to BEA armed with tape recorder and camera and empty tote bags, interviewing Bridget Harrison today for my Voice column and going to signings by Zane, Rita Mae Brown, Megan McCafferty, Violet Blue, Jeannette Walls, Karena Gore Schiff, Meg Cabot, Daniel Handler, etc. Should I go see Alan Thicke? Anyway, must get going! Woke up to an email from jon Friedman about my favorite comedy show, which I'm performing at June 6th (or rather, my 9-year-old self will be singing "Like a Virgin" - it's the most embarrassing thing I've ever done!). Definitely check out the new Rejection Show website!

"The Rejection Show" returns with a "Summerfest of Rejection" beginning June
6th at Mo Pitkin¹s and continuing EVERY Tuesday night throughout the summer
to celebrate the launch of the new Rejection Show website ­ - The Web¹s Official Home For "All Things Rejected."

Like the show itself, the new website will be a display of a variety of
rejected material from rejected cartoons, rejected short films, rejected
greeting cards, rejected TV pilots, videos clips, personal rejections,
essays, literary work, and more as well as continue to share unique insights
to the process of gaining acceptance from those who wield power. Rejected
material submissions open to anyone, anywhere.

Created and produced by writer and comedian, Jon Friedman, The Rejection
Show is a comedic based event that embraces the rejected and "turned down"
material of writers, comedians, cartoonists, artists, and human beings whom
display their creative "failures" live on stage.

Jon Friedman Presents:

34 AVENUE A (2nd & 3rd St.)
(212) 777-5660
F or V to Second Avenue

JUNE 6TH 2006 7:30PM

Featuring the rejections of:

(Stella, Wet Hot American Summer, The State)

(CBS Marketwatch)
that other Jon Friedman

(Village Voice, Penthouse)

(The New Yorker Magazine)


And as always, more fun rejection surprises!

Continuing dates
JUNE 6, 13, 20, 27
JULY 18, 25
AUGUST 1, 8, 15, 22

Thursday, May 18, 2006

2 contests: Win Black Artemis's Burn and Kathryn Finney's How to Be a Budget Fashionista

Men With Balls


Hot to Be a Budget Fashionista

How to Be a Budget Fashionista

2 writer friends are having contests (well, one is by Redbook) to win their books - Sofia Quintero, aka Black Artemis, just read at In The Flesh, and I will get to hang out with Kathy of The Budget Fashionista and our mutual friend Sira this weekend in DC for BEA.

Win Burn by answering trivia about either of the previous Black Artemis novels, Explicit Content or Picture Me Rollin'

Win How to Be a Budget Fashionista from Redbook

All of us!

Originally uploaded by brianvan.
All of my authors/readers/performers from last night's In The Flesh Reading Series

Back row: Polly Frost, Perry Daniel (actor in Polly Frost's "Sex Scenes), Sofia Quintero, Ron Bass, Charlie Anders

Front row: Alex Kosene (actor in Polly Frost's "Sex Scenes"), Leora Skolkin-Smith, Emily Scarlet Kramer, Rachel Kramer Bussel

Photo by Brian Van

Another fabulously fun reading

I don't have much time now to recap the latest, fabulous In The Flesh, other than to thank all the readers and everyone (so many of you!) who showed up. It was another spectacular night filled with self-spanking to punctuate readings, twincest, a sexy massage and a black jacuzzi, an Israeli seduction, some spanking voyeurism, some hot Election Night 2004 kinky sex, and a brilliant teacher/student prison scene role-playing scenario. I know it sounds bizarre, and it was, but also sexy and hilarious. I'll be adding updates at the In The Flesh site when I can, which may not be next week considering that tonight I'm off to DC for BEA. I've got my camera, tape recorder, and laptop, along with my enthusiasm for an endless stream of free books, parties, cupcakes, and friends.

