I've always thought the best way to write is in a selfish way, for yourself, as your first, best, only audience. Of course there is a wider audience, but of late I've realized that I've been hampered in what I write here and elsewhere by this specificity of this mini audience. It's one thing to vaguely know who's reading, it's another thing to know exactly, whether it's crazy folks, lovers, exes, family members, whatever. I just can't do it anymore, not when I have a blog with 20 times the traffic that actually makes money, bazillion deadlines, and real-life issues. Not to mention, as should be pretty obvious, nothing to say. I can't stress over what to say or how to say it on this blog, and that's what it's become, just another kill-me-now to do list item. I wind up thinking less about myself and what I might want to say than who might be reading and how they might interpret every stupid little thing I write and that is exhausting.
So while I will be posting links to items I write, such as my upcoming sex column for Carnal Nation and whatever other tidbits I'm lucky enough to place, any personal blogging won't be happening here, at least for the next few months.
I remember back in I think 2005 I clicked "delete blog" and you know what? It felt fucking fantastic. I of course reinstated it and all that bullshit from 2003 and 2004 is Google cached (I think), and because I've backed myself into a "professional" (let's all laugh loudly at that notion, cause I'm the least professional person ever) corner, need this blog to serve at least as a place to promote my little books and whatnot. Part of me wishes I could erase it and start over, but then again, I feel the same way about my life.
So since I can't do either, I'm just gonna go forward the best way I know how. With, like, my journal (cue Samara O'Shea). I'm still on all those social networking sites I've been on and will be of course cupcake blogging daily and doing In The Flesh and all, so I'll be around. Just not here. To those who have been reading, occasionally or often, THANK YOU. I hope to have some substantive writing to share in the next months/year.