Words of wisdom from Janice Erlbaum

I sometimes get so stuck in my own tortured head, worrying about whether this or that person likes me, regretting the times I've fucked up, feeling bad about all I haven't done, feeling like everyone knows more/looks better/has something I don't, that I forget that other people sometimes feel the same way. I think it's so easy to feel alone with our thoughts and fears, even when we have a group of fabulous people in our lives who will listen to our craziness and tell us it will be okay, who will love us anyway, who we never have to try to be "perfect" for, it can still be lonely and scary. I get these urges to run away, to throw everything in the trash (I know, I should probably do that anyway, for the few who've seen my place) and grab a suitcase and go somewhere, anywhere, else. I do that in little ways too, instead of sticking out whatever it is, whether it's a conversation or a task or a commitment to myself. I act like there's some mythical "later," that I can push aside those urges and dreams of writing something "big" because I'm scared I'll fail.

So anyway, it's nice to see that I'm not the only one who has mental freakouts. I know I'm not, yet I sometimes feel like I have no one to talk to about this stuff who will really get it. But I do, and am so glad to be connecting with people like Miriam and Ellen and Jessica Valenti and Molly Crabapple (who wrote "Be there or be a parallelogram" on her blog - love it!) and D. and other writers and artists who just get it. And so does Janice Erlbaum, aka Girlbomb, who blogged about going on Judith Regan's Sirius show:

Then I went on Judith Regan's talk show. And she's got this reputation for being such a fucking ballbuster, and you know what? She was awesome. I loved her. I could have sat there all day agreeing with her that parents have to take care of their goddamn kids, and that men should have to fill out applications and take tests in order to mate with women. Brilliant! And I doubt she gives a single shit about whether or not people wuv her the mostest, or whether she was polite enough to the woman at the counter at the deli, or whether she should cringe and beat herself mentally for an hour because she might not have been quite polite enough. Or whatever. I get the sense that she lives her life without unneccessary apology.