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Lusty Lady

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Monday, September 11, 2006

Sex and cupcakes

In my head, I know that sex and cupcakes are different, yet to me, they're related in that I think about both quite often. Cupcake blogging and eating and all of that are kindof my escape from the sex business, which can get tedious and draining and just something to be escaped from, especially when you're single and horny and surrounded by dirty words all day and night.

Generally, I keep Cupcakes Take the Cake extremely PG. We've debated whether to even put up bachelorette party cupcakes with fake penises. I wouldn't post, say, my nudie cupcake photos (and for those who like them, there will be more soon). But I posted a tiny snippet of Violet Blue's post about eating a cupcake and one reader took offense:

oh brother. That was ridiculous to read. I'm quite sick of people who can not express themselves, so they have to use the F word and relate everything to sex and orgasms. Instead of finding a creative way to describe cupcake Joy, this writer (and by extension, the person who posted this here) resorted to something cheap and pathetic. Old trick for covering up lack of talent.
Lackluster. Offensive and NOW, I'm not going to ever come back to this site or pass it along to friends. Because really. I don't know how the person with that mouth can put a cupcake into it.
Cupcakes are too sweet and too amazing to be mixed with such a tongue.

Part of me wants to apologize. I don't have a blog so I can alienate readers, and I know that not everyone is quite as sex-positive as we are. On the other hand, what is this commenter really saying? That people who like cupcakes should never talk dirty? There we are ruining the innocence of cupcakes by alluding to sex? This came up before, when we were interviewed for a Columbia University Journalism School class and they told us some reporter had claimed that "cupcakes aren't sexy." Well, let's just say through our manner of eating cupcakes, we proved otherwise (and really, I mean that in a pretty innocent, eating-cupcakes-in-public-at-Billy's-Bakery kind of way).

That's fine if someone's offended or it's not their cup of tea - one post among thousands. I have to agree, on a personal level, with Violet. When I bite into a cupcake and get that explosion of frosting, it's overwhelming and mind-altering in the way good sex can be. It makes me unable to think about anything else, just feel the frosting coating my tongue and taking over my mouth. Like when I'm about to come, it's almost too much, and I want to prolong my swallowing for as long as possible to keep that creamy, sugar high on my tongue.

At the same time, mostly, cupcakes are my innocent escape from sex. They're something I can talk to anyone about, friends, family, strangers, etc., without getting into the drama of being "Rachel Kramer Bussel" or "Lusty Lady." I'm just a girl who likes cupcakes. But this whole either/or, be innocent or be dirty binary is, I think, part of the problem that fuels so much of our confusion about sex, which relates back to everything from Bill Clinton to Steinbuch v. Cutler (really, you will hear from me about this soon) to any sex scandal du jour. People are so uptight that they can't see that sex is not automatically dirty. That getting lost in something, whether it's sex or cupcakes or kissing or board games or whatever, can be good for us.

If we think of sex, and talking about sex, as "cheap and pathetic," well, what does that say about us as a culture? It's funny because I'm sure plenty of other people have had that reaction, too, and yet it's so foreign to me, I guess maybe I forgot that people think that way. That sex and "the F word" have no place in our world. I'm not saying everyone has to get a sex high off cupcakes; I don't all the time, but to basically discount someone's words and also never visit the blog again, well, it's her loss.

Ah, I feel better.


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