Having sex versus writing about sex

These days I'm not having sex, but I am still writing about it, via journalism, my SexIs Magazine column and lots of erotica. I thought this really interesting Alexis on the Sexes column by my friend Alexis McKinnis brought up a lot of good points, and is relevant no matter what subject you write about, though sex is especially fraught. How do you tell someone you're just not that into their writing when they're your friend? She also gave me some fabulous compliments, so thank you back! And Surrender is my 38th anthology - with the release of Obsessed, Women in Lust and Best Bondage Erotica 2012 later this year, I'll have over 40 anthologies out!

Just because someone has good sex doesn't mean he or she is able to skillfully write about it the morning after. I own bookshelves full of erotic short stories and novels, fiction and nonfiction, and I'd estimate approximately 10 percent of it is even worth rereading. I can't even imagine what a frustrating job someone like Rachel Kramer Bussel must have. She has edited nearly 30 anthologies, each packed with dozens of erotic short stories gleaned from hundreds of open-call submissions. I don't know how she's going to feel about me comparing her to a mainstream female porn star, but I'm about to, anyway: Imagine being subjected to mediocre to just plain bad sexual stimulation for hours and, if you're lucky, maybe something will get you off by the end of the workday. Rachel, if you're reading this, thank you for working so hard to make the world a better place.