Valentine's horror stories wanted

I'm opting out as I'm choosing to (as much as I can) think happy thoughts lately, and nobody really needs to hear any more about my horrendous Valentine's Day breakup - that's so 2004. But if you want to win a copy of Best American Erotica 2006 (and, incidentally, read all about my fucked up 2004 Valentine's Day), Susie Bright wants you to:

describe the WORST, SHITTIEST, WEIRDEST, or JUST_PLAIN_BAD Valentine experience you have ever had. It can be on the giving, receiving, or indifferent end of it all.

I'm a play at Galapagos on Tuesday night and hosting my reading series on Wednesday, and in the meantime writing as much as I can and bringing the cupcake joy to those around me. And flirting via email, that's always fun. Oh, and blushing. Lots of that.