Pull my hair

The scalp contains millions of nerve endings (a fact not lost on the folks at Herbal Essences — Yes!). And his fingers running through your locks "is a primal form of nurturing that makes you feel loved," says Laura Berman, Ph.D., author of The Passion Prescription.

Women’s Health found that in a survey they conducted polling over 1,000 readers, women’s #1 turn-on was men touch their hair. This surprised me, because I didn’t think it was so common, but then they go on to recommend cranking it up a notch by having him brush and/or wash your hair. If you ask me, that’s too much. I like to do those things myself, and frankly the only time a guy has washed my hair is when I got so drunk on margaritas I puked all over myself (a particularly low moment) and he had to give me a bath. There’s something kindof infantilizing about that to me personally.

However, part of why I love having long hair (and indeed I wrote an erotica story called “The Real Reason I Have Long Hair” that’s in the anthology Five Minute Erotica) is that I love having my hair pulled. Or even gently tugged, but in the heat of the moment, having it pulled so my head bends back is hot. But even stroking my hair, like in public, or touching it somehow, is really intimate and sweet, if I want the person to do it. I don’t know exactly why, but having a lover run their fingers through my hair or play with it or using it to hide us making out in public, is totally hot to me. Sometimes, especially in the heat of the summer, I fantasize about chopping it all off, but then I don’t. Dyeing or playing around with my hair is my way of changing my look without getting a tattoo or something more drastic. I like that I can put my hair up or down, do braids, a ponytail, whatever. It’s versatile and just feels right to me.

For a very different take, check out Kimberly Clark’s essay at Fresh Yarn, “Please Do Not Pet the Negro:”

My mother made sure I learned that I was not to be treated like Exhibit A being passed around a courtroom, or some type of attraction at an interactive museum. Touching my hair was a big "no no."

See also Nichelle's post about the play "Split Ends"