Last week was a challenging one, to say the least. It pushed me to my emotional limit, not because anything majorly awful happened, but a combination of intense deadlines, upcoming international travel and general anxiety had me breaking down in tears several times. I just kept wondering, Can I do this? I even considered canceling my trip to Thailand because I wasn't in a frame of mind that seemed conducive to travel. I wanted to curl up in bed and not leave.
But I got through the worst parts, thanks to my very patient boyfriend, made my Qatar Airways flight, and have spent the last few days exploring Bangkok and catching up with one of my oldest friends. I met my deadlines, and even decided to write a little while I'm here because with the time difference (it's 11 hours ahead of EST), I can go out during the day and then, when I'm physically tired and ready to not be walking around any more, I have been catching up a bit in the evenings, in a way that doesn't feel anywhere near as stressful as last week did.
So far the highlights have been eating at the Hello Kitty House cafe, visitng the stunningly gorgeous Wat Arun and Wat Pho, surviving my taxi and tuk tuk rides (I am afraid of cars and try to avoid them), running through a rainstorm and eating something for breakfast that I'm not sure the name of, but it's fried and vegetarian and delicious. My friend wisely told me to get a SIM card and being able to go online, use Google Maps and not feel like I'll ever be totally lost has made a world of difference.
So did the 20 or so hours it took get here. On my flights, I had plenty of time to think about what I'm doing with my life, what I want to be doing, what I don't and how to make changes and manage my workflow and not feel as trapped as I did last week. I'm not saying I figured it all out in the air, but I have felt much calmer, more centered and also more productive during my time here. I have gone from being utterly afraid of what my professional future might hold to feeling extremely grateful for the opportunities that are coming to me, and the chance to truly think about how to make opportunities happen. With that said, I'm now going to go enjoy my trip, but wanted to share a few photos.
Nature competed with the man made structures for my favorite things I saw
the intricacy of the artwork on these structures was stunning
Coconut water straight from the source helped keep me from overheating and was so delicious, I'm sure I'll be having it again while I'm here.
my "I hope I don't die in this tuk tuk" face