My best rejection?

I'm trying to decide what to submit to Jon Friedman's book Rejected: Tales of the Failed, Dumped, and Cancelled. And can I just say how excited I am for this book?

I could submit something that's been rejected, and, well, um, there's an essay I sent to Mr. Wrong but that would just be...wrong. And while I love the spirit of the show, I think I have better things. Like hate mail! And another hate mail that I read at the Rejection Show but will not blog so as not to antagonize the person. Interesting legal question: who owns the copyright on something like that?

Anyway, if you have any ideas, let me know. I guess you wouldn't really know about work that's been rejected, but anything else. For now I'm gonna send the hate mails and this old Voice column about Valentine's Day breakups and hookups. For the record, I'm still not a huge Valentine's Day fan, at least in its usual incarnations. I don't need to do an anti-Valentine's thing, just something normal or mellow. Probably the best Valentine''s event I went to was a Lois show at Tonic. I was there alone and this was back in...'98? '99? Which makes me go want to find out what Ms. Maffeo is up to nowadays. I could use a good dose of her music, live.

Speaking of live events, check out Jon's MySpace page for upcoming gigs, including the super awesome Ritalin Reading Series hosted by Lindsay Robertson and the next Rejection Show on May 9th. And see some rejection classics (I have seen these several times so I'm entitled to call them classics) like "Michael Winslow, I'll Get You!"

And now for some true lol classics, just because these still crack me up almost four years after I first heard them (RIP, East Side Oral):

A Letter to a Blind Date

A Letter to the Inventor of the Tank Top