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Lusty Lady

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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

What I'm reading: Live Nude Elf by Reverend Jen

Cover of Live Nude Elf by Reverend Jen

It's truly a shame that every sex columnist ever now has to be compared to Carrie Bradshaw, even though I slip into it too sometimes. I just gave a blurb to a novel and since there were four female friends who all talked about sex, I felt compelled to call it hotter than SATC, but I try not to. So I will ignore the Carrie reference in the official description of NYC art star Reverend Jen's new book Live Nude Elf and just share this little excerpt of an excerpt:

After a moment's deliberation, I typed: Adorable nude housecleaner will clean your pad spic-and-span for a reasonable fee. Available immediately.

I thought that "adorable" sounded less conceited than "hot" or "sexy." Plus, I figured men who were seeking nude housekeepers were probably looking more for June Cleaver than Jenna Jameson. Moments later, a deluge of e-mails appeared in my inbox. Posting my ad on the coldest weekend of the year had been a stroke of genius. No one was planning to leave his or her apartment. The very idea that someone, anyone, was willing to go outside, let alone take off their clothes, was a phenomenon — a marketing blitz.

"Do you do bathtubs?" "What is your rate?" and "Can you send me a picture?" were the most common requests. Not knowing how much to charge, I looked to the other ads on Craigslist, but all of the nude housecleaners simply wrote, "e-mail me for rates," with the exception of one nude housecleaner who was offering his services for free.

"Ew!" exclaimed my coworker, Angie, who'd been hovering over my shoulder, reading the various ads. The going rate for clothed housekeepers was between ten and twenty dollars per hour. "If they just took their clothes off, they could make a lot more money," I surmised. "Maybe they need a manager." Fifty dollars an hour seemed to be a fair price, if not a bit on the cheap side. But because my endeavor was really a science project, I didn't believe it was ethical to charge premium rates.

She's having a book party this Saturday and other events are planned, and is reading August 20th at In The Flesh Reading Series. All I can say right now is that Carrie Bradshaw never would've had a chapter in her book called "Art Fag."

Live Nude Elf: The Sexperiments of Reverend Jen

Official Launch Party:

Saturday, May 2nd 8pm

Bowery Poetry Club (308 Bowery)

with Reverend Jen

The Trachtenburg Slide Show Family Players,

The Electric Mess, Brer Brian, go-go elves and more!

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