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Lusty Lady

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Thursday, March 06, 2008

The good thing(s) about funerals

Yesterday was actually a lovely day, funeral and all. I mean, how sad can you be with this in front of you?

Cousin cuteness
My cousins Adam and Alexandra

I joked that the good thing about funerals for me is that since so much of my wardrobe already consists of black dresses, it makes selecting an outfit really easy. But in truth, the good thing about funerals is family. Sometimes, because some members of my family easily drive me crazy, I forget how really awesome they are. There were lots of people I’d either never met or knew when I was little, old family friends, and some of the people who are most important to me in the world. I sat with Adam, pictured above, and his dad I the back and sacrificed my eyeliner and lipliner, which I don’t wear anyway, to trace his little hand again and again on some blank paper. That little boy melts my heart and is just so adorable. I saw my LA family members, who I'm gonna see in May, and it actually felt, in many ways, less stressful for me than usual family gatherings. There was plenty of food, but of course, and while I won't say it was joyous, it was far more a celebration of her life than a mourning of her death, though that was mixed in. My stepfather, who's a rabbi, conducted the service, and said that death is a haven for the weary. In this case, he was certainly right, and knowing she is no longer suffering I think was comforting to all of us.

It was actually a really nice day, and good to reconnect with my cousin/former roommate, who witness how tired I was when I said, “Wow, Baskin-Robbins has ice cream now.” I saw how much of my hometown (Teaneck, New Jersey) is totally different than it was when I was growing up. I feel so much like New York is my true home that I forget that that small place was once the center of my world.

I even made it back in time to laugh so, so hard at my awesome comedian friends, who didn’t care, like I did, that they were playing to a crowd the size of them. They made even the unintentionally funny parts totally hilarious and just seemed so happy to be there. I was fretting about turnout but as it turned out (ha ha), it didn’t matter, and those who were there were actually really lucky to hear such awesome comics reading comics. I think we’ll do that again at some future date, and this time, we will all properly pimp it out.


At March 09, 2008, Anonymous Sue Katz said...

Dear Rachel,
Thanks for your reports from the heart about dealing with bereavement and funerals and the cupcakes beyond. At 60, I'm finding that funerals are becoming a regular marker of the months and years. Elders and peers alike - lingering or sudden - the rituals, when done right, can really be a cushion.
Thinking of you,


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