Rave review: Em & Lo's Sex Toy

Em & Lo's Sex Toy

I should really say that the fact that I read an entire sex book speaks well of this book. So many pass through my mailbox that I'm much more likely to read a YA novel, mystery, or memoir than a sex book, especially when they just serve to remind me what I'm missing. But this book inspired me to go out and get myself a Wahl plug-in vibrator and I have to say, so far, so good! Pretty much silent, especially compared to the Hitachi Magic Wand. I also just got Violet Blue's The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Sex Toys which I plan to read soon, too, but since I'm not (yet) part of an adventurous couple, I will have to file the info away.

And my review...

I thought I knew a lot about sex toys before I started reading this book (who knew there were anal beads called “Grapes of Writhe?”), and was expecting to be mildly amused and entertained but nothing more. Little did I know that Em and Lo have truly scoured the market and are ready to give their uncensored opinions about toys, stores, materials and websites. In a fun, linked encyclopedia format (any words that are also their own entries are colored blue), they take you from acrylic to Zzzzzzzzz with a whole lot in between. Using a few key, quality sex toys stores as their basis for referrals, they then dive right in and give their take on what these toys are for, who might enjoy them, how they can be used, and what to do/not to do with them.

A sense of humor is at the heart of this book, even though they’re also imparting very useful information at the same time. “The vagina is like the perfect studio apartment⎯there’s a whole lot more room in there than you think,” they write. Never afraid to laugh at themselves, they admit to having left a silicone dildo boiling on the stove while running out only to find it welded to the pan. Whoops! It’s delightful little disclosures like these that make their tone so conversational and let you know they really have tested the products they’re talking about. Take their entry on strap-ons (which are also covered elsewhere): “When a woman fucks her straight boyfriend up the butt with a strap-on, it’s called disrupting the cosmic order, and it’s a very good thing.”

You’ll also read about the toxic chemicals phthalates on what feels like every other page; they warn you about any toy that does or might contain them, and recommend alternatives. They’re quick to discourage you from trying anything that might be dangerous like desensitizing penis and anal creams, but give you plenty of options for sex toy fun. The political message here is sly but there for the careful reader: “Normal sex is a concept that exists only in the minds of right-wing extremists.”

With helpful drawings, safety tips, and extensive detail about pricing, brand names, and the purpose of a myriad of toys, they truly cover the ins and outs of sex toys, lube, caring and shopping for toys, using household items, and even critiquing sex toy websites for ease of navigation and price range. They don’t just tell you to buy silicone toys, they tell you why you might want to (and why you might not), offering health, comfort, and environmental reasons to consider the materials that go into your toys. But best of all, they present an easy-to-read and use guide for you to find out about that toy you’ve always wondered about (the Dr. Ruth-endorsed Eroscillator anyone?) and ones you’ve probably never even imaged (Flexi Felix, a set of anal beads in the shape of a cat). As I was reading, I was taking mental notes on which toys I want to check out next time I’m at my local sex toy shop, since there’s clearly a whole wide world out there beyond the Hitachi Magic Wand (oh, they also discuss companies like Hitachi and Wahl who make these “back massagers” so popular with the ladies). From face harnesses to the Feeldoe, rubber ducky vibes to remote control toys and, my personal favorite (paddles), Em & Lo really break down what you need to know and give insight into the products as well as the people and companies (and laws) behind them. Highly recommended!