Doesn't this photo just say it all?

Perhaps the best In The Flesh photo ever
Originally uploaded by rkb1.

I think this photo of Josh Kilmer-Purcell and Jessica Cutler is totally fabolous. Read Josh's take here. Let's hope the May 17th In The Flesh is just as hot, in all senses of the word.

Have had to skip a few things this week, including Hello, I'm Special and the big Nerve party. It feels good, though a little self-important and obnoxious, to say "sorry I can't go, I have to write." Freelance writing never feels like a "job," which is perhaps why I get in so much trouble with it and get panicked and freak out about it so much. I wish I could be like this guy I was briefly seeing, who then disappeared off the face of the earth to bury himself in work (he had to, and I get it, though am sad that things had to end).

I've had artist friends who could just tune out and truly hibernate and bunker down for months at a time to finish a film or project. I want to be like them, but I also realized I need people. I can't just go to work every day and come home. I can do that sometimes, or mostly, and can force myself to sit at the computer and face the blank screen and make some words come out, but I can't be a robot. Finding that balance, well, is very tricky, and when I figure it out, I'll let you know. I'm giving myself some self-imposed deadlines, but those are pretty worthless when it comes to a slacker like me. I'm trying though - trying to make up for past mistakes, trying not to hate myself, trying to believe it's possible, that if other people believe in me, maybe they see something I don't. Trying to envision my goals and enact them. No promises here because I realize I could fall flat on my feet, but I feel this urgency to get it done now, while I can.