Mindy Raf is a whore and so am I

Some really dumb boys at Columbia Law called my friend, comedian Mindy Raf, a whore . . . because (omg, are you ready for it?) she has sex. And, omg again, writes about it!

But what I love about Mindy is that she's throwing their dumbass assumptions right back at them:

Am I really a whore because I had sex with a guy I was DATING?! And even if we weren’t dating, and even if I had sex with more than one guy, am I still a “whore?” Or am I a simpy a “whore” because I made it public that I had sex with a guy and wasn’t ashamed to do so?

No. I think I’m a “whore” because some men just can’t handle the fact that a woman is able to not only tell people she’s having sex, but do so in a smart and funny way (Or at least that's always the plan.)

It’s 2006, does this double standard really still exist? I guess so. I guess women still can’t be public about sex without men saying “she’s such a whore” or “ugh, why do women always talk about sex and their vaginas.”

It's so appalling that even today we are supposed to apologize for having sexual urges, just like men. How can that be WHEN WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FEMALE CHAUVINIST PIGS? You can't have it both ways, feminist scolds - either anything goes, or women like Mindy and me and Jessica Cutler can still safely be called whores. Clearly, it's the latter.

Also, I don't think we can really protest this unless we destigmatize both the word and the act of whoring. To decriminalize prostitution and get rid of all the really ugly stigma around whoring in the various senses of the word. See my column "Whore Pride" for a few examples. It's about creating more financial options for women so those who don't want to don't have to whore, as well as looking at the reasons behind prostitution AND other things that are not technically whoring but are called it. If we have a problem with women tacitly taking money for sex, yet men are offering women money for sex, what does that say about our so-called freedom? That it's okay to fuck whoever you want - but don't take money for it? What about taking a free dinner? Ah . . . then things get trickier.

I so would like to think we're past a time when women are judged in this way, but sadly we're not. Anyway, whore or not, I adore Mindy and think she's just fabulous - she's also a very funny lady so you should check out her site and her gigs and her College Humor column.