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Lusty Lady

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Sunday, February 05, 2012

Daily gratitude: This, Hawaiian edition

Crossposting from my Tumblr, where I try for daily gratitude, along with one of my favorites of the hundreds of photos I've taken here in Hawaii, of Waikiki Beach at sunset. I plan to come back in November for my birthday, if not sooner. This has been a beautiful, much-needed vacation.

Daily gratitude: This

Just this feeling of total serenity I’ve had here. Not every second but for the most part I tapped in to enjoying this island and my time, whether I was soaking my feet in a hot tub, watching the sunset, eating cupcakes or an amazing acai bowl, or delicious food cart snacks, having my photo taken with a topless male model, seeing a bacon cupcake underarm tattoo, in a car going zero to sixty, on the beach, at the mall, drinking coffee, reading, walking or geeking out over cacti or adorable children or the sun like I’d never seen any of them before. It feels like it’s been much longer than a week and I’d easily extend another week if I could. I mean, the worst things that happened were having my bank card blocked by a fraud attempt and seeing a “Romney - Believe in America” sign (wtf? I sure as hell believe in my fucking country).

My upcoming week, which involves a friend’s theater show, a hot date, saying goodbye to some of mg favorite New Yorkers before they move, speaking in Milwaukee and at Northwestern, being on live TV, digging in to a fun new assignment where I get to hear about other people’s sexcapades and break into a new print venue, is all great, but feels so far away. Heady but intimidating, and I’m not quite ready for anything remotely approaching intimidating just yet. I want to take as much of the spirit of this trip home with me. I can’t be the girl I was in January, the instantly reactive, out of control childish person I was starting to become. Maybe I needed to shock my system to shake it up, and I certainly needed to escape my claustrophobic city. But now I need to learn to live there, with all my and its imperfections and memories and blessings. Because more than anything I feel blessed to have had this week, to remember my strengths, to be reminded that I don’t have to go out of my way to impress people, just be open. So while I’m leaving Hawaii tonight, I hope it’s not leaving me, and not just because I’m bringing my comfy slippers (one of my vocabulary lessons - slippers, not flip flops) back to Brooklyn. And I already have an inkling of coming back for my birthday. But one day at a time. Actually, one moment.

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