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Sunday, November 08, 2015

How lube took over the world this week, with a little help from Ronda Rousey

In case you didn't hear, Ronda Rousey is not a fan of lube. She came under fire this week for telling Maxim readers, in an article entitled "UFC Queen Ronda Rousey Reveals the Secret to Great Sex," this:
What should a guy always do? Take his time. In general, a girl takes a minute. He needs to get her ready. You should never need lube in your life. If you need lube, then you’re being lazy...and you’re not taking your time.
For Salon, I broke down why Ronda Rousey is wrong about lube, with the help of numerous sex educators and professionals.

rondarouseysalon

Plenty of others also took Rousey to task. At Bustle, Kristine Fellizar detailed "Why You Need Lube During Sex, Even Though Ronda Rousey Thinks You Don't." Jezebel noted why it's not a good idea idea to take sex advice from Rousey. Wicked Sensual Care offered Rousey a lifetime supply of free products, including lube.

Last but not least, sex educator, researcher and Come As You Are author Emily Nagoski started the Twitter hashtag #tweetyourlube to get people sharing the role lube plays in their lives, and wrote a great blog post on sex positivity and lube. For some lube suggestions, check out Lady Laid Bare's roundup. The end result has been a lot more awareness of how many people use lube, why it's important, and denouncing Rousey's outdated, false statements, which are pretty indefensible (though of course, many have questioned why she was being asked for sex advice in the first place).

This story came full circle when Maxim itself responded to the outcry, quoting my Salon article and #tweetyourlube posts and getting Rousey to comment:
These are obviously legitimate and important reasons why we shouldn't think of using lube as a sign of weakness, and Rousey seemed to agreed. "If you have a physical problem, you should use it," she said when asked by Maxim about the response to her comments. "But in my experience, I’ve never needed it. "
This brings up an issue that's basically the difference between using the first person and giving advice. It's fine for Rousey to say she's never needed lube and/or doesn't personally like it. But that's completely different from saying that nobody should ever need or use it, and if you do, you're lazy. That's incorrect, and the world knows it.

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