I moved four days ago, and am settling into real suburbia, where everyone drives and life is a teensy bit different than Red Bank. When the weather is not so blazingly hot, I will explore more, and plan to relearn how to drive 22 years after I did it the first time. Looking forward to exploring and getting my slot machine action on in Atlantic City and whatever else is happening here. It's an adventure, and as averse as I usually am to change, this year change feels inevitable, with my 40th birthday looming, so I am embracing it.
For now, I'm wrapping up Best Women's Erotica 2016 and assorted articles and unpacking my thousands of books and hoping to use this new home as a way to recharge and refresh my focus and truly ask myself what I want to do with the rest of my life. Some days I think I know, and others I have no clue.
My last few years in New York felt like I was trotting along, focusing more on my heart's whacked out whims than any concrete plans for the future. This year, I'd like to change that. I don't know exactly how yet, but I know that change is vital if I want to have a sustainable career and a sustainable life. I found so many old notebooks and journals and jottings, and they reminded me that in some ways, I was more successful in 2005 than in 2015. Yet in 2015, I've been pursuing new ideas, new topics, new approaches. I've said, "I could live anywhere" and meant it. I've booked a trip to Bangkok for this summer. I've negotiated for more money on a book deal and an article, when in the past I'd just been so grateful for anyone's yes I took the first thing I was offered. I truly can't predict what this year will bring, but I'll spend most of it in my chandelier-filled office/bedroom, trying to figure it out.