Two men walk into a room and whip out their dicks...you won't believe what happens next!

I'm not going to apologize for this post title. I had to do it! You can find out exactly what happens in my column "What happens when a 'manwhore' podcast host gets naked with guests" about Billy Procida and his nude episodes of The Manwhore Podcast in Philadelphia City Paper. Missed any past columns? Read the archives here and send any story ideas, be they interesting people, events, subjects, fetishes, etc., to rachelcitypaper at gmail.com. Thanks for reading!

Pinch my nipples, please

That's the title for this week's Philadelphia City Paper sex column, where I got some help from Jerome Stuart Nichols of ltasex.com. If you like nipples, my column or just want to be supportive, I'd love it if you'd like, Tweet, share on G+ or anywhere else. In case you're wondering: yes, it matters, immensely. If no one was reading, my column would have ended by now. Since last week's OrgasmQuest column went viral, spawning articles on sites like Jezebel and Refinery29 and The Daily Dot, a segment on Dr. Drew's HLN show last night, I'm finding out just how important reader support is, and I'll be writing more on that soon.

The magical sex column that boosted my 2014

Sometimes freelancing, well, sucks. Day to day I vacillate on whether I know what I'm doing or should chuck it all in and try to look for a secure job, though who knows if any job is truly "secure" these days. Maybe not day to day, but this month that is accurate, and certainly not a month goes by when I don't wonder if I should be doing this, if I'm pulling my financial weight in my household, if I have what it takes to make a living at this (I believe in myself as a writer, but you have to write a ton and edit lots of maybe-they'll-sell-maybe-they-won't anthologies to make a living). So yes, I do find myself thinking jealously of my friends with steady jobs or other means of financial security. Then I remember that my #1 life goal right now is to be a work at home mom, and while it will be up to the universe whether I get to the mom part, it seems, the work at home part is up to me.

Mostly, what I've learned in the last 3 years as a full-time freelancer is that you never know what will happen, good or bad. Gigs magically arrive and are sometimes over before they even start. Sometimes the gig I'm excited about at first becomes arduous and next to impossible. I will be reading and following and trying to absorb by osmosis The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte so I can get my work life in line with what I want to be putting out into the world and what I'm good at. I will be focusing more on teaching erotica and sex writing in the new year, which is part of why I started my Erotica Writing Tip Tuesday posts. They're also, it should be clear, a reminder to me that I can do this writing thing, even when it's hard, even when I don't feel like I have a clear path, even amidst rejection.

All that is a way to preface one of the 3 giant career gifts I was given this year. I say "gifts" because that is how they each felt, even though they were gifts I've been working toward since leaving law school sans degree back in 1999. That is something that will forever hang over my head, but it was also a learning experience that taught me that even if you push yourself, sometimes a career path just isn't right, and something about this one is. Which is why when I woke up at CatalystCon in September to an email from the editor of Philadelphia City Paper asking me if I wanted to write a sex column for them, even though I'm actually a Jersey girl, felt like this wondrous gift. I've never had a steady weekly gig like this and sometimes that's a lot of pressure, but it also pushes me to seek out and find topics and events and people I wouldn't have otherwise. Another key difference aside from word count and timing from my Voice column is that I'm in a live-in monogamous going-on-three-years relationship. There's less to write about my own sex life than there was in my single days, and that's a good thing. I will probably always write about my life, but it will probably be more about me as a hoarder and a traveler and other aspects of me than just what I do in bed, though there are hints of it in the columns below, like when I prefer sex, what I wore for my first pegging, the joy of blowjobs and such.

I have no idea how long it will last, because you never do with these things, but my dream is to get to write a column a week for all of 2015, to stretch myself and grow and get sharper about writing to a relatively small word count, to showcase for myself and my readers about aspect of sex I/they hadn't thought of before. Bottom line: for however long this column lasts and my stint as a freelancer lasts, I will be grateful. I will also work harder to nurture and sustain my career so I can be the mashup writer/editor/teacher/speaker/blogger I am now.

So as the year wraps up with this final 2014 column, I wanted to say thank you to the paper, the universe and whatever other forces gave me this opportunity, and to highlight the columns I've written so far. In chronological order from the first one to this week's, here are my City Paper sex columns:

"Are you a slut?"

"Why Sex Ed Weeks on campus make sense"

"It's Sex O'Clock, time for a weekend romp"

"No topic's taboo at this Philly Erotic Literary Salon"

"Best-selling sex toys for couples of all kinds"

"Pegging for the first time"

"When it comes to sex, don't tell me where to get pleasure"

"Saying thanks for the sex lessons over the years"

"How to talk dirty without sounding cheesy"

"Niche porn films face censorship fight in Britain"

"With personal lube, slippery when wet"

"Meet a happy 29-year-old virgin"

Interview about erotica in The Portland Phoenix and Tuesday's writing workshop in Portland, Maine

Thank you to The Portland Phoenix for interviewing me about modern erotica and my tips on erotica writing. I'm looking forward to my erotica workshop at Nomia in Portland, Maine on Tuesday night, December 3rd. If you'd like to register, I'm being told tickets are going to sell out shortly, so call Nomia at 207.773.4774 to sign up. Details are below. Here's a snippet from the interview, in response to what makes an erotica story successful:

A good story grabs you from the first sentence and makes you need to keep reading. Don’t skimp on the sex, but you don’t necessarily have to give an exact play-by-play rundown of every touch or look or moan; tell us what will convey the sexual highlights and what makes the encounter so explosive. Bonus points if it also manages to put a new twist on sexuality or an underrepresented or misunderstood fetish or sexual practice. It can have humor or darkness — I’ve published stories about breakups, funerals, and cancer, to name a few — and could be about anything from politics to sports to sex clubs. If there’s one thing I hope people take away from my erotic writing workshop, it’s that anything can be eroticized!

December 3, 7:30-9 pm
Erotica 101 writing workshop

Nomia, 24 Exchange Street, Suite 215, Portland, Maine

Rachel Kramer Bussel, professional erotica author and editor of over 50 erotica anthologies, such as The Big Book of Orgasms, Women in Lust, Please, Sir and Please, Ma'am, will take you through the ins and outs of modern erotic writing. Learn how to get started, find your voice, and write against type. You'll discover how to incorporate everyday scenarios as well as outlandish fantasies into your writing, and make them fit for particular magazines and anthologies. She'll also talk about submitting your work and keeping up with the thriving erotica market (including anthologies, ebooks, magazines and websites). Whether you're writing to that special someone, penning longtime fantasies, or want to earn cash for your dirty words, this workshop is for you. Please bring paper or writing implements or a laptop to use for in class writing exercises. A bibliography with erotica resources will be provided. Seating is limited and we expect this workshop to fill up FAST!

Please call the shop at 207.773.4774 to reserve your spot! $20 per person.

Rock Out With Your Cupcake Out

I saw this ad for Cupcake Royale in The Stranger and simply adored it. Was weird to read Seattle alt weeklies that I primarily read online; got to see Judy McGuire's latest Dategirl column in Seattle Weekly too.