Book review: Daddy Needs a Drink

I'm a total sucker for parenting books of all stripes and will devour most of them, but this one really stood out, and I heard from Wilder that book 2 is on the way next fall. I also did a Father's Day cupcake interview with him over at Cupcakes Take the Cake, and you can find out more (and read his Santa Fe Reporter column "Daddy Needs a Drink") at his site www.robertwilder.com.

And, since I had mentioned blurbs earlier, here are two for this book:

"DADDY NEEDS A DRINK hits you in the face like a fully loaded diaper. These hilarious tales of fatherhood are both shockingly foul and utterly humane. This is a spectacular book - even if you don't have kids and may never want to. If you do have kids, Robert Wilder will make you feel like you aren't the only one screwing it all up."

— Augusten Burroughs, author of Running With Scissors and Magical Thinking

"Robert Wilder doesn't just a need a drink, he deserves one, for writing the funniest, most irreverent book about parenting in recent memory. DADDY NEEDS A DRINK is an affectionate, wickedly observant, unexpectedly tender account of one man's sleepless journey through the brave new world of diapers, toy trains, and very smelly snowman suits."

— Tom Perrotta, author of Election and Little Children

Daddy Needs a Drink

Daddy Needs a Drink is a delightful peek into Robert Wilder's child-filled life, highlighting the ridiculous charm of his kids, Poppy and London, and the daily dilemmas and lessons parenting has taught him. From the first few pre-pregnancy tales, one of which involves listening in to his neighbors' dalliances via baby monitor, through his kids' adventures and misadventures, Wilder proves that he's laughing at himself most of all.

More than just "cute kid stories," Wilder explores the ways teaching his children right from wrong can often be unsettling for other adults, such as when his son decides to say the word "pussy" at many an inopportune time (not to mention "hipple") or teaching him about dwarfs ("dwarps" in London-speak). He explores his son's addiction to his nuzzies (blanket lint) and their attempts to wean him off of them.

Wilder also has an eye for the hypocrisy of other parents and teachers, pointing out their excesses and eccentricities. On the beach, he describes sitting near "High-Maintenance Mom" while he makes sand mermaids for his kids. When High-Maintenance Mom's daughter comes over to see what the fuss is about, Wilder writes: "The little girl left her mom and wandered over to what must have seemed like more fun than an outdoor office where your boss ignores you." No matter how much he may roll his eyes at certain parenting conventions, Wilder will never be the kind of dad who blatantly ignores his kids.

And, while humorous, Wilder exhibits a vulnerability that's refreshingly honest, most notably when he shares a crying bout upon observing his daughter on the playground. He's a dad who's willing to go above and beyond the call of duty, wearing a filthy Frosty the Snowman outfit, buying outrageous amounts of school supplies, and generally humoring his kids without spoiling them. His essays about his own father, whose love for Sam's Club knows no bounds, show their own deep connection.

Wilder's greatest gift is in making readers laugh, but never at the expense of anyone else. There are stories that his kids will likely one day laugh right along with, and he includes himself in the punchlines. He touches on telephone etiquette for kids, how to deal with his children's voluminous output of artwork, and balancing the needs and wants of two adults and two kids harmoniously, while also giving a glimpse into the rest of his family and his friends' adventures in parenting (where the terrible twos extend onward well past that famous age). This is well worth reading, whether you have (or even like) kids or not, and while his love and awe for his kids is clear from every page, Wilder manages to be hilarious and tender, but never sappy. Wilder doesn't claim to have all the answers, and learns along the way, painting fatherhood as an ongoing journey of learning, growing, and being changed by his role as a parent, and his humorous writing is all the better for this lack of a master plan or know-it-all advice. I will be giving this book to all the new dads I know.