Fuck-me feminism, various viewpoints

I found this very interesting post from Saucebox about "fuck me feminism" from February 2006. I'm still swamped with deadlines and frantically trying to meet them all so am just going to link and will fully comment if I ever have time, but I'll definitely be addressing this issue in my book Sexual Freedom for All, though I think sexual freedom goes far, far beyond feminism. I don't think it's as either/or as Saucebox and others have painted it; be for sexual choice OR be against sexist sexual practices, but I do think there's much food for thought here, especially this idea that women are supposed to simultaneously be ladylike and chaste or else we're sluts, while also being slutty and available to men. I guess, to summarize very very briefly my reaction to some of the commentary online recently, I don't think the proper response is to attack what other women want to do in bed, whoever you are doing the attacking. I don't think that furthers women (or men) exploring their sexuality in an open, nonjudgmental way.

Saucebox on "fuck me feminism:"

As women, we are taught to feel guilty for “giving it up,” to feel shame for having sex for the sake of sex instead of for some other more noble “female” reason like love or reproduction. We are taught that our sexual gratification and fulfillment (i.e. orgasm) are so much less important than those of men that the two activities which are most likely to give us orgasms (manual stimulation and oral sex) are generally not even regarded as “actual” sex at all. We are taught that women who openly want sex, pursue sex, have sex and enjoy sex without regard for the proper cultural standards of how many men it is acceptable to have sex with or how long is acceptable to wait before having sex with one of them or what kind of relationship should be established prior to having sex with them are somehow less deserving of respect and less human than the rest...

I can’t say I blame fuck me feminists for being pissed off about all of this. I myself am extraordinarily pissed off and tired of it. A big part of FMF is about saying “whoa, hold on a second. This ain’t cool. We want sex just as much as men and moreover, we demand the right to enjoy our sexuality in any way we deem fit without being made to feel fucking guilty and shameful about it. We’re claiming that right whether you like it or not, so you can fuck me or you can fuck off.” And I fully support that. (Please go click and read the whole thing, there was so much good stuff but you should read it where it was originally posted. That also might be an intellectual property lesson to all the people who didn't even link or mention The Village Voice and reprinted my entire column on their blogs or MySpace pages. While of course I'm glad to have people read my work, a little credit and at the very, very least, a link to the original source, would be nice. Oh, and legal. Or do we just say "fuck fair use" cause it's the Internet? A question that I have no idea of the answer to, actually.)

Ada Calhoun's Austin Chronicle review of Gynomite: Fearless, Feminist Porn:

Fuck-me feminism burst onto the scene in the early Nineties, a camera-friendly movement of well-coiffed feminists lounging in the pages of Esquire. The riot grrrls' fuck-you feminism, on the other hand, was less luxuriant and substantially more fun. Still, both sex-positive schools, aided by sexperts like Susie Bright and Annie Sprinkle, paved the way for a new millennium in which the pronouns have canceled each other out, leaving simply a call to fuck. Meet Gynomite. This feminist spoken-word movement has been around in various forms for the past few years, but seems to have hit its stride since a 1999 Houston revival led by Liz Belile. In Texas, where firearms are more available (and more legal) than vibrators, this story compilation marks an important stage in Gynomite's mission to liberate women "one orgasm at a time."