How Not to Look Fat (or, How Not To Feel Like a Loser)

How Not To Look Fat

I have to admit that when I first heard about Danica Lo's book How Not to Look Fat, it made me want to throw up (and not in a bulimic kind of way, in a just-what-is-she-trying-to-say kind of way). WTF? I thought. But then I actually read it and I have to say, she makes a lot of sense and is not about telling you what a fat slob you are. In fact, her book tells you just what the title says - it's not about how not to BE fat, but about tips anyone can use to make you look slimmer. It's all about illusion and she covers everything from what kinds of shoes to wear (heels, no ankle straps) to kinds of coats and slimming makeup. I was a little sad because some of my favorite kinds of clothes are a no-go in HNTLF land, but the book was easy to read and kindof had the "fake it til you make it" attitude, though wasn't about just faking it until some mythical day when you are thin. It's really a tough love, self-love, best-foot-forward kind of book. Less than any specific tip, aside from the shoe angle, and I'm working on that - basically she says to wear heels all the time cause they make you look taller and thinner, which I actually knew, but think I need remedial walking in heels lessons from a seasoned veteran like Molly Crabapple. I've been lazy and wearing my squishy, super fun, soft, melt-against-my-feet Sugar flip-flops, which shoe maven Miss Meghan would surely say is a no-no.

But anyway, I was really impressed with Danica Lo's approach. It's the kind of book I can go back to and consult when winter sets in and I need to get a coat or want to see what she advises about balancing my bulky bags against my body. It's especially useful right now when I'm doing my best to exercise and eat healthy and get stronger, but am not doing everything healthy, like getting enough sleep. For me, so much of that process is about motivation and feeling good about myself, because it's so easy to get discouraged when I'm in a permanent time crunch, like this month, when I'm on the verge of collapse or crying it seems cause I just am playing catchup constantly. I think because of the heat I'm not so tempted to pig out and go crazy (much more likely to go on a retail therapy shopping spree, also bad in its own way). So knowing that I don't have to do it all at once, that I can still do my best to look good, and thinner, even as I try to work on all these issues, was a real boost and I'm glad I read the book and didn't let the title deter me.

I think there's a lot to the fake-it-til-you-make-it thinking positive thoughts way of being. It's really not my natural inclination; I'm way more inclined to think the worst, all the time, even in the midst of other good things, I go automatically to the negative. It's how I've always been. But I'm trying so hard not to do that because it really is debilitating. I had that for a flash at Kambri and Christian's wedding, which, hands down, is the most fun wedding I've ever been to. It was great to see, firstly, the two of them having such a great time, even giggling and goofing around during their vows, plus I just felt really a part of a certain community, even though I'm a little bit of an outsider, not being a comic myself, but I realized how in the last two years, I've made that community my home to some extent, and it's filled with some of the funniest, wackiest, most interesting, and smartest people I know. And even though I felt good in my new dress, which sortof just floats along behind me, there were several moments where I felt like a complete and utter loser. Here I am, at another wedding, without a date. Sometimes it's really daunting because it feels like I'll always be the girl at the wedding by herself.

But my point is, I eventually snapped out of that and had a really great time and realized that I don't want to just grab anyone to be my date when I'm really all about working on myself and my writing and visiting friends and family this summer. I need that freedom, to be able to just dart off and have Chinese food with my cousins last night after I interviewed someone for my column. Right now, waking up at all hours and madly scrambling to finish so much and keep my head on straight, it's not a time for me to be dating or seeking a relationship really. But that doesn't mean it's not sometimes lonely, and being okay with that, is okay. Should be basic, but for me it's a lesson I have to keep learning over and over again, and that same spirit is what I found in Danica Lo's book. It's definitely worth a look, no matter what your size, because it really isn't a diet or exercise book or anything like that, but about maximizing your potential and your own look and making you feel better about yourself.

Plus, she's a salt lover (and blogger) like me. I know people associate me with cupcakes and I'll indulge in a cupcake or two when they're in front of me, and love blogging about them, but give me salt over sugar any day. Give me salt over alcohol, sometimes, even give me salt over Diet Coke.