My breasts are not safe for work - welcome to the pink ghetto

Cupcakes and bondage
Originally uploaded by rkb1.

I'll never forget how proud yet also weirded out I was when my best friend told me her law firm wouldn't let her access my blog. I also remember well when Tripod just wiped out my old site, raquelita8.tripod.com, because I had some inappropriate photos on there. That made me determined to stick photos of my naked body all over my new site. Okay, maybe not all over, but on there somehow. I'm still amused when people tell me they can't access my blog or site from work and now, thanks to Lux Nightmare, that has a term that's especially apropos for this blog: The Pink Ghetto.

I don't preface every single thing I write with NSFW and feel like it's a blessing and a curse. Sure, sometimes I might post a topless photo, but to me, that's my right. It's my blog and I'm not asking or begging or forcing anyone to read it. That's part of why I love it. I do have to say that I have a love/hate relationship with my own x-rated photos, one I've written about. I have my moments where I want to take them all offline just so I don't get another email like this:

Was surfing along and came upon your site. Learned you write eroitica for just about everybody books an all, well I started to rub my cock enjoying, and then saw "photos" also, well when I got to the pic of you with yourhands tied behind your back and your(beautiful) tits hanging out, I started to leak pre-cum while still jerking my cock hmm! don't usually get any cum, cause I'm taking flomax for my prostate and all the cum usually flows inside instead of out. Gonna have to jerk this ol cock off thats for sure, but thanks again. I live not that far from you (nassau cty) if I ever get a chance visit you in queens it would be my delight to give you a licking from head to toe like only an old man could do!8-) Bill

I'm not as horrified as I used to be because yes, I know that if you put up sexy photos of yourself online, people are going to have this reaction and the optimistic and sex-positive part of me doesn't mind as long as they stay safely behind their keyboards. I wish there were a way to block certain things online from certain people, but, alas, there's not, and when it comes to written and photo content of mine, I have to make decisions that sometimes mean people see things I'd rather them not see, but to me, there's a bigger purpose. For me, the photos are there for me first and foremost, to capture a moment, a time, to make me feel good about myself on the days I feel like total crap, like the last few weeks when I've barely been able to drag myself out of bed and feel like I'm living in my once sexy now blanket-like black dress.

Even this photo accompanying this post (my most popular photo on flickr), which doesn't contain nudity, probably isn't "safe for work" in the sense that if your boss sees it, unless you're in some lucky field having to do with bondage or cupcakes, they probably will know you're not working.

Of course, it's kindof exciting to know that some software someone somewhere in some bank or law firm has deemed my words or photos too risque for the workplace. On the other hand, I'm rarely linking to or posting what I consider XXX material. Thankfully, there's such things as RSS feeds and even delayed gratification. I'm not going to say I'm proud to be in the pink ghetto because I think what puts some of us there is a lot of prudery, and the way our culture works is that the things that are in the pink ghetto become more exciting simply by nature of being cloaked in taboo, which, if I'm trying to do anything, is get us out of that mindset. I love to find out things about people's sex lives and thinking about sex that make me see them, and the topic at hand, in a new light, and often I learn about myself that way. It's why I read blogs like Sexerati, it's why I still care even when I sometimes long to move out of New York and go somewhere and become a mommy blogger. But then I come to my senses and realize that New York is probably the only city that would have me, and vice versa, and that I can be a mommy blogger someday and a, well, me blogger. I don't like the label "sex blogger" cause that makes me feel trapped, itchy, bound and not in the good way. Sex fascinates me, sure, but I think "sex" is so much bigger than what we give it credit for. So wherever you're reading this from, thank you, firstly, and I guess thank you too to any business that block me for making your users that much more curious about what's behind the pink door.