Check out the authors who read at In The Flesh for more about their work:

Charlie Anders

Ron Bass

Polly Frost

Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE

Sofia Quintero

Leora Skolkin-Smith

Josh Kilmer-Purcell, "Not Your Average Gay Memoirist,"

I adore Josh Kilmer-Purcell, who treated us all to a fabulous reading/singing number last month at In The Flesh. So I wrote about him for Afterelton today, "Not Your Average Gay Memoirist." We get into everything from his drag persona, Aquadisiac, and his crack-addicted boyfriend, Jack, to his Datalounge addiction and how "he could have owned Page Six" since he's buddy-buddy with James Frey. If you want to stalk him, come to see Hillary Carlip on Monday night at 7 at Chelsea Barnes & Noble!

Here's a snippet of the article:

Kilmer-Purcell thinks the media cared much more than readers about Frey's transgressions. “I learned on my tour that just about every reporter/journalist has a book moldering in their desk that they can't get published. Most people are insanely jealous of his success, me included. It's the American way,” he reveals, departing from an earlier official “public statement” about Frey. Still, he's glad he waited until the scandal had died down, and is scathing in his indictment of authors who didn't.

“I could've owned Page Six. Hell, I could have finally gotten a
New York Times Op-Ed piece published—but I didn't. While I may be a publicity hound, I'm not a whore. I'd never chide another writer. As far as I'm concerned, any author can write any damn thing s/he feels like,” Kilmer-Purcell states. “I thought Mary Karr was a sanctimonious bitch for writing the New York Times Op-Ed piece that she did. A writer shouldn't impose their regiment on other writers. If the bitch ever preaches to me, I'll cut her,” he concludes.

I Am Not Myself These Days

I Am Not Myself These Days

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Feministing wants you . . .

to write for them! (Yes, I know it doesn't pay, but as a veteran of online writing gigs that don't pay, which I sometimes still take (see tomorrow's piece on Josh Kilmer-Purcell at and my forthcoming Bookslut interview with Hillary Carlip, you have to ask YOURSELF-not other people-if it's worth it. If it's not, just skip right on over this post. I can't decide that for you.) is seeking bloggers to join its online team. We are
looking for writers (not necessarily published) and those familiar with blogging to fill the following contributor positions:

The Feministing interviewer will provide at least one interview a week. We're not only looking for well-known interview subjects, but would also like profiles of women doing grassroots activism who aren't normally given a forum to talk about their work. The Feministing interviewer will need to be able to seek out interesting young women!

Reviews Contributor
Able to provide music, television, movie and book reviews on a regular basis (once a week). Pop culture addict a plus.

General Contributor
Blogs about everything and anything--willing to commit to posting at least twice a week with the potential of posting (much) more.

If you're interested in any of the above openings, please send an
appropriate writing sample--an interview, review, or a blog post to Please also tell us a little about

We are seeking young women of diverse backgrounds, geographic
locations (international a plus), etc. We wish we could pay (damn, do
we wish), but we can't. Sorry!

Email us at

and an illustration of those pesky, should-be-illegal playthings

Nashville: Where sex doesn't sell

"Vibrators off," Nashville Scene - ah, those controversial sex toys! Read about how Surprise Parties has been unable to buy a billboard for its sex-toy parties, despite having cash in hand. But wait, you ask, isn't American full of girls going wild and female chauvinist pigs? Perhaps not so much. Sex, of a sort, sells, but only when it's convenient, pleasingly packaged, and the "right" kind of sex. Vibrators need not apply, at least in Tennessee.

Vibrators, it seems, are the sticky wicket in the sex-toy party circuit—in fact, Tennessee lawmakers recently tried to make their use illegal. Surprise Parties managers are sensitive to the subject, not wanting to be labeled in the same breath as sex-shop merchants. “In some people’s minds, that’s true,” says Donna Wittrig, a Surprise Parties vice president who has worked for the company 16 years. “But that’s not what it’s all about.”

