Tonight I'm going to see a movie I've been wanting to see since I first heard about it: Pawn Sacrifice, about chess players Bobby Fischer and Boris Spassky. We had a busy weekend and decided to see it tonight instead. Then this morning I was both catching up with writing assignments I'd hoped to finish over the weekend and received some new ones. I'm transcribing as fast as I can and brainstorming new pitches and a little overwhelmed, as weeks like this tend to make me.
So it would be very easy to cancel the movie date. After all, we could go another night this week. But one trait I'm trying to cure myself of is the tendency to put work before everything else. Yes, on some level, my work is what allows me to eat and pay rent and all those other niceties, including going to the movies. On the other hand, I didn't even take a break to shower today and my eyes are getting that achy feeling from staring at my screen all day. I deserve a break, and have an interview scheduled for 10 p.m.
Especially as I pretty much make getting pregnant my other full-time job, or at least, my part-time job, I'm realizing that being a crazed, stressed workaholic isn't something I would ever want to pass on to a child, should I be blessed enough to ever become a mom. I don't want to fall into the trap of thinking that working more hours means working smarter or better. It doesn't. The truth is, breaks are good for my brain, not to mention my eyes and fingers and the rest of my body. They help me reframe whatever I'm working on, see sentences in new ways. They're necessary, even though I don't often treat them as such. So I will be keeping my movie date, and back at my desk in a few hours to resume writing and interviewing and transcribing. I often feel like I'm making up this freelancing thing as I go along, and the part where I learn that more hours at my desk does not necessarily mean more money earned is a lesson I will likely have to keep relearning along the way.