She's back and she's wearing Agent Provcateur

I don't know where exactly along the way I went from being slightly skeptical to being a huge supporter, but it was pretty early on. Anyway, I am so loving Jessica Cutler's new website. The girl is back and she's blogging again, but best of all, she could give a shit about what you think of her. Any girl who has a donate button saying "I need money for slutty clothes and drugs!" and who just sends a big fuck you to all the people who gave her shit for the boobs on the cover of her books by posting her own boobs, in a really hot lacy pink Agent Provocateur bra is okay in my book. The first media mention at the top of her site claims her as one of "Washington's Most Loathsome."

Seriously, I have a girl crush on Jessica Cutler, if only because I'd love just a smidgen of her devil-may-care attitude, and the way she just totally owns her actions, her self, and now, her website. This girl is smart and sexy, and please don't mistake me for saying that you should all go out and emulate her. Neither is she. I don't think anyone could weather being held up as a role model, or as an example of all that is evil in the world. People are more complex than that, and Jessica has managed to come out ahead with this without compromising who she is. She had some sex, she wrote a blog (which, obviously, MANY of us have done), and the rest kindof unfolded around her but rather than slinking away she has stuck around, not as some contrite quiet repentent soul, not skirting around what she did, but just digging in her heels and saying "I'm me, take it or leave it." And that's not an easy thing to do. As Meghan O'Rourke put it today at Slate,, "Even when a young woman feels fine about her sexual choices, she still encounters unconscious reinforcement that what she's done is wrong."

I think the more criticism of her I read, like what I read in Female Chauvinist Pigs, the more I couldn't help but take it personally. Anything you say about Jessica, or, say, Monica Lewinsky, or really any woman who does anything sexual that becomes public, really reflects on all of us. Because those critics? You know, the ones who call people like her (or me) things like slut or whore or pig? They'll say that and think that unless you're a virgin on your wedding day, and by virgin, they very likely don't mean "everything but." It's really easy to try to distance ourselves from the Jessica Cutlers and Monica Lewinskys of the world, to try to act like we're better than them or different or morally superior, but, news flash - we're not. Bill Clinton's not, Robert Steinbuch's not, I'm not and you're not.

I admire Jessica for her tenacity, her honesty, and just her sheer pluckiness. And yes, you can fucking quote me on that. But don't take my word for it (and I don't necessarily expect my readers to agree with me on this, but I think anyone who automatically criticizes her needs to reexamine the situation a little more clearly )- read her new blog.

Also: My Gothamist interview with Jessica Cutler

My Village Voice column, "Spanking Jessica Cutler"