What it’s all about, Wittrig says, is helping women to take a “Stand by Your Man” approach to romance. Everything Surprise Parties sells is designed to bring women, specifically married women, closer to the partner from whom they’ve drifted away, at least romantically. At a recent regional management meeting, Wittrig asked reps whether they knew women with children who’d never had an orgasm. Tragically, every woman in the room raised her hand, Wittrig says.

That in itself was bad enough, she goes on to say, but failed intimacy also has led to unintended consequences like faked orgasms, bad sex and broken marriages. “If you’re mercy faking, you’re lying to your partner,” Wittrig says. “No one should do that because you’re teaching bad technique. He’s thinking, ‘I should do that again’ because he thinks you responded to him. You don’t lie with your mouth and you don’t lie with your pelvis.”

too much cuteness

Originally uploaded by BK 10012.
Okay, there is never too much, but he is so adorable. I wish I could watch him swing in the park every day.

a pretty mini cupcake

Mini Cupcake
Originally uploaded by epistemographer.
They won't look exactly like this but yes, I will have mini cupcakes from Whole Foods at In The Flesh tonight - 8 pm, Happy Ending Lounge, 302 Broome, see below for details.

fake it till you make it

Originally uploaded by brianvan.
Saturday night I dragged myself out of bed (where I'd seriously prefer to be, huddled under the covers, for the next month) to go to The Dove for my friend and former roommate Martha's birthday party. Wound up chatting about stockings ("medias de fantasia"), cupcakes, books, boys, and numbers. Was much fun and I'm glad I managed to leave the house. Gotta keep that in mind for In The Flesh, where I will probably forego reading myself in favor of hosting.

Erotica! Cupcakes! Candy! Free Books! Tonight at In The Flesh!

I don't have any raffle tickets so it's gonna be a book giveaway free for all. Plus mini cupcakes (vanilla and chocolate, while supplies last), candy (mini Butterfinger, Twix, Nestle Crunch, Kit Kat) and lots of free books and a few free magazines!

Updated In The Flesh Flier
Originally uploaded by rkb1.
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey,
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676

In May, celebrate springs with an assortment of New York’s finest authors, from the fiction of Ron Bass, to CAKE co-founder Emily Scarlet Kramer, “Ivy League Homegirl” Sofia Quintero (aka Black Artemis), Charlie Anders (Choir Boy) all the way from San Francisco, Edges: O Israel, O Palestine author Leora Skolkin-Smith, and the racy words of Polly Frost who wrote Vivid Girl Tawny Roberts’s novel Private Access, along with new work by host Rachel Kramer Bussel.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the city's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by Village Voice sex columnist and acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Future themed nights include GLBT stories (June 2006), porn star night, "Revenge of the Sex Columnists" (September 2006) and erotic memoirs.

Charlie Anders can jump up to 100 feet in the air, but can't walk. She lives in a hot air balloon over Golden Gate Park in San Francisco. Her novel Choir Boy (Soft Skull Press 2005) is a finalist for the Lambda Literary Award and the Edmund White Debut Fiction Award. She's the co-editor of the anthology She's Such A Geek (Seal Press 2006), publisher of other magazine and organizer of the Writers With Drinks
reading series.

Ron Bass recently read in the Swift Ink reading series at Swift Hibernian Tavern. His short story The Varieties of Orgasmic Experience and his interview with the writer/director Dan Roentsch have been published on the Erotic Authors Association website. He is currently working on To My Twenty-Fifth Century Biographers, a novel about the life and times of the controversial Pultizer Prize winning poet, Brockden ("Bronc") White.

Polly Frost's short story collection Visions of Ecstasy will be published next year by Tor. She also recently collaborated with the artist Jess Fink on the "Head 14" anthology of graphic stories for Eros Comix, which will be out in February. She also wrote the Vivid Girls Tawny Roberts novel Private Access, which has just been published. With her husband, Ray Sawhill, Polly co-writes the ongoing erotic soap opera, "Sex Scenes," that's read by actors in monthly performances at Cornelia Street Cafe and other venues. In addition to her erotica, Polly has written on movies, books, food and music, and her humor pieces were published in the New Yorker. Her website is

Emily Scarlet Kramer is the co-founder of CAKE, an entertainment company dedicated to providing education and information about female sexual culture, and the co-author of A Piece of CAKE: Recipes for Female Sexual Pleasure. She received her B.A. in Women and Gender Studies from Columbia University and has spent the last five years writing about female sexuality and actively educating women on the subject.

Self-proclaimed "Ivy League homegirl," Sofia Quintero was born and raised in a Puerto Rican-Dominican family in the Bronx where she still resides. She is the author of the "chica lit" novel Divas Don’t Yield and also pens hip hop fiction under the pseudonym Black Artemis. She co-founded the nonprofit Chica Luna Productions ( as well as Sister Outsider Entertainment ( Sofia's first erotic novella will appear in an anthology of Latina authors to be published by Atria/Simon & Schuster in 2007.

Leora Skolkin-Smith’s novel Edges: O Israel, O Palestine, was selected by Grace Paley for Glad Day Books. Also nominated for this years 2006 PEN/Hemingway Award by Grace Paley, Edges is Skolkin-Smith’s first published full-length novel. Born in Manhattan in 1952, Leora spent her childhood between New York and Israel, traveling with her family to her mother's birthplace in old Jerusalem every three years.

"Sex objects can be powerful sex subjects"

From Debbie Stoller's answer to "Aside from other writers, name some artists from whom you draw inspiration and talk a little about their work."

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Sex with the sex columnist

I'm so happy that I met Judy McGuire, because not only is she one awesome chica, she writes a fabulous column (Dategirl), snarky and witty blog and always seems to get where I'm coming from. Or vice versa, in this case - we have both been through the drama of having guys interested in us only because we write a sex column. I feel like anyone who meets me and talks to me for more than 2 seconds should hopefully realize that while, yes, many of my conversations revolve around sex, I'm actually so not interested in talking about myself in that way. I would much rather do like I did tonight, which is attend the NYC Beard & Moustache Championships but spend most of the night at a table in the back chatting with two of the awesomest women in the NYC comedy scene, Sara Jo Alloco and Brandy Barber. I could talk to them for hours about all kinds of things and we bonded over books, bad dates, waxing, sex and food. Also, check out Brandy's article in the latest issue of BUST about Stop Staring! clothing, and her review of Spike Gillespie's book Pissed Off. I'm trying to get them to come with me on Monday to go see Hillary Carlip (really, you should come too - I don't go to all that many readings cause, well, I get bored. Awful thing for a person who runs a reading series to say, but there you have it. So when I urge you to go to a reading, it's cause I am pretty sure it's gonna be something special. After all, Hillary has juggled, eaten fire, danced in Xanadu, almost worked with Debbie Gibson, stalked Carole King, and says she wanted to bitch-slap Oprah. Come on!)

So back to Judy - her latest column is a follow up to the first one, about all the wrong reasons to have sex (inspired by her true confession at last month's In The Flesh. Speaking of which, I'm gonna do true confessions again, probably in January or February.). This time around, she's writing about wrong reasons people have had sex with her.

Holy crap! She writes that sex column! I've gone on several dates with men who (I found out much later) only wanted to date me because I write about sex. Far from flattering, I found having someone quote me to me over dinner deeply unnerving. My friend Rachel Kramer Bussel, who writes the Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice, has had similar experiences. "Generally, I get the sense that people either see me as some total wanton, horny sexpot and/or this girl they can experiment sexually with and then walk away as if I have no feelings whatsoever," she commiserated.

So there you have it. Though I think the reason not to treat people like that is not because they're a sex columnist, but because they're a person.