I love . . .

I don't throw the word "love" around lightly. Even when using it in the casual sense, like "I love that dress," if I say it, I mean it. I try not to do things half-assedly, and sometimes that gets me in trouble, but most of the time it brings fabulous people into my life. So instead of feeling sorry for my single self, I'm so grateful for the awesome people in my life, like my friend H., who's as tiny as Miriam, who's all ready to kick some boy's ass cause he was a jerk to me. The people who know me, who just get me without me having to explain myself a zillion times, are so fabulous. They get that I can be a blowjob queen, not just on paper, but also be ridiculously infatuated with babies and cupcakes. And woe upon anyone who tries to take advantage of my sluttiness. I love them.

I also love Jessica, for her chutzpah. Really, I think that's the word for her reading last week. I want some of that. She's able to say "bygones" and mean it and not give a fuck what all the haters think, whereas I will twist myself into knots to get some random stranger not to hate me.

I love the very NOT safe for work Pippi Longstocking photos of Justine Joli over at TGP. She's so naturally sexy, and to me, the best sans makeup, just chameleonesque self.

I want to be friends with people and in relationships where I learn by example. I'm such a freaking sponge-like work in progress, and sometimes it amazes me how much I take from people's life philosophies, but I like that. I hate feeling so stuck in my ways that I can't learn something new, try something new, see the same old story from a different perspective. That's why I live here, even when I bum around the apartment most of the time - to meet those people, whoever they are, who make me a better person, like the friend who told me that if you're invited to a wedding, you should go. So I am - over July 4th, to Costa Rica. Like the one who said that he likes to have time to ruminate on a task, because then when he sits down to do it, it's all there in his head. I can't wait to take on BEA with the table of hot girls who usually sit with me at In The Flesh. We are gonna converge on the book masses with kitty ears and sexy smiles. Sometimes it amazes me how easy I am. Not easy like that; I think we know that already.

I mean how easy it is to make me feel, whether feel good or feel bad. I am probably never going to be completely level-headed. The highs are high and the lows are low but that's just me, and I've found that those who can't handle that I just have to walk away from and instead of belaboring and regretting those losses, I need to take a damn good look around and see all the fabulous people who make me smile all the damn time, the ones I can shove a book in their hands and say "read this!" the ones who I could talk to for days on end and never get tired, the ones who can say a lot in a single sentence. The ones who make me feel less alone even when I am alone. The ones who know who they are without me even having to say a word.