Home girl

I'm typing this at my desk as I listen to the rain outside, and I'm so grateful to be in my warm, cozy home. My home has shifted a lot in the last few years, after moving in 2013, 2014 and 2015, and I'm sure I'll be finding a new home soon enough. But why I've truly embraced domesticity, and why, I believe, it's embraced me back and helped my personal and professional lives succeed where before they hadn't, is that I've been willing to give back to my home.

When I was in the worst of my hoarding days, I refused to take even the tiniest steps to take care of my home. Cut to today where every day I vacuum my kitchen and wash and put away dishes and clean the stove. Where I rush to take out the recycling the moment a piece of paper or aluminum can is ready to go. Yesterday, I vacuumed the carpet in my room and then was inspired to do some of the common areas too.

I'm not suddenly some super neat person, but I've come to not just appreciate but deeply need all the ways we've set up this home. It's not just mine, it's ours, and that joint pride makes me want even more to make it my own. I have a print of my favorite Georgia O'Keeffe painting on my wall. The truth is, since it's to my right, not facing me, I don't actually pause and savor its beauty and message as often as I should. Sort of like the "open" tattoo on my back that I sometimes take for granted. I love having a gigantic bedroom/office with all my books displayed, easily within reach. I love having my own bathroom and a walk in closet that still feels like such a luxury sometimes I simply sit on the floor in it and read, because I've never had a closet where I was able to do that. I have even come to embrace suburbia.

No, it doesn't have the rush of New York, where on Monday night, Natalie Merchant, Ringo Starr and Pharrell were all speaking (and I'm sure there were plenty of other celebrities doing interesting things as well). But what my life in suburbia may lack in glamour and culture, it more than makes up for in peacefulness. I'd venture to say that when I lived in New York, I didn't want that peacefulness, or at least, not enough to make it a priority. I wanted the thrill of rushing from here to there, of nonstop events, of feeling so "busy" all the time. Now, I actually am working on looking at my 2016 events and business plans so that I can both do the work I want to do, make enough to not worry about my bills, and also have enough time for me and the other important things in life. I moved to New Jersey because I was ready for a different way of life, and every time I leave and return, I'm all the more aware of how ready that life was for me as well.

I could tell you right now about the things I've published recently, about nutscaping and erectile dysfunction and crowdfunded vibrators, and if you are interested in those topics, I do encourage you to read those. But I'm more focused on what's next; I usually am. I'm getting ready for a big month: November brings the start of a new LitReactor class that I'm gearing up for with new interviews and information for my students, my new book Dirty Dates, events in Savannah and Washington, DC, and turning 40, which is sneaking up on me so fast, I feel like I barely have time to say goodbye to my chaotic, often ridiculous, tumultuous and all-over-the-map thirties.

I fly to Savannah on Wednesday, and I return home on Tuesday, my birthday. In the meantime, I'm focusing on appreciating what's right in front of me, and knowing that I can have that sense of quiet and calm and beauty wherever I live, if I put the effort into it.

Getting excited for TEDx Navesink tomorrow

Tomorrow I'm staying local and going to TEDx Navesink, where I will hear people like Audible founder and CEO Don Katz (and we know how huge an impact Audible has played in my career), who recently said in a Q&A:

To have well-composed words professionally intoned and interpreted by a skilled actor adds an intellectual and emotional dimension that actually enhances the experience of a text. Scientific research we commissioned two years ago to gauge the neurocognitive and behavioral characteristics of listening to words indicated that subjects obtain an equivalent, if not superior, level of comprehension through listening to a book versus reading it. This has huge implications for learning at all levels of the spectrum, and beyond our Immersion Reading product, which synchronizes text and audio on Kindle tablets and has been roundly embraced by parents and educators, we have only begun to crack the surface of the potential here.

The other person I'm excited to hear speak is Abby Daly, Founder and Executive Director of nonprofit Bridge of Books Foundation. Here's info on their mission from their site:

Bridge of Books’ mission is to provide an ongoing source of books to underprivileged and at-risk children throughout New Jersey in order to support literacy skills and to encourage a love of reading.

Our goal is to get as many books as possible into the hands of New Jersey’s at-risk and underserved children. We generally acquire books through book drives and individual donations.

You can donate to them from their site.

What's especially of interest to me is that the theme for tomorrow is "Accelerators," and I've actually slowed my life down a lot since moving from Brooklyn to New Jersey, while trying to accelerate what was a stagnating career. I can safely say that the professional opportunities that have come my way in the last two years of living in Monmouth County have proven it is a much better fit for my work life, not to mention my personal life, both of which have thrived here where they floundered in New York. So I look forward to listening and learning. I'm not necessarily going to live here forever, but I am proud to be a Jersey girl, and even though I'm largely a homebody, I want to get more involved in my local community, so I'm starting tomorrow.

In which I learn that living in a house doesn't mean you're rich

That's what I always thought growing up in an apartment. Now I live in a house, and here's my snow-covered swing and an essay all about it, including the vicious start to 2014 which led to the silver lining of moving into this cozy place that has skylights and a basement (!! after living in a Brooklyn apartment with no closets for 13 years, a basement deserves endless exclamation points), and the office where I'm now typing. My working title was "House Proud" but the title Thought Catalog went with was "How My First House Changed My Perspective Of Wealth And Contentment," which is also accurate.