Supporting my community by backing Sexy Little Pages and Sex Down South

My two biggest goals this year were to get my financial life in order (I have a list of specific goals around that, but they basically amount to increasing my income, raising my credit score, upping my savings and amping up my retirement account) and to get pregnant. So far I've had zero luck on the latter, though I haven't given up, and am working diligently on the former. Five years ago, in October 2011, I was laid off from my full time magazine editing job and I really had no idea what I was going to do. My forays into the job market yielded nothing and that was depressing and demoralizing and I quickly realized I needed to simply adapt and rather than look for another full time job, I had to hustle as hard as I could.

That worked for a while, and last year was a good year financially, but it also came at a cost; I researched an article for a print magazine I'd dreamt of breaking into while on vacation in Thailand. I worked many odd hours and always felt like I was scrambling to read every last news item to see if I could pitch a story on it. So this year, when things got rocky in my little freelance world, I reached out to people I love and trust and told them I was looking for work, and lo and behold, I got part-time jobs writing for OMJ (Oh. My. Jersey.) and doing copywriting. Both have amounted to pretty much a full time job, and I still pour my heart and soul into editing and promoting my anthologies, teach my online erotica writing class at LitReactor, do occasional freelance writing and consult with writers about erotica. At the end of this year I will be formally assessing what's working and what's not so I can figure out my next steps.

But since this year has mostly gone well and seems to be on the upswing, I wanted to take a small amount of the money I've earned and find ways to both give back and spread the word about my books. I pour most of any extra income that doesn't go to bills or debt or savings back into promoting the Best Women's Erotica of the Year series, and that's paid off in the sense that I'm about to sign a contract to edit a fourth volume. That means I can plan and grow the series and really think strategically about what my goals are for it.

Additionally, I also plan to make an end of year donation to one of my favorite nonprofits, the New Jersey based Bridge of Books Foundation, which provides books to children in need. I used to volunteer helping sort books for them when I lived in Red Bank, and miss that experience but am so glad they are out there helping kids get their hands on books.

So while I'm still in the midst of really getting a handle on my money, when I have had a surplus due to especially good months, I've been looking for ways to give back, and two of those have been by supporting the sex positive community. I just backed my first Patreon, for the UK based publisher Sexy Little Pages. I've really enjoyed the books of theirs I've read, especially their tattoo erotica anthology Inked, and think it's wonderful for the genre to have new publishers, new voices, new ways of drawing in readers and new outlets for authors. I encourage my students to check out their calls for submissions and am always thrilled when one of them gets an acceptance.

The bottom line is, publishing is a business, and I believe we all have to support each other. This may be with money, by buying books or backing a Patreon like this, or by reviewing books on Goodreads, Amazon, your blogs, etc., by asking your library to buy an author or publisher's books, etc. There are really an infinite number of ways you can support the publishers and authors you love and want to see stay in business. I find that when a publisher closes, there's a lot of disappointment, but I think we then all need to ask ourselves, what were we doing to support them? So I wanted to use the blessing and gratefulness for what's been a good year so far to support a publisher I think is doing great things, and I encourage you to as well. If you back them for $3 a month, you even get a link on their site, so there's something in it for you too.

I have heard wonderful things from participants in the Sex Down South conference in Atlanta. I wasn't able to attend this year but I wanted to both support them and reach out to a community I think would enjoy my books, so the Best Women's Erotica of the Year series is now a sponsor of the conference. It's really an honor for me to be able to do this, and while large sums would have been out of my reach, theirs were very reasonable. So if you're in or near Atlanta, I encourage you to attend the conference this weekend and think about submitting to speak next year! Their lineup covers a wide range of topics, they bring in fascinating speakers and it looks like a wonderful event that I do hope I can experience for myself at some point.

Happy publication day, Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica

Today is the official release date of Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica, which is racking up some great reviews on Amazon! So much work goes into an anthology, from reading dozens of submissions, selecting the stories, which in this case had to balance gender of protagonists and a variety of toys, both the types that exist, fictional ones and household items, then editing, copyediting, cover copy and now the happiest stage, sending books out to reviewers, paying authors and promoting the finished book. I have big dreams for this one, but one book promotion at a time. I hope you'll check it out and spread the word, and I will be sharing all over (@comeagainbook on Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook) when I hear of stores stocking it. Right now I know indie bookstore Red Emma's in Baltimore has signed copies, it's on its way to indie bookstore Charis Circle in Atlanta, and Early to Bed in Chicago will be ordering it soon.



You can buy it there in print or at your local bookstore or sex toy store (ask them for it and they will order it if they don't have it in stock), as well as on Kindle, Nook and iBooks. I'm hosting a Facebook book release party online until midnight EST and at the official site, comeagainbook.com there's more info about the book and Q&As with some of the contributors. Happy pub day to my second favorite book I've ever edited!

The key phrase being "EZ pass to my pussy"

Or, yes, I hooked up with a stranger at the Hotlanta airport last year. And New York Press published my essay in their "Flavor of the Week" column. It's my first time being published there. I had sent it to Marie Claire because they have an excellent sex and love section with both reported and first-person pieces, but I never heard back. Not giving up; someday I'd love to have a piece published there. Big thanks to Jerry Portwood for including this and for the cool artwork.

Just as I found a spot to settle in, a very cute guy sat down across from me. “You were going to New York, too?” he asked in a sexy accent. He was from Costa Rica, making his virgin visit to The Big Apple, and in the same boat as I was. He planned to sightsee, and pick up gifts for his 6-year-old son. Even more than being drop-dead gorgeous, telling me you have kids is a way to make me instantly interested. It’s like the EZ Pass to my pussy, because it says all at once that you’re caring, protective, tender and loving—at least it does in my head. Whereas he’d only been a cute guy before, now he was a Cute Guy With a Kid. Not that I was planning to fool around with him, but I certainly trusted him more than I had when he sat down. We got snacks and kept on talking, and soon we wound up huddled in a far corner of the airport under a TV with CNN on an endless loop.



Been a long day, have to get some erotica out the door, promote In The Flesh which is now only two short weeks away (well, from tomorrow) and trying to wrap up Please, Sir. Got from WNYC asking me to go on tomorrow to talk about Mark Sanford, then calling back a few hours later saying they don't need me. Glad I didn't do too much research, but need to get my focus back. Though what I really really need is a long weekend on a quiet beach, but that'll have to wait a few months.

In other words, my nails are getting crazy bitten, I need to settle on new glasses this weekend, my royalty check is sadly smaller than the last one (despite more books being out, boo) and because I didn't do it last weekend, I fully intend to get myself to Greenhouse Holistic this weekend for a massage. Thank goodness it's a 3 day weekend.

I'm leaving it til the last minute as to whether I'm going to the RWA Conference. I've never been and frankly am a bit intimidated, plus it's rather pricey, but I'm leaning towards it. Anyway, no more blogging cause I can barely cross one tiny item off my to do list, but am gonna make an effort. Am also crazy sore from my first personal training session at my new gym, New York Sports Club. My trainer totally kicked my ass yesterday, and I'm seeing her again Tuesday. Was a reminder just how out of shape I am, and my legs are feeling it